Head Smack and Deep Thoughts

I admit it. I'm becoming even stranger as I age. I should have planned ahead like the guy I read about recently in the New York Times. He started making a list of things he wasn't going to do when he aged. He was age 50 at the time (now he's 60), and he was observing his own parents. Some of the things were:

• Driving too long - his mother had been in several fender-benders
• Refusing medical assistance - such as a walker after a fall
• Upkeep of the house

There was more, but I'm old, and I can't remember what I read....I can remember my own mother verbalizing similar thoughts about her mother and my dad's folks. She swore she'd happily accept Meals On Wheels when the time came. Of course, she passed away at age 68, so we never got to experience her obstinacy at such milestones. And thank goodness for Kay Harris who helped make sure Dad didn't drive. I'd better start making my list now, so my own kids don't have as much to deal with.  

Anyway, back to me. I'm already weird. I don't move into new things quickly. My behavior is more like a feral cat, where I must observe, and gradually accept that it's okay before moving in. So keep that in mind kids. When you put me into the "home", let me warm up to it. 

I joined a new gym a few weeks ago, Prairie Life Fitness. So far I really like it as it's laid back and not overly crowded. I have walked on the track while scoping out the pool to see just when lanes are available. I dislike sharing lanes. Those of you who have known me since childhood know I've enjoyed swimming all my life. I am the reigning 40-yard 13/14-year-old breaststroke record-holder at Sunnyside Pool. (Last I checked - which was in the 1970's).  

Finally, on Friday I was ready to take the plunge. One other swimmer was in the eight-lane pool when I finally figured out there was no entrance directly from the Women's Locker Room. The door into the pool also flummoxed me. See how hard it is for me? Did I mention that I dislike asking for help? Yes, it's a weakness. A nice lady did notice my perplexed look and explained the door directions. See, that wasn't so bad Leslie. 

The water was just the right temp, and I paddled away for a half hour or so. During one stretch of backstroke, I started to drift (mentally not in the water), thinking about Net Neutrality and its possible effect on rural Iowa. Bam, my head smacked the end of the pool. Lucky they have a plastic edge, much kinder than concrete. Course correction. No deep thoughts whilst swimming. 

Ultimately, I do recognize that I am not the same person that I once was. I can be a weird introvert at times, which makes it difficult to do new things. I feel good about conquering the pool yesterday! As Arnold said in Terminator, "I'll be back!". 

December Not Chillin'

Last week was a busy chilly week. I didn't get to snuggle with Odie in my comfy chair in the evenings. Instead on Monday, we went to Bravo at Jordan Creek for the Diamond Brooke Christmas party. We enjoy hanging out with our neighbors who we have gotten to know during the five years we've lived here. Bravo seemed to struggle with new wait-staff that night. Then, when it came time to settle up, some of our single women friends had to endure several references of "being alone". Like - "are you here ALONE?" As if that is forbidden. Sue laughed it off, but I thought it was quite tone-deaf. Overall, a nice evening, despite the waitresses. Plus, leftovers!

Tuesday was my volunteer night at LSI. I'm a classroom assistant in an English as a Second Language class. The class was smaller than usual - about eight that night. The students are still working on short and long vowels. In addition, this week plurals were a topic. There's so much that I don't remember learning - it just seems I always knew how to make things plural. The teacher, Sue, goes over rules - for example, when a word ends in ch, to make it plural you need to add es - such as church, churches. If a word ends in a consonant, you just add s. Seems so easy, right? Not when English isn't your native tongue! Class goes by quickly.

Our pal Krissy gave us tickets to the ISU vs. Iowa women's basketball game in Ames on Wednesday night. We asked our friends Kevin and Kari to meet us at Whiskey River before the game for supper and a beer. It was good to see them and begin making Liberty Bowl plans. The Cyclones played hard but came out on the short end. We trust the coaching staff will have them playing better later in the year.

Cheering at the game

Thursday meant another trek to Ames - this time for the ISU vs Iowa's men's game. It was an early game so we tucked into walking tacos for supper. The crowd was rocking and the game was close until the end when the good guys pulled ahead. We met Kevin and Kari for a beer after the game. Cyclone fans were cheerful as always after a win against the Hawkeyes.

Did I mention we worked all those days too? Paul happened to take Friday off. I work four hours on Fridays after working 36 hours Monday through Thursday. It can be somewhat wearing though - especially after late night Thursdays! Once my work shift was over, I watched Netflix until my car appointment. Suby needed new oil.
That night, thanks to my sisters (a birthday gift - aren't my sissies awesome), we had tickets to the musical Waitress. First, we visited our "go to" when we have show tickets, The Stuffed Olive. Good food and martinis. Loved the show! If you haven't seen it - go! 

Pre-show martini

Saturday was "Tour Des Moines", a walking/food tour of the Court Avenue area - another big birthday gift. This one courtesy of our children/spouses. Kara and Jud have done these types of tours in many cities they've visited along with St. Louis where they live. Des Moines finally caught on, thanks to Angie our tour guide who is super knowledgeable about the city. The website  tourdesmoines.com doesn't seem to be working today.

Our Wisconsin friends

We met at 1:30 PM at The Hub on the corner of Court Avenue and 1st. There were supposed to be 2 couples with us but one canceled, unfortunately. The other couple was from rural Wisconsin. They were fun - a farmer and his nurse wife. They love trips like this, having sampled food in a few other cities. It was their first time to DSM and they were hitting all the highlights! We tried pear, brie and honey flatbread at the Hub - delish!

RoCA

Next, we were off the Vivian's Diner for grilled cheese/beef sannies and grits. On the way, we walked along the river whilst Angie told us historical information about the city. I loved the grits! The diner is at the former Hotel Fort Des Moines which now is being switched over to condos - Angie actually lives there with her husband and college-aged sons in a two bedroom unit.

The last two stops included alcohol tastes, which was fun. We had fancy drinks at RoCA with skewers and roasted Brussel sprouts. Angie showed us a hidden bar - "Shorty's Somewhat Fancy Bar". I had no idea it was there with an alley entrance under RoCA. Dessert was at CABCO. Beer and chocolate. Yum! It was a delightful day. I would say you should not go to something like this for a filling meal - it's "tastes", which was fine with me.

Today was a day of rest! And we stayed home last night too. This week should not be as rigorous for this old girl. But it sure was fun while it lasted.

Patrick - 26

Paul and I took a walk at Walnut Woods State Park today to celebrate our son, Patrick's birthday - December 2, 1991. He only lived six days due to a heart defect, hypoplastic left ventricle. While he's not been an active part of our lives since his birth, he made a definite impact.

Losing Patrick put me into a tailspin. Until then, my life was a breeze. Childhood, college, job, marriage, two healthy children (girl, boy). Except for a previous miscarriage, not much had gone wrong in my life. When one's life is like that, you don't expect things to go wrong. Boy did it!

When Patrick died, people reached out and supported our family. That was one lesson I learned from that experience - the humility of accepting that support. Grieving was extremely hard work - especially with a six and three-year-old at home, needing our care. It hurts now thinking back on that time in my life. I feel bad for that young woman that was me. And for all parents and families that have lost children.

My beliefs and political persuasion changed after we lost our son. While I can't say these changes are a direct result of Patrick, he is a part of me.  As the years go by the pain of loss eases. Every once in a while the scar of grief rips open and I feel the sadness of what we have missed out on. Today we celebrate Patrick's birthday. Never forgotten.

It was a beautiful day today. No wind and sunny with a temperature of about 60 degrees. Walnut Woods is a beautiful park, full of hardwood trees. We started hiking by a bird blind, spying several species. My phone camera didn't pick them up, however. The Raccoon River is quite low, likely due to the lack of rain this year. The year Patrick was born we had a big snowstorm Halloween weekend, but this year, no such thing! I hope you too are enjoying this weekend. Thanks for your support through the years.

 

Places Everyone!

We all knew our spots in the Goldsmith Subaru. Jud drove, with Paul riding shotgun. In the back, left to right it was Kara, me, Amy and Corey - four people packed into a three-person back seat. We didn't want to take two cars as we drove about Saint Louis during the Goldsmith/Park Thanksgiving/Christmas adventure.

We arrived in Saint Louis last Wednesday, starting our jam-packed Thanksgiving holiday adventure. Amy and Corey had arrived the night before. First, we stopped by the Chess store and museum, because I'm a huge chess player and enthusiast. No, not really. But it was a cool thing to see. Did you know art and style to go with the game? I wish I was smart enough to play it. After that, we went to a vodka bar and then on to Pi, a delicious pizza joint.

Cheers! 

Post Turkey walk 

Thursday was Thanksgiving, of course. Boy, do we have a lot to be thankful for! Our family has grown to six, welcoming Corey. We are all thankful Kara is a fabulous entertainer. And Jud helps.  She prepared not one, but two superb holiday meals. Plus the table was gorgeous. The girl had a spreadsheet to help her organize the meals. Paul helped a bit with the turkey and we brought the usual creamy mashed potatoes, but Kara did the rest, including gravy. Sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, even sweet potatoes. Paul supplied the pumpkin pie for dessert. That night, we played a family game where knowledge is king. In team play, chicks ruled. Kara came from behind to roar to a victory.

Kara and Amy pose outside the Frank Lloyd Wright home

Kara made "chick plans" for Amy, me and her on Friday morning. We went to a local coffee shop for a delicious beverage and egg sandwich. Then we had a date with architectural history - Frank Lloyd Wright style at the Kraus House.  Besides the three of us, there were about eight others there, plus the docent, who was quite knowledgeable about the house, family, and architect. It was very interesting and I learned a great deal. FL Wright was innovative, and was a control freak and asked much of people he designed homes for.

Fun chatting with this group at Union Station

Friday was beautiful! We took the dogs (Archie and Henry) for a couple walks that day. Odie preferred to hang out at the house. We also watched the movie about the inception of the McDonald's corporation called Founder. It was interesting. We went downtown to check out the updates to the Arch and walked several blocks to view Union Station, whilst talking about best movies from the kids' childhoods. On the drive home, Jud took us by his new office at Purina. He works on the Beneful product line.

That night we went to Stacked, a burger joint on the south side of town. It was very good. Bellies full, we pointed the Subaru at Budweiser, the beer plant, where a free light show was being displayed. The warm weather brought lots of people out.

Saturday was Christmas! Our family will be with the "other side" (the In-Laws) for real Christmas. We opened presents early because Amy couldn't wait. haha. We had traded names and each person ended up with a lovely gift. We gave each grandpuppy a "dolly" but neglected to get one for Odie, so she spent the rest of the weekend stealing Henry and Archie's. I used my bath salts tonight (from Jud). About 11 a.m. we headed to a series of three local breweries. Schlafly, one with games and Urban Chestnut, where we sat outside in the sun.

Darts!

Saturday afternoon was set-aside for the Cyclone game watch. Except for Kara who slaved over a hot stove. Next time our Christmas may need to be planned for Friday. The huge chunk of prime rib took a bit longer than expected, and the Cyclone game (torture of another sad/close ending that did not favor the good guys) caused Paul to mix up the gravy while the game was still in question.

Dinner was served. The menu - scrumptious corn, twice baked potatoes and prime rib with gravy. Kara's hard work was well worth it. I was on cleanup duty for both family meals. Though I can cook. cleanup is my preferred slot. Saturday night was quiet. Corey and Amy headed downstairs to watch Clemson's big rivalry game with South Carolina. Lucky he didn't even need to hoot and holler much as his Tigers took out their rivals quite easily. The banana cream pie Kara made was a good topper for the evening - but the movie we watched was pretty forgettable.

I love hanging out with these people. Two-thirds of us talk a lot of sports. Kara and Amy aren't into it that much and get tired of the constant patter. I don't do that well at chick talk. Still we had a lot of laughs and fun. The main floor shower broke on Day 1, and the guys figured out how to fix it for less than $20 and a trip to Home Depot. It's nice to have an engineer in the family (Corey).

We took off fairly early Sunday morning, dropping Amy and Corey off at the STL airport on our way out of town. It's likely Jud and Kara went back to bed after we took off. They were probably pretty tired and ready to have their house to themselves again. I know what that's like. Amy and Corey were already in Denver at their place by the time we pulled into Des Moines. I feel very grateful for such a wonderful family.

Ch ch ch changes

Our local newspaper, The Des Moines Register has a "can't miss" section, call "2 Cents Worth". It's a short anonymous blast by readers. Yes, the proverbial train wreck that one can't stop looking at. I admit it's a guilty pleasure of mine. Topics range from politics (local and beyond) to dog poop to thanks for turning that wallet in at the mall.

Recently a post (or a letter to the editor) blasted our local grocery store chain, HyVee, for changing. The poster thought they should "stick to just providing good food". Gee, I'll bet the brain trust at HyVee never thought of that... (this is what I do - read the posts and ridicule them).

The grocery industry is near to my heart because this was my first foray into the working world. Dateline: Gamble Robinson Company, May 1980, Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Unsuspecting young college graduate - fresh from four years of fun and "book learning". I quickly figured out that college accounting and economics had nothing to do with the real world of being an Office Manager at a grocery wholesale operation.

The other employees in the office (not 4-year college graduates) were kind enough to teach me everything I needed to know. It was a crash course in real life working world. I grew up a great deal during that year in Sioux Falls.

Today, Gamble Robinson is gone - swept up years ago by another, larger corporation. I miss the Snoboy fruits and vegetables logo! The second location I worked at, Gamble Robinson in Omaha, is now a parking lot at the Old Market.

My point? Times change. The grocery industry is really changing. Prepared meals are a big thing. Amazon purchased Whole Foods. If you don't change - you could become a parking lot. The Fareway Company (another grocery chain - sticks to food, not open Sundays) has a model of not changing. It has worked well for that company to-date. It will be interesting to see if Fareway survives with this MO as Millenials become the largest group.

Giving Back

It's been a while since I put myself out there, volunteering. I've been looking for opportunities and finally, thanks to a conversation with a co-worker, got hooked up with Lutheran Services of Iowa (LSI). I'm a  rookie classroom assistant in their English as a Second Language program for refugees. After I contacted them about my interest in the program, the application process was fairly rigorous, including a TB test at the Polk County health center.

I volunteer once a week for two hours in a classroom with an instructor named Sue. She does a great job of being very inclusive - getting all the 12-14 attendees involved. For the first hour, we all work together as they practice listening, speaking and writing. For the second hour, I have had the chance to work one-on-one with a participant - using flashcards and worksheets. That has been especially fulfilling for me - though I need to work on ways to assist the person I'm working with better. I hope it comes with experience!

This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for this opportunity to meet new people from places I've never heard of. Paul and I are off to Saint Louis to be with our family. I hope you have a lovely holiday! 

Get A Clue

Oh that hair...a lifelong struggle

It was reported recently that the game of Clue finally made the National Toy Hall of Fame. The game was joined by Wiffle Ball and none other than paper airplanes.

Clue has a special place in my heart. Sure, I played the game with friends throughout my childhood. But the game also had a key role in a vacation my sis Betsy and I took with my parents when I was around 14 years old (making Bets about 9).

Thinking back, our family didn't take many trips together. There were the lake trips - mostly on our way to collect our sisters from Camp Lake Hubert in Minnesota. We visited our cousins in Okoboji too. During two memorable summers, we traveled by car to sunny Saint Petersburg, Florida. Mom was at the wheel, Susi was co-pilot. Dad flew in later.

Mom and Dad made sure that the Bullock girls had summer fun, sending us to camp - first Bar-L-Ranch in Guthrie Center, then Camp Foster and other camps in Minnesota and Colorado. I traveled to Camp Cheley near Estes Park with my pal Sally.

Mom and Dad did not travel that much. I get it - he lived out of a suitcase all week long, thanks to his career as a women's clothing rep. Okay, he was a panty man for Lorraine Lingerie. Mom and Dad did take some trips with friends, leaving us behind to "rough it" with super sitter Lulabelle Herbert.

I'm not sure why Mom and Dad decided to take Bets and me along on the trip to Biloxi. I also remember visiting our grandparents and think it was the same trip - but could be making that part up. Their plan was to golf, leaving us to swim. One problem - it was cold!

Planning ahead (Mom), they took us to a toy store and we each got to buy something to keep us busy. I chose Clue! So poor Betsy was at my mercy in the golf course clubhouse as we played Clue while Mom and Dad knocked a little white ball around. I'm sure I dominated my little sis in the game. No, not really. Betsy always had a knack for being lucky/good at games.

We also went to a Sea World in Biloxi and later traveled to New Orleans where my big memory was my first pair of Adidas - Robert Haillets. So very cool! Betsy remembers the fancy restaurant we ate at where the men's restroom had urinals with crushed ice. I'm not sure why she got to see that...

I love my Clue memory with Mom and Dad. Congrats to the honor of being selected for the Hall of Fame, Clue. You were already in mine.

I'm 60!

So just deal with it. Okay, that's me talking to myself.

I must admit I've had a bit of trepidation about this turning 60 thing. I knocked out 30 like nothing, really. My friends put a pretend casket on my porch when I turned 40. I laughed. When I turned 50, I partied with friends at an ISU football game. It was the last time my beloved Cyclones put a beating on Kansas State. We had a fun day - my buddy Jeff McFee (1 whole day older) was there with me. Let's hope we get KSU this year.

Exercise winners - creative leaders

It was a busy work week - so I didn't have much time to dwell on the upcoming birthday this year. Poor planning for my birthfest week to schedule 2 workshops and an on-site training date. Somehow, I survived. The events all went well. Seeing all the Environmental Management System program participants reminds me why I appreciate them so much. They are passionate about what they do.

DNR's Michelle Wilson did a great job providing leadership training. We all could use a brush-up in that area. It is so much about interpersonal communications and personality types. And who can resist an exercise that involves spaghetti noodles, string, tape and a marshmallow? Shelly Codner, who was not able to attend the meeting, arranged for a co-worker to deliver a bday cake. How nice was that?

By Friday, I was toast. Ready to be "off duty". A few weeks ago, I purchased tickets to "The Color Purple" musical for Friday night. You see, in early October, Paul had asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday weekend, and I started to get worried that he was going to wing it. I'd end up at the Cheesecake Factory (which I love, by the way) for my birthday meal. So I made sure we would do at least something fun and bought tix.

That evening, we snuck into a place at the bar at the Stuffed Olive for a martini and a bite to eat. The place was hopping. Crestonian Nancy Anthony was there with her crew - pre-gaming for the show. It was fun to see her. The musical was excellent - especially the vocals. When we walked in the door to our place about 10 p.m. we had a problem. Intruders! I was shocked to find my lovely children and spouses had snuck in to surprise me for my birthday. Birthday balloons, flowers, and hugs all around. What a lucky girl (or mature 60-year-old) I am! It seems those plotters had been planning this a while - and had fun on Friday prancing around DSM hiding from me. Too funny.

I was so delighted to wake up Saturday morning knowing my kids were all under my roof. Smile. Paul had a plan to do something special - so after breakfast, we loaded up in the car and were off to downtown DSM. That guy - I am so impressed that he pulled off this event. The bar is set high for his 60th - just 4 months from now. The pressure is on.

Ready for the tour

Ceiling view

looking down

door hinge

We arrived at the beautiful gold-domed Iowa State Capitol for a tour. While I've been in the building many times, I've never had the official tour. A group of about 12 of us assembled at 10:30 a.m. and our guide did it right. I have such an appreciation for the place - filled with so many works of art and craftsmanship. I hope those who work there hold their jobs dear to them. The tour was followed by a swing by some other statues on the Capitol grounds, a trip to our fave store Raygun and a stop at Confluence Brewery. We made it back to our place in time for the start of the ISU football game. Too bad the Cyclones didn't come out on top this game, but Corey's Clemson Tigers won.

Shots were not lucky for the Cyclones - but were for me!

That night we sampled the fare at the 801 Chophouse in the Principal Building. I split the lamb chops and scallops with Amy. The lobster mashed potatoes are so yummy too. For my bday, the restaurant supplied gooey chocolate lava cake. Sitting at the table with Paul by my side, surrounded by our children and their wonderful spouses - life was looking pretty darn good at 60. Cheers!

popcorn friends

Take That, Lucy!

Charlie Brown kicked the ball this time. And it felt so good!

So many times, Iowa State University football fans have been used to getting oh, so close to a big win - then in the blink of an eye, the football gods whisked the victory away. A fumble, a missed field goal - you know the drill.

Saturday, Paul and I were able to watch our team beat Texas Christian University, ranked #4, making our team 4-0 in October. Say, what? It's been a beautiful thing. I hope it doesn't stop, but my Cyclone past tells me "one game at a time".

Saturday was chilly. Good thing Kevin and Kari have sides for their tent. The little radiant heater we purchased at Costco came in handy too. It was nice to see Krissy and Caleb Carroll - they had a day off from parenting as their baby girl Lenny, in Creston with the grandparents. I bet Bobbie was loving it. Jeff had to sneak in time with her during harvest.

I was glad my hunter husband brought along some "Hot Hands". Even though the sun was shining, it got chilly quickly. We did do a bit a jumping around during the game - one of Matt Williamson's buddies was a great high-fiver.

Toward the end of the game, the Cyclones were perched precariously on a 7-point lead (14-7). TCU was driving. They were inside our ten yard-line. Lucy was getting ready to grab the ball away when Charlie approached. Time was ticking down and overtime didn't bode well. Just like that, our defense came up with a turnover! And then to end the game, another turnover. Cyclones win!

Celebrating after the game was what fans live for. Cyclone fans are a loyal lot. We've stuck with our team through thick and a lot more thin. Still, we love our Clones. And partying in a parking lot. I admit I got a little choked up watching the fans rush the field. We sang Sweet Caroline. It was marvelous! After the game, we waited out the crowd by tipping a few beers in celebration. It was a joyous bunch - the same people who have gathered after many a tough loss. This was more fun!

Life isn't all sports, although at our house - sports consume quite a bit of our time. On to other topics. There has been much published of late about sexual harassment. I am fortunate that I don't have any stories to share. I have much sympathy for anyone who has had to endure this type of attention.

A Des Moines Register columnist wrote recently about all of the decent men in her life, which allowed me to reflect on this in the same manner. How fortunate I've been to work with many decent and honorable men (and women). It's my hope and desire that anyone who is treated unfairly, sexually harassed and assaulted will now be emboldened to speak up. And that they will be heard, not discounted. If they aren't heard the first time, they will tell another. Those who have felt like they could take without asking. Time's up! 

Here's The Deal

I heart this group

I scoffed at all of you who shed tears when your little ones went off to Kindergarten. When you told me you cried all the way home from dropping your young 'en off for their big college adventure, I was secretly smug. What's the big deal? Sure, I found it a bit unsettling when I no longer needed to purchase Pop-Tarts at Fareway after Jud left for ISU. Still, my steely heart didn't crack. I enjoyed my newfound empty nest status. I went off to an exciting new job in Des Moines.

Our kids were doing what they were supposed to - growing up.  Much like my own mother, I have not allowed myself to be very sentimental when our children hit those milestones. Happy for them and for me. Amy and Jud were ready for new challenges, and I didn't miss trying to keep them entertained at home. Win, win.

Imagine my surprise when the funk recently hit! Yep, I'm having my Kindergarten moment now. Each child is married and they are off on their own life's path. They have been heading that way for a long time - so I don't know why it's just hitting me now. Amy's marriage? All of their general good career paths? Home purchases? Turning 60? I'm not sure if there is any one thing that has set me off.

I guess I have some work to do. I'm asking myself - what is my purpose now? I'm still working and enjoy what I do, but am not exactly in the rising star portion of my career. It's somewhat freeing! I'm looking for volunteer opportunities. I'll write more about that later after I pass all my entrance exams. I'm on the lookout for more hobbies. Writing this blog is one outlet, my word jones. Thanks for reading and for your comments.

I'll work through my funk - just like you all did on that Kindergarten thing! Just wanted to share.

On to other things:
We had quite a weekend October 14th! It was a wet and soggy ISU victory over Kansas with our longtime (notice I didn't say old) friends. What a great crew! Paul met Mike and Tom in his first months of being a college student. Paul was a farm kid who didn't have many close hometown friends. He bonded with those two from the start. All these years later, their annual pheasant hunting trips have strengthened their bond.

Peace Tree - East Village

I enjoyed getting to know their wives Paula and Shirley better on that Friday night as we ventured downtown to visit the East Village - Peace Tree Brewery and the Republic bar overlooking DSM. Hustons live outside of LaCrosse and Sullivans in the NYC area. It's fun showing off our city!

Mike, Shirley, Tom, Paula

On Saturday, the rain came down early - so we delayed heading to Ames and ate our breakfast burritos right in our kitchen. Our friends Moose and Kay stopped by, so we had a house full, along with our overnight guests. Too bad the weather didn't cooperate. Our friends prepared like former scouts with rain gear for the ISU game. Once there, we were joined by our usual tailgating pals plus Behrs and Jaime Wilt and fiance Mike. We were able to swig down a beer before heading into the game.

Tents are a good thing! 

We don't care about no stinkin' rain delay! 

The rain stopped during the game. Mostly. Thanks, Paul Goldsmith for loaning me your camo rain pants.In keeping with tradition, wineskins made the game go by quickly. The Cyclones didn't give us cause for sorrowful drinks! I like this new, improved team. Post-game rain drove us to the motel where our pal Jane Flack appeared. Yay!

We took over the motel kitchen nook watched football games and chatted. When you meet friends in college, you don't have an idea just what political persuasion everyone will be. Hell, as I've stated before, I didn't even know what I would be. It was interesting discussing topics of the day and hearing areas of agreement and disagreement - without a civil war breaking out. Several of our friends own small businesses, so they have a different perspective than someone like me who has worked for others all of my life and most recently as a public servant.

I wish more people could step beyond their safety zones and exchange thoughts and ideas on these topics in mixed company. I believe we'd find that we have many shared goals - unlike what politicians and some of the media would like us to believe. Labels (liberal - which many use as almost as a slur, and conservative the same on the other side) are easy to slap on someone or a group, but do a disservice. I'm much more complicated than one label. I bet you are too.

On Sunday, a few of us took a spin through campus to reminisce and note how many new buildings ISU is putting up to meet today's student's needs. I love my university - and hope the new president is a great one! We even drove by 230 Campus Avenue - that fateful apartment where Paul and I met. Good memories. No Ames trip is complete without a meal at Hickory Park, with ice cream. The whole weekend had a cherry on it.

Food selection at Hickory Park is important work

You Asked For It - Paul's Speech at Amy & Corey's Wedding

Once I heard Amy and Corey's wedding theme, #amylearnstopark - a play on Corey's last name, I knew that was going to make great fodder for Paul's speech. And me - writing is my thing, right? Of course, I couldn't help myself. I wrote a draft speech for his review, happy that I wouldn't be the one to stand up in front of over one hundred people and deliver it.

Paul put his own touches on it - and this is the final draft. He embellished some of the stories more than this script and did a fabulous job. Jud also gave a speech in honor of his sister's marriage - mentioning that he was speaking for his brother Patrick too, which made me so proud. Indeed all the speeches were great - but this blog is about Paul's (and yeah, mine).

My handsome son, speaking at his sister's wedding

Paul's speech:

Amy Learns to Park

Paul addressing the group - happy couple in the background, sisters in the foreground

Welcome, everyone. Thank you for sharing this special event with our family and the Park family. Thanks to Jeff Park for performing the ceremony. We all appreciate how you kept it short!

We would like to welcome Corey to our family. From the first time we met him, Leslie and I noticed how at ease Amy was around him – we thought even then he might be “the one”.

Oh that delivery! 

Leslie and I want to say how blessed we feel to have a daughter who is as kind and empathetic as Amy. She’s been that way since she was a small child. Leslie always credits my mother, Laura for Amy’s gift of kindness. When Amy was little, Leslie’s Mom, Pat, called Amy “Merry Sunshine”.  

Don’t ask Jud, but Amy was a wonderful big sister growing up – always coming up with exciting - pretend situations that he could throw himself into. When they both attended Iowa State, we thought it was great that they saw each other about every week.  Of course, later we found out it was to provide beer to Jud and his friends.  

Though kind, Amy is very competitive. She was a great scholar and athlete during her school years. Not because she was the most highly skilled or gifted – but because of her work ethic. She worked harder than others and learned what it took to be successful. She still does it today with her successful graphic design business. I guess that’s how she was able to land a guy like Corey!

The theme Amy and Corey picked for their wedding “Amy learns to Park” is a play on Corey’s last name. The driving theme is appropriate for Amy.  Amy was one of those kids who could not wait to get her Learner’s Permit! She insisted we take her to Corning, the town next to Creston for her driver’s permit test – so she could drive a couple days earlier.

Amy is an excellent driver, but she’s had some interesting experiences driving through the years. Here are a few stories I can share, with some marital advice sprinkled in.  

·         Shortly after getting her learners permit, Amy spun out and destroyed a small tree behind Creston High School. She learned that icy roads require slow going. This can be useful knowledge in a marriage. When conditions are unknown, take time to assess the situation. Go slow and don’t spin out!

·         Late in the winter one year, Amy drove her friends to a beer party and somehow ended up on a mud road, (she claims she was the designated driver). Of course, there was lots of mud jammed up in the wheel well that Amy was not aware of.  Early the next morning, the Goldsmith’s left on our annual spring trip to Florida taking Amy’s car heading to the KC airport for a 7am flight.  As we’re driving south from Creston, I can hear an odd sound coming from the rear of the car.  About 10 miles south of Creston, the rear tire blows.  You know when mud dries it becomes hard and in this case sharp, rubbing on the tire until it ripped a hole.  One ruined tire later daddy wasn’t happy. I had a meltdown before changing the tire. In marriage, there may be stressful times when you should just stay quiet, allowing your partner to blow off steam and calm down.

·         When Amy first moved to Denver, she didn’t have a Smart Phone or a GPS. Leslie would get random phone calls asking which way do I turn.  The best was, Amy called and was driving on a tollway, she asked, “I just went through a toll area without paying, is that bad?”  In a marriage, it’s best to plan your route ahead. Pay tolls and bills as you go. That said – impromptu trips are the spice of life! 

  

·         In Amy’s early days in Denver and when she started her own business, her car Dave was an important partner. She delivered fruit bouquets, warm cookies and drove for Uber. Dave allowed Amy to travel safely, park in tiny spaces and make deliveries. Amy also rode her trusty bike to appointments, weaving her way throughout the city.  Learn your way around – together and by yourself. This trip through life is rich when you share it with each other. Take time to continue to nurture friendships and interests. I look around this room and see it filled with our loved ones from a lifetime.  It’s not easy to stay in touch – but it’s worth it!  Make time for yourself as well – pursue your own interests.   

·         In Denver, Amy parked her car overlapping a driveway a little too far and the parking police put a boot on her tire.  Amy was furious, poor and grounded. How would she get the boot off her tire? In everyone’s lives, stuff happens. Sometimes we cause our own problems. Other times it’s just fate and destiny. Work together to get those boots taken off your tires. Talk to each other. Communication is the key. Problems are smaller when they are shared.

·         Amy loves Halloween. Almost three years ago, when Amy posted her annual Halloween character photo on Facebook, Leslie noticed that Amy was in character as the movie Grease’s “Sandy” or Olivia Newton-John. And she had a John Travolta. The next thing we knew, she was talking about a new guy that liked driving Go-Karts. His name was Corey.

·         Because of Corey’s job training requirements, he drove off to Pittsburg that next January.  She drove with him through Des Moines to see him off to his new work site. First impressions were good. Since then we have gotten to know and love Corey as an engaging, intelligent young man who is dedicated to our daughter.

·         A little over a year ago after Jud and Kara’s beautiful wedding in St. Louis, Corey asked us if he could marry our daughter. We were thrilled for both of them. Today they begin their married lives together.

·         Again, welcome to our family Corey. We will root for the Clemson Tigers if you will cheer for our Cyclones.

·         Please join me in raising your glasses in a toast to Amy and Corey.  

Feeling the love part 4

Four weddings (and no funerals) since late July. Jordan and Jill 9/20/2017. Paul and I were very happy to witness their marriage, together with many of the couple's family and friends. It was grand!

We actually flew to Denver this trip. We've traveled to Colorado by car so many times the gas station attendants along the route know us by name. (no, not really) Paul had never actually exited the Denver airport before - he'd just flown through. Flying was a big deal! Amy collected us curbside in Dave the car. Franklin (the wonder wienie) and Corey were back at the ranch - their apartment not far from downtown Denver.

It's so weird to think of Amy and Corey as husband and wife. I'm still getting used to seeing Jud sporting a wedding ring!

Look at that blue sky! Last year we ate chili in PA with the Parks

On Friday we attended a benefit chili festival put on by firefighters from around the country. It was on Larimer Street on a beautiful Denver day. Amy had helped a guy re-brand his chili powder and he had donated all the bowls for the day. Pretty cool, and the chili was great. 

View from Pottorff's condo

That evening our peeps started to arrive. Logistics boggle my mind, but somehow - through the magic of Uber and Google Maps, we conquered! Cindy hooked us up with awesome accommodations for Friday and Saturday. Our pals Bonnie and Eric (yes, of Christmas Dinner prime rib fame) have a primo place in the Spire in downtown Denver to go along with their lovely home in Edwards. Yep, the best of both worlds! It's super cool, with a view of Rockies stadium and they split tickets to games with other Spire owners. I love how it's decorated - just right for the space and Paul was digging the large TV. We met Cindy there and settled in.

Later we met Jud, Kara, and Kohans (Betsy, Wayne, son Paul and his gf Christine) at a little place called the Corner Office. It was fun catching up. At the last wedding (Amy & Corey's) we didn't get to chat much. Amy and Corey were at the rehearsal dinner. Later, all the youngsters ended at Amy and Corey's place for a few drinks. I love that they like hanging out. My niece Leslie's husband Jordan (not to be confused with her sis Jordan) seems to be a bit of an instigator. He kept them up late, coming up with interesting topics to discuss.

Doing the prep thing

On Saturday, Cindy, Paul and I took a long walk and settled into Sam's 3 for a big breakfast. Then we heard from Amy that Sister Susi (at the venue getting ready) was experiencing FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and wished for some visitors. Betso, Christine and I Ubered over to the venue and checked it out. We got to meet Jill's parents and chat with Susi, Jordan, Amy, and Les in the totally cool urban warehouse venue. After, we met up with the rest of the gang at Lucky Strike, a bowling alley in downtown, until it was time to get ready for the main event.

Look at this wedding cake topper - clones of the brides! 

Some jubilant faces

Ashley Alvillar and Amy are beaming, David Alvillar in the foreground

The wedding was so beautiful. Susi looked gorgeous with her lovely silver hair and gown. There was a solo of the song "I Want to Hold Your Hand". If you haven't seen the video, it includes the vows which say so much about how these two people feel about each other. The ceremony was perfect and Jordan's dress was so perfect. Jill was killing it in her outfit - it was so Jill. 

4 of my fave guys. Corey - not so secretly watching the Clemson game...

Susi with grandson James - so fun watching them interact

We got to see so many of our family members again! My cousins, the Lamms, with the family matriarch, Aunt Marty. Again - I love that we dig each other. I liked watching Marty watch her grandkids have fun together. I got to finally meet our great nephews James and Jonah and see David and Ashley Alvillar for the first time in a long while. One of my favorite parts of the evening was watching the three Alvillar siblings dance to - you guessed it, my song selection, "Love Shack".  Tin Roof...Rusted. Kara made sure that Paul, Cindy and I had the appropriate photos taken - for the guest book and at the photo booth. #shessosmart.

With Aunt Marty. Somebody took a cousin pic - but I didn't get a copy, hint, hint

It was much harder to say goodbye to everyone at this wedding - because I don't know when I'll see some of them again. Ugh. But...there is the Kohan wedding next August - so we have that going for us. Getting excited for Alex and Lisa!

Congrats again to Jordan and Jill. They have faced adversity because of who they are. It isn't easy to be someone who because of who they are, they do not conform to other's expectations and closely held beliefs. They are difference makers, helping to show that love is universal. We need more of it.

I swiped this photo off of Facebook - so good. 

We got to get together with just our kids on Sunday after Cindo dropped us off. I have to admit, I wasn't ready to leave! We walked to a food court type place for a bite - then Corey took off to host clients at the Broncos game and Amy delivered the rest of us to DIA for our flights. Can't wait to see them all again for Thanksgiving in STL!