Grocery Memz

Our granddaughter Nell's 4th birthday was September 5th. Brings back memz of the day she was born. It was the year Covid changed life around the world. Paul and I planned to camp out in Southern Iowa - so the car was all loaded up with gear and kayaks. We ventured south and discovered the place we booked for an overnight - Shimek State Forest - had no toilets. Not even the "no running water" kind. No can do! 

Then we got word from Jud that Kara was in the hospital - starting induced labor. Feelings of joy and anticipation took over. We got distracted from our original plan. 

Plan B was to continue on to Lake Rathbun and check out kayaking potential. Too crowded and we got lost trying to find another way to get to the water in the more shallow end of the lake. Picture us on a remote gravel road with kayaks on top of our car. Road closed. Queue banjo music! 

We got periodic birth updates from Jud. When we ended up at a Knoxville City Park we got the news that Nell Marie was born. We toasted over a grill campfire with beer, hot dogs, and smores. Happy Birthday to our beloved granddaughter. 💖 As Nell's birthday approached, Paul and I talked about how much life will change during our children and grandchildren's lives. And thought about life today, compared to our youth. Ch ch ch ch changes! 🎶

I walked out of the West Des Moines Costco one day last week with thoughts of change along with my cart full of a variety of items - food and non. I had a flashback of all the grocery stores past - of all the stores I've loved before. 

-The first grocery I remember is the little brick Safeway on the corner of Poplar and 6th streets in Atlantic, Iowa. We shopped there and parked there on Sundays when we attended Mass at SS Peter and Paul up the block. 

-Later, our neighbor Paul Morman (not sure of last name spelling) opened a bigger more modern grocery store on the corner of Highways 6 and 71 - where WalMart is now. I can picture right where the candy was in the store. And recall running through the aisles and bashing headfirst into some lady's metal cart. Paul brought out some ice for my dented head. If you have Facebook check out this link for more Atown memories. 

-Safeway eventually moved to a big new store just east of the Cass County Courthouse. There was also a SuperValu on the west side of town near the Roller Rink - but we didn't shop there much as it was farther from our house. 

-I just got in on the last of the corner store era too. I recall visiting one not far west from North Olive Street. It was the size of a small house and had an overflowing variety of interesting items including candy. And a big old cash register - with the proprieter sitting behind a counter. 

-In the 1970s a shopping center was built in a field, north of Highway 6 and Cass County Hospital. Sally Rodgers, Susie Guttenfelder, and I rode our horses in there before they paved paradise and put up a parking lot. 🎵 The area boasted a HyVee Grocery Store, state liquor store, Alco, Godfathers, McDonalds, and Mitches bar. 😆 

-Do you remember the price sticker guns? They probably didn't change prices as often as today, right? It was important to not select an item with no sticker - or there would be a "Price Check" announcement as you waited, pen in hand to write a check. 

-When I moved to Ames for school, my favorite store was Ames Fruit and Grocery on the west side of town, just off of Lincoln Way. I preferred it over the bigger supermarkets. More cozy. Price can drive where I go, but I do love small gourmet markets. Marczyks (Amy's first job) in Denver and Gateway Market here are a couple. Fewer food brand choices but more interesting. 

- The year I graduated from ISU, the country was heading for a recession. I was lucky to snag a job as the office manager at a grocery wholesaler in Sioux Falls, SD. There I learned much about the grocery business as the company, Gamble Robinson served many commercial customers including institutions, stores, and restaurants. The next year I transferred to another GR office, this one in The Old Market in Omaha. It was a big branch that sold to all of the top restaurants in the area - and stores. In Omaha, my shopping "go-to" was the local grocery chain, Bakers - who still had carryout boys. Today, Fareway continues to provide carryout today. 

- Next, Paul and I moved to Osage, Iowa, for his career. I stuck with my same employer - traveling north to small branch businesses in Wisconsin and Michigan Upper Penninsula. Osage boasted a couple of small grocery stores (Super Valu and ?). To get groceries on a Sunday, we had to travel to Mason City and Austin, MN. Access to fresh foods is becoming less available for people living in small towns across our country. Small town residents visit Super Markets in other towns to get more variety and better prices, and small local stores disappear. 

-When we moved to Creston in 1986, there were 3 grocery stores - and WalMart (not Super) joined later in the 1980s. There was some shuffling after that - Easter's Super Valu on the north side of town closed.  Fareway and HyVee built new larger, more modern stores. I developed a shopping system. Meat and other basics at Fareway, HyVee for more selection, and eventually Super WalMart for cereal and other staples. I've heard friends reminisce about corner groceries in Creston - just like in Atlantic. 

-Now we live in the (not so) Big City, right by Costco - a warehouse store, Trader Joe's, a small grocery chain store with mostly reasonable prices, HyVee, and Fareway. And Gateway Market for really good meat and a variety of gourmet products. The other perk is the DSM Farmers Market that runs on Saturdays from May to October - featuring fresh, baked, and prepared foods. 

We haven't yet taken advantage of grocery delivery and services like Grub Hub. Those are likely on the horizon for us. After that? George Jetson type deliveries and cooking? It will be interesting to find out!

September is rushing by - hope you are having a good one.  

 

Hats off for the Office Ladies

                                        Early post-college photo. 1981 at Vic and Fred's wedding. 

                                            No wonder my co-workers thought I was a kid!

Whilst listening to a podcast about yet another possibly innocent person (Letters From Sing Sing, first episode) convicted of murder, I heard an advertisement for a podcast featuring strong women. March, it seems, is Women's History Month. It kinda seems like all year should be filled with Women's History, but that's an argument for a different day. 😊

I was cleaning our bathroom as I listened to that podcast. I'd been meaning clean for several days, but waited until I was "in the mood". Podcasts make perfect company for cleaning! I began thinking back about the many strong, smart, talented women I've been privileged to work with during my employment years. 

Co-workers, supervisors, and contractors: 

-at my very first "real" job, as office manager at Gamble Robinson, a grocery wholesaler in Sioux Falls, SD. Nancy, the person who'd been the office manager suffered a stroke at age 33. She was out indefinitely. It was an office of four women, not including me. I didn't have the first idea about how to be an office manager I was fortunate that Karen was the go-to for training. She was understandably a bit pissy when they brought a no-nothing college girl in to be the top office dog. Nancy was a formidable wife, mother, and great worker. It took me a while, but I won Karen and the crew over by treating them with respect.  When I eventually left the Sioux Falls Office, Karen took over as Office Manager. Thanks, Karen!

-From Sioux Falls, I moved up (down) to the Omaha Branch of Gamble Robinson, located in the Old Market. There I met three totally different strong women. Netta was a large passionate Italian mother/wife - picture puffy black hair and lots of makeup. Lila was a chainsmoking lesbian - a bit cranky until I pierced her crabby defenses. She called me "Kid".  And Pat, the personal secretary to the division chief. Pat was a Creston native, a stately older woman (probably all of 55 😏). Those three taught me a great deal. You are not forgotten, ladies!

-When Paul and I were married in 1982, women from both of my former offices attended. The friendship was strong! Paul and I moved to Osage for his job. I eventually landed a local job at Fox River Mills - a sock and glove manufacturer in town. My experience using an IBM System 36 computer teamed me up with Karla, the original computer department of one. The two of us were charged with managing data and entering orders by hand. Karla - who still works there - taught me a lot. There were lots of great female co-workers - so good at their jobs at the awesome Fox River. 

-When we moved to Creston in 1986, I finally landed a job at First National Bank in bookkeeping in March of 1987. There I learned how to pronounce each strange family name while stuffing statements into envelopes, and preparing them for mailing. (Ripperger is pronounced Reebarger) Sandy, Cathy, and Pam were great coworkers. Eventually, I was promoted to loan clerk and had my own little cubby-hole desk upstairs. There I got to better know Sharon - the marketing director and Lamona, the only female loan officer. Syd and Barb were in customer service out front - helping people with account needs. Artie was the chief teller with a dedicated team around her. Eventually, a new girl was hired fresh out of college. Julie is now the bank president! The bank was full of strong excellent women. 

-My next job in an office/co-worker setting was in the mid-1990s at Gits Manufacturing where I was a product manager. This was the most challenging job of my career. Purchasing and manufacturing lead times (how long it took to procure or manufacture) were over a year at times. Jeanie and Cynthia helped train (and counsel) me through the ups and downs. We had some good times in a little office amid each manufacturing process. Twins Tracy and Toni were also fun to work with. We're all still Facebook pals.  

-After two grueling years at GITS, I saw an advertisement in the local paper - looking to hire a Recycling Educator for three counties. This is easily my favorite ever job. At my first trash conference I met three amazing women - Susan, Barb and Pam were peers doing similar jobs. We met periodically to share resources and support. They meant the world to me. 

I was an office of one - located in Creston's Restored Depot home of City Offices and the city congregate mealsite. Judy was the Creston City Clerk - and the brains of the operation. My grant-funded was managed and paid for by the county - so several times a week I hiked a couple of blocks over to the Union County Auditor's office. There I reunited with Sandy (former bank pal) who was now the elected Auditor. Her team was great to work with - Angie and Joanie. I also got to know the treasurer, Linda, and the recorder, Paula with their staffs. Friendly and top-notch! 

                                                           Jen and Becky on a tour

-After the grant ran out, I was promoted to Landfill/Recycling manager. My office moved to the Union County Landfill where I worked with dedicated scale operators - all women. Marie, Carolyn, and Beth all were wonderful with customers, so kind and efficient. There was one woman I won't name who the contractor fired after she threatened me. She didn't like the new office with my oversite and told me she had a gun and knew how to use it. Scary! Good thing, Christine, a young female environmental consultant attended monthly board meetings and partnered with me in managing the joint! 

-Nealy ten years later, I was hired for the career job I'd been dreaming of at the Department of Natural Resources. By then I was age 50, no longer a "kid". At DNR I met and appreciated so many excellent female co-workers. Traveling together for program audits and visits was a highlight. Becky, Angie, Amy, and my supervisor Jen were the women I worked with the most.  I must not forget about fab external program partners - Shelly, Mary, and Kathleen. They are all excellent and dedicated public servants. I miss them but enjoy following their family escapades on social media. 

I've likely forgotten to name some of the office women I was blessed to work with. And there are a few that, though they didn't threaten me with a gun, weren't my favorites. I'm sure I make that list for some. Some people - men and women - live for the drama. It's not my thing.  

What I looked like at the end of my work days

While writing this blog I was thinking of the new normal. Many people no longer work in an office setting. I loved the one day a week I was able to telework when employed by the State of Iowa. But I never considered doing that more than 2 days a week. I'm not sure how well I'd get to know co-workers without frequent in-person contact. I believe employers need to find ways to build teams and for strong employees to mentor others. It's a changing work world - they'll figure it out! Because there are so many strong, smart women in charge. 

For All the Chairs I Loved Before

Hello dear readers! It's been a while since I routinely put words on laptop for this blog. Why? I've asked myself that for the past couple of years. I used to squeeze writing in between working, activities, and parenting. Now I'm gloriously retired! What's up with that? 

Writing (along with reading) is something I've always enjoyed. When I found my employment dream career at age 40, I parlayed writing into part of my job as Recycling Coordinator in three SW Iowa Counties. I approached the Creston News Advertiser about submitting a monthly 1,000-word column on waste reduction and recycling. It turned out to be one of my favorite things I did (I loved it much more than public speaking, haha). When I moved on to my job at the Department of Natural Resources at age 50 I no longer had that writing outlet. So I started blogging. I was prolific! I had a lot to say, mostly about nothing important. 

Fast forward ten-plus years. Changing technology enables me to "read" audiobooks and podcasts pretty much anywhere these days using earbuds. I rarely do a chore or walk without some audio input. It's hard to ponder blog topics and turn phrases while constantly filling my head with other people's words. 

2020 was my first year of retirement. What a strange year in the life (for almost everyone on the planet.) Thanks, Covid! 😒 Though I had plenty of alone time that year, it failed to translate into any kind of joy of writing. I was out of words. 

I miss writing and want to find the joy of writing again. I've decided to cut back on audiobooks and true crime blogs. I'll get back in touch with music to see what happens. Thanks to our friend Connie and others who have asked about my blog and have encouraged me to write again. Maybe it will help keep me sharp - like Wordle does (haha). 

Today's inspiration started with an early morning sleep house remodeling dream. In the dream, each room I entered in the house contained a recliner chair from my past. Paul and I just visited Homemakers Furniture on Sunday. We looked at rugs, not chairs, but that place is full of recliners!   

Sorry recliners, I've always been more of a chair with ottoman person, like my mom. I'm the only remaining Bullock living in our home state of Iowa. Through the years, when my parents and grandparents were living, I benefitted by being gifted furniture. Ethan Allen cabinets, couches, chairs, and more. I've recently learned my DNA says I'm 26% Scottish, so that thrifty side has appreciated free stuff!  

Betsy and Max in Dad's chair - home place Atlantic

One of the first chairs I inherited was Dad's chair - seen above. Dad traveled the state of Iowa Monday through Friday repping ladies' lingerie, so the chair was available on weekdays. On weekends, Dad had dibs. His beautiful leather briefcase could be found tucked beside it.  

As you can see above, the chair was gold before Mom had it reupholstered. Atlantic Upholstery was operated by the parents of my classmates, twins Steve and Judy Boots. The Boots did fine chair work. Mom went with a vertical stripes pattern - with blues, reds, gold, and white (below). That's the color it was when Paul and I got it. It must have been 20-plus years old by then!  

Paul and sleepy Judson

The wear and tear with two kids, a cat, and a dog took a toll on the chair. No amount of Woolite upholstery cleaner would perk it up.  I found an upholstery shop in nearby Mackburg, and the chair was reinvented yet another time with a darker red, blue color that covered spills better. It lasted another ten years until the springs were just shot. I hated to get rid of it. We put it downstairs with my grandparent's plaid fold-out couch. 😁 

I replaced Dad's chair with my first brand-new chair/ottoman combo selected carefully at Coen Furniture in Creston. They matched prices with all the big guys like Nebraska Furniture Mart and they delivered. 

Greenish oversized chair/ottoman. Room for Kitty and Odie, along with my Bullock-sized bottom

That large taupe green chair served me well. On my telework days (every Friday morning throughout my DNR career) I put in many hours crunching trash numbers and corresponding with program participants in that chair. It was sooo comfy with wide soft arms that supported plates and laptops. My chair made the move to West Des Moines in 2012 and served through the Odie years. She liked to dig the seat (snagging it) and sleep on the back like a cat. 

Odie passed in 2018, and I still miss her. But old Green was looking a bit ragged by then. I shopped for a long time to find a replacement - finally settling on one at Redekers in Boone. Thanks to high school classmate John Krengel for fixing me up with my chair - he worked at Redekers for years. 

This is where I rest my bones these days. I remind myself of Mom in her nice wingback chair at my parent's condo in Atlantic. I still have the matching ottoman in my room - that chair wore out! And my grandma - Zora Bullock (Momo to us) in her beautiful blue wingback chair. Or in the antique rocking chair she always sat in at our house. 

Momo - in the rocker (I think Susi has it now), Dad is on our oversized blue couch. Mom had it recovered more than once and Dad still had it at their condo in Atlantic when he passed. We had to toss it off of the deck to get it out. 

So that's my walk down furniture memory lane today. Don't even get me started on couches! 

I hope you have some beloved furniture pieces in your lives (or not). I know, it's just stuff. But for me, furniture memories are like certain songs - memories of a bygone era and people and pets I love. 

Old Green

I got a new chair. That's big for me - change is hard. If you've been to our house both before our move to West Des Moines and after, then you've seen me sitting in my chair - Old Green. It wasn't always old, but earned the moniker because we purchased it many years ago from Coen's Furniture, Creston's wonderful local store - owned by a great family.

I've never been a recliner fan. That probably comes from my incompetence in working the mechanisms to make recliners comfy. Mom always had a chair with an ottoman in their second Atlantic home, a nifty condo on the Back 9 at the Atlantic Golf and Country Club. That chair was so comfortable through the years it influenced my chair choice. Mom lives on through me in picture placement (don't hang them high and be eclectic) and furniture.

Because Paul and I lived close to Atlantic and because we weren't rolling in $$, we were fortunate (or cursed) to be the furniture hand-down recipients. Early in our marriage, sadly, my Atlantic grandparents passed away. They had just outfitted an apartment at Heritage House, an Atlantic retirement home, with furniture from their condominium (my grandpa, Bubba never mastered the pronunciation of that word, "condoninium?")

Thanks to proximity and my grandparents, Paul and I received a colonial-style plaid couch with blue tones (my grandmother, Momo, and I share a love of blue), and several Ethan Allen pieces including a dining room table with chairs, and the cabinets that we still have today. We sold the table/chairs with our Creston home. The couch - a heavy fold-out wore out long ago. Sorry to our buddies that helped carry it into and out of our basement on Port Road. That was a labor of like and pizza payment! 

Dad's chair looked like this when we got it. We recovered in a darker red stripe

As I mentioned, Creston has a great family-owned furniture store that we were happy to support. They always had plenty of stock to pick from and competed with the big city stores on price. After we moved to our second Creston home, the time came to replace Dad's old chair (yes we got hand-me-downs from my parents too). I'd had it re-upholstered once, but the springs were poking - the cushions were finally shot after 50 years of use.

Old Green was wide enough for both pets

That's when I picked out my green chair with a matching ottoman. That chair hugged me through many highs and lows in my life:

• When I took on increased job responsibilities as the landfill director in Union County, that led to some insomnia. Middle of the night chair sitting was required. 
• I created Amy and Jud graduation slide shows sitting in the chair, occasionally shedding sentimental Mom tears carefully selecting photos and music. 
• The chair soaked up many grief tears especially when Dad died - leaving me parentless. Hard even at age 50. 
• Countless hours of watching TV, movies, funny, sad, educational, scary....transitioning from watching kid shows to binge-watching things like Entourage with our kids - to today's Netflix  
• Genealogy work - tracing my roots online never leaving my living room
• Real work as I was fortunate to be allowed to telecommute nearly every Friday during the eleven years I worked for DNR, even after we moved to West Des Moines from Creston eight years ago. 
• The chair was a comfort during illness - migraines, shoulder, issues, and more. When I couldn't get comfortable in bed it was a comfy alternative.
• The pets loved the chair too. Odie and Kitty (real name Samantha) would lay across the back or on/by my lap. They loved it too. So much the Odie dug and snagged the cushions for that "lived in" look. 
• I could go on but you get the idea. I'm willing to bet you have a piece of furniture you connect with like that too. 

So why replace it? We are updating our living space and it was "one of these things is not like the others". My new chair is lovely and well made. It doesn't yet fit me like a glove and we haven't bonded. Perhaps that's for the good because I really don't need to spend my days and nights in a chair! These days I stand up at our kitchen bar and sit there for some of my work. In nice weather, I can even be found under an umbrella at our deck table. 

I hope you have someplace comfy to settle in/on at your place. Especially in these unsettled times, we all need some comfort. 

 

New chair has no name yet. A little stiff - needs to warm up to my buns...

I hope Old Green goes to a good home who will enjoy her comfort as I did. Not college dudes! haha. 

She Called Me Les

San Antonio 2011

Bobbie McFee was one of the first people I met when Paul and I moved to Creston. Rejected by each of the 28 or so sororities when I attended rush as an 18-year-old at Iowa State University, I found my true sisters with Beta Sigma Phi, a women's sorority as a 28-year-old. Bobbie was a new-found sister back in 1987 who later became much more. And she called me Les - a name only my besties use.

After completing the DSM half marathon (walking) Bobbie didn't get the "wear your medal" memo

We're devastated to think this person who was so full of life could pass in a blink with no warning. We are so sad for her husband Jeff - two people who meshed so beautifully. Jeff met Bobbie through her Creston roomie Retta Baker, at Northwest Missouri State University where Bobbie earned her degree. Jeff was a persistent farmer from Creston who attended the local community college, eventually earning his 4-year degree later from Buena Vista.

Those two were truly meant for each other. I keep picturing them swing dancing together - not always technically perfect, but they knew each other's moves and would "go with it" adjusting to what each other did. They were fun to watch - having fun and you could see the love they shared as they moved around the floor.

What a cute family! 

We mourn together with their daughters Kristina and Kim. They are our children Amy and Jud's ages. That is one reason why we spent so much time together as families. On many a weekend evening, one of us would call the other and we'd make a plan to share an evening meal. The kids would play and we "adults" could chat about all things - raising kids, jobs, families, farming, and more. We raised those kids together. We all shared love and admiration for each other - plus a sense of humor! Bobbie and Jeff have always been such positive people - glass half full. Those are people you want to be around.

Kristina and Kim have lost their mother, their biggest fan, listening ear, and their advisor. I'm so sad for them about that. My mom died from lung cancer when I was 40, so older than they are now. Even then I felt robbed of the comfort of a mother - the heart of our family. Jeff is a great dad and will continue to be. Paul and I will try to think of ways we can support this family missing Bobbie.

Kristina has two young daughters under age 5. I'm so sorry that they won't personally remember Grandma Bobbie. I'm sad that now that I'll be a Grandma I won't have the opportunity to get more tips from her! She already told me a couple stories of her times with the girls that I cherish. Just like Bobbie took on all challenges, Bobbie didn't let fussy grandkids fluster her. After keeping the kids overnight in Creston, when delivering the young girls back to their folks in Ankeny, the baby began shrieking in the rear-facing car seat. Not a happy girl. Bobbie didn't stop as she'd already tried several methods to calm the youngster. So she just put some good tunes on the car radio and began to sing at the top of her lungs! Eventually, the little one ran out of steam and konked out. It will be our job now to tell Bobbie stories to the girls - so they know just who their Grandma Bobbie was.

Bobbie did not really believe in allowing herself much leisure time. She was most happy working on projects. She'd just plunge in. Recently, during the pandemic, she painted the inside of their Creston home. Every room! She only got help on the highest peaks of their cathedral ceiling. She loved to exercise, ride bikes and walk - quickly.

We had some good times in Des Moines in recent years when she and Jeff came up to bike with us. We may have overdone the beer to bike mile ratio!

Farmer's Market visit

Don McKim always laughed that Bobbie could be a "sprinter" when we had group gatherings. One legendary time a group of Cyclone fans attended an ISU/KSU football game at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City. A vendor was handing out free Monster energy drinks which Bobbie mixed with vodka. Then she invited herself into a fancy tailgate party with a live band and food! The rest of us were standing behind Higgins' Suburban in the parking lot. Not a super football fan, Bobbie konked out during the game, sleeping with her head on Jeff's shoulder.  I'll miss hearing her version when reminiscing about all those times we've had together.

I enjoyed talking to Bobbie about work. She was a very effective and dedicated comptroller - most recently at a plant in Creston that makes giant equipment that peels potatoes and carrots. They had a branch in Boise, ID so she told us how she got to know that area, mostly on her own. With a previous job, Bobbie and Jeff traveled to far off locations like Germany and Thailand - they loved to visit new places.

I'm so sad for Bobbie's family - her parents Bob and Grace, and her brothers and families. And Jeff's family including my former roomie Joanie. Since we don't have family around Creston, Paul and I have been lucky to be invited to some of their gatherings, so we feel a bit like cousins. Bobbie's loss will hit hard for them all. We will need to try honor Bobbie by keeping our memories of her alive.

Bobbie moved into Creston and won the hearts of Crestonians right away - even with farmers, no small feat. She served on the school board and volunteered for many other things - always dependable. When our son Patrick lived his brief life in 1991, she and Jeff were there for us. She brought ham balls for the funeral - it's a SW Iowa thing. That's what I kept thinking yesterday as we visited the house to see the family. Bobbie would bring ham balls to this. I expected her to drive up and take charge.

Bobbie had a road bike and kept up with the guys. Albie (my crosstrainer bike) and I brought up the rear 

Paul and I traveled to Creston to the house yesterday. Several family members were there and a steady stream of neighbors and friends stopped by to drop off food and to express their sympathies. It's what you do - surround the family with love. This week will be a blur. It will be our job to be there for Jeff and the girls after the funeral too.

We all need reminders of how special each day is. 2020 has worked on that. This reminder hurts so badly. RIP my friend. I  hope you are in your Happy Place forever.

Last year - Lake of the Ozarks - Bobbie's "Happy Place"

Mom, Mom, Mom!

It's been a long time since I was in a crowd and heard someone yelling" Mom, Mom, Mom!" and my ears perked up - thinking, "is that my kid"? Even after our children were out of the nest my mom radar zeroed in on those calls - in a crowded store and at sporting events. What if Amy or Jud had snuck in and needed me? My point is - once one gives birth, Mom is forever.

Now that Jud and Kara are expecting a baby girl in September (yay!👶), I'm having memories of the pregnancy of our firstborn, Amy Elizabeth. Like the famous Butterfly McQueen quote from "Gone with the Wind" all I could think about when I learned I was pregnant was, "I don't know nothing 'bout birthing no babies!" or taking care of babies, raising babies, children - you get the picture.
As a youngster, I avoided babysitting. Babies and young kids were scary! I went along with some friends on their babysitting jobs, and my sisters babysat some. They seemed to know what they were doing. Not me! So as a young adult approaching parenthood, I took inventory. I'd held and been around niece Leslie - born the year before I was pregnant. My college roomie Vicki had her baby (even after the trial cat Cato didn't go so well) Kelli Behr, when I was pregnant. So little experience. I'd never changed a diaper or fed a baby. I was terrified! 

On my first Mother's Day - when I was pregnant with Amy, Paul and I drove from our home in Osage, Iowa to Austin, Minnesota to shop at the small mall there. He and I had a bet - one I couldn't lose. It was just a matter of time. If I ever saw a deer before he did, he'd buy me a diamond necklace. Yeah, that sounds simple now, but in 1985 in northern Iowa, they were rarer. On that day, I spied with my little eye a doe! He paid up with a simple gold necklace with a small diamond that I still wear today. It has all the feels!

Amy in car seat 

How did I cope with my concerns about keeping a tiny human alive once it made its exit from my body? Like I usually do - by reading! I purchased "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and the Dr. Spock baby book - a classic! I poured over the books.

Books did not prepare me for the pure joy and love I immediately had for the not so tiny (9 lb 7 ounces) bundle of joy born in mid-October (days later than the doctor promised). Amy Elizabeth was born just after 7 PM. I didn't sleep all night - even though the nurses took the precious bundle to the nursery. I was filled with adrenalin and the amazement of the miracle of birth. Plus I felt like I'd been hit by a truck!

Back then new moms/babes got to stay in the hospital for three whole days. St. Joseph Mercy in Mason City served Paul and me a fancy supper the first night - steaks and even a little bottle of wine. Amy seemed so tiny when we packed her off in the car seat for the half-hour drive to Osage from Mason City. She screeched part of the way and we felt so helpless in the front seat. We were on our way to many parenting hours/days of feeling helpless! Along with the good stuff, of course.

Through the first few weeks and months, poor Amy lived through trial and error. My mom came to help for a few days and was wise enough to know that her best role was cooking and doing laundry, allowing us to deal with the baby. Even after raising four babies, Mom knew that twenty-plus years had passed and she said she was out of practice. A heavy smoker, she kept her habit to the back porch on our rental place - which was good except that's where Paul put his deer hunting clothes! Oops. It was nice having her there doting on the baby. Dad made an appearance too - on his lingerie route. They bought us a rocking chair because you know - baby's need to rock.

Amy with Cabbage Patch doll Ollie Stanford in chair

In the mid-1980s, it was common for maternity leave to be six weeks - or less for some jobs. I believe I received some type of partial insurance payment for my time off of work. It was a good thing that I had that time. The pregnancy had taken a toll on my body. I'd gained over 40 pounds (note to partners - never mention to your wife that she now weighs more than you do) and my hip had been displaced by the time Amy was born. I was so glad that after a few weeks I could finally run again! Not really - I've never been a runner, except to dodge cars crossing the street. But I am able to walk fast! 

I continued to read and use trial and error. I knew projectile spit up wasn't normal. She ended up on soy formula - lucky she outgrew that milk allergy by toddlerhood. I didn't have any mommy peers in Osage to talk with about babies with, so the phone was my lifeline. It was long distance back then - so not as much chatting. That was a brutal winter in Northern Iowa so we didn't travel much. Doctor's well-child visits were also calming. Amy was thriving despite/because of us. One thing about babies - just when you get used to what they are doing, they're in a new stage!

We were blessed with the loving childcare we found for our children. It really found us in Osage when the ISU Extension Director, Neil Wubben told us his wife Karen would love to watch newborn Amy. Their four boys were growing up and she was looking for something to do. We delivered Amy to their home each workday as I toiled in the computer department at Fox River Mills, the sock/glove maker in Osage. Karen was a veteran Mom in caring for babies, which gave me comfort. 

In 1986, just after Amy turned one year old, we moved to Creston. We were sad to leave our wonderful childcare provider behind but were so fortunate that our realtor was connected. We met childcare provider Carol Frank, who lived just a few blocks from our new house. The whole Frank family pitched in with the kids being cared for at the Frank home. The Franks quickly became great friends and resources for a young couple with no family nearby (when Mom and Dad were in Florida half of each year).

Little Judson

When Judson was born a couple years later, I felt more like a veteran Mommy. A boy! We were shocked  - the first boy in our part of the Bullock fam since 1928. Again it was love at first sight with that little guy and joy in introducing Amy to her baby brother. There was also much satisfaction with our growing family.

I soon found out that no two babies are alike! I dug out the baby books and reviewed the month-by-month magazine on newborn development that Greater Regional Hospital sent home with me - dreaming of months ahead and night sleeping! Jud was his own little self right from the start. His January birthday guaranteed I'd be stuck inside for my six-week leave from First National Bank. My only outside contact was Paul.

I may end up having this hair again this year! A bit more gray. 

Some nights when Paul got home from work, I rushed out the door just for a break! Some of us may have those very feelings right now as we quarantine - being sealed up can be claustrophobic. When I went back to work, Jud went to Carol's with Amy. Carol loved newborns! And I appreciated adult interaction but was always excited to pick the kids up after work. Working fulltime helped me be a better parent when I was with our children.

So, we had two children, we thought our family was complete. Then, out of the blue, we started talking about another baby. I remember driving while delivering oxygen to people around southwest Iowa. A feeling came over me, telling me that was the right thing to do. Having a baby is always lifechanging. Having one that dies puts you on a different level of changed life.

Paul with Patrick

One thing that makes me sad about Patrick's short life is how I took his first two seemingly healthy days for granted. Don't we always find ways to blame ourselves? I'd had a C-section because he was breech, Paul brought the kids to visit. We were working on nursing - he was a bit tongue-tied. Then the nightmare of his heart crashing began. He was life-flighted to Methodist, we got the diagnosis and we went from joy to despair all in a matter of days. I'm so thankful I am able to be Patrick's mommy. He changed my life and continues to do so.

When life resumes in more normal ways, and I hear that "Mom, Mom, Mom!" I'll look, and then remember it's not my kid. For a very brief second, I'll wish it was.

It's a tough job - the best one I've ever had.

Advice: If you are struggling with young ones at home, try putting on some shades when you take a look back at the day. They are resilient little things. Yeah, they'll remember some of the weird stuff you did when they were little, like lock yourself in the bathroom for a self-timeout when you are feeling angry and a little out of control. We're all human. Do the best you can - find some space when you can't.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms with children near and far, here and gone.

Family! 

  

Where work gets done

I've mentioned how I'm finding calm in re-listening (is that a word?) to books by authors I enjoy. Authors that let the Good Guys win. My tender psyche seems to need a dose or more of that in these scary times when an invisible enemy has invaded.

One author I enjoy is Lee Child who writes the novels with Jack Reacher as the main character. Reacher is a former marine military policeman who travels the country like a hobo, finding wrongs and righting them. All with only the clothes on his back and a toothbrush. Don't get me started on the two movies where they cast Tom Cruise as Reacher - a guy who is supposed to be six foot five inches tall.

This week I listened to the Reacher book "61 Hours" again. It's set in cold snowy South Dakota. In the book, Reacher needs military information, so he contacts one of his former offices where a female officer serving in that capacity ends up assisting him. In repayment, she wants to know the lore behind the big dent in the big metal government desk she sits at. She'd heard rumors that Reacher put the dent there with a colonel's head.

It took nearly the whole book before Reacher reveals the story about the dent. The colonel was corrupt and had been selling MRE (ready to eat meals) to enemy forces while Reacher and his team were starving in Afghanistan. And he used the money to buy stupid things - like a 1980 Corvette, the worst Vette ever made, which added insult to injury. It's those kinds of details that make the Lee Child books excellent. They add texture to Reacher's character that not all books attain.

Listening to the author describe that desk put me into the "Wayback" machine. I started thinking about all of the desks I've sat at through the years.

I have the very first one downstairs. Mom purchased an unpainted desk somewhere and probably had Pearl the Painter match it to the wallpaper in the room lil sis Betsy and I shared. Our room had blue carpet with cream wallpaper with a blue design. So the desk was blue at that time. But the beauty of the desk is that it can be any color! When Mom gave it to daughter Amy, it was purple at one time. Because - of course, it was! Amy loved colors! Now it's blue again to match the guest room (Amy's room) in our DSM home.

My next desk memory is at Washington Elementary School when we had those little desks with the lid that opened. Inside we kept all of our stuff: Elmer's Glue, crayons, pencils, a ruler, scissors, and paper. The hinged lid allowed us to hide from the teacher at times. That created opportunities for hijinx like make faces or talk to neighbors unseen. Or one could slam it on one's hand. After elementary school, I found that desktops were smaller as students were mobile for classes. I didn't get as attached to those desks.

My first job was at age 15 at an Atlantic gas/service station - Hjortshoj Fina, where owner, the wonderful Harry Hjortshoj, taught me to help keep the books. I remember a big old desk in the station office but not if it was wooden or metal. I do remember Harry stashing beer in the soda machine for "after hours" when his pals would stop in.

Loraine Dunn (my first roomie) and Chris Deardorff (visiting from U of I) lounging in my first dorm room

When I went off to Iowa State University, I discovered that I needed to be flexible when it came to study/workspace. My Maple Hall dorm room had built-in desks like the one pictured above. And I studied in various buildings around campus. Note how the desk is being used to prep to go out for the night. Not study! Wow - those curlers were definitely not mine. #icantcurl

My first job post-college at Gamble Robinson, a grocery wholesaler in Sioux Falls, SD, came with a nice, fairly new office desk. I was proud to learn the office skill of running a 10-key adding machine (without looking) at the desk. I got educated to the fact that I didn't learn all that much in college, even with a Business Minor, that would help me to be an office manager. I've come to the realization that college prepared me for life after college: how to live on my own, dealing with adversity, and how to recover from alcohol poisoning. haha

After a year in Sioux Falls, I had the opportunity to transfer with the company to a branch in Omaha - right near the Old Market on 10th Street. The branch there was an old warehouse complete with old furniture. My desk was wooden with a large file drawer that I'd open in the morning and close at night - because it was heavy and rickety. I have fond and vivid memories of that job. It was during that time I got engaged and married to Paul who was living in Oakland, IA - the best decision in my life!

I continued to work for Gamble Robinson even after we moved to Osage - in Northern Iowa. I traveled to Wisconsin and Michigan (UP) for the company, working at small grocery company branches, helping them implement IBM System 32 computers. They were huge with a tiny screen. I helped assign numerical codes to every type of product they handled to computerize them. I sat at many old desks and tables.

When Paul and I decided it was time for a family, I was lucky to land a job right in Osage at the woolen mill, Fox River. They are a family-owned company that manufactures fabulous socks and gloves. I worked with another young woman and a contractor to "computerize" company ordering. Karla and I would take order sheets and input them (IBM System 34) manually. We only had tables - no desks. For years I could spout off-color numbers - like Heather Gray is 7600, something like that. Crazy!

In 1986, Paul landed a new gig in Creston. When we moved there we considered another stop along the way - following his career. Amy was one year old. Something happened along the way. We met wonderful people (and some weird ones) and settled into the town. We got involved in activities and the great Catholic elementary school there. Creston became our hometown. It's a small community - with limited employment opportunities. Good thing I'm so flexible!

I started at First National Bank in Creston as a bookkeeper - in the basement of the bank. As a bookkeeper, you float around at all the positions - so no desk. One cool thing was the proof machine that we used to key by hand all the checks the bank got for deposit. The machine $ amount had to match the adding machine tape attached to the stack of checks. On other days we all sat around tables set in a square and stuffed bank statements into envelopes. That is how I learned how to pronounce all of the Creston names that don't sound like they are spelled. And I learned all the gossip - working with Cathy Lacina, Sandy Hysell, and Pam Grey. Fun times!

Credit - Creston News Advertiser from Bank website - FNB was purchased right before Paul and I moved to Creston

During my bank years, a position came open for a Loan Clerk - upstairs with a window! That desk was a built-in one, in a hallway. It was a great location out of the public eye. Sharon Higgins and Danny Purdum sat in offices behind me, both great people. The ever-so-nice Pat Barkalow sat down the aisle. That is when I really got to know the staff of Loan Officers gem of a person, Lamona Bilderback and crusty exterior, gooey inside Dan Porter - whose daughter Katie Porter is a California US Representative. Steve Crittenden is one of our best and longtime friends. The big boss back then was Dick Anderson - whom I nicknamed "the Dickster". Nuff said.

A year or so after Jud was born, paying for childcare but a crimp in fulltime outside employment. I quit working at the bank and had an opportunity to be on call and deliver home oxygen around SW Iowa. My Chevy Lumina and later a light blue Grand Caravan woody with a clipboard were my desk. Once I was a few months pregnant with our son Patrick, I was laid off from that job. I guess they didn't think I could haul a heavy O2 machine upstairs in my condition!

After we lost our infant son to a heart defect, I was at a loss for what to do next. I was fortunate that a local couple reached out to me to ask me to help with their financial planning business, to hang in the office when they weren't there, and to help with marketing. The office was on Pine Street in Creston. Mike and Judy always have their offices done upright, with nice furniture. I will always appreciate the Moffits generosity for letting me sit at their desks.

Once both kids were in school all day, the Goldsmith budget told us that I needed to work fulltime. I applied for a job as a planner at Gits Manufacturing, a local plant that manufactured automotive and other metal parts. When I first started, my newish desk was up front, in a big room with sales and accounting. Later, Cynthia Wolf, Jeanne Piel, and a purchasing person Juliann Sinn were moved to a small office in the middle of the plant called "the Blockhouse". We got brand new office systems type pressed board desks there. I think it was a tradeoff for being in a sunless blockhouse. We did enjoy our privacy out there. Being a production planner in the automotive industry was a high-stress low benefit job. I enjoyed my co-workers, but I couldn't wait to find something else after 2 years.

My salvation came in the form of a "Help Wanted" advertisement in the local newspaper. The landfill was looking for a recycling education person. Pick me! And they did - for a two-year grant-funded position, 30 hours per week. My first office was at Creston's City Hall with a modern desk borrowed from the city.

Once the job turned into a fulltime director position at the landfill, I was tasked with outfitting the new scale office and my office. I decided to hit the KSIB radio waves to beg for unused desks and chairs.  Creston peeps came through - I hit the jackpot with a big old metal desk like the one Jack Reacher described. Solid! It came from the Central Iowa Power Cooperative north of Creston. That was my favorite desk - so much character and history.

As a Department of Natural Resources employee, I worked in a cubicle. My desk was a countertop built into the 5 foot sidewall. In the last few years, I had it raised so I could stand up to work, or sit in a tall chair. There were plenty of drawers and flippers for storage. I miss the people there but not the cubicle. #loudtalkers

I can picture Dad's desk in the living room of our Atlantic home with a big huge adding machine on it. Dad mostly worked in his chair too. 

Now I work at home, my "worky" stuff is in my Dad's desk in our office, with the printer on Paul's side of the room. But the magic mostly happens when I'm sitting in my big chair with ottoman and my laptop. Or at our kitchen counter when I need to spread out more or do a video meeting. Have I mentioned I'm starting a business in June? Goldsmith Environmental Consulting (little 'ol me). I hope to work with solid waste agencies, counties, and cities on environmental stewardship. Stay tuned!

Coping with Grief

The title of the blog seems like an oxymoron in the beginning. It was the title of a CBS Sunday Morning Show article today. I think that show segment was for me. I'm self-centered like that. I try to see little bits of karma as signs in my life.

Grief has been on my mind this week as we learned of the brief illness and death of our Creston neighbor Bill Taylor. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in mid-October and passed away Friday at age 55. Joni and Bill with children Colby and Jenna lived across the street from us on the west side of Creston. Bill grew up in the area - a Diagonal kid. Look it up. It's got to be one of the smallest high schools in Iowa now.

Bill has been a fixture at the excellent community college in town - coaching and more recently as an administrator. I'm certain his coaching chops also extended to Colby and Jenna's traveling basketball teams. Both of them had/have awesome college basketball careers at Iowa colleges. I've seen young people's comments on Facebook and other sites - "Bill took extra time to work with me."  And "Bill sent me a note of encouragement after the game and I still have it today"

And now...Bill is gone too soon. The Creston community, the Southwestern Community College community and beyond to his extended community of athletes and students he has impacted will surround this family with love. They will help bear the mantle of grief, as much as they are able to. But then comes the really tough stuff. My heart goes out to them and to their extended families. Your prayers are appreciated.

This time of year is always one of grief and fond memories for our family. It's the anniversary of when we lost our special Bolder - my sister Cindy's husband, in 2012. He had a larger than life personality. Cindy is doing great - newly retired and planning a few trips. Their son Colby manages El Sabor, a restaurant in Vail. It's amazing how much he can be like Bolder at times! We love hanging out with both of them. They miss Boldie every day. Here's to you oldie moldie Boldie!

Do you have anything that happens, that you see, that you feel is a sign from a loved one that has passed on? For our son Patrick, who died at ages 6 days of a heart problem, it's usually something in nature. But for my dad, it's dropped ice cubes. He couldn't get ice at home without dropping at least one cube (icemaker days - not the dreadful ice trays). Our present icemaker helps me to remember Dad often.

Calling it a Career

Last day of work picture

Paul G. Goldsmith has retired from the Natural Resources Conservation Service (NRCS). NRCS is a technical assistance arm of the Department of Agriculture - helping farmers conserve resources and preserve the environment. He started with that organization in Oakland, Iowa in September 1982 - right after we were married. We were babies! And didn't really understand the significance of the career he had undertaken and the impact it would have on our lives. I was just excited that he had a paying job near mine in Omaha!

Our 1982 engagement photo - I got a lot of mileage out of that blue blazer

NRCS soon realized what a gem they had. Paul was promoted to a "boss" of an NRCS office in Mitchell County in 1984 at the age of 26 working with farmers directly, promoting practices to reduce soil loss. And if you know farmers...As the son of a farmer, he did it very well! He moved between boards, the state office, and stakeholders with ease. And managed staff - most were much older than he was in those early years. We enjoyed our time "up north". I found a good job at Fox River Mills - a cool sock and glove factory - as their order department was just becoming computerized. We met many wonderful people and explored the area. But, when Paul had an opportunity to move south to a more challenging hilly county (with bigger deer) in 1986, he applied!

We moved to Creston in November 1986, taking our sweet one-year-old Amy with us. That led to a 26-year run in Union County, an awesome place to raise kids. And hunt deer. Paul career flourished there. He traveled to Washington, DC for training, was part of a hugely successful project to build Three-Mile Lake, which took many working parts and ongoing work on the watershed above the lake (and the lake next to it - Twelve Mile) to keep it from silting in.

I know I'm really not touching the surface of the number of projects Paul and the people he worked with accomplished. I've always told him - no matter what, he can always say he built a lake! I remember driving out and looking at where it was going to go. Now many towns and rural residents enjoy clean drinking water from the lake. The lodge on the lake holds weddings and cabins, family reunions. Not to mention the fishing!

I must admit I'd get a little crabby when a farmer would call at 4 PM on Saturday to ask Paul a program question. But one must consider they don't work office hours. Paul was always very patient, answering their questions. I know it's not heart surgery, but we dirt and trash people are very passionate about what we do. We often bring our jobs home with us. He lost a lot of sleep, worrying about work because he's a fretter and because he truly cared about the outcomes and their effects.

I put my career on hold as we followed Paul's. I feel fortunate that I was able to work in a number of interesting jobs - and eventually found my passion at age 40 doing environmental work too. Ten years ago, after both kids were out of the house, I took a job with the Department of Natural Resources in Des Moines, commuting back and forth. After four years, an opportunity came up at the NRCS state office in Des Moines for Paul - and we moved here.

It was hard to move away from the job he'd had for 26 years, but he was ready for a new challenge, managing the EQIP program. He's been very good at that, and they'll miss him. But Paul and I are very real about this retirement thing - we've seen it happen. You miss retirees, but it's like a pool. You get out - there are some ripples left behind, but eventually, the new swimmers take over. It's the way it is meant to be.

Paul graduated from Iowa State University with a degree in Fisheries and Wildlife Biology. It's hard to get a job in that field - and when you do, you work long hours. He got good advice when he was in school - take Agronomy! Then use your vacation hours to pursue your passion. I think he's even more passionate about hunting deer now than he was when we met...not just the actual hunt, but the sustainability of the herd, putting up stands, observation etc.

What's in the future. I'll continue to work. As I mentioned - no career for me until I was 40, so I need to put in some more time. We'll need to set some ground rules - my telecommute time on Friday mornings are sacred - I can't have him bugging me! haha  He will take some time to get his bearings. He has a number of home improvement projects he'll work on. Our children also have projects! Dad's got skills - yard, woodworking. Now that they have houses...

Paul had a retirement party on his last workday at one of our favorite places, a woman-owned brewery called Peace Tree in the East Village. Even though it was on a Thursday in January, many current and former co-workers came for a beer and a chat - a real tribute to the employee, boss, and friend he was. Our daughter Amy flew in to surprise him. She has the best boss to let her off (self-employed). That was a treat. Jud was there in spirit. Thanks to Paul's workmates for planning the party - it was perfect! It was fun talking to people - many had little Amy/Jud stories. And Paul stories.

It is an exciting time! And a little unsettling for someone who doesn't do nothing well - but he's got big plans.

   

NRCS likes clocks! 

Next Gen, Cake, Creston Loving Arms

I've been sifting through generations of stuff at our home. Thinking about what the next gen might want. We've been hauling around Bullock/Morehead stuff for 30+ years now. Add in all of our own stuff. I don't want to stick our children with all that. Sure we have a nice big place now, but what happens when we downsize again?

HGTV has made an impact on furniture "hand-me-downs". Suddenly (okay over a period of 60 years), the Ethan Allen cupboards my parents and grandparents handed down to me are looking outdated. They have served our family well, but I don't see them moving to the next gen. End tables, inherited from my parents, are looking beat up. Wear and tear have caught up with them. It's time to move on. And what about all those knick-knacks? Our children may want a few, but some may need to go as well.

I cleaned out the kitchen area last week. I knew there were some containers and items I hadn't used since we moved to Des Moines five-plus years ago. I must admit failure when it came to a few key items pictured below. In the end, I put these back in the cupboard. Amy and Jud could score big someday!

30 year-old blender, snazzy ice bucket

The angel food cake pan above was never on the chopping block. I took a photo of it to send to our family. It was a walk down memory lane that had started when we traveled to Jud and Kara's just after Paul's 60th birthday. They had asked what Paul's favorite dessert is, and I replied angel food.

Jud took on that challenge - despite the fact that he and Kara do not have a cool cake pan like the one above. If you've ever made an angel food from a box, you might have noted that there is an alternative recipe for loaf pans. Our loving son related the story of how he attempted to halve the recipe, dumping some of the cake mix on the floor in the process. Clean up on aisle Goldsmith. I'm sure the dogs helped! Then he must have undercooked it a bit (these cakes are tricky). And you must prop them up upside down so they don't collapse. Oops. Still, I'm so proud that he cared enough to make his dad's fave treat.

The birthday boy with Jud and Kara

Kara and Jud rescued the cake with lots of whipped cream, strawberries and love. They served it that night after taking us out to a yummy steakhouse. That night we talked about the cake pan and memories of cake baking. Paul usually baked those cakes - many times for of our angel Patrick George's birthday. Amy would draw birthday cards (early artist in action). Paul loves eating the crusty angel food top hot out of the oven - a great memory from his own childhood as well. It was a wonderful family evening. That pan is priceless.

Speaking of family, a big shout out to the SW Iowa towns of Creston and Corning. Tragedy struck when the Sharp family lives were cut short. On vacation in Mexico, an unknown gas killed the family of four in their condominium. This is unimaginable.

I've spent the weekend trying to come terms with it. It seems impossible. I am not a close friend of the family. Kevin grew up across the street from our first house in Creston. I met Amy when I worked at the landfill and she worked at the courthouse. Still, they are part of the Creston family. In a small town, this is how one feels. They should still be there. This story should be about a family I've never heard of from somewhere else. It hurts. When it is someone you don't know it is worrisome, but it doesn't hurt like this.

Family takes care of each other. Already the Adams County Speedway held an event honoring the family. Kevin was a racer there - in Corning, the town next to Creston. More events are scheduled to surround the families with love. Individuals and families will step up and deliver meals, hugs memorial money, prayers and thoughts. That is why we raised our children in this area. I trust that the loving arms of the communities will do what can be done. Such a loss. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated.