Being Present

Have you tried Yoga or other types of exercise that require you to be "present" while you work up a sweat?

Action sports/team sports require more constant participation - so it's easier to pay attention to them. For example, when I learned to play the game of basketball in the 1970's Coach Allen taught us "plays". Mind blown! Who knew that it wasn't just about dribbling and making shots. The pick and roll even worked when players were limited to two dribbles - see articles about Iowa's Six on Six game played in the state until the early 1990s. Okay, as an outfielder in softball I may have had a few non-ball thoughts like, "what should Mona (Jones), Kristi (Davis), and I do tonight after the game?" So many decisions scooping the loops in Kristi's ancient Chevy - shifter on the column. Pizza Hut, Lally's, A&W. 

Fast forward (and it was fast), 46 years. When I attend water exercise three days a week, while I run through the exercises - stretches and aerobic routines, I feel like I have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). My mind wanders constantly! I am trying to change that.

It's not just while exercising either. Somewhere along the line, I started living less in the moment. 😕I particularly notice this during water classes and when I do yoga. Yoga classes can intimidate - especially when one is 62 years old with bad shoulders. So I work with my personal yogi Adriene from Austin. She's on my personal computer. When my downward dog collapses, she never freaks out.

I am trying to train my mind by fetching it back to the exercise at hand calling (internally) "Here, Here, Here". (I hope I'm not saying it out loud) haha.

Monday I found myself thinking about packing for my next trip (Thursday - Florida with my homegirls, reviewing my week's schedule, thinking about our children, and my funny Valentine - you get it. Distracto!)

So when the lap swimming guy goes by behind me - splashing me every 30 seconds, I must focus on jumping jacks, leapfrog and skiing - to the best of my ability! I need to get my heart rate up and concentrate on resistance to reduce flab. I don't want that underarm flab to paddle me away.

Past Homegirl gathering - 2018 Key West.

Paul with our kids Christmas 2018 - they're all doing fine. 

Even when exercising - Every Moment Matters! Be there! 

Your own toughest critic?

Our recent trip across Nebraska allowed me some "deep thought" time. Sure, I talked Paul into listening to a book with me. It was "Crime Song" by David Swinson. The main character is a coke (the drug, not the soda), addicted private investigator.

Listening to the book didn't lend itself to thinking time. It did help get into the mind of an addict though. The author does a great job of revealing the main character's thought train. He's a good guy, but first and foremost in his life is securing his next high. Life is complex. When you add in that layer, boy. I'm not sure how addicts do it. You can see how their lives quickly swirl towards disaster. Living hell comes to mind. I hope Congress - state and federal continues to work on this issue. 

When we weren't listening to the book I thought about a recent article I read in the NY Times. "Why You Should Stop Being So Hard On Yourself". It was a good read for me because I am guilty of that. (See, I am hard on myself).

Is that a good thing? Or bad. A little of both. Not being satisfied helps you strive for more, better. But constant self-derision is no good. 

I beat myself up (mentally) when I make mistakes at work. Yet I easily forgive others - after all, they're only human. Daughter Amy and I had a conversation about work mistakes last weekend. She depends on herself to proof everything because she is a one-person graphic design shop. Yes, she does require clients to "sign off" on projects, but even then, when mistakes are discovered after printing - she feels awful.

I reminded Amy that people are human. It's a good goal but is not logical to expect 100% perfection all the time. Amy works by herself. She doesn't have human peers - only her canine buddies, Franklin and Eros. They make mistakes that can be cleaned up with paper towels. When you work with other people I think it's easier to forgive yourself because you see and hear about other errors they make. 

My role model for diet and exercise is my bestie Deb Peterson. If you know her, you understand that she is one of the most disciplined people you'll ever meet. She has more self-control in her little finger than I do in my whole body. Deb makes up her mind to change her diet and she just does it. I waffle. Then eat waffles. Deb even works out on vacation. It took me years to join a gym and then hire a trainer.

At last week's training session, Torie, my 23-year-old, perky trainer tortured me with a "pick your poison" kind of workout. I had to pick a word and she'd look on a sheet and tell me, according to the letters in the word, what I had to do. I F-ing hate jumping jacks. Wall sitting for 30 seconds? Leg shakes. Every time she announced my torture, my face told the story. But I performed them all. Except for the plank. My shoulders don't do that anymore. I was being self-critical - that giant mirror doesn't help. Torie did tell me my lunges are getting better. Small victories. 

Then I remembered - I'm now 60 and really haven't worked out for about 10 years. Sure, I walk and ride my bike. When I lived in Creston, I worked out with my girlfriends. That was 2008. I'm trying again. Even though I hate it, I want to have a workout routine because I want to be in shape. 

I've had three weeks off from my volunteer gig at Lutheran Services of Iowa helping teach immigrants English. I'm looking forward to going back. The students genuinely wish to learn. I sometimes feel frustrated at my lack of ability to "reach" the students. My heart is in the right place and I will continue to try to find ways to improve my teaching skills.

Have you noticed those articles that tell you what/what not to wear, and what your hair should look like? I have a love/hate relationship with them. Part of me thinks I should be happy just being me, and the other part wants to "fit in". Ugh, why do I still want to fit in? I need more deep thinking time to solve that one.

If you can't tell, this blog kind of a self-evaluation. Right now I'm working on my evaluation for work too. Noting what I'm doing. Listing what I'll do next year and thinking about what can I do better. Trying not to beat to self-critical. 

What about you? Are you too hard on yourself? Do you carry that mantle around? If so, think about taking it off your shoulders. How would you do that? How would that feel? I'm still figuring it out.

Paul and I took our new kayaks out for a spin at Raccoon River Park this morning. They are beautiful Cyclone red!

Mine's name is Rio and Paul's is Buick (it's really Skylark - but that's not manly enough). It was a gorgeous morning and we love the new boats. They glide nicely and are lighter and shorter - easier to load in the truck. It's a great way to start a day! That sure helps one have a good self-attitude. 

New excercise idea

I'll fun myself into it. I haven't had much luck making myself do stuff I dread. And Paul hasn't been supportive of my purchase of a Wii system. So yesterday a.m. I bought a $10 Hip Hop exercise video - 5 x 10 minute routines.

I almost bought a Billy what's his name video -the kick boxer guy. Deb, Patti and I used to faithfully go through that routine or another video at the YMCA, before Deb became the Y Teacher lady. But in that case I had peer pressure and my key workout time - early morning on my side. These days I've got schedule excuses and no workout buddies to press me on getting into shape. But I wisely decided if I got a video that I hated doing, it would end up gathering dust. I need something fun!

Even though I weigh less than I have in years, I'm in the worst shape I've been in for years. Flab does not become me. I hate it, but have been full of excuses this winter. I didn't like the yuppified Waukee YMCA for $55/month - but that also cuts me off from working out with my buddies here at the Y on Fridays. I have learned to dread the treadmill at Joan's. I need something to do until I can get outside routinely and walk and bike.

I broke out the Hip Hop video this a.m. while Paul was gone. One of my biggest problems is I have a huge ego. I hate to look stupid even in front of my own spouse who loves me. And that video made me look stupid! I've always thought of myself as a fairly coordinated individual. I suck at hip hop. (no comments from offspring).

But I did work up a sweat and it was fun - not something I dread. And even though I am not good at learning dance routines, I will keep working on it and will catch on. And imagine everyone's surprise when I sport those moves on the dance floor soon!

Exercising

I worked out today and it felt great. Yay!

I joined the brand spankin' new YMCA in Waukee (above) right before I broke my foot. So I haven't yet set (brokey) foot in the place. But my Waukee Y membership transcends to Creston, thank goodness. We had been members of the Creston Y since it opened - but my Big City job has precluded going there. Hmmm hope I used all those new words properly...

This summer, while healing from my hysterectomy (geez what's with me and the health issues - let's hope and pray that 2010 is the year of healthy Leslie) I walked to the Y and talked to Jackie the Y Director (not to be mistaken for Pat Bullock, whom we also called the Y Director) to ask her what she suggested. Should I join the Creston Y and be a guest in Waukee or join Waukee. That's what she suggested I do.

I came home to Creston last night after a busy/exhausting work week. So this a.m. at 5:30 a.m. at the Creston Y, I walked a couple laps and lifted weights. I quit wearing the boot on my foot yesterday. The foot/ankle feels pretty good. After weights, Deb and I did water walking with the SWCC softball team. Them - 18 years old in bikinis. Us - tank suits, jealous of their bikini bodies. But wiser and we have more insurance than them. We exercised our jaws and our bodies. It felt great!

Next week I vow to check out the Waukee Y.