Oh HE Double Toothpicks

Now my computer needs to go to the shop. I'm having very bad karma with technology lately. Dell is sending me a box like a little casket to send her to the repair shop. Bad cord, loose hinges and a crack in her frame. I must say the Dell tech I talked to online was quite polite and helpful.

I think I'll need a 12-step program to go cold turkey without it. I'm addicted, it's true. My Dell keeps me in touch with my sisters via emails and photos, buddies and Facebook friends. It allows me to do this Blog nearly every day. It's just a part of my routine.

I work on the computer most days at work too, but that's not the same. I can't just flit about looking at stuff I want to there. I use my work computer for typing letters, doing spreadsheets and work-related emails. Not for fun stuff.

I hope Dell comes back to me quickly! Until she goes, I'm charging my computer with my former roomie Krissy's Dell cord. Krissy is here visiting early this week, but will be off to parts north Wednesday. That will be about time for me to ship this beast.

Fave days

Argh me mateys - yesterday I was cut off from my blog the whole day. The site must have been down for maintenance or whatnot. It was quite frustrating. So here's what I wrote and saved.

While Saturday night’s all right for fighting, I make no secret Friday night is my favorite time of the week. Second to that are quiet, leisurely Sunday mornings. That’s why I like to get church out of the way on Saturday nights. So I don’t have to rush off in the a.m.

Saturday mornings typically involve non-work related work. Half marathon training (P and I walked 8.5 miles yesterday a.m.) , grocery shopping (one of my non-fave activities), laundry and other assorted errands and necessary tasks (dog food, library, greeting cards). Busy stuff.

On Sundays I can be a lazy bum. I like to get up fairly early as that helps stretch out my casual time. Because before I know it, it’s time to clean or cook. I read the paper, eat breakfast and surf the Internet as I’m doing now. If Paul goes hunting, antler hunting or camera checking, it’s quiet vewwy vewwy quiet (my Elmer Fudd voice). If Jud is home it’s still quiet as he sleeps in until lunch time. Right now the only noise is the spinning washer.

This is the life. Sipping coffee. No hangover – pretty quiet night last night. We went to A&G for supper (still celebrating the 27th anniversary of our marriage ya know). Home by 8ish and in bed – sleeping by 10 PM. Geez we ARE oldy moldy. Did have a migraine early this a.m. – I think it’s just that time of year. Sleeping with windows open doesn’t help my allergies. So I took my meds early and felt better by the time I got up around 7 a.m.

Pet notes:
Odie too is suffering allergies this year and itches like she has cooties. I discovered a rashy spot on her chest last night. Now Daddy Pablo must take her to the Doc to see what’s up. I put hydrocortisone on it this a.m. and she’s simply overlicking her paws now. She did get the excitement of chasing a stray kitty off our deck this a.m.

Our cat (Kitty we call her, though her name officially is Samantha – Amy’s 3rd grade birthday present), is simply elderly. It takes her a long time to make her way downstairs where food and litter are. Arthritis I believe. Her fur, which used to be silky black, and now she’s not able to (or no longer wishes to) keep it groomed and it’s a little clumpy. She doesn’t seem to be in major pain though and is eating and drinking fine. She’s not been to the vet for several years, as that time she bit the vet despite being confined in a plastic box made for cats having shots. Kitty was smarter than the average cat and bit Doc Richard anyway.

I’m thrilled to announce that my cell phone issues have been handled as I went back to US Cellular yesterday and that service guy knew what my problem was- my memory was full and leaking (my cell phone memory, though I believe that accurately describes my own situation as well). He updated my Blackberry software and sold me a $16 memory chip. Now I should get all texts and my alarm should work properly. Too bad Blogspot is having some type of issues and I can’t post this. It’s always something!

I'm at Joan's now and our new Qwest modem is working just fine.

Aaaar, talk like a pirate

Above - our guy pirates in the hot tub at our Vegas rental home last year.

One of my new fave holidays is coming up in some 20 days. National Talk Like a Pirate Day - September 19 - the birthday of my oldest sis Susi, and a buddy Christine. Plus my co-worker's son Trent who will be 4.

I learned of this holiday just last year when I was out in Vegas - my first trip ever to sin city. We went with 2 other couples (the same Dee, Don, Sharon and Al that we did last weekend with - hmmm alcohol, trips it's a common theme with all of us) for the ISU football game there in September. God knows ISU doesn't make it to many bowl games, so we decided to treat that game as our bowl.

S&A rented us a beautiful 4 bedroom house in Vegas for the long weekend - Thur - Sun. It had a pool with a hot tub. Paul and I won the lotto for the master bedroom - with its own huge closet and bathroom. But the whole place was pretty nice.

We were just getting situated when I got a call from someone I know in the trash biz - Sara runs the landfill in the Pella area. She mentioned to me that it was talk like a pirate day the next day. And that got us going for the whole weekend. Aaar, me mateys!

We mostly hung out by our pool (beverage and book in hand) that weekend. But we also saw some sites of Vegas, Henderson, Hoover Dam and old Vegas. We rode the roller coaster drunk, attended the ISU pregame party at Hooters that was one big Clone lovefest. I took pics there.

The game was pretty good, though the outcome was a heartbreaker in typical Cyclone fashion. We tied it up only to lose in OT. They actually serve alcohol at games in Vegas - there are no topless showgirls there but you can get Jim Beam! We made due tailgating in our rented van - pulling the back seat out to relax in. We saw some people we knew in the crowd - there were something like 10,000 fans there.

My Facebook page is set up in Pirate English, which is amusing to me. I know I'm a bit wacky for a 51 year old wench...

Get smart

Above - YOUR P & L Goldsmith - after boating all day so never mind my Alfalfa hair.

Update. I sent an anniversary card to the "other" P&L Goldsmith last week, and today, on our 27th anniversary, I got a card back from them! We've gotten comments from around the state from friends about those imposters from Chariton and their 30th anniversary photo in the DM Register. And even from people (Paul's own clerk at work) who thought that really was us?!? The Pauls and Leslies have decided to meet on middle ground - in Osceola for a meal some day. Stay tuned for photos.

Remember the Get Smart theme song? It played while Maxwell walked through innocuous hallways on his way to work. Doors slammed behind him.

Many of my workday mornings start out just like that. I get that song in my head after I flash my security card at the only door I can get in at 6 a.m. on the SW corner of the Wallace Building. (one time last winter on one freezing and snowy morn, the door wouldn't work and I had to walk around the corner to another door).

Once I get in the security door (and it slams behind me), and up a few steps there's another door. Metal and heavy - only the left side is unlocked. It slams behind me. Around a couple corners in the bowels of the building - doors marked (DO Not Enter - Dairy Lab), stacked computer modems. It's a labyrinth that I finally know my way through. Around a couple more corners and there's the elevators. They might take me to 5th floor. If I hold my mouth right.

All while humming, da da daaaa da! Maybe I'll get the dome of silence around my cubicle!

I love reading tee shirts! And buying funny ones. I got one - a tank - in the Ozarks that says, "The liver is evil, it must be punished". What a hoot!

and this one I saw in the East Village of DM on one of my lunchtime jaunts, "Des Moines, French for The Moines" haw haw. Good stuff!

Oh yeah

Take that you mofo Qwest guy. You said you doubted the modem was the problem with our Internet. And when I hooked up the new modem the much nicer Qwest lady sent. And between the new modem and the cords etc., that baby is now cooking!

So I'm baaack! Yep I'm pretty wired when I'm not wired. I gots to have my Internet. I've been wired since the mid 90's now. Got hooked up back in the day when all we had was dial up. Back in the day. I used Netscape and thought I was queen of the surfin' world! It's such a relief to get the wireless up and running again at Joan's. Even got Joanie fixed up so she can use her computer wirelessly now.

Now my damn phone is beginning to act up - forgetting to accept texts and not sounding the alarm when it's time to get it. You'd think all technology was against me. The US Cellular guy said if my phone happened to get wet I could get a new one for $25. Hmmm it was raining today. But dammit I like my phone and don't want a new one...

I like to hear from you readers out there. I know some of you don't like to comment online (or haven't figured out how to..). But it helps to know you're out there. Feel free to skip boring days. As I told my friend Mar today, I blog to breath. It's really like therapy - I do it for me, but enjoy having you readers along for the ride!

Book club was lots of fun last night at Thea's. It was a dark and stormy night...and a good time was had by all. To combine two corny phrases. We had a big group - nice to get some new members in the mix. We discussed "Digging to America" by Anne Tyler. It came with discussion questions right in the back, which is quite helpful. We take turns reading them - which even gets the less vocal (we kind of a mouthy group, but there are a couple quiet ones) members talking.

Poor Thea got a bit nervous as the dark stormy night was producing copious amounts of rain and she was afraid of her pool flooding. I was glad to have Dianne make a meeting after she missed the last two. She's such a character and makes me chuckle. She always seems upbeat. Last night she talked about nearly getting cold feet on her wedding day - thinking of escaping out the bathroom window. Last night Angie brought oreos and Jackie brought delicious coffee cake. Vidette was delighted to discover we could bring alcohol if we so desire. Next time girl friend!

2 posts due to unfortunate Internet issues at Joan's

The gauntlet
I had to walk the gauntlet tonight. No it wasn’t like the gauntlet American Indians used to have to walk in order to prove their manhood. (Remember the movie “A Man Called Horse”?) I believe that showed an example of a gauntlet – and it was brutal. The person had to walk a long aisle of men who took their best shot at him – with weapons. By the end he was bloody!

I wasn’t bloody, but I felt like I’d been pummeled - after walking through the cosmetics area in Younkers at Valley West. It wasn’t yet busy when I got to the mall, so the beautifully made up and coiffed women were all looking for customers. I dared walk through. They took one look at me and decided I wasn’t a likely candidate for their services. Not worthy…like I was something they'd like to scrape off their pointy shoes. Well F’em! I can’t help it if I’m inept at girly thangs…


Ozark Lake Daredevils part deaux

Where was I? Since my Internet at Joan’s has been out, I can’t look to see just where I left off in my tale of our wonderful but brief vacation to Al and Sharon’s Lake Place. Unfortunately A&S had to leave for a family funeral. Night one was a whirlwind, and none of us were feeling too perky to start Friday a.m.

Late in the afternoon on Friday, Donnie got word that Paul E and Lucy were in town. So we cruised to a restaurant for – surprise! More drinks and food. I had a Cajun Bloody Mary and woooweee coach, it was damn hot! We sat and chatted – P&L are remodeling a new place they purchased recently.

What to do for the evening? We were all pretty beat from our tough day of hanging out on the lake – drinking and snacking. So P&L (not us but the other P&L Paul and Lucy) came over and P grilled burgers and potatoes. I needed food like a hole in the head, but yeah I ate a burger. Then it was off to bed.

When we got up on Saturday we did take a 4 mile walk – and oh the hills! Bobbie and Dee even ran up some hills – animals! Jeff, Paul and I didn’t. It was a gorgeous day and we had an invite to Bob and LuAnn’s place for breakfast – P&L were staying with them during the remodel of their new place. The Bloody Mary’s were ready when we got there! Plus eggs, hash browns, bacon and hot cakes. It was fab and I was hungry after my walk.

Then we took off for Party Cove – Paul and I were Cove virgins. What a place – if only we were 21 instead of 51! What a show of boats and breasts. We hovered for a couple hours and just watched – Donnie and Jeff floated around on noodles a bit. I took it easy on the fluids – remembering my near catastrophe the day before!

We headed to Dirty Dogs that afternoon – a crowded place with an entertaining singer, Billy Blue or something like that. He insisted on flinging beers that weren’t Bud lite into the water. We got a couple different appetizers and I had me some weed. Jeremiah Weed the ice tea drink. It was very refreshing.

Then Dee decided we needed shots and we had red-headed sluts! Not sure what was in that baby…we headed back to the house and cleaned up a bit to go out to eat. (see there’s a recurring theme here). Captain Ron’s had a pirate theme (you know Talk Like a Pirate day is only a few weeks off – one of my fave holidays, September 19!).

I had fun shopping there. See – I DID do something besides drink and eat that day…I bought an eye patch for $1. We got home pretty early after our wild day of watching young people get crazy and foolish. Sunday was leaving day (tears here). We went to Miller’s Landing once again for breakfast – and I had to purchase the “The Liver is Evil it Must be Punished” shirt. Too funny!

Our drive home was uneventful – I read my book for the Book Chicks meeting this week. It would have been another gorgeous day to be there at the lake.

Damn technology

My Internet works fine at work and at home, but neither Joan's nor my computer will pick up Internet via Ethernet nor wireless at her house.

I've spent a couple hours on the phone with Qwest, our Internet provider. Last night's guy was pretty snippy. It looks as if the modem is working, but we're not getting it on our computers. Qwest man says to call Dell and Dell says "not our problem". FML

More later when I'm happily surfin' once again...
meanwhile Joanie is canning tomatoes - no techie problems there! mmmmmmmmmmmbacktowork....

Leisure Lake Experience

Note the look of relief on my face after using the facilities...

We're back from our trip to the Ozarks and I must report a good time was had by all! Except our hosts Sharon and Al who unfortunately had to head back to Creston Friday for a relative's funeral. Bummer - I sure missed Sharon's awesome cackle of a laugh and Al's easy pleasant manner. Being 51 has its benefits - when I was 30 I didn't have friends with places like this!

Our trip Thursday to the Lake - near Osage Beach, MO was uneventful. It rained like hell when we crossed the state line into the Show Me State. Our friends began to text us to find out our ETA. We got there right on schedule around 7:45 PM and lemons were awaiting for me to make - you guessed it - martinis! We were playing catch up!

We Quickly checked out the "cabin" A&S own - which is really a lovely 3 bedroom 3 bath home with a double "slip" dock. They have a great boat which can seat 8 easily. A&S, Bobbie&Jeff, Dee&Donnie and Pablo the Poolboy and I hopped in the boat to go for supper. I tried a new drink - Jeremiah Weed something or other that tastes like ice tea. We had pizza and then danced to the DJ and Al and Dee sang karaoke. I learned a new line dance. Great fun!

We sat on the deck overlooking the lake when we got back. Al was draggin' his feet on going to bed as he knew he had to head home the next day. So the rest of us were obliged to sit up with our host. It was a beautiful evening.

In the morning we boated to a delightful breakfast place called Miller's Landing, and sat by the water drinking coffee while we awaited our food. Sadly, after that A&S had to take off (in their white Corvette I might add - I want to grow up to be them...). We had a quiet moment as they drove off. Then we said "Mom & Dad are gone, let's party!" Ferris Bueller anyone? haha

We loaded up the coolers and took off for a day of boating. It was sunny and just a little windy. We drove along the miles and miles of river and checked out the gazillions of $$ worth of homes. Then we floated in a cove, drinking brewskis and relaxing. I read my book while others napped. Then...I had to pee. Soon it was badly...and due to my recent surgery, I couldn't get in the water to make the lake my own personal urinal.

So finally we took off and headed towards a place called Gators. By the time we pulled up to the dock, my eyes were tearing up. My Gawd, surgery wasn't that painful! I hopped off the boat even before Donnie (named boat driver in Al's absence) got parked and raced into the bar. Sheeeit - there were 2 women waiting for the ladies room. God was with me though - a man came out of the men's room and I raced in and used it. Wheeew, disaster averted. Afterwards we had some really good hot wings, and more Weed (the drink).

My laundry is now done, so I'll have to continue this tomorrow night - that is IF Joan's Internet is working again.

Ozark lake vacation goers

That's kinda like Ozark Mountain Daredevils, right? Hmm can't even remember what they sang...

Anyways, our friends Sharon and Al invited us to stay with them along with other Cyclone faithful, Bobbie & Jeff, Don and Dee at their place down south. Osage Beach is the general location - about a 6 hour drive from C-town. It's right on the huge man-made lake, and S&H have not owned this property too long.

That's about all I know about the place, other than the fact that this group has imbibed many alcoholic bevvies there in past years. A&H have a boat and some type of pull behind thingy, so I'm going to go for a ride. Due to my unfortunate uterine removal I'm not able to swim yet, so I'm glad it's not supposed to be fiery hot.

B&J got there Tuesday, D&D arrive tonight. We're going tomorrow and coming back Sunday. Yes, can you say short and sweet. It's such a busy time for us though - with work and all, so we can't afford to take much time off.

I just baked cookies to take along. It's my fave recipe in the whole world, the Methodist Church cookbook chocolate chip pecan cookies. This recipe has been used so much through the past twenty or so years that the page the recipe is on is discolored with grease. I pretty much have it memorized, but like to get it out anyway. It includes oatmeal, rice krispies and the secret ingredient, cream of tartar. Best evah choc choc chips.

PS Sorry about the little break Monday and Tuesday! I spent a couple hours on the phone Monday night at Joan's talking to foreign techie guys trying to get the Internet to work. After all that, it seems perhaps Joan's modem got hit by lightning. It sure wasn't working anyhoo. I'm relieved that now that I'm home my friend Dell and I are bonding once again.

I spent yesterday afternoon working at the fair in the DNR trailer again. After our workforce organizer lamented in our staff meeting yesterday that last Thursday's workers (including me) were much too generous with the free shopping bags, I had to get into my Bag Nazi persona. Oh the power...

The other L&P

Our doppelgangers, the other Paul and Leslie G are celebrating their 30th anniversary on the 18th, and several people have sent notes to give us a hard time. Though we've never met them, those two have shadowed our lives through the past 27 years. Our anniversary isn't until the 28th of August and it's only 27 years.



It was 27 years ago that my HS friend Candace sent a letter with a clipping about them having a kid - when we weren't even married yet. haw haw. They lived (and still do) live in Chariton. And they have a couple kids - boy and girl. In these past 27 years we've learned a great deal about this couple. I wonder if they've been mistaken for us too.



When we moved to C-town some 23 years ago people began to relate to us tales of the couple who lived some 60 miles to the east of us. We learned Paul G. is the county attorney while Leslie is a teacher. A few people I've met through the years have lived in Chariton and know them. Funny.

Then, after we had lived in Creston a couple years, I got a call one evening from a woman who said something like - "It's so&so, you know your college friend!" and I was all like WHO? and she repeated and added some little funny memory of something she had done with Leslie Gsmith. And I searched my memory bank - that was long ago and I'm not a iffy on memory as I tend to be now. Umm Nope. Don't know ya! We finally figured out she was talking about the other LG.

A few years went by. I had surgery at a DM hospital and when I checked in they told me to review the information on my bracelet they put on you. Arg - it said Leslie M Gsmith birthdate 5/4/57 - that's strangley similar to my 11/4/57 date, and my middle name after my aunt Martha. Too eerily similar!

Five years or so ago I was sitting on our beautiful deck, and Paul brought me the phone and a child said, "Mrs. Gsmith what time are we supposed to be on the bus for the field trip tomorrow?" I stammered back "where are we going?" while thinking crazily "Did I line up a field trip to some recycling venue that I don't remember?" But the kid explained they were going to the zoo in Omaha. Aha, I said - you're talking about the other Mrs. G. Phew, no zoo trip for me!

The final coincidence proved to be beneficial to me - I received a heavy box one day, a few months after Dad passed away. It proved to be 2 bottles of nice wine a chardonnay and a red. It had a nice note saying how lovely it was to meet me and how was my daughter doing on her trip? (Amy was away in Italy) But the kicker was when it got to the end of the note it said "I hope you stay in teaching." Again...hmmm no not me. So I emailed the gifter - lucky she included that on the note - saying Wrong LG! She emailed back and said "enjoy the wine." Sometimes it's nice to be the other LG! Wonder if she's gotten any good things meant for me??

It was Sally's bday yesterday

Above - my bday circa hmmm 1964 or so. My Grandma Morehead is in the rocker, and it looks like we had just remodeled the screened in porch to be a family room. Note all the little dresses. Looks like I had me on some bobbie socks!

I started hanging with Sal around 2nd grade I think. We had a large group of friends - prolly because we are boomers. After WWII the peeps popped out kids right and left. I think Mom kept very busy dressing me (and my sissies) birthday parties and buying gifts.

I recall little girl bday parties at Robbie Dob's, Sal's, Theresa's, Sherry Smith (our grade), Christie Jo's, C Peterson's, Debbie Grote's (she moved away in like 6th grade) and D. Thompson's (she later got pg - in 9th grade and went away, only to come back sans bambino a year later), and more. Also in our neighborhood - Julie Buckingham (another one that moved away), Lee Lee Van Nostrand, and me nextie Laurie Reinertson.

We played birthday games a course. Pin the Tail on the Donkey, pop the balloon with your ass, some game with clothespins and more. We won 'lil prizes doing the games. In fact C Peterson didn't with at Chris's party and she tried to steal some of the prizes by sticking them in her skirt waistband. They fell out later - busted Cindy! That's why even today, since my whole fam has heard this story, they can shout out "Stealer Peterson" which the Dorff clan called her forever more.

My mom was a whiz at making wonderful cakes for our birthday parties. We had so many friends invited that we were ensured a gaggle of gifts. One year I received 3 piggy banks that were all the same - 2 blue and 1 red. We also got little toys and our fave, porcelain horses.

Mom would often arrange our parties downstairs at our house. The laundry room served as the spot to lay out the food. There was a bottle opening on the wall in that room - convenient!

Later, when I was old enough, the parties turned into slumber parties, though slumber was not descriptive at all! More on slumber parties later.

My big thought of the day

This thought popped into my head whilst listening to my iPod at work this a.m. Yes, 'ol lgold worked at the Wallace Building today, after working at the Iowa State Fair last night. Wew, staying in DM (or Waukee, really) 4 nights makes for a looong week. Especially after being home in recovery (nope, not from drugs and alcohol) after my hysto for the two weeks prior to this one.

Anyways....on to my thought. Which I emailed to myself right away so it wouldn't be so fleeting. Take that fuzzy brain!

The song "We Just Disagree" by Dave Mason came on - one of my all time fave songs. And it occurred to me that song could be played for somebody going through a divorce. I do think some divorces really almost need a ceremony to celebrate the end - a reverse wedding thing. Getting the divorce decree in the mail just doesn't seem very official. At least that's what some of my divorced friends tell me. What do you think?

I admit it, I'm watching Dr. Phil, a show on plastic surgery. Here's a college chick who has already had a boob job - from an A to a C. And she's showing off them babies nicely. But she already wants a DD. Thank God her dad says he's not paying. Too bad she'll prolly go out and find some sugar daddy to fork over the bucks.

My beloved says he doesn't find those biggies attractive. But that doesn't stop him from checking them out. Okay the dad on Dr. Phil just said - "before the surgery she had a problem because she was flat chested". I resemble that problem! And don't appreciate him calling small boobs a problem either. Let's see your package guy...

Would I like having bigger boobs. Yeah, maybe a little. But not enough to pay thousands of $$ for 'em. Any guy that only goes for well endowed women isn't the type of guy I wanted to attract anyway. (good thing I had those falsies to lure Pool Boy, huh...?) J/K

My Fair Lady

I was a fair lady today - as I worked in the DNR Education trailer at the Iowa State Fair. It was a little boring, but fun to people watch. The trailer is an interactive walk through experience - people can use the touch screen computers to answer questions about recycling and about hazardous materials.

I was in charge of changing the DVDs of Bill Nye Science Guy and handing out nice cloth shopping bags. And people watching.

It's amazing how many people have tattoos these days. Old women with Jesus fish on their legs. That lady was legally blind too - she had a cane anyway. How does she know if the fish is even nice looking? Younger women with flashes of tattoos coming out the top of their tank tops. Guys with them all up their arms. Skin art.

I got a half hour break and buzzed over to the potty and to get a bite to eat. Usually I like to savor my choice, but I was on a mission - so I ended up with a chix sanny and yep, fresh squeezed lemonade. Yummy. Not to mention the dutch letter for dessert.

Then it was back to the trailer to finish up the evening. I got to sit behind the counter in the entrance when Laura my co-worker went to supper. That was a more comfy position. I saw a couple of Creston gals - Ginny L in Varied Industries and Brenda S walked thru the trailer. It was fun to see a friendly face (or 2).

At 8ish I headed back to the shuttle bus and our friendly driver dropped me off near the Capitol (I rode it there too), all for $2! The area around the Capitol is pretty quiet at that time of day. I noticed the sidewalk police of Waukee would have a heyday on Capitol Hill! Can you say lawsuit?

All in all a pretty good day for working 14 hours!

Well excuuuuuse me

Now that I'm back working in cubicle-land, I am noticing how very often I end up saying "excuse me". And the polite DNR folk often say it back to me. It's because our aisles between cubes are pretty narrow. And people sometimes chat in the aisles, causing me to walk in the middle of their conversation. Other times, I've got to turn my shoulders sideways in order to allow another person to get by.

There are also blind corners to if you're not paying real good attention you can step out in front of others. We could use those mirrors at the end of those aisles. Today, as I rounded the corner coming out of the restroom, my boss Al popped out of a conference room without looking. Then he began quickly advancing down the main walkway, but he abruptly stopped twice without checking around himself or putting on his backup lights. I about rammed him twice before sneaking down the first aisle I could. He never did see me.

Remember the old Steve Martin "Excuse Me" skit? I can picture him with that arrow thing that made it look like an arrow was sticking through his head, strumming his banjo. "I'm a ramblin guy oh yeah oh yeah." Please hand me that piano!

I took part in the John Hughes (the director) poll on Facebook. I selected Uncle Buck for my fave of his films. That is such a good one! I like it better than Home Alone, as it seemed more realistic. John Candy was so loveable, and the skit with MacCauley Culkin and the mail slot was genius. I liked Sheresse. and their relationship. Plus the whole bitchy niece thing.

Dammit

My memory is so very fleeting. I had a good blog idea earlier today, but now under pressure, it's gone! It's very frustrating - and it's happening more frequently now that I'm over 50. I believe it is just because my mind contains so very much information that some of it is bound to be lost or misplaced.

I've suffered for years from some bits of needed bits of information just beyond my reach. I might know what it starts with, and what the word or thing isn't. For example, if we're trying to think of a bar that was in Ames while we were in school, he might say Alibi. And I know that's not the one I was thinking of. But last week it took me 2 days to come up with Granddaddy's Disco. Dang...

I really hate it when I call people by the wrong name. Do you ever assign the wrong name to someone (inside your head) and then you have to convert it to the correct name every time? I do. There is a woman who works at the library whose name is Terri. But I want to call her Vicki every time. In fact I did once and then was appalled when I read her name tag at checkout time. I had to apologize. Yet just last week I was tempted to call her that again!

Today was an okay day. I took a walk across from the Wallace Building the State Capitol and ate my lunch while reading a good book in the shade of a large tree, sitting on a bench. It was quite delightful! And I wasn't quite so exhausted today, though I took off at 4:15 again, to beat the crowd out of the parking garage. Tomorrow is the State Fair parade and I'm going to skedaddle (is that a word?) early to take my new el carro in to get the rear view mirror put on. It's got a compass - essential for someone as forgetful as myself!

Back at it

Here I am...back in my chair away from chair at Joan's house in Waukee. Missing my green chair with ottoman in Creston. And the lil black doggie that wedges her ass in next to mine - especially when it's storming out. And the cat on the ottoman. To say nothing of the guy that lives in the house, who waters the plants and mows the grass and scratches my back and lives in the house that Jack built. (I made that last part up - wasn't that a kid's book?)

It was very hard, packing my suitcase last night and shipping out this a.m. Sunday evenings are depressing around our place as we both get ready for me to go. And him to stay. Two weeks at home was a nice long time to get entrenched once again. And now I'm here in the BC (Big City).

Work was more taxing than I had anticipated. I'd felt so good. I guess I wasn't considering that I was working at home the past couple weeks - and not full 8 hour days. And last week I didn't have an hour plus drive before working. By mid afternoon I was beat. I didn't realize how beat until Jim at work told me how tired I looked. I came home to Joan's and laid on the couch until we got all caught up with each other.

Then we did a 2.5 mile walk at a fairly leisurely pace. After the 7 I did yesterday, that was just right. The walk did perk me up a bit. Ah I'll get back in the groove, but for the time being I'm going to take it a little easy on myself. I am still in recovery mode! I keep forgetting I'm not superwoman...

Disaster Averted...

Thank goodness Pablo is training for the DM Half Marathon with me. Otherwise I could have dented myself today. After a couple late nights this weekend, we decided to do our 7 mile training walk this a.m. We took off after sleeping in until after 8 a.m. In between miles 1 and 2, we took a route through a new residential area in Crestonia, off Cottonwood. It's a loop we don't drive on since it doesn't lead anywhere. Walking on the street, downhill we were looking ahead at the lovely homes on the street, when I tripped on a high spot in the pavement. Damn Creston streets! I stumbled forward with my knees threatening to collapse, overbalanced and threatening to pound my head into the pavement (yet again) or break my wrist. Paul reached out and snatched my hand, allowing me to recover my balance. My hero!

We had a busy weekend! Friday night we met the Mc's (McFee, McKim) and Higgins (hadn't seen them since June) at A&G for supper. I made my self a lovely 1.5 lemondrop martini before we left home. Then I tried Amber Bock beer - quite delicious! Beers were tasting good my friends. To ALL of us evidently for we headed to Sidetracked Bar after A&G, to sit in their beer garden. It wasn't so much a garden as a dively fenced in area where people can smoke and drink. Yahoo! I'd missed sitting among smokers (not) but they didn't bother me. There was a resident kitty cat in the "garden" there too. After that, we went back across the tracks to the former DQ which is also a beer garden, but with just a little more ambience. Hey they let us write our names on the wall! Plus they had a Cyclone Bag toss game. I was through drinking by then, because I knew we were heading to Minnesota to see some family bright and early the next day. 

We took off by 7:30 a.m. and stopped on our way to drop some chairs off for Juddy's new apartment. We had a great visit with the Fox Fam (Paul's sis Jean and hubby Dave) - our niece Peg and her partner Brooke were back from NYC and we got to meet 1 year old twins Alex and Logan. Niece Annette and Jeremy live in Watertown, MN along with Megan - 5 and Caleb 4. Nice time. We had planned to stay with our friends in Northfield, MN but alas they had plans. Vic kindly offered for us to stay there anyway. But once we hit the road, I had the bit in my teeth (see horse stories from last week) and there was no stopping me! And I didn't feel like staying in a motel. Paul drove until Mason City and I could tell he was beat! He'd been a champ in the beer drinking department Friday night. So I drove home from there on and we arrived just after 1 a.m. A good time was had by all!

Poco Hijack

After I'd had Frosty a couple years, the family that sold her to me wanted her back. They wanted to trade me a nice young 3 year old gelding Registered Quarter Horse. Which was a huge decision. So big that I burst into tears when I considered it.

Trading Frosty in seemed like something a traitor would do. I'm from the pets for life school of life. But the good thing was she was going back to a loving fam. And ooh that hunky sorrel with the blaze of white a a couple white socks. I couldn't pass it up.

So we got Jack, and my folks invested in a month of training for him at Les Walker's in Bondurant. Les taught Jack a few things about gait and put him on a tie down. He had a tenancy to rear up. Jack had a great temperament, but he was after all just a baby in horse years. He had energy, and was nothing like Frosty, a good 'ol gal.

Once I got Jack back from the trainer, I had lots of work to do. And I had a brand new barn to do it in. A group of us horsey types invested in a horse condominium on Guttenfelder property. It was a steel building with 6 stalls with outdoor runs and 5 without. Jack had a nice middle one with a run and an electric heated waterer. The best thing was the nice indoor arena with several inches of sand to work out on. There was a nice tack room and a hayloft above the stall area for nice small bales of alfalfa. We kept a manure spreader out back for cleaning out stalls.

I had Jack throughout high school, and he turned out to be a wonderful guy - calm but not boring. He let me slide off his butt, and on hot days I could feed him ice cubes. The outdoor arena at "the barn" as we called the facility was surrounded by fence and we could turn horses out to graze. Sometimes I liked to lay on his back as he grazed - on my stomach with my head on his back. One time when I was in this position, he was startled and began to canter - and when I sat up I was pointing backwards and was in no position to control a 1500 pound horse! I ended up rolling off him onto the ground.

Sal's dad Wayne was a good mentor for me and helped me arrange for shoeing and worming my horses. He helped me figure out what to feed them. Wayne had a nice horse trailer with a changing room on the front. He used it to haul Sal and me to horse shows in southwest Iowa, as well as to the Cass County Fair. Yep I was a 4-Her, forced into baking and doing artsy things in order to show my horse. Our group was named "The Glad Girls of Grove", for Grove Township in Cass County. Hell, at least I wasn't a "Gay Grant Gal".

I was not the most successful horse shower. Jack, though a good horse with good confirmation, was not a typical winner with a nice rocking horse gait. Nope he had a very rough (think Jackhammer) trot and a fast canter that caused me to have to pass people when showing - not a good thing in judge's eyes. Sally's horse Vissy was much more successful, and Jennifer ended up buying an expensive shower later, after her starter horse Drifter.

But I loved it! Hanging out with horse peeps in places like Anita and Audubon. Who could regret meeting people like the Campbell Soup Twins - twin girls from Exira who looked just like that little nerd that used to be on the soup commercials - reddish hair with very short nerdy bangs. And the Souths. Some people were in it for the speed - pole and barrel racing. Sometimes I'd participate in the egg race, fun stuff like that. Horse shows always had the best sloppy joes.

I sold Jack to a local family when I went to college. It was tough, but had to be done, since I wouldn't be around to take care of him. Later he was sold to some family friends and he lived at their farm. I took Paul to meet him once. When Jack was 16, he escaped from his fence and was hit on the highway and killed. So long old friend.

Alfalfa

Me in the only size 2 pants I ever wore with Frosty. That's Wayne in the background.

I walked for over an hour this morning. It was a beautiful day, and towards the end of my route, trotting down Cottonwood I smelled it. Fresh mown alfalfa. Nothing like it! It took me back to my days of owning a horse.

After my wonderful summer at Camp Cheley in Estes Park, CO, my parents gave me a horse for my birthday - a dream come true! I was so fortunate that my buddy Sal had parents (mainly her Dad Wayne) who "did" horses. He agreed to help look for a horse that would be right for a novice like me.

Her name was Frosty, and she was a 10 year old grey mostly quarter horse mare. We bought her from a family in Yale, Iowa. Wayne pulled his trailer up to get her and I rode along, ready to explode the whole way. My own horse!

Back then we all kept our horses (since we lived in town, and my dad was in ladies underwear) at the old Cass County Fairgrounds right off highway 6. To get there you had to take the gravel road right near a small filling station, and at the curve was a building Candace's Dad kept his Frito Lay stock. I'd see him there often, as I went to feed Frosty each evening.

In the mornings I was lucky that a retired guy named Dean agreed to feed Frosty and the Rodgers' horses. Frosty's stall had a small outdoor run, so she could get fresh air during good weather. There was also a ring we could exercise them in and a small field we could turn the horses out in to graze. It was pretty nice!

I learned a lot from Frosty, who could be a grumpy old bitch. Hmmm maybe that's where I got it! She was steady as a rock (and trotted like a jack hammer...). She had a lumpy neck and wasn't a real showy gal. Upon her back I could ride along the beautiful Iowa countryside - where Atlantic Plaza and HyVee are now, down the dirt lane along the Nishna Botna River. Good therapy for a teen girl not happy about growing up.

I also learned a great deal hanging out at the "Barn". There was a guy named Tony who kept horses in a different building who had a beagle who had pups. The dog was nervous about letting a stranger up close to the puppies, so I learned to first sit and just get her used to my presence. As the days went on I crept closer to the cute balls 'o fur, and after a couple weeks I was allowed to touch them.

We also had a barn tomcat I called "Bumps" as his head was truly lumpy, and he had half an ear torn off. Other feral cats lived in the area. I had a great time exploring the old barns - one time Sal and I forced our way into what had been the Fair Office. It contained old calendars and fair info from a much earlier era. I dug an old liquor bottle out of the dirt floor in our barn. And I was lucky that my saddle wasn't stolen when the others were taken from our tack room. Mine had been at the saddle shop being repaired.

I learned how much personality each horse has, and how they make such friendships with each other. I had Frosty a couple years and her former family contacted us - they wanted her back! But they had a nice 3 year old gelding they thought I might like. I burst into tears at the thought of losing Frosty, but I sure wanted a new challenge, a true registered quarter horse. More about Jack next...

OFH

I walked downtown to breakfast this a.m. Started at 5:30 a.m. while it was quite dark out on the west edge of town on Adams Street. I wore my hat light so cars could see my little self on the dark road. I must have confused one driver who clicked his/her brights at me.

I met my homegirls - D, Deb, Patti, Pat, Bobbie, Nan and Lucy. It was just like the olden days when I was home everyday, except my current lack of a uterus and 1 ovary. Plus a few of the gals are pounds lighter thanks to their participation in Nan's Weight Watchers group. Less of 'em to love!

Conversation at S&K Cafe was lively as usual. In fact at one point, when I referenced that someone was an OFH (Old F'in Hag - as a young girl called me after the Iowa/ISU football game 2 years ago - ISU won!!). The guys at the table next to us overhead the term and began to razz us. It was a funny homey moment. It's stuff like that I would miss greatly if we were to move away. Just the little stuff, though as you know, I don't take my friendships lightly.

Today I'm off to Ottumwa to represent DNR at the grand opening of a household hazardous waste facility. Hope the 2 hour drive goes okay. I've got a good book to listen to, and I'm feeling pretty good. It will be interesting for me as I used to run such a facility. It will feel good to do something productive.

Bits n pieces

Haircut this a.m. thank goodness! I was getting pretty shaggy. Amber, snippest to the stars, or at least to lots of Crestonians (perhaps not 10,000 but close) did the dirty job. She's such a pleasant lass.

Then I was on to the Union County Courthouse, where I used to spend some time in my past life as Prairie SWA director. Saw the sheriff, Angie (who is done at that job Friday - heading to a water works job), and others. Chatted with Sandy the Auditor for the past 10 years or so. Her kid, Spencer was born 2 weeks (and 2 pounds) after Jud. S and I were preggers together at FNB. S is a very nice person and easy to talk with. I'll never forget her story (told during the monthly stuffing of FNB statements) of the Christmas when she and her cousin were told to burn the trash. Evidently the trash and the Christmas presents were on the porch and unfortunately they burned it all! Ashes to ashes. Funny true story.

Anyways, catching up on kids was eye opening. Her oldest is married and stationed in England with the airforce. Second son is Amy's age - he worked a bit with me at the landfill as work-study - nice kid. He's laid off from Pepsi and is considering going to DMACC for some type of mechanic study. Then there is Spencer - Jud's age. Didn't graduate HS, presently in the men's reformatory at Anamosa.

I bitch and worry about the Goldy kids, but I can't imagine what that fam has been thru. He fell in with the wrong crowd - didn't fit in. He was born huge and has been well over 6 ft. tall since he was 12 years old. That tends to separate a person from their peers at that age! Sandy has not been to see him yet - a painful subject I could tell. I hope and pray things turn out okay for Spencer and his family.

How I'm off to T's to sit by the pool. No swimming for me due to surgery but I'll dangle a footsy.

Just 1 week

after my prep for surgery day, I'm nearly back to kicking ass and taking names! I truly feel better each day. Just one week ago I had to observe while my friends ate breakfast, as I was on my colon cleanse day. Yep, it was Jello and chix broth for me. I had to make an emergency run to Fareway for Popsicles and suckers, just for fun.

After "lunch" I began my attempt to drink the sodium stuff (lemon) that was to do the trick. It was only 12 ounces, and it was chilled and on ice. But I am not a big drinker anyway - and this stuff went down like cough syrup. As the day went on, I was beginning to think it hadn't worked.

Thank God for Nancy A and her breakfast story of her pre-surgery experience. She said while throwing a ball for the dog she suffered a "shart". What? We all pondered. She went on to explain that she thought she would just pass a little gas (after drinking the magic potion) and much to her dismay a foul liquid ran down her leg! Thank God she's a nurse and I'm sure she dealt with it as a professional! WTF!

So later last Monday night, I was in the bathtub, thinking perhaps I'd have to choke down the last couple ounces of the "stuff" that I had stashed in the frig. When I felt some gas bubbling through my abdomen. Light bulb moment. I could just try to pass the gas, but hey, what if I'm like Nancy. Oh damn - good thing I heard that story or I may have taken a nice shit bath. Ugh!

For the next hour or so I was a frequent flier on our potty.

Then came surgery. When I regained consciousness, I realized I was hungry and I began eating. And waiting for my sleeping bowels to wake up. For the first day and a half, there was no activity - not so much as a small fart (I hate that word and if you ask me it's grosser than the other F word, but it is descriptive). I much prefer Robbie Dob's term "fluff". Or our childhood term "putton".

I was starting to worry that the Doc had screwed something up. I was feeling painfully distended by food and gas at that point, and what if there was no longer a legitimate outlet? Sounds painful! Then, Wednesday night gas began finally making it's way through my colon. It took until Friday morning to produce a "nice BM" whereupon I texted my husband saying "Poop Happens!" I'm sure he was overjoyed and it made his morning at work.

Since then things have gone swimmingly! In fact my colon is very active - could it be the lower left side pains I've suffered lately were the result of my colon and the ovarian cyst? Hmmm one does wonder. For now, I'll enjoy the newfound colon motility. And now you know more about my body than you ever wanted to - but I wanted ya'll to know this shit (stuff) in case you ever undergo surgery.

Loneliness

Everybody needs buddies. But buddies can't be magically summoned from thin air. They take nurturing, just like a little plant from a seed. Sure, full grown plants are nice to purchase - all growed up and beautiful, but they can wilt as soon as you get them home, and somehow, even if they bloom they're not quite as satisfying as a beautiful flower you grew from a seed.

Aww what a gooey sweet analogy. But it works. I'm funny about friends. I'm definitely not quick to make 'em. I bide my time and let things develop slowly. My longtime friend Robbie Dob (whom I've been friends with from childhood so I didn't have to go thru any awkward making friends stage) makes friends easily and quickly. I recall when we all lived in Omaha, she once made friends with someone she met at the Laundromat, and met that person for drinks later.

I would never do that. I would be more likely to observe that person and their laundry through several weeks, gradually making small talk - seeing if there were any warning signs of psychotic behavior, bi-polar disorder, or drug abuse and the like. If they pass that test, I might suggest something like a coffee date. (assuming of course I pass their muster - and I freely admit I'm not everyone's type)

I've worked at DNR in Des Moines for 7 months now, and I'm finally getting to the point that I can get beyond the basic chat with a couple co-workers who seem like friend material. Yep, I'm slow that way. I guess that way I can savor the process. Yep, I've felt lonely at work. A couple of the younger women let me chat with them, but I know I'm not yet one of the group. (will I ever be?) My cubicle can sometimes feel like it's in the middle of the Sahara - a desert devoid of friendly faces.

When I go home (to my home away from home in Waukee) at night I feel alone. Especially when Joanie isn't home. Sometimes I delay going there by shopping or stopping for a meal. Just to be around other people - to hear their conversations and laughter. I have always been one who is pretty comfortable being lonely - I've spent a great deal of time alone. For the first several months that we lived in Osage I traveled each week to Wisconsin, staying in lonely motels. I knew my honey was home alone too then. I'm lucky I love to read books and they've comforted me through many a lonely night, and when I didn't want to face some reality I didn't want to.

The important thing is to realize that we all have people who love us. Even if they aren't with us.

Fiction and religion

Sometimes I don't mind when an author slips a bit of the character's feelings/doubts/thoughts about spirituality into a book. I just don't like "holier than thou" attitudes.

This past couple days I've been catching up on some reading. I picked up a couple "quick reads" at the library. Robert B. Parker is one of my all time faves - he writes the Spenser books, along with Jesse Stone and now Everitt Hitch - Westerns. All the leading characters are pretty much the same guy. And all the books are filled with bits of conversation by men of few words. I read yesterday's offering "Brimstone" a western, in about 4 hours or so, finishing when I couldn't sleep after we went to bed.

Robert B. Parker books don't usually get into religion, but surprisingly, this one did broach the subject. The religious guy turned out to me a schmuck of course, in it for the power and the money. But Parker's lead character did admit that he thought the religious guy actually believed the stuff he was spouting, all while molesting a teenage girl. Jim Bakker anyone? and others...

Today I dug into "Face of Betrayal" by Lis Wiehl. I should have gotten a clue that this would be a very conservative book, as it was reviewed on the cover by Bill O'Reilly. But I must give the author credit. She inserts religion into the various character's lives, but not in an "in your face" way. I'm only about half way through so I hope it doesn't take over!

Today I had breakfast with my homies after running into them on my inaugural post-hysterectomy walk around Lake McKinley with Pablo. Ah I've missed them so! It's amazing how a bit of girl chat can lift one's spirit (speaking of religious experiences). We talked about girl stuff - BMs and sex. And got into the world's problems on which we don't all see eye to eye. But we were able to stay civil, and when conversation got a bit animated, we decided to switch back to BMs. haha! Estrogen trumps politics!