Post Doc

My Doc (in this case beloved Nurse Practitioner) retired. Congratulations to her! What a wonderful care provider.

Sheryl Young wasn't just my care provider - she's a friend! I'll miss catching up with her on her family during my healthcare visits. I've known the Young family for many years - back before Sheryl went back to school to become an ARNP, MSN. Then they moved away from Creston. We were lucky to catch up with her when we moved to Des Moines. Sheryl always asked about my family as she cared for my health. She knew they are a key to my well-being! I hope Sheryl and Bob enjoy retirement. They've earned it.

I've been spoiled. Before we moved to Des Moines, I knew my previous healthcare providers well too. When you go to a doc in a small town, it's hard not to! It's not like we hung out, but Dr. Chuck Hoyt treated our whole family for years. He moved back to town just after Jud was born. Paul traveled back to Creston for his physical with Chuck this year. Word has it, Dr. Hoyt will retire soon too. He too has put in some time in the trenches.

Growing up in Atlantic, I had one doctor through age 18 - Dwain Wilcox. He was a kind, serious man who watched over the Bullock family. In fact, he brought several of us into this world. His own daughter Tressa eventually became an Atlantic doc.

Dr. Wilcox even made housecalls. I don't know why Mom made the formal living room into the examination/shot room. Sometimes on Saturday nights, he could be found at our house playing poker, smoking and drinking with my folks and other friends. Yep, smalltown Iowa. That was the way I grew up.

I've come to the time in life when I must search for a new doc. And gulp...this one will be younger than I am. Sheryl's clinic was on the SE side of Des Moines. It was convenient for work visits, but not for those times I was sick at home.

It was one of those times I had to adult and find me a new doc. After doing some research, I selected a UnityPoint closer to home. There is a woman doc in her 40's - undergrad at ISU. Plus plenty of PAs. It takes a long time to build a relationship with a healthcare provider. I won't likely see them at poker club or at high school football games or riding their motorcycle like I did Chuck Hoyt. Those days are over. I'm fortunate Des Moines has many healthcare choices. Where nobody knows me. I guess at 60 it's time to grow up!

Biking the mountains of NE Iowa

I know, Iowa has no mountains. Tell that to my thighs.

A couple months ago, Paul helped organize a work event that ended up with a reception at Peace Tree, an East Village brewpub we enjoy. Present and former USDA co-workers gathered, along with a few DNR folks. Somehow the two groups, one federal and one state, seem to be drawn to each other. They do have a shared mission in reducing soil loss and often work closely with each other on this issue.

What views! 

That's when the idea of kayaking in NE Iowa came up. A DNR buddy, Becky Ohrtman volunteered to set up a trip. She used to work close to me on the 5th floor of the Wallace Building. After Becky moved to another floor, I lost track of her. I was happy to hear she was able to transfer to the Manchester Field Office a couple years ago - which is great for Becky and fiance Mike, another DNR employee who is based there. They had been doing the long-distance thing for many years.

We settled on this weekend for the trip. Mom Nature didn't cooperate. With all the rain, rivers are dangerously high for boating. We're a versatile group and decided to bike instead!

The mysterious Becky - camera shy? 

We arrived in Decorah on Friday and grabbed lunch at a sports bar. The group was: Mike, Becky, Duane, Bob, Jody, Paul and me. I didn't choose my lunch wisely. The Ruben and beer haunted me later. (peddling gut bomb) One of our group rented a recumbent bike for the ride. While we waited for everyone to group up to take off on the bike path, Rick's tire blew up! It sounded like a firecracker. Good thing it was there - not on a hill. #wipeout.

I knew it would be hilly, woo baby. Good thing Albie (my beloved bike) has that first gear I never need to use in Des Moines. Going downhill is kinda scary too! Switchbacks and steep hills.

Checking out trout

Fish Hatchery spring

Rick and Bob at Pulpit Rock Brewery - met up with a former co-worker

We stopped at the Decorah Fish Hatchery - newly renamed after former DNR director Chuck Gipp, who is from this area. Congratulations to Chuck, who spent many years living away from his family while serving as a legislator, then at the Department of Agriculture and finally as DNR director. There is a beautiful freshwater spring feeding this hatchery. Paul loved talking to Mike, who supervises this and other hatcheries.

The bike trail goes right by the site of the famous Eagle Cam. Without a good zoom, I didn't get a great shot but saw the eagle sitting on a branch. See if you can see it. People come from all over the world to see the nest.

Decorah is a beautiful little town. Hotels are expensive - at least during this time of year. $200 a night. Yikes! After biking 11+ miles we stopped at a local brewery called Pulpit Rock. We ran out of time to visit the more famous Toppling Goliath Brewery. That night we dined at the restored Winneshiek Hotel. Six of us wandered downtown afterward - a late night for this old girl. Thanks to the group for organizing the trip. What a great time!

Need a footstool? 

Paul and I headed back to Des Moines Saturday. One of my favorite events is happening now - The Art Festival! We visited the downtown event on a beautiful Saturday evening. Local brews, the Brazilian Twins and energized music, and art from all over the country. Loved running into our niece Barb and husband Mike - nice catching up. I saw many other posts from people we missed seeing downtown. People watching is my hobby.

The Art festival is perfection! I hope to get a bike ride in today to warm up the sore leg muscles. Weekends go by so quickly! I hope you all are enjoying life wherever you are.


More Art photos.

Wood vessels

Artists in Action

Happy Father's Day Dave Bullfrog!

I don't have any memories of my father actually in a pool - only these pics

Did you really know your dad when you were a kid? Back when Baby Boomers grew up, dads weren't expected to spend a lot of quality time with the cherubs. The rules were different in the 1960's and 1970's. Most dads weren't involved in all of their children's everyday lives - especially when they're girls. They brought home the bacon.

Mom and Dad were very social - Poker Club, supper clubs - such a handsome guy

My dad worked hard to support us by traveling throughout Iowa Monday through Friday. He was a sales representative for Lorraine Lingerie. Fun guy that he was, he'd say he was "in lady's underwear". Ha! This actually included panties, slips, and silky pajamas. Nice stuff, some of it manufactured locally in Bedford and Leon, Iowa. Those plants are now closed.

Dad lived out of a suitcase. He had nice suits that he purchased at Reichardt's Clothing in Des Moines. He left a weekly schedule by the phone. It included town and hotel. No mobile phones back then. If you recall the era, small towns were still commerce centers. They had small department stores that "had it all", including lingerie. Dad had his routes throughout the state. He knew which little restaurants had good pie. He loved Gooseberry. He enjoyed beets and liver and onions - Ick.

Dave Bullock traveled the state of Iowa (and a little bit of South Dakota) in first Buicks and then Cadillacs supplied by Deter Motors. He put 60,000 plus on his cars each year, so he'd trade cars annually. Even Caddies didn't come with a center console back then - so he had Eddie the Cobbler make him a leatherette covered armrest that opened. There he kept his Tareyton cigarettes, Binaca (breath freshener) and Dentyne gum. Salesmen are worried about breath! Dad was a great driver and was only in one accident his whole life - a hit and run in Fort Dodge, not his fault.

Dad used to buy funny toys from his customers bring back to us from his trips. Key the Mom eye-roll. Things like chattering teeth and wind-up barking dogs. When the older three kids grew up, and Betsy was at loose-ends, Mom talked Dad into taking Betsy on his route to South Dakota. Oh, how the buyers loved that little girl! Forgive me Betso if I fail to get the story right. She needed help with her hair, and they'd go to one store so she could get a comb-out from a client. Dad bought Mexican-Jumping Beans (which are really live worms in beans). They couldn't figure out what was rattling in the back window....then they left them in the sun too long, and they fried. Sorry worms!

Grillmeister - note white shoes

I wish I had more memories of spending time with my Daddy when I was a child. We watched family TV shows together Walt Disney and Bonanza. He'd torment us by saying Lassie wasn't going to make it this time. Crying ensued. Mom would yell. Dad liked to take us to Dairy Queen, and we'd take our dog Jud (hey, it's a family name - my son is not...just... named after a dog) and he'd (Jud) get a vanilla cup of ice cream. Dad was the grillmeister. Nearly every weekend he'd sizzle up something delicious - rotisserie chicken, steak, pork roast marinated with mustard/grape jelly.

Dad liked to play golf and pitch at the Country Club. He tried to teach me how to play golf...fail! Susi and Cindy turned out pretty good though. He did teach me how to drive a clutch car, but it wasn't pretty. That corner by the YMCA was a bitch!

Dad was a people guy. He had a lot of friends and continued to make them all through his life. I think that's why he was such a great salesman. He was a snazzy dresser too. The poor guy got criticized a lot by teen daughters later in life."Not the white belt Dad!".

At our first house with the Alvillar girls

I had the opportunity to get to know Dad better in my adult years. Paul and I were very thankful that Mom and Dad paid for flights to visit them in Marco Island, Florida. As young parents buying a house, we wouldn't have been able to visit otherwise. Dad loved showing us their second home. Later, after the kids were born, he'd take the kids down to the beach, tossing popcorn in the air for the gulls. Their interaction was priceless.

With the Kohan boys

After Mom died in 1997, we were all stunned. Mom was a strong woman - the "director" of the family. We had to establish a new order - new communications. We took the opportunity to get to know each other better. It was a busy time as I was in the midst of raising kids. Looking back, I wish I would have taken more time to spend with Dad. But, in the moment...kid duty calls.

Mom and Dad's condo in Atlantic - Paul and I have on sweathers, kids, shorts? 

We got to spend some quality time with Dad and his friend Kay in the last years of his life. He enjoyed her family and ours. Dad was very proud of his ten grandchildren. Somewhere he's watching from afar, sipping a cocktail with his buddies Dandy Don, Eddie Freese, Fritz, and more. They're smiling. Cheers Dave Bullfrog!

Why didn't I get his skinny legs? 

Finding A Backbone - Confessions of a Childhood Bully

I've reconnected with a childhood friend on Facebook. It's amazing that this person ever wanted to have anything to do with me again. You see, I was part of "The Clique". That mob of girls who mowed their way through the puberty years - picking on others. Today we call it bullying.

We went from being a group of sweet young things, attending each other's birthday parties - playing pin the tail on the donkey. The next thing you know we were looking for ways to be critical. Things we talked about:
-Her Mom served dried out hamburgers
-She has to drag her little sister around all the time
-Their house has a strange smell
-Did you see her outfit?
-Let's not ask her to the movie
Can you believe how ridiculous these things are?

We held huge "slumber" parties where nobody slept and girls separated into groups. I tried hard to use my sense of humor to stay out of the fray, but I was no innocent bystander. A couple of girls got the brunt of the bullying. I don't know why they were isolated, not invited, and were chosen for vicious crank calls.

I was somewhat oblivious at that time in my life. I wasn't the empathetic soul that our daughter was from a young age. I developed that later in life.

Eventually,

Washington Elementary

we got "talked to" about our behavior. Our Washington Elementary teachers separated us out for a "meeting" We were told us this behavior wasn't acceptable. I don't think it helped - the damage was done. Once we went off to Junior High - and three schools came together, the clique broke up. It seems that's when we broke up into smaller friend groups. 

Looking back, I knew what we were doing was wrong. Even though I wasn't the main "instigator", I went along with it. I didn't speak up and say, "this isn't right - stop it!" I was weak. I didn't want to be next.

It wasn't until I had my own children that this part of my life came hurtling back to me. I found my voice. I began speaking up to point out things I believed were wrong. I wrote letters to the editor of the Creston News Advertiser - pointing out that the Creston Pantherette nickname was outdated. The female athletes should be proudly called Panthers just like the boys. I wrote a letter to the Atlantic News Telegraph, chastising the school staff there for allowing outrageous derogatory chants towards Creston's student-athletes. I also used my voice as a parent. I realized I no longer believed in the planks of the Republican party and switched to the Democratic party as the values supporting women's rights, LGBT, and a more progressive tax structure. Make no mistake though...my Republican roots are still in there.

I told my daughter about my experience growing up. I explained that I was part of a group that bullied girls. That it is big regret in my life. I don't know if I told Jud - he wasn't into listening to Mom's childhood stories back then. (He pretends better now).

Growing up isn't easy even when you're not being bullied. Even the most popular, most athletic, musical, smart, talented kids have issues. Everyone is insecure, Especially the ones who act super confident. What is it that makes us pick on others to lift us up? There must be another way for all of us to feel better about ourselves.

I've apologized to the person I wronged all those years ago. She graciously accepted. If there are others out there, I apologize to you too.

I try not to get too wrapped up in politics on Facebook. To me, it's a place to keep up with family and vacations, food etc. Sometimes, because we live who we are, politics and beliefs slip in.

I will keep using my voice when I just can't keep quiet. Others won't always agree with me. That's okay. What would this world be if we were all the same?   

Puppy fix Part 2, Oh...Kids Too

It's been a great stretch since Memorial Weekend. We got to see Amy and Corey in Denver as I blogged about earlier. Amy then came to Des Moines for fun/work. This weekend Jud and Kara traveled to Des Moines. During this time I got to see not only them - but their dogs. I love my kids and I love dogs. Missing my Odie. 

Amy traveled to Des Moines the week after Memorial Weekend for work and play. Her friend Jenna is getting married later this summer and the girls were getting together for the bachelorette party. She flew in on a Wednesday night and met with clients of her graphic design business in the following days. As she always tries to do, Amy trekked south to Creston to visit longtime pal Stormy Thursday night. In between appointments and meetings we had time to talk - really talk. That's my favorite time with our children. Getting beyond the top-level stuff, hearing about their real lives.

Long ago pic of the trio

Amy had a fab time with her girlfriends, celebrating their friendship in Galena, Illinois. Galenda is a beautiful place to visit. They sampled some wine and laughed about old times and times to come. Jenna, Amy and their other mate Rachelle were friends and college roomies. They have a great bond. Amy arrived home from Galena Sunday afternoon and we got to keep her around one more day until her flight Monday evening.

Amy met me at Ceviche Bar, the Cuban place in the East Village for lunch Monday. The Cubano sannies were delish. It's times like this that I wish our kids lived closer. Lunch on Monday? Sure! We take it when we can get it. That night Amy was winging her way home to her honey in Denver.

Friday, Kara and Jud drove north from Saint Louis (with pups Archie and Henry in tow). Tag! They were it. We took them out to Global Brew in Waukee for a beer then got barbecue takeout. Jud and Kara got up early Saturday - we hit the Farmer's Market before the crowds. It was a big weekend in town - golf tourney, Gay Pride and wine festivals. We ate at the grilled cheese place and bought delicious fresh strawberries. Next stop - Raygun for t-shirts.

Jud, Kara and friends

That afternoon, college friends stopped by before heading to their longtime pal Miranda's wedding at Lutheran Church of Hope, right by our house. Paul and I were in charge of the pups, proudly taking them for a jaunt around the park.

We heard Jud and Kara come in around 2 a.m. (Thanks Uber). After a morning casserole brunch, we sat around chatting, catching up on their friends. Many of them used to tailgate with us during their ISU days. Quality time! Love it.

The good news? All four will be here this summer for more weddings. Our nephew Alex is getting married in Washington state in August and we'll all be there. We may not live close to each other, but we'll make time for each other. Yes. 



  

Your own toughest critic?

Our recent trip across Nebraska allowed me some "deep thought" time. Sure, I talked Paul into listening to a book with me. It was "Crime Song" by David Swinson. The main character is a coke (the drug, not the soda), addicted private investigator.

Listening to the book didn't lend itself to thinking time. It did help get into the mind of an addict though. The author does a great job of revealing the main character's thought train. He's a good guy, but first and foremost in his life is securing his next high. Life is complex. When you add in that layer, boy. I'm not sure how addicts do it. You can see how their lives quickly swirl towards disaster. Living hell comes to mind. I hope Congress - state and federal continues to work on this issue. 

When we weren't listening to the book I thought about a recent article I read in the NY Times. "Why You Should Stop Being So Hard On Yourself". It was a good read for me because I am guilty of that. (See, I am hard on myself).

Is that a good thing? Or bad. A little of both. Not being satisfied helps you strive for more, better. But constant self-derision is no good. 

I beat myself up (mentally) when I make mistakes at work. Yet I easily forgive others - after all, they're only human. Daughter Amy and I had a conversation about work mistakes last weekend. She depends on herself to proof everything because she is a one-person graphic design shop. Yes, she does require clients to "sign off" on projects, but even then, when mistakes are discovered after printing - she feels awful.

I reminded Amy that people are human. It's a good goal but is not logical to expect 100% perfection all the time. Amy works by herself. She doesn't have human peers - only her canine buddies, Franklin and Eros. They make mistakes that can be cleaned up with paper towels. When you work with other people I think it's easier to forgive yourself because you see and hear about other errors they make. 

My role model for diet and exercise is my bestie Deb Peterson. If you know her, you understand that she is one of the most disciplined people you'll ever meet. She has more self-control in her little finger than I do in my whole body. Deb makes up her mind to change her diet and she just does it. I waffle. Then eat waffles. Deb even works out on vacation. It took me years to join a gym and then hire a trainer.

At last week's training session, Torie, my 23-year-old, perky trainer tortured me with a "pick your poison" kind of workout. I had to pick a word and she'd look on a sheet and tell me, according to the letters in the word, what I had to do. I F-ing hate jumping jacks. Wall sitting for 30 seconds? Leg shakes. Every time she announced my torture, my face told the story. But I performed them all. Except for the plank. My shoulders don't do that anymore. I was being self-critical - that giant mirror doesn't help. Torie did tell me my lunges are getting better. Small victories. 

Then I remembered - I'm now 60 and really haven't worked out for about 10 years. Sure, I walk and ride my bike. When I lived in Creston, I worked out with my girlfriends. That was 2008. I'm trying again. Even though I hate it, I want to have a workout routine because I want to be in shape. 

I've had three weeks off from my volunteer gig at Lutheran Services of Iowa helping teach immigrants English. I'm looking forward to going back. The students genuinely wish to learn. I sometimes feel frustrated at my lack of ability to "reach" the students. My heart is in the right place and I will continue to try to find ways to improve my teaching skills.

Have you noticed those articles that tell you what/what not to wear, and what your hair should look like? I have a love/hate relationship with them. Part of me thinks I should be happy just being me, and the other part wants to "fit in". Ugh, why do I still want to fit in? I need more deep thinking time to solve that one.

If you can't tell, this blog kind of a self-evaluation. Right now I'm working on my evaluation for work too. Noting what I'm doing. Listing what I'll do next year and thinking about what can I do better. Trying not to beat to self-critical. 

What about you? Are you too hard on yourself? Do you carry that mantle around? If so, think about taking it off your shoulders. How would you do that? How would that feel? I'm still figuring it out.

Paul and I took our new kayaks out for a spin at Raccoon River Park this morning. They are beautiful Cyclone red!

Mine's name is Rio and Paul's is Buick (it's really Skylark - but that's not manly enough). It was a gorgeous morning and we love the new boats. They glide nicely and are lighter and shorter - easier to load in the truck. It's a great way to start a day! That sure helps one have a good self-attitude. 

Big D Reputation, New Place

The was a short work week - but somehow it didn't feel like it. Did I pack 40 hours of work into 31? Hmmm, feels like it! Oh well. I'm off now - it's sunny and I'm blogging.

We drove Paul's truck out to Colorado last weekend. It was filled with Amy and Corey projects! Plus our undies for the trip. haha. I'm always paranoid I haven't packed right for the trip - but I haven't forgotten undies yet.

We drove partway Thursday night - staying in Kearney. Denver was only a few hours from there - so we arrived before noon. This year we didn't surprise Amy by showing up a day earlier than planned. In our defense, we did let her know when we were a few hours out from her place.

I enjoyed sitting on the rooftop deck at their new townhome. Amy's been working hard to decorate the place. It's looking good. She and Corey enjoy having their very own home. While I relaxed rooftop, the gang installed the "floating" nightstands Paul built out of maple. Our children's wishes are Paul's command. They turned out swell - one on each side of the bed. He also made a bike rack for the garage, similar to the one on our wall. He's started working on a bookshelf for Jud and Kara already.

That night we Ubered (is that a verb?) to Euclid Hall, our family "go-to" restaurant in downtown. We met niece Jordan and wife Jill to have drinks and dinner before the Taylor Swift concert. Loved catching up with them. We heard about their trip to LA for niece Leslie's baby shower a couple weekends ago. So excited for Baby Girl Lopez to join brother James and daddy Jordan. And of course Mommy Leslie.

Yep, we're ready to rock at TS

The TS concert at Mile High stadium was the most awesome production I've ever attended! Video, fireworks, she rode in a pod to a small stage below us. 58,000 people were there.Taylor sang all the songs from her newest album, Reputation - yay because I downloaded it last fall. Paul wasn't as enthusiastic as I was, but he and Corey are man enough to take their women to a concert.

When we all streamed out of the stadium, drunk on music love, it was difficult to hail an Uber. So we walked several blocks, an after about an hour we finally got a ride. The dogs were happy to see us when we arrived back at the townhouse.

Did I mention the two canines? Corey and Amy have had Franklin (a rescue weenie) for a couple of years. Eros is a new addition to their family. He's a nine-year-old mutt who is very sweet. Franks gave me a couple ankle licks. I pined for Odie then.

 Shopping was in order Saturday. That night our mission was an Escape Room at Puzzah. If I wasn't with the best, smartest team, I'd still be locked in the room (no not really because they let you out after an hour. Team Cyclone-Tiger finished in 51 minutes. Bestest! We had a drink at a speakeasy, and dinner at Ted's Montana Grill. I love hanging out with my kids.

Kickass team

Sunday took us to the Vail area where my sister lives. We solved more puzzles - by assembling deck furniture for Cindo's side deck. Memorial weekend is also mulch the berm time - 25 bags worth. Too bad Cindy sounded like those raspy-voiced characters on the Simpson. She had a bad cough and she looked exhausted. Of course, she insisted on forging ahead on a dinner party for us, her son Colby and gf Gretchen. Delish as usual. Loved catching up with everyone, especially Colby, who went on a recent fishing excursion to Christmas Island - nirvana for him. Then he and Gretchen did a long weekend in Chicago, attending a 30 something course meal. Yikes!

We took off early Monday morning (sorry for the early wake-up call Corey/Amy). I never enjoy the trip home like the one out. Nebraska was beautiful Thursday night western NE was green and luscious On the way home, we didn't hit the "wall of heat" until we cleared clouds and rain around Grand Island. I always like getting home, but the house is still empty without my Odie girl.

The good thing about this week is that Amy is visiting. She arrived Wednesday evening for a couple work-related meetings. This weekend she'll travel to Galena with girlfriends for Jenna's bachelorette party. Sounds like fun - but I wasn't invited. Maybe Paul and I will be able to get our kayaks out.