Rights of Passage - Are They Calling Me Elderly?

All through our lives, there are numerical ages we look forward to - and other ages, not so much.

Me with Robyn - at a chatty young age. Now we are old and chatty

I couldn't wait to turn five so I could go to school like my sisters! I didn't even care if the teacher, Mrs. Christensen (sp?) was kind of a battle-ax who was OLD. She had even taught my father. I have vague memories of her locking kids in the little bathroom located in our classroom. (Is that true or did is that a made-up memory?) Tommy Sandhorst peed all around the tile clock on the floor. Dan Mason, Robyn and I chatted during naptime and got in trouble.

Amy with Mom and Dad - a little younger than 10? 

Age ten was cool! Double digits. Our daughter Amy didn't want to turn ten...even then aware that aging has a downside. I remember my parents teasing her that she'd be 9 forever and the rest of us would go on aging. Years later, Mom said, she would introduce her - "this is Amy, she is still 9 years old". That got her attention and she got on board with turning 10. Presents and cake helped too.

Most kids in Iowa love turning 14 - the age one can get a driver's learner permit. My dad was in charge of my driver training at our house. Remember manual transmissions? If you are from Atlantic you know the hill by the old YMCA with a stop sign. Me, Dave Bullock, a Chevy Vega, and that hill ended up with tears. Me, not Dad. He likely ended up with a few Gdammits. The friction point on that clutch was about a millimeter. Later when our kids learned how to drive, I knew it was the daddy's job to teach them. #noclutch

202 Crombie - the house I grew up in - I'd sit on the step and wait for friends to pick me up

At sixteen, most of us are excited about getting a real driver's license. Back in our day, there was no graduated license. Cigarette smoke (not mine), no seatbelts, radio cranked with girls packed in singing at the top of our lungs "scooping the loop" over and over. My friends had some cool cars - Joanie Troll - was it a Chevelle? Green. Robyn in her push-button transmission Plymouth Valiant. Sal had a sweet Merc. Candice, Kristi Davis, and others had memorable wheels. I was lucky to get to drive my Grandpa's 1971 baby blue VW while Momo and Bubba (our names for them) wintered in Florida. Otherwise, it was a 1972 bronze Buick station wagon courtesy of Dandy Don Deter's dealership. 

Yep, sixteen was sweet! It was nice when our children turned 16 and could drive themselves to athletic practices and other places around town. Jud was not as excited about it as Amy, who was fearless - ready to drive to Des Moines and everything. They didn't get cool classic cars. Amy first got a used small truck with tobacco spit stains on the door as the previous owner couldn't be bothered to spit all the way out of the door. Jud got the Higgins family's beloved "Novacaine", an old Chevy Nova. No, not the cool classic Nova - the tiny wimpy version that we couldn't ever get started - even when we plugged it in during the winter months. Today it's hard to tell most cars and SUVs apart. They all look alike.

Jud HS graduation with Kim McFee - best buddies when little, then he figured out she was a girl

Eighteen is a big deal - high school graduation, voting and other mostly cool stuff. In 1976, we could even legally drink at age 18. I did wait until I was done with sports. It made life easier - so much less sneaking around to get liquor. It wasn't a healthy relationship - too much drinking and driving back then. Many of today's generation are better informed about driving impaired - and they have more alternatives. Observing college-age kids with a drinking-age of 21, my opinion is that 21 is too old. I'd rather have young people drinking in bars instead of sneaking around drinking at parties. Eighteen is too young - but I'd like to consider 19.

College roomies - around age 20 

After 18? The big ones are the centuries. I was still at ISU at age 20 - that was a fun one! I was a busy mom at age thirty - it flew by. When I turned forty, a pretend casket appeared on my porch. I lost my mom that year to lung cancer - nobody is ever ready to be motherless. During my forties, I forged a closer relationship with Dad, which I cherish. 

Turning fifty was fun! My 11/4 birthday was on an ISU football gameday. Jeff McFee (11/3 birthday) and our usual tailgating clan had a ball that day. During my fifties Paul and I became "empty nesters). We love it and having adult children. I will only admit to a few nostalgic tears during Amy and Jud's milestones. Never mind that blubberfest during Amy/Paul's dance at her wedding to End of the Innocence, when Jud called to tell me he was asking Kara to marry him, and when Corey asked us about marrying Amy. I held up pretty well when dropping kids off for kindergarten, college, and graduations.

Family Shot - hey doesn't everyone do this? 

Our kids came to WDM to surprise me when I turned sixty. That was fun. Being in my sixties is rather a shock! How did this happen? Sixty has not been a milestone I looked forward to - like "hey, we qualify for senior stuff now - woohoo!". Who knew there would be a pandemic and we would get special treatment (no thanks to the virus for especially picking on oldsters).

This morning I went to Costco's special "Twice Weekly Senior Hour" to help meet shopping needs. Typical of oldsters, there was a line - even before the appointed hour of 8 a.m. Did I mention Iowa has a lot of 60+ people? I lined and tried to maintain social distancing - giving the "stink eye" to the lady behind me who was encroaching. Many people in line were not following those rules despite Costco signs explaining Social Distancing. Ugh! It's not that hard people. When I got to the entrance point, I waited for the door guard to say, "Hey, no way you are in your 60's, Imposter!" Alas, nobody has called me out yet.

Line at Costco

I was brave and purchased Corona beer for Paul. The checkout guys said the price has gone up, wondering if the increase is due to the number of idiotic people that believe the beer caused the virus. #hitbythedumbstick Yes, they had TP, but I'm on a search for antiseptic wipes and gel. Nobody has those. So I got wine too. I don't know why. I have barely imbibed alcohol since my February illness. Maybe I'll figure out a way to make our own gel. I got one of their excellent roasted chickens and a few other food items.

Meanwhile, life goes on for all of us. My heart goes out to those who have lost family and friends to this scary virus. Life today causes anxiety for all - especially those who struggle with mental health issues in the best of times. Send them some extra love.

A few of my friends are considered essential workers and others are in jobs that have no alternative besides going. Thinking of you all! It's stressful trying to keep hands washed, try not to touch your face and distance. Keep sharing good stories, important information and communicating. We are in this together y'all!

Leslie learns to Video Chat

Let me be clear - I am not a techie. I only do this stuff when necessary. We purchased our first personal computer (PC) back around 1994 - when our children were little. I'd worked on one at my job at Cornerstone Financial, Mike Moffit's business in Creston. I was fascinated with the PC Mike had at the office. Paul and I soon signed on the dotted line at Best Buy for a very expensive zero-interest loan for our very own PC. Amy and Jud have fond memories of that first computer - Oregon Trail and other games.

I've been the family tech person ever since that first computer. Gulp! Too bad techie stuff doesn't come a little easier to me. I'd give myself a D on tech knowledge with an A for effort! I keep grinding away until I get it. Then it's one of those head knocks like, "duh, it was right there all the time!"

I'm not an early adopter. Change is hard, ya know. Once I learn something, I prefer to just do it that way until forced to change - stuff like upgrades, or insistent children. Covid 19 is causing changes in all of our lives. I'm looking for some of the good changes.

I know many friends who have grandchildren who have been using video chat for years - mostly FaceTime. Getting to see the little ones grow and change is so great for them. Much better than the slightly out of focus photos I'd send to my parents who wintered in Florida, and to Paul's folks at their Earlville home.

Isolated in our homes, my friends, family, Paul and I began to look for ways to feel more connected. We miss our peeps! I've discovered there are many different chat and meeting type Softwares to use, and I've begun bumbling my way through them - with a little help from others! Here are a few.

I have a Zoom business meeting tomorrow with another party - they set it up. I am in the process of setting up a part-time consulting business (yes, I can't get away from trash). I need to do a remote meeting for my business, so I decided to look into Zoom - the limited version is free. When I told a couple girlfriends, they said - check out how to use it with us! So we did!

I'm still figuring it out - how to manage the screen - and who sees what on the screen. For the other participants - I think they only saw who was talking. Last night, six of us "Zoomed" for Robyn's birthday (she's now 62 like all of us except youngster Sal) - all wearing the jammie tops she bought us for our Florida trip. We sang, laughed and watched Sally cook dinner. We got to see Sal and Pam's dogs. Paula thoughtfully presented a pretend cake. She and I are really missing having dogs right now. Her pup Sammie passed a year before Odie. Julia's beautiful daughter stopped by to wave "hi". Chris couldn't attend as her baby boy was flying into Phoenix. The birthday girl was in her glory!

Last weekend, we talked to our kids (Saturday - Amy/Corey, Sunday Kara/Jud) via Google Hangouts. They each set it up, and sent me an invite via email - all I had to do was click on it.  I looked at that program yesterday - it says you don't have to have Gmail but I had put a couple non-Gmail addresses in an invite and they disappeared....so I need more info on that. It may be the addresses they supplied have a block?

Kara had tried to Facetime us on Sunday but it turned out I didn't have Facetime enabled on my phone. Oops. That is now fixed - so next time! We don't have any other Apple products besides my iPhone, so - no iPad to see bigger pics, so this would probably be lower on my list of things to use. We got to see the Goldsmith doggos too and could hear Franklin shaking his ears out. Next time we're going to do a group call with all six of us - maybe we can get Cindo in there too!

I have an older HP laptop - and must admit I've had a piece of masking tape over the camera lens for years after the "your computer is spying on you" stories. I've peeled that tape off now (during calls #paranoid)! The HP camera is not the sharpest - which is kind of nice, like older actors and actresses having that filter to smooth out wrinkles. Last night, I had all six participants' little pictures stretched out on my screen like the Brady Bunch. Just thinking about it now makes me smile. I need to set up some more groups! College pals, sisters, Cyclone tailgating people, Creston homies, Paul's family - the list goes on!

If you are not already using video chat systems - try it! Just don't ask me how - haha.

Life's Rythyms

Old photo of our family - my heart

I was just getting used to my new "retired" normal. Ever-busy Paul is building furniture for our walk-in closet. He's only had a purchase a few new tools! He and I painted the closet this week and he put the shelves back up and we sorted through clothing as we re-stocked, weeding out stuff for donation. Suddenly I don't need as many work clothes. I'm doing a jigsaw puzzle and am beginning paperwork for a consulting business I plan to start - working with trash people of course.

Now, due to forces beyond your control, many are forced into life inside your living space. I can't imagine what you are going through - your "new normal". Some of our relatives and friends live in New York, Illinois, and California. Those states have even more strict rules about what they can and can't do. We in Iowa are "sheltering in place". Schools are closed. Bars and restaurants are closed to inside customers. Iowa received as many unemployment claims yesterday as they usually do in a bad month. Many people are now working from home for the first time. It's hard to isolate like that.

I'm stuck with this guy - my fave person

We're all coming up with a new normal. So far we don't know how long. If you are like me, you are still running everything through an "adjuster". When my eyes pop open on a new day, I am filled with gratitude. Then I begin to plot out my day - not remembering the Covid 19 normal. Then I adjust. Reality check!

As I said - as 2 retired people, this does not impact us nearly as much as those who have lost jobs, had to change their work method, small business owners trying to adjust to what this means to their livelihoods. I think about those who remain working on the front line - medical staffers to people working in places that need to remain open so all of us can live. We need our toilet paper!

There are special people - those who we cherish who may be more susceptible to this virus that I pray for. Our older (Aunt Marty says she's NOT elderly at age 87) friends and relatives. Some live in Independent and other types of care facilities that are being very careful about allowing personal access by friends and relatives. Smart! But very difficult at a time when we are fearful. The last thing we want is for these loved ones to be isolated and feel alone.

I've confessed before about my phone phobia. I don't know where it came from, but email and texting have allowed me to be even more of a phone introvert. Well, folks, Covid 19 is busting me out! I've resolved to talk to more people as we are all sidelined. I know, it's kinda selfish too. I'm pretending it's for them. Just wait - after this, I'll be one of those people with a Bluetooth earjack talking to people while I make my way through stores and on hikes! haha

Next - I'm going to try Facetime! I know - all you grandparents already know how to do that. Our kids' dogs haven't requested it. Does this mean I have to actually look decent? Ugh. I also have a couple meetings scheduled through Zoom - another video chat meeting. This virus will change us in permanent ways - I hope we'll find that some are good. Less travel, more technology will cut down travel. I know, in person can be best. But not always.

Last night we ordered delivery pizza from a local place. We'd plan to continue to support restaurants - as we want them to be around after this. Des Moines has always been a great place for local restaurants and we love that about our town. We have decided to increase our normal tips to help those workers get through this too. If you have any other ideas of ways you are helping small businesses get through this - feel free to chime in!

Call, text or check in on someone you know that you haven't spoken or texted for a while. As Mr. Rogers told us to look for the helpers. Even remotely, you can be a helper!

The Somewhat Calm Before...

In such a short time, how our world has changed. Just last week, Paul and I were on vacation in Breckenridge, Colorado with four couples - college friends. We knew Covid 19 was spreading, but only a couple cases had popped up in Colorado. We took along hand sanitizer and washed our hands frequently. As we left Colorado last Saturday, we received notice that we should self-quarantine as several more cases of the virus had appeared in the resort area during the week.

Now we are laying low at home - venturing out for essentials. Just like many of you! So I'm writing this blog, filling time - and I'm waiting for my next turn at painting our walk-in closet. Paul is taking out shelving right now. Such fun!

The trip seems so long ago already! We drove out to Denver on Friday, March, 6 - handwashing and elbow door opening our way across Nebraska. Destination - Amy and Corey's place! We hadn't seen them since Thanksgiving. So it was great to get together at their place near downtown Denver. The weather was fabulous - upper 60's and sunny. I got a dog fix - hanging with the kiddos' pups Franklin and Eros.

Aunt Marty and me

Amy and Corey had a friend's baby shower to attend on Saturday and we took the opportunity to visit my Aunt Marty (she says she's 87 years old but is not elderly) and my cousin Amy Brownlee and husband Tom. We love catching up with them, hearing about their family and great trip to Hawaii just after Christmas.

After that, we headed back to the Park place. Paul and I enjoy walking in Amy and Corey's neighborhood - a mix of new development and quaint updated older homes, with restaurants and some retail within walking distance. We had lunch at a place called Root Down where I had the best Eggs Benedict ever. That afternoon we joined at Kansas State pal of Amy's at an Iowa State bar near the Coors Field to watch KSU blast Iowa State in Men's basketball. Great Cyclone crowd and the bar owner was fun to talk to - helping take away the sting of an awful hoops season. That night it was Chinese takeout, just enjoying our time with our kids.

Post brunch pic with Jordan and Jill

On Sunday we met my niece Jordan and wife Jill for brunch. So nice to see them! They recently went to Lake Chapala, Mexico to visit my sis Susi and husband Jim as that is where they winter. Visiting Denver affords us a great opportunity to see so many loved ones.

Our college pals arrived mid-afternoon Sunday. Moose and Kay drove from the Chicago area and picked up Vicki and Fred at the airport. It was nice they got to spend some time with Amy and especially Corey as they'd never really been around him except for their wedding - which didn't allow for much quality time. We went to a place called Milk Market - many vendors under one roof.

Milk Market grub

On Monday we headed up the big hill to Breckenridge - checking into a nice "ski-in" condo that Fred found. Two more couples - Tom and Shirley and Mike and Paula (from Paul's side of the college friend tree) had reserved their own condo - and it was just around the corner from ours!

A few of the skiers

The birthday girl had a sash! 

Did I mention this is the 40th anniversary of a spring break trip to Breckenridge? It was my senior year of college - 1980. Paul, Vicki, Fred, Mike, and Tom were there as we packed into a huge condo along with about 15 other people. It was a blast! This time we were a bit more sedate! And I haven't skied for close to 20 years, so it wasn't on my list of things to do. Paul and some others skied 3 days - and we heard a bit about everyone's aches and pains (even from me - a non-skier haha).

We had a ball! Just hanging out with this gang is fun. In our condo is the group that went to Alaska together last summer - good memories there. It was Paula's birthday on Wednesday so we went to their place for a big party (lasted until 9 PM) that night. Did I mention how nice it is to be with friends we've known for 40 plus years? Tom and Shirley live in New York, Mike and Paula near LaCrosse, Wisconsin, Moose and Kay live just north of Chicago and Vicki and Fred live south of the Twin Cities in Minnesota. Yep, we're the only Iowans.

Breckenridge Distillery

Up to Peak 9

During the week, we visited a distillery, shopped, and rode up the Gondola. On Thursday we all met at a barbecue in downtown Breckenridge. On Friday the whole group drove up to Vail to visit my sister Cindy and eat at my nephew Colby's restaurant, El Sabor in Lion's Head. Vicki has known Cindo since spring break our Freshman year when we slept on her fold-out bed and skied Vail. We reminisced about that trip on Friday - what knuckleheads we were - dragging out hanging clothes, for a ski trip, riding on shuttles. Did we think we'd be going to discos? Vic and I skied every spring break when we were in college.

Delish lunch with friends at El Sabor - Colby treated us right

Paul and I were excited to stay at Cindy's Friday night - since we missed our usual Christmas get-together due to health issues. That night we went to our friends Bonnie and Eric's for supper - just like Christmas without the prime rib! Bonnie did make a yummy shrimp salad. I had fun playing catch with their dog Dodger. It was nice to catch up with them. Their son Byron is getting married this summer...just the other day he was a high school senior..haha. On Saturday, Vail shut down the mountain - including food service that Eric is in charge of. Now Colby's restaurant is closed too - after that, Iowa followed, shutting schools and eat in restaurants. 

Dodger wants to play fetch!

Our trip home Saturday was uneventful. Now, just like you - we are living in a different world, praying for good health for all. And for our medical professionals. Our April Florida trip is canceled and a sister trip to France planned for May is not likely to take place. Not really that important compared to health and people's livelihoods. Still, disappointing. The uncertainty is the worst part - will it be weeks, months? Will we all end up getting it? Nobody knows.

Sending good thoughts and karma to all. Cherishing my time with family and friends. Will try to stay in touch in all the ways I can. I hope you will too. We need each other!