People Who Need People

So we went someplace. That was big!

Paul and I made our usual trek to Colorado over Memorial Weekend. Except it wasn't usual due to the pandemic. This year we prepared our own sandwiches to eat on the road. We loaded up with hand sanitizer and wipes for the car. We each made sure we had our masks along with backup masks. And then packed for Colorado weather - Denver and the mountains, so that means summer and winter!

We took off for Colorado the Friday before Memorial Day around 6:30 a.m. On our drive, we talked about the fact that our last trip before the shutdown had been our Colorado ski trip with our college pals. Covid 19 was just breaking out all over the country and we had no idea what the implications would be. It's a different world today.

Most people say derogatory things about the I-80 drive - across western Iowa, all of Nebraska and eastern Colorado. It takes us around nine hours using the Dave Bullock method - few stops.

It was beautiful - and not just because my eyes and heart were yearning for a change from my quarantine sites. Spring is such a lovely time of year and the rolling plains have experienced plenty of rain so everything is popping. When the Interstate Highway was built, plenty of "borrow" pit type lakes were built along the road, making for nice little wildlife, fishing areas. Shallow rivers flow along the road as well. People complain about how boring Nebraska is - not me! I think it's beautiful. Cornhusker fans...well, we won't talk about them.

Eastern Colorado gets a bit stark, but near Fort Morgan you start seeing a shadow along the terrain and realize, those are mountains, not clouds! We made this drive often when I was a kid because our cousins and auntie live in Denver. Dad would say "first person to see the mountains gets a Popsicle!" In the past, Denver often had some pollution hanging over the city. That day it was clear as a bell. Each time I make that drive I always think of those who made the trip in a covered wagon. Can you imagine their first look at those mountains? How did they ever do it? Hats off to the intrepid settlers of our great country. 

I was disappointed that when we stopped to gas up outside of Lincoln. Few people had masks on inside the store. Omaha was a hotspot at that point, with hospitals concerned they could be overwhelmed. The workers are the vulnerable ones. I wear mine for them. And to keep myself from touching my face. Our other stop was in Eastern Colorado at a small station where I couldn't bring myself to go inside as it was crowded with people. I'm just not comfortable being that close to lots of strangers - even when I have a mask on. I don't know when my Covid claustrophobia subside.

It was so good to see Amy and Corey. They've been sticking close to home, with Corey teleworking for his job with Syncroness, an engineering and product development firm, and Amy continuing her graphic design biz Gold Spark Design. She reported business dropped off early in the shutdown but has mostly bounced back. Usually, when we go to Denver we like to check out fab restaurants they like. That night we hung out at their place and they cooked for us. The rooftop deck is wonderful! The shut down has encouraged A&C, like most of us, to cook at home more. My fave was the twice-baked sweet potato Amy made. Corey grilled a nice rib-eye from a local meat market. We enjoyed just being with them and got to take the pups, Franklin and Eros, on a walk.

On Saturday morning we walked to a coffee shop. Wearing masks, we took turns going in for coffee and delish pastries. Who doesn't love an almond croissant? We love our kids and time with them was a much-needed salve.

Then we were off, driving up the mountain to sister Cindo's. We so missed our time together with Colby and her that was scheduled for early April in Marco Island, Florida. And Cindy and I were supposed to be with sisters Betsy and Susan on a cruise in France that week, returning Memorial Day. Paul helped Cindy with hard work - picking up and spreading mulch. Cindy invited a few friends that she sees frequently over for supper. Colby and girlfriend Kathleen came too.

The last night we went to our friends Bonnie and Eric's for a retirement party for Eric and the Sanders, another couple we've spent many Christmas dinners with. Shiloy and Jim Sanders retired from their jobs recently too. I sat at the dinner table that Monday night after a fab meal, just drinking in laughter and camaraderie with friends. Hugs and handshakes were out, but we were still together. Hand sanitizer was provided. There is such simple joy in physically being with others. Zoom has been great, but it will never replace this.

On Tuesday we drove to Iowa - back to our new/old life. I'm putting together a small consulting business aimed at assisting stakeholders that I formerly worked with when I was employed by DNR. Just starting a business has been an adventure! When I tried to set up an EIN (biz tax number) IRS told me Thursday that Social Security told them I'm dead. The national Social Security office guy reassured me that I'm not dead in their eyes, but didn't want to provide paperwork. The nice gentleman suggested I call the local office. I waited and tried filling out the online form on Friday and Yes! Lessarus had risen from the dead in IRS's eyes. Maybe it helped that I "unfroze" our credit. No matter what, I was no longer dead and have an EIN.

Now in addition to my usual schedule of reading, jigsaw puzzles, exercise, and household upkeep, I'll slowly start to market the biz - Goldsmith Environmental Consulting. The Trash Lady is back!

Amy designed this awesome logo for me! 

Note: we talked to Jud recently and got an adorable pic of DIL Kara - now around 25 weeks pregnant. They continue to work from home too. They are working on the baby's room and got a new to them vehicle, prepping to carry the precious cargo and 2 dogs. We hope to see them in June. For now, we'll continue laying low. We hope you and your families are well! Take care.

Days Go By - Coffee Memories

I have a routine. As a morning person, I'm usually up by 6:30 a.m. and putz in the kitchen and laundry, tidying up and starting washing any loads of clothes that have accumulated. Then I grab coffee and water and settle in for the Today Show that starts at 7:00 a.m. 

Mr. Efficient, Paul Goldsmith, grinds the coffee beans the night before. We only need to push the button on the drip coffeemaker to start production of the delicious nectar. Paul leaves for his job with the City of West Des Moines (WDM) Forestry Department at 6 a.m. My retiree is currently working four ten-hour days trimming trees, mulching and spraying - all while avoiding people. He says he misses sleeping in, but admits he'd be bored if he didn't have something to do to fill his weeks. Townhouse life doesn't leave many chores to do. The beauty of his job is that it's seasonal, and he can take off whenever he wants to. Sadly, like all of you, we've not traveled like we planned to so far this year. 

Back to coffee. I admit we are novice (we have not continued to evolve past grinding beans and being amazed) coffee snobs. Just above Folgers, really. One can get Starbucks beans at our grocery store, so we usually go with those - creatures of habit. I did go a little off-script recently and ordered Peet's beans for delivery. I'd had that delicious brew on my Homegirl trips around the country. DSM doesn't have Peet's stores. I may need to check Whole Foods for the beans - the Organic French Roast was fabulous. Paul liked it too. There are some local places in the area I could try when I'm feeling more adventuresome and less quarantinesome. 

I have always liked my coffee with creamer. I trace it back to the way I learned to drink coffee as a child. Those were the days of percolators. I loved that noise of the coffee churning through the pot. One time Dad started a pot and forgot to put on the lid - yep, it perked up to the ceiling! When I was in high school, Mom became more sophisticated and got a fancy pour-over outfit that she put on the stove.

Mom could be a bit exotic for her time - later daughter Amy bought this same system! 

When I was young, every once in a while, Mom would let us add milk and sugar (lots) to a bit of coffee and then dip in "buttery buttery toast". It had to be white bread for this breakfast treat. So good! There are so many fab creamers available today. I'm usually a one cup a day person. I try to avoid caffeine later in the day. 

I am surprised that in college we didn't have a coffee-maker. Instead, I remember little hot pot water boilers that would rapidly boil water. Then we'd add Folgers Instant Coffee crystals. I can't imagine now how that mixture tasted anything like coffee, but our goal was to stay up late to write a paper or study. We even purchased caffeine pills called "NoDoz". Hey, that stuff is still available! No Adderall or Energy Drinks back then - to keep us awake when we needed to re-type (yes type - but at least we had a cool electric typewriter my grandparents gave me for graduation) papers when we spilled Pepsi on them.

Pic from the Bunn website

I don't remember what kind of coffee-maker Paul and I had early in our marriage. I wasn't a big coffee drinker, but Paul, due his Goldsmith genes, is a guzzler. His wonderful parents George and Laura had a pot going all day. Paul can drink it all day, will drink it cold (not to be confused with Cold Brew) and with grounds in it. For sure, when we moved to Creston, we couldn't call ourselves natives until we purchased a Bunn-O-Matic, because Creston is the home of the Bunn plant! I've toured it several times, and one summer, Jud was on the refreshment crew there - pushing around cool water for workers during the sweltering Iowa summer. There was no air conditioning in the plant. Those things last forever! We only went through a couple units during a thirty-year timespan. Sadly, when we moved to WDM, we lost our Bunn connection and bought another brand. When I travel, I always check out the beverage area and smile when I see that Bunn name on their coffee/tea units. 

I'd love to hear your coffee stories. Even how much you hate it and what you drink instead. I know people who start the day with a big 'ol Diet Coke! 

Kitchen table - family with grandparents. I learned to drink coffee at this table

Drive Inn Memories

On May 14th, country singer Keith Urban performed a show for frontline medical workers at the Stardust Drive Inn (haughtily called an "outdoor cinema in the article I read) outside of Nashville. Watching a clip of the show gave me the "feels" about the good and crazy times I spent at the Atlantic Drive-In Theater located on the outskirts of my hometown, Atlantic, Iowa.

The Atlantic Drive Inn was in a swell spot - in between the Atlantic Cemetary and the railroad tracks. I have vague memories of going there as a family. If my sisters read this, they could confirm, or tell me I'm making things up again. There was a snack shack in the middle of the parking area and a small playground I believe. Again - chime in if you remember this!

When I started thinking about writing this, I thought about one of Don McKim and my fond shared loves. Cheech and Chong - comedians of our youth. They did a gig on their album "Los Cochinos" called "Pedro and the Man at the Drive-Inn" (along with many other hilarious gigs "Dave's Not Here, Man"). Beware - in my now more aware adulthood, I wince at how insensitive we were, laughing at the expense of others. On the other hand. Some stuff is just funny. 

Putting people in the trunk to avoid paying the Drive Inn entry fee was real! I recall piling into one of the Pellett family's huge Buicks after a swim meet at Sunnyside Pool. Clark Pellett was driving this group of around 10 lifeguards and other pool staff to some third rate movie. Getting into the lot with our hijinx was much more fun than the actual movie itself. 

Photo - courtesy Oskaloosa Herald

Finding a speaker that worked could also prove to be a challenge. Some didn't work at all. Others were so scratchy you couldn't tell what was being said. And like in the Cheech and Chong gig, positioning one's car was important. Especially if you had back seat viewers! Lots of people would bring pickup trucks and back into spots. Lots of people brought lawn chairs and blankets.  

Of course, a draw to the Drive-Inn was that we could take in beer and Annie Green Springs - a cheap wine for those who weren't cool enough (like me) to enjoy a cold one. Diane Heithoff and I piled into Mona Jones' giant green station wagon to do just that one summer. When the train went by during the movie, the ground would shake, noise - blocking out the movie. The train headlight bleached the screen. 

I saw some really bad movies at that place. "Smokey and the Bandit" and "Death Wish" are a couple I recall. They seemed to have a lot of horror movies, not a genre I enjoy. At least in a car, one could hide behind the dashboard during scary parts!   

Throughout my life I've mostly been a rules follower, staying inside the box. (insert big reveal music here) I jumped out of my box one time when leaving the Atlantic Drive Inn. The beer made me do it! 

Mona Jones - middle, with Sandy Larsen and me - cake servers at Sharon Leslein's wedding (our hs bball coach)

Mona drove the getaway car as Diane and I jumped out to steal letters from the movie marquis that was stupidly set on the ground near the entrance/exit to the Drive Inn. All around nice guy, Mike McCauley was my boyfriend during my junior year. When Mona stopped the wagon, I jumped out and grabbed a big 'ol black wooden M from the sign (it was just hanging on a wire) while Diane snatched another letter or two. What daredevils! I proudly put that M up on the large bulletin board in my room. If Mom ever noticed the purloined letter, she didn't say a thing. I felt like a badass! I feel bad about it now. Do you suppose they couldn't order any movies we M/W in them after that? 

The Atlantic Drive Inn closed long ago - and sat decaying for many years. Now it's gone altogether, the land cleared. Too bad, as it may have made a comeback today. They'd need a new sign. 

Mom, Mom, Mom!

It's been a long time since I was in a crowd and heard someone yelling" Mom, Mom, Mom!" and my ears perked up - thinking, "is that my kid"? Even after our children were out of the nest my mom radar zeroed in on those calls - in a crowded store and at sporting events. What if Amy or Jud had snuck in and needed me? My point is - once one gives birth, Mom is forever.

Now that Jud and Kara are expecting a baby girl in September (yay!👶), I'm having memories of the pregnancy of our firstborn, Amy Elizabeth. Like the famous Butterfly McQueen quote from "Gone with the Wind" all I could think about when I learned I was pregnant was, "I don't know nothing 'bout birthing no babies!" or taking care of babies, raising babies, children - you get the picture.
As a youngster, I avoided babysitting. Babies and young kids were scary! I went along with some friends on their babysitting jobs, and my sisters babysat some. They seemed to know what they were doing. Not me! So as a young adult approaching parenthood, I took inventory. I'd held and been around niece Leslie - born the year before I was pregnant. My college roomie Vicki had her baby (even after the trial cat Cato didn't go so well) Kelli Behr, when I was pregnant. So little experience. I'd never changed a diaper or fed a baby. I was terrified! 

On my first Mother's Day - when I was pregnant with Amy, Paul and I drove from our home in Osage, Iowa to Austin, Minnesota to shop at the small mall there. He and I had a bet - one I couldn't lose. It was just a matter of time. If I ever saw a deer before he did, he'd buy me a diamond necklace. Yeah, that sounds simple now, but in 1985 in northern Iowa, they were rarer. On that day, I spied with my little eye a doe! He paid up with a simple gold necklace with a small diamond that I still wear today. It has all the feels!

Amy in car seat 

How did I cope with my concerns about keeping a tiny human alive once it made its exit from my body? Like I usually do - by reading! I purchased "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and the Dr. Spock baby book - a classic! I poured over the books.

Books did not prepare me for the pure joy and love I immediately had for the not so tiny (9 lb 7 ounces) bundle of joy born in mid-October (days later than the doctor promised). Amy Elizabeth was born just after 7 PM. I didn't sleep all night - even though the nurses took the precious bundle to the nursery. I was filled with adrenalin and the amazement of the miracle of birth. Plus I felt like I'd been hit by a truck!

Back then new moms/babes got to stay in the hospital for three whole days. St. Joseph Mercy in Mason City served Paul and me a fancy supper the first night - steaks and even a little bottle of wine. Amy seemed so tiny when we packed her off in the car seat for the half-hour drive to Osage from Mason City. She screeched part of the way and we felt so helpless in the front seat. We were on our way to many parenting hours/days of feeling helpless! Along with the good stuff, of course.

Through the first few weeks and months, poor Amy lived through trial and error. My mom came to help for a few days and was wise enough to know that her best role was cooking and doing laundry, allowing us to deal with the baby. Even after raising four babies, Mom knew that twenty-plus years had passed and she said she was out of practice. A heavy smoker, she kept her habit to the back porch on our rental place - which was good except that's where Paul put his deer hunting clothes! Oops. It was nice having her there doting on the baby. Dad made an appearance too - on his lingerie route. They bought us a rocking chair because you know - baby's need to rock.

Amy with Cabbage Patch doll Ollie Stanford in chair

In the mid-1980s, it was common for maternity leave to be six weeks - or less for some jobs. I believe I received some type of partial insurance payment for my time off of work. It was a good thing that I had that time. The pregnancy had taken a toll on my body. I'd gained over 40 pounds (note to partners - never mention to your wife that she now weighs more than you do) and my hip had been displaced by the time Amy was born. I was so glad that after a few weeks I could finally run again! Not really - I've never been a runner, except to dodge cars crossing the street. But I am able to walk fast! 

I continued to read and use trial and error. I knew projectile spit up wasn't normal. She ended up on soy formula - lucky she outgrew that milk allergy by toddlerhood. I didn't have any mommy peers in Osage to talk with about babies with, so the phone was my lifeline. It was long distance back then - so not as much chatting. That was a brutal winter in Northern Iowa so we didn't travel much. Doctor's well-child visits were also calming. Amy was thriving despite/because of us. One thing about babies - just when you get used to what they are doing, they're in a new stage!

We were blessed with the loving childcare we found for our children. It really found us in Osage when the ISU Extension Director, Neil Wubben told us his wife Karen would love to watch newborn Amy. Their four boys were growing up and she was looking for something to do. We delivered Amy to their home each workday as I toiled in the computer department at Fox River Mills, the sock/glove maker in Osage. Karen was a veteran Mom in caring for babies, which gave me comfort. 

In 1986, just after Amy turned one year old, we moved to Creston. We were sad to leave our wonderful childcare provider behind but were so fortunate that our realtor was connected. We met childcare provider Carol Frank, who lived just a few blocks from our new house. The whole Frank family pitched in with the kids being cared for at the Frank home. The Franks quickly became great friends and resources for a young couple with no family nearby (when Mom and Dad were in Florida half of each year).

Little Judson

When Judson was born a couple years later, I felt more like a veteran Mommy. A boy! We were shocked  - the first boy in our part of the Bullock fam since 1928. Again it was love at first sight with that little guy and joy in introducing Amy to her baby brother. There was also much satisfaction with our growing family.

I soon found out that no two babies are alike! I dug out the baby books and reviewed the month-by-month magazine on newborn development that Greater Regional Hospital sent home with me - dreaming of months ahead and night sleeping! Jud was his own little self right from the start. His January birthday guaranteed I'd be stuck inside for my six-week leave from First National Bank. My only outside contact was Paul.

I may end up having this hair again this year! A bit more gray. 

Some nights when Paul got home from work, I rushed out the door just for a break! Some of us may have those very feelings right now as we quarantine - being sealed up can be claustrophobic. When I went back to work, Jud went to Carol's with Amy. Carol loved newborns! And I appreciated adult interaction but was always excited to pick the kids up after work. Working fulltime helped me be a better parent when I was with our children.

So, we had two children, we thought our family was complete. Then, out of the blue, we started talking about another baby. I remember driving while delivering oxygen to people around southwest Iowa. A feeling came over me, telling me that was the right thing to do. Having a baby is always lifechanging. Having one that dies puts you on a different level of changed life.

Paul with Patrick

One thing that makes me sad about Patrick's short life is how I took his first two seemingly healthy days for granted. Don't we always find ways to blame ourselves? I'd had a C-section because he was breech, Paul brought the kids to visit. We were working on nursing - he was a bit tongue-tied. Then the nightmare of his heart crashing began. He was life-flighted to Methodist, we got the diagnosis and we went from joy to despair all in a matter of days. I'm so thankful I am able to be Patrick's mommy. He changed my life and continues to do so.

When life resumes in more normal ways, and I hear that "Mom, Mom, Mom!" I'll look, and then remember it's not my kid. For a very brief second, I'll wish it was.

It's a tough job - the best one I've ever had.

Advice: If you are struggling with young ones at home, try putting on some shades when you take a look back at the day. They are resilient little things. Yeah, they'll remember some of the weird stuff you did when they were little, like lock yourself in the bathroom for a self-timeout when you are feeling angry and a little out of control. We're all human. Do the best you can - find some space when you can't.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms with children near and far, here and gone.

Family! 

  

What calms you?

It's a high anxiety time. I talked to a good friend recently who said when she "gears up" putting on her facemask - and mentally prepares for a trip to the grocery store, she notices how anxious she feels. I can relate. I bet you can too. Shopping is not a leisure experience anymore.

A couple weeks ago I quipped that leaving the store be all like "I just pulled off a caper!" I put on my buff and gloves to shop at HyVee. At the store, I pick my places - trying my best to keep distance between me and the other shoppers and staff. Sometimes I hold my breath! I know, probably dumb - I haven't seen that method being touted as a way to be safe. Still, like holding my breath riding in a car driving by a graveyard when I was a kid, or not stepping on a sidewalk crack, I've adopted this behavior during Covid 19 times.

I started thinking about what helps me reduce stress. Reading Twitter and other news sites aren't stress reducers! So I'm trying to do less of that. I (and many others) enjoy doing Jigsaw puzzles. I started this hobby even before the pandemic as a way to reduce screen time. Walking and listening to books are two other great hobbies for me. I read fiction, but I marvel at the amount of educational information passed on in the books I read. Love my soaker bathtub for stress reduction too.

Today I'm listening to "The Tale Teller" by Anne Hillerman. It's part of the Leaphorn, Chee, Manuelito Four Corners detective series - started by Ms. Hillerman's father Tony who passed away in 2008. His daughter Anne carried on his legacy, writing the series which contains a great deal of information on Native American culture and antiquities. The reader speaks Navaho - the dialect is so intriguing. The characters are well-developed and dependable. During this time, I'm finding it best for me to read/listen to books where the good guys come out on top in the end. Lately, I've returned some books early that seemed to be too negative. I don't need that right now.

I've been thinking back to simpler times. Our high school class is planning next year's Class Reunion and a group email brought up some memories. All good ones - funny stuff about interaction with teachers and each other. I'd forgotten about what a body-baring time in life that was! A great deal of "mooning" (dropping drawers to show one's butt") and "streaking" (running buck naked) was happening. There are no photos and I wasn't involved. One classmate's brother attended a basketball game in a long trenchcoat. As we all stood up at the start of the game, he opened his coat to let loose two pigeons that flew around the gym pooping during the rest of the game. Incoming!

Jack was such a handsome boy! 

It was a fun time, but I sure wouldn't want to go back to those years. Teen angst you know. I was so fortunate to have a horse - Poco HiJack (Jack). He was wonderful therapy. I could ride him, brush him, or just lay on his back and sing while he grazed in the small fenced-in area at the Guttenfelder farm where he was boarded. He was solid and huggable, calm and secure. Hey - he sounds a lot like my husband! haha

Paul enjoys hunting to reduce anxiety - check out that happy smile! 

Everyone needs ways to reduce anxiety. I hope you are getting for yours!