More on Mom

I attended Marilyn Imming's funeral today. It was a beautiful service on a beautiful day in a gorgeous church with a fantastic singer. Marilyn would be so proud. Her family is very nice-looking. And I told Deb and Bec what Mrs. Wilcox told my sisters and me when she came to Dad's visitation. "None of you got fat either". Funny what sticks in your head from those events of your life.

So the events of this past month - Marilyn's lung cancer decline and death - got me to thinkin' (I know - dangerous stuff) about my mom and her death. It's been so long ago now - some 12 years since she died.

Pat Bullock wasn't easy to have as a mother. First I must say she was pretty smart - as she graduated near the top of her class at the University of Iowa. I found out (from Aunt Marty when we were in Denver) just why Mom and Dad got married after a short engagement. Mom was going to go to Paris before her senior year of college. When she got to New York City, the Korean War broke out. Dad was a ROTC guy and they knew he'd be called up eventually. So they got engaged in July and married the fall of their senior year.

Then Mom was preggers in 3 months and Susi was born just one year past their first anniversary. Long story short, they ended up back in good ol Atlantic - Dad's home town. Not too glam for a bright and beautiful college grad. She wasn't ever one of those little homemaker moms. I'm glad she raised us to be independent and self confident. (Though it took me practically until I was a mommy to get that way).

Somewhere along the line during Mom's life, she became very bitter. And, like many of her generation, she calmed her bitter nerves with her drug of choice - bourbon. Dad liked to drink too - perhaps even more than mom, but he was a fun drinker. She was not.

Mom was one of those "smart" drinkers. When she had her cocktails, she thought she was pretty f'in smart. She'd try to pick your brain, engage you in deep conversation. The stuff she wouldn't talk about sober. I'm sure she was frustrated over what "might have been" had she been born in a different age. Or married a different guy, in another town. Whatever.

Near the end of her life, when I was a young mother, she and Dad lived in Florida each winter in my fave place Marco Island. Paradise. For some reason she liked to call me after a couple pops (I could tell right away from her slurring voice) to get me going. Right about meal time for the family. Or she would call Cindo who wisely got caller ID. She'd complain about Dad and say how miserable she was.

I finally got fed up and yelled and screamed at her. That was after reasoning wouldn't work. I'd say "Leave him or suck it up". She'd say she wouldn't be left a pauper. And on it would go. Finally I would hang up, frustrated and angry. It was a sad way for a woman to live - someone with that much going for her. I believe she was clinically depressed, even before she was diagnosed. When she got sick, the calls stopped. Chemo took away her penchant for bourbon, but cancer soon took away her personality.

I made a vow never to drink every night like my folks did. So I'm more of a binge drinker - ha! Plus I'm a happy drinker. None of that morose feeling sorry for my self - at least until the hangover.

Mom and I had some good times too - and those are the things I thought about today. I miss her. I'm mad that she didn't get to know Amy and Jud as the great people they are today. How proud she would be of all her grandchildren. She woulda made a great old lady. Sans the booze and the attitude.

Monday, Monday

Mom, Dad, Pablo and me, around 1982.

So good to me. Not really, but I always did love that song. Poor Cass Elliot - an early death like so many of our talents in this world.

I slept through my alarm this a.m., so I awoke from an exciting dream - McKims and Paul and I driving around in an oversized Hawkeye golf cart that we ended up crashing. With that I awoke and checked my phone - it said the alarm had gone off a half hour before. Yikes! So I started in a rush.

I got to work by 7:30 a.m., so I did pretty well at catch up! And no more episodes of terrible cramps. Called Dr. Turner's office and spoke to a nurse. The Doc is off most of July - spose she's off to Italy again. So I make an appointment to see one of her partners, a man, thanks to a cancellation. I'll see him Wed. morning. As God is my witness I shall not suffer this curse month after month. I'll let you know what he says.

For Every Season

My bestie, Deb's mom passed away Saturday after a month in the hospice in Johnston. Marilyn had been diagnosed with lung cancer (and she was never a smoker) last winter around Christmas, after suffering from poor health for quite some time before that. She tried chemo and radiation for several weeks, but this spring they found that despite treatment the cancer wasn't giving up.

Deb and family found the same thing that we found with our parents, sometimes doctors don't want to give up. They feel like giving up is losing. But sometimes patients know best. At that point, they contacted hospice, an organization that knows how to treat people to help them live through the last stage of their life. Hospice empowers the dying person and their family.

Marilyn was able to live at home for a while, but her health slipped quickly. She was moved into the hospice a month ago and mercifully, finally passed on Saturday. It sure makes me think of my mom. I'm sorry Deb's is now gone too.

There's nothing like a mother, your own personal cheerleader. It's no fun being an orphan - even at 50! It's been 12 years since my mom died of lung cancer. In late summer 1996, Mom and I took a wonderful trip to Galena to meet Paul's sister Pat to deliver Amy for a visit with Pat's daughter Sarah, Amy's cousin.

After touring Galena, and buying some antiques, we traveled up the "coast" of Illinois and took a small ferry across to Iowa. Then we spent the night in Marquette, IA at a motel with a pink elephant in the drive and visited the riverboat casino there. Mom always did find the unique places to go. The next day we went to Bily Clocks in Spillville and Governor Larabee's Montauk Mansion in Clermont. Mom loved to learn.

That fall she called from Florida with the terrible news that she had lung cancer. She tried to sound brave. But she had to be frightened to death - she always thought she was too mean to get cancer - despite smoking 2 packs a day for some 50 years. It was small cell cancer, which can't be treated with surgery, so she tried chemo and radiation. But by the time she came home to Iowa in the spring of 1997, she was a shadow of her former self. It was downhill from there.

Paul and the kids and I planned to go to Vail for a vacation in August, even though Mom was in the Atlantic hospital. She seemed stable, and was at physical therapy when we stopped on our way through on our trip. Then later that day, when we pulled into Cindo's place in Vail, Cindy met us with the news that Mom had taken a terrible turn and we had to go back. Jud, age 8 said "I'm not going"! None of us were too eager to jump back into the car.

So the Alvillars drove over from Grand Junction, and we took off early the next day for the return trip. When we got to town, we rushed to see Mom who was suffering from a massive infection. To our dismay, there were no rooms at the Super 8, so we had to stay in the motel from hell - The Hawkeye that first night. Fitting name for a smoky, moldy place.

We spent most of the 2nd night sitting with Mom at the hospital, were we too learned the value of hospice. Even though Atlantic didn't have an actual hospice to put mom in, we were fortunate to have such an advocate for our family when the doctor wanted to continue to pump antibiotics into Mom. One night we had a great Dave Bullock steak dinner at Mom and Dad's place. There was lots of laughter.

It was an ugly way to die. Gasping for breath. Ironically, we walked by the respiratory therapist smoking in the entry of the hospital a couple times. How crazy is that?

Mom waited for me to go to the bathroom before she took her last breath. Guess she wanted to protect me even then. It was a relief when she was gone after that suffering. It was permanent. Even though the real mom had been gone for a few months. It was hard to face that she was no longer of this world.

I had a dream with both my parents in it the other night. They only had bit parts, but they were there. It was comforting. No matter how long they're gone, they'll always be with me.

Female problems

Men (if I do have any male readers out there besides my beloved Pool Boy) avert your eyes. This blog is not for you. In fact for many of you it will be TMI. If you are squeamish about bodily functions, do not read this piece. But I feel compelled to tell my story, lest others out there are suffering as I have.

It all started a month or so ago. You might recall I found some lovely white pants to wear for my big work-related speaking engagement. I was stressed preparing for my part - talking in front of some 100 people from around the state including my bosses at a conference. I didn't sleep well that week and, though I haven't had a menstrual period for some 2 years, I was experiencing painful menstrual like cramps during the night.

Let me backtrack by explaining that exactly 2 years ago I underwent a procedure called uterine ablation to fry the lining of my uterus, so it would stop hemorrhaging huge amounts of blood each month. I blamed it my saggy baggy old uterus, as when I was younger I didn't have that problem. After the surgery I had a little spotting (I know - icky visual) for a couple months when I would have had a period. But then nothing! It was a miracle. And at first I did seem to still have all the other monthly signs - puffiness, breaking out on my chin, and yes - I know you find this hard to believe - bitchiness. But over this past winter, I had lost track of my period and wasn't even sure if I was cycling any more.

I had my annual physical earlier in May, and was scheduled to have my blood work done. I suggested to Sheryl my examiner (Nurse Practitioner, originally from Creston now practicing in Johnston) that I'd like to know if I was in menopause, along with the usual checking of liver and seeing what my cholesterol levels are.

So I was convinced I had ovarian cancer, until the blood work results came in and lo and behold. I'm not in menopause. So I was having menstrual symptoms, just no period. I figured it was just regular cramps though they were more painful than past cramps. After a few days, they were done. I talked to Sheryl and she said take Tylenol.

Then came this past week - 1 month after the first crampy episode. About Wednesday, I was again uncomfortable. Very painful cramps while sitting at an all day meeting - took meds and felt better later in the day. Came home Thursday and walked hard with my buddies Friday a.m. Cramps later in the day, but sleeping okay.

Saturday morning. Awaken around 7 a.m. painful cramps. Knee-buckling, moaning pain. Like contractions when I was in labor. Call my Doc's office (the one who did the ablation) Take Tylenol, hot bath. Doc's partner calls back - says take pain meds, hot pad. Look online for possible causes - may be post ablation problems.

Cry it hurts so bad! - low around my ovaries. Pressure. Drugs help a bit. Ate lunch and tried to go to WalMart for necessities. Feel pressure pain coming back - break out in a cold sweat paying for my purchases. Drive home. Hot pad, doesn't help - get in the tub again. Such pressure - finally, a gush in the tub. I'm bleeding! Pass several clots in the tub. (Not to be confused with the time I had an epiphany in the tub) Cry in the tub. But finally pressure is less. Thank God that's what I needed. It was like giving mini-birth!

So now I'm spotting. Plan to call my Doc in DM Monday. Jeeez. I don't need this! Eff womanhood, I want to be done with this crap. I don't want to plan my months around bleeding. My life commuting is complex enough already! Plus that pain. I don't think I've been in that much pain since...well I can't remember when. That was like a 7 or 8 on a scale of 10.

We'll see what Dr. Francesca Turner says. I love being a mommy and pregnancy was a miracle and all. But I am now old - all I have to do is look in the mirror to be reminded. Pleez doc make it go away again! The curse is right. And looking back - thank GOD I didn't begin hemorrhaging in my white pants during my talk for work, or at Wal Mart in the checkout line. Cleanup on Aisle 8!

It was hell

I always liked the quote from one of my most valued B. Kliban books that Vicki and I loved in college. Pithy sayings with line drawing cartoons. Words to live by! Things like "Chiggers can be boozers" with a picture of a drunk chigger in a gutter with a bottle (instead of beggars can't be choosers), and "Hey Cuba, eat my Florida". Funny!

One was a picture of a grizzled old guy saying "It was hell recalled former child!" Except it wasn't hell. It was just much different than today's children experience. At book club the other night we discussed the stuff we used to do since there wasn't much on TV and we didn't have all those sophisticated video games etc. Plus there were more kids in our neighborhood, due to larger families.

We spent a great deal of time playing outdoors this time of year. Our house was a newer house on the edge of an older neighborhood - address 202 Crombie Place. It was a great place to grow up! Just down the big hill (bad idea to ride my trike down it that time - crash and burn!) was Fairlawns - a post WWII housing development with small starter homes filled with families.

The amounted to a lotta kids to play with! We did lots of running around. You could usually ride around on your bike and scrounge up something to do. Our next door neighbors, the Reinertsons had kids about the same age as each of us - either 1 year older or younger. We spent a lot of time with that family. Oh how I loved it when the older kids allowed us to join into their games! Freeze tag, Sardines, some ghost game where you said "1 o'clock and the ghosts are out" and so on. Kick the can caused Katherine Reinertson to cut her foot once - poorly chosen coffee can.

Most days were spent at the Country Club pool where we were on the go constantly. Baby pool, big pool, chairs to tip and cover with a towel to make a fort, snack shop, locker room, TV room. We watched Dark Shadows each day. We played Shark and Nibbles. We pretended to take each other's photo while going off the diving board. It was all great fun.

I'm sorry kids today have to be so supervised, and that they can't move about as freely as we did in the good old days. It's much more complicated for them to have a play date. They probably don't often get so busy that they forget to eat like we did. Finally Mom or Dad would track us down and we'd come in for a meal. Bathtime was truly needed after a day of all those activities. We were the lucky ones!

TGIF

I know - I didn't even work a whole lot on Monday. But this week felt longish! I was happy to get home yesterday evening - in time to eat a nice grilled steak with veggies, and head to Book Club. It was a delightful time as usual.

We got to swim in Thea's pool - which is complete with a new liner. As I recall for the past 5 years or so, Thea has been saying "this liner is on borrowed time!" Evidently it came due this summer. After a series of false starts, and gallons 'o water, the above ground pool, surrounded by a deck, is looking good! There is a nice new table and fancy (difficult to figure out) dangling umbrella as well.

Wine has been popular at the last couple meetings and Ramona brought a fancy ice cream bucket ice bucket to chill the vino while we swam. Francie had showered and didn't wear her suit, so we named her the official book "Water for Elephants" question reader, as the rest of us bobbed in the refreshing water of the pool.

We all liked the book. It was a little depressing to start - the old guy narrator was in a nursing home. It made me call my years (6 months) delivering oxygen to comatose people in nursing homes. When I remembered to push the big red button to get in the door (without releasing old folks), I was often faced with comatose patients who I was leery of touching. Ick!

But I enjoyed the book, which I'm sure contained a number of truths about circuses back in the 1930's. While I would proclaim not to like going to the circus, I must admit my Girl Scout trip to the Shrine Circus at Vets was quite exciting. We had to hold onto a rope to make sure we didn't get lost walking in. Then, when our children were little, Dad bought them tickets to the Carson and Barnes circus in Atlantic - big top at the airport. The acrobats were fabulous, and I was amazed at the athletic ability of the clowns and tumblers.

Anyways, last night was fine - book club and a night with my honey - though I wrenched myself out of bed early this a.m. for a 4-mile walk with my buds. A teeth cleaning, lunch with Pablo and a session with Amber, returning my hair to a low and high-lighted condition completed the day. Ahhhh. Then Amy texted me with the news that she scored a part time job marketing for a wine/gourmet shop. Score! Life is good.

2 icons gone

Jacko and Farrah are gone. I'm sorry their lives turned out so badly. Back in their heydays (is that a word?) they were on top of the world. Who could have known their lives would turn out so tragically, each in their own F*&(ed up way.

Michael and the Jackson 5 first hit the scene when I was a youngster - not yet a teen. When I got a little record player for my 13th birthday, I kept it under my bed, pulling it out to listen to my Jackson 5 album on Motown Records each night. I loved "Stop the Love You Save". Michael was such a rockin' little dude!

Through the years, we all know the story as told by the press. As with many people who get idolized from childhood, he became mentally unstable. (good thing I've been hard on our kids - no idols they...) But he did put out some great music in the meantime. Billy Jean, Gonna Rock Tonight, Thriller - all great songs. He was a pop icon. Just today, before I heard about his illness and death I listened to Will You Be There, thinking to myself about how it had been a while since we'd seen anything of the reclusive star. A little premonition perhaps. (watch for me solving crimes and predicting the future on a TV show near you soon)

Farrah - I think half the guys dorm rooms in 1977 had the famous poster up. Everyone tried to do the Farrah hair. (Except me, the girl without the girl/hair gene) They said on TV that she was only on Charlie's Angels one season. Wha? I was surprised! It sure seemed like longer! Sally, Jane, Vic and I used to watch Charlie's Angel (or Chuck's Chicks) in the "den" of our dorm floor, critiquing hairstyles and acting. As if we were goddesses ourselves. Somehow, ragging on Farrah boosted my ego. Right before Chuck's Chicks we watched My 6 Legs (My 3 Sons). My weren't we clever???

At first I liked it when Farrah got together with Ryan O'Neal. He was so handsome in the movie "Paper Moon" - quite the scoundrel. And Tatum was so cute. They both ended up F'ed up too. Hmm perhaps it's a good thing my childhood dreams of fame and fortune didn't come true!

Here's to you Michael and Farrah - you did entertain! And what fodder you've provided for the media for years to come. Anything to forget the recession...

Recession cheer?

Do you think the recession is making people friendlier? Or at least making them act nicer to customers? I pondered this during our recent trip, when everywhere I went, workers were greeting me cheerily. And they didn't even seem like they were faking it.

Are people truly more thankful for their jobs than they were only a year or so ago? Most of us know people who have been affected by the economic situation. In Colorado, my sis Cindo had to take a pay cut, putting her back to a salary rate similar to what it was a couple years ago despite more responsibility today. Her husband Bolder had to take a big commission hit on his bar supply job. I know others who have had furlough days. Though Iowa has not been hit as hard as other places, we are feeling some pain.

Iowa DNR, my employer, just came out with an unpaid leave policy, encouraging staff to take non-paid time off (if their supervisor supports it). Our department is not supported by general tax funds so I don't think our bosses are too keen on the idea of trash folk taking time off. I wonder who is suppposed to take on job duties, as there are unfilled positions plus people taking unpaid leave? Eventually this rubber band will be stretched a little thin!

Amy is struggling in her job hunt in her new city Denver. One position she applied for had some 500 applicants. Argh - how do you compete with that many people when you have few local connections? I tell her just keep plugging away. Anyone out there - suggestions appreciated! While she graduated in graphic design, I believe she's open to all types of jobs.

Jobs are important. It's important that we like our jobs! I've described some of my jobs in previous blogs. No I didn't like all of them all the time. I had to "settle" for employment where I could get it through most of my working career - at least until 1998 when I became a fledgling trash lady. But there were good things about most of my jobs -mostly the people I worked with. They all became friends!

I hope you find your job rewarding!

'Rado

Amy and Jud in front of Amy's Pearl St. Apartment

Julia and Marcella with Sun the wonder dog

So we road tripped it to Colorado last weekend. In truth we started on Thursday, so it was more like a long weekend. We took off mid afternoon across Highway 34 West, deciding to skip Omaha during rush hour.

Did I mention we were pulling a dinky U-Haul? Well we were. It was filled with Amy's stuff - some furniture and fixins for her new apartment. It pulled pretty easy - especially with Paul driving the whole time cuz Jud and I were too chicken. At least that's what we let him think.

I had programmed Gar the Garmin GPS for Amy's address in Denver when we started our journey. Gar had a hard time with the route change - reminding us often that we were off track when we stayed on Highway 34 instead of going thru Omaha. The topper was when I finally told her to route us to I-80 and she turned us onto a gravel road for about 5 miles. I believe I detected a little smirk in her voice about then...

We stayed in North Platte at a nice motel - even splurged for a suite so Jud had his own room. Got a pretty good night's sleep. The motel had a decent breakfast the next a.m. and we got an early start. Good thing too, as we ran into a traffic jam in Denver. Amy was waiting outside her Pearl Street apartment perched in among other historic apartment buildings. My aunt says it's a gay area, but I didn't detect any swishiness about.

Our game plan was to unload the trailer while double parked near Amy's building. It worked out pretty well until a Coke delivery truck decided he just HAD to go down Pearl St. at that moment in time. So Paul barked out a few swear words before ordering Amy to hop in with him to go around the block - lest he get losted. (remember yesterday's homage to Pablo - yes even good dads snap once in a while. but they don't punch people or crash the car in anger)

Jud and I continued to carry items into the apartment while Amy and Paul took the U-Haul back. Paul put the new WalMart bed platform together while Amy and I unloaded boxes of kitchen stuff and dishes. We had a quick lunch at a panera place close by - we walked. It was a goreous day - one of those days that makes me wonder why I live in Iowa where it's hot and humid or damp and cold much of the time!

That afternoon we shopped at Cherry Creek Mall - pretty upscale compared to Merle Hay...or Creston. Then we stopped at my Aunt Marty and Uncle Bill's beautiful townhouse where we were staying for the next 2 nights. We sat and chatted with them for quite some time, and then had a nice meal at a nearby restaurant. It sure felt good to have our fam of 4 back together again! It's fun to see A&J interact as (nearly) adults.

When we went back to Marty and Bill's, A&J took off to go to her place for the night. We took a nice walk with Bill and the dog around their condo complex. Very pretty area. As moving days go, it was a good one.

In the morning we picked A&J up on our way to visit my buddy Julia and her cute 8 year old daughter Marcella. (hubby Jeff and older daughter Zetta were camping, but due to J's cold J&M stayed home). Julia lives just outside Boulder in a little community called Eldorado Springs. They have an awesome homey home nestled against the hill. It is walking distance to a state park where rock climbers were busy hanging from ropes and repeling. We took an hour long hike along with Marcells, Jules and golden retriever Sun.

After the hike, we headed into Boulder to a brew pub for chow. We were fortunate to time it so we got to sit outside and see a live performance by an old English type group. I suggested to Paul that he take up that hobby instead of hunting. He shot dagger eyes at me! LOL I'm so glad Julia and I hooked up and now Amy has another friend in the area. One who does massages!

On our way back to Denver we stopped at S Target for a few more apartment things for Amo. Then it was on to Amy's to drop the kids off to clean up for a gathering at Marty's.

Paul and I didn't get to Marty's too long before sis Cindo showed up along with the Bolder, her hubby. Then others began trickling in - Cousin Rich, Cousin Amy and her hubby Tom and then the kids with Amy's friend Neal. It was our first meeting with the guy Amy has spent a great deal of time with this past 6 months. We didn't hate him! J/K. He seems very nice - thumbs up from all.

It was great catching up with the family. We dined on pizza and "happy" cakes. In the a.m. after bidding goodbye to Marty and Bill with fond thanks, we stopped to show Cindy and Bolder Amy's cute place. Then we had brunch at a restaurant a few blocks away - another gorgeous sunny one so we walked. We took off for home shortly after, leaving our baby girl to assemble her stuff into her personal cocoon of Amyness. It was a great weekend.

Amy Neal and Bolder in his eternal cutter and buck jacket

Dads in my life

Our trip to Colorado was excellent. More about that later - but now I'd like to pay tribute to the Dads in my life. First, my dad David Judson Bullock (above, in purple with Cindo, Paul and me). Dad is gone (he passed away in late 2006) but definitely not forgotten.

I can't claim that Dad was the best dad ever. He traveled each week for his job in ladies' underwear, with O'Bryan Brothers who made Lorraine Lingerie. When he did come home on Friday nights, he was ready for fun. He didn't spend hours throwing the softball with me, though he did try to (unsuccessfully) teach me to play golf. Note to parent - don't try to coach your own child in golf, at least not after they turn 13 or so.

He did teach me to drive and back then we had a 4 speed Chevy Vega with a clutch friction point that was 1 millimeter in length. Easy to kill. Why he had me go up the YMCA hill I'll never know. Dad snapped my bra back when I wasn't too keen on wearing one - humiliating me. He was also a bit of a sadist, doing snake bites on my arm and that finger thing that hurts a lot when you try to get away.

He also liked to laugh - and is the reason I never call anyone by their real name. As I've said before I was Looseleaf to him. He had little sayings that will forever be with me - no not things like "A stitch in time" advicey things. More like we're going to a "sherky toot from Kenver, Dolorado". And when Betsy would ask "what are we having for supper Daddy? he'd say things like Snake for steak and Dead Chicken. He was a great griller!

Here's to you BFD (Big Fat Daddio) - I miss ya!

The other Dad in my life is the father of my kids - my beloved Pablo the Poolboy. The picture above is from our recent Denver trip - delivering Amy's stuff to her. Though his own father was much like mine - dads were a lot more "hands off" with kids when we were growing up. Except when it came to discipline!

Even so he jumped right into parenting right from the start - changing diapers, feeding the kids, bathtime. All the tasks that come with kids. During the school years he helped them with special projects - like making a vehicle powered with a mouse trap. Or building a city from wood.

Sometimes he acts kind of hard on them. But they know that under that sometimes crusty exterior he's a cream puff. Paul spent countless hours coaching both kids in a variety of sports. He tossed the base/softball, threw footballs, kicked the soccer ball. He organized traveling teams.

And these days he's still on their team. Showing them how to mow the lawn and put up a picture on the wall. Making sure they've covered their bases (sports analogy even in this stage of their lives). When they're out of line, he calls them on it.

As Amy and Jud grow up, they are beginning to realize just what a wonderful father they have. Sometimes they even tell him! Here's to you Dad and Paul - you rock!

My froat

I have a sore froat. That's what the kids used to call it. Hope it's not the gleap that Paul and Jud just had.

We're heading to Denver this weekend to deliver "stuff" to Amy (the name means beloved). She has lived without much stuff for the past 10 months, pretty much since she graduated from college. Most of her stuff has been in our basement since then.

First she lived in Des Moines with the Smiths - her host family for her Democratic Party work job. It was a good situation - living in their lovely home free. But as I now know, it's just not the same as having your own place with your stuff.

Then when she moved to Vail, CO for her Beaver Creek gig, she lived with her Auntie Cindy (my sis) and Uncle Boldy. Again - good situation, low rent but not much of her own stuff. Her Beano's Restaurant gig was done early in April and she's been a nomad since then - living with a friend, and staying with my Aunt Marty and Uncle Bill.

I think it's been a carefree life, most of the time. But by late May she was chomping at the bit to get into her new apartment (old with hardwood floors) on Pearl Street in Denver. She had to wait for a guy to move out of the place so she could move in with Carrie - a new friend.

So it's finally time for her to get stuff. I know she's excited to see us, her fam. Even Jud is coming along. (Alas she won't get any Odie loving - Odie is going to Lila the puppy sitter) But I am sure she's elated to be getting her stuff. To be able to settle into her own place, with her own belongings. We're even taking Grandpa's chair to her. It will be like a hug from him when she sits there. Ahhhh Home!

Fave author

I'd have to say Carol O'Connell is one of my favorite authors. I've read all of the books by the author that I can get my hands on. One online review of her books says this, "authentic, surreal voice of New York, less gritty than Andrew Vachss but no less powerful, hard-eyed, and fierce, and her central character, New York police detective Kathy Mallory."

I like Andrew Vachss books too, but nobody can spin suspense and multifaceted characters like O'Connell. Characters are flawed, and the main ones havee a little mean sadistic streak. Hmmm just like real people! In the Kathy Mallory series, Mallory is always one step ahead of me. She's quirky and a bit crazy. At times she's a sociopath, but then shows a heart.

The online review (located here: http://www.dancingbadger.com/carol_oconnell.htm) goes on to say, "The Mallory novels are classic mysteries. In each, there is a central crime, a main event that not only sets things in motion but remains the primary driving force throughout the narrative. In each, the 'real killer' is obvious after the fact but false leads and misdirection make the revelation a surprise. Typically, the real killer is less interesting than other characters either morally ambiguous or simply but less obviously evil."

I just listened to O'Connell's latest offering while commuting. It was called "Bone By Bone" and was the best book I've read/heard for quite some time. This wasn't a Mallory book. There were 8 or so characters and each of them were very well developed. There weren't any sex scenes (dammit), but there was a scene the described two of the main characters doing the Tango. It was hot!

If you like suspense, check out a Carol O'Connell book soon.

Skirting the edge

Sometimes I think I'm just skirting the edge of sanity. But I just keep plugging away and it fades, and I keep living my life. Does everybody feel like that? I suppose it's because I spend so much time doing things alone when I'm up here. Do single lonely people feel like that all the time?

And couples - do they go slowly crazy together? Sometimes when one interacts with older couples one realizes how wacky they get. I can see it in my own life. You just settle into a weird routine. It involves food, television, laundry, pets - the things of our lives.

For example, I always felt guilty that I didn't brush my first dog, Moki's teeth more. So I got in the habit of brushing Odie's when I am home. So she got in the habit of (remember Pavlov's Dog?) standing by me when I brush mine each night. So I got her a little sesame street toothbrush. I put her up on the counter and give 'em a brush.

I know. That is pretty weird. But Paul is accustomed to it - he acts like it's perfectly normal. So think about the things I could start doing and he would just accept it. And viceversa! I'm sure there are some weird and strange things he does too - though I can't rightly think of any right off the bat...

Toofers

We're getting ready for a "stuff" run out to Denver for Amy. I guess it's official, she's staying for a year - at least that's how long her lease runs. Now a job to go with it would be nice. (Fingers crossed and all that).

Paul and I entered the lair of the basement to look over said stuff. That might not seem like a big deal to you, but I don't go in the basement. I'm not a basement person, and avoid it both consciously and un. But, yeah I went there and we dug thru the stuff that has been stored in the fireplace room. After Dad died, and we (my sisters and I) went thru his condo in Atlantic, I set aside some of the usable things for our kids. And when Amy graduated from ISU last spring, more was put down there - the black hole of things.

Amy, being somewhat anal, labeled things when she was back in April with a little Denver post-it. That organized anality (made up word, yep) will be helpful when we load the U-Haul Thursday. Along with looking over the things we'll be taking, Pablo and I went thru the shelves of knick knacks. Lotta stuff that needs to go! (avert your eyes Amy)

Life gets weighed down by stuff. Some articles might have a particular emotional pull. But you can only have so much of that too! We came across the wooden box Mom bought for Amy (I think??) full of envelopes for the tooth fairy (TF). Most envelopes simply contained a tooth. Others were marked with name and date. But ewww who needs tiny teeth, unless one is a witch or voodoo queen.

Amy, being the funny creative girl she is, sometimes wrote little notes to the TF on the tooth envelope. One said "Dear Tooth Fairey (spelled like that) I love you sooo much! I (by the way I am dying to get a CD Player. A red camaro would be nice too!) signed Amy your BEST CUSTOMER" (keep in mind the TF usually left a $1 bill)

plus she included other tidbits: "my tooth doesn't have a cavaty "(she was never a great speller)

"I floss now"

"Go Jazz" her NBA/WNBA phase I guess

"I was you for Halloween once" - she was, we were really pretty creative when it came to Halloween.

Very informative Amy! She did little things like that when she was young - writing me notes when I was upset, or for mothers day. If you ever read her blog - there's some of that snarky sense of humor in there yet! I'm glad I get to see her soon. Note: Jud's tooth envelopes said not one thing. Ah strong silent type.

Fist bumps

I just had an epiphany! Fist bumps are much more sanitary than high fives or hand shakes. Another reason to do them. I vow to start doing more fist bumps - they're kinda like a little hug, with out the tenderness of course.

Hmm deep thoughts by LBG. (we'll see how this goes, I tried walking the dog without a kleenex in my pocket last night and my nose itched and dripped, so I wished I'd taken one along - I'm so damn sensible).

I worked at home today and it was good! First I got up and walked with Patti and Susan - a nice way to start the day. Then I showered and had my usual cereal breakfast while reading a hard copy of the DM Register. When I'm in the office I have to look at the Register online, which isn't nearly as satisfying. In fact it's much like eating 100 calorie packets of Lorna Doones vs. the real thing. After a while I want to say "ptooey on you fake snacks". And fake newspaper.

Anyways, I hopped on my laptop around 7:30 a.m. I must admit I keep the Today Show on while I work - hey it's no more distracting than listening to Hylton from contaminated sites talk about the rain suit he purchased, and how much he paid (yet again...). I perused my email - both work and home, as I still get many work-related emails on my lgold email.

I can read my work emails from my own laptop and access my saved email and contacts, which is convenient but can be confusing - especially when I email from my laptop to work and it comes back to me via my work email addie. I also worked on busy-work - those calculations I must do to determine how solid waste planning areas are doing on diverting waste from the landfills in the state.

After a nice lunch at the Elms with my favorite Pool Boy (Paul G. Goldsmith - Pablo), and Steve Crittenden, I stopped at the Creston Library and at HyVee. Then it was back to work, until John Cook arrived with my new washer and dryer. yay!

It started to rain around 2 and it's been coming steadily down since then. The neighbors are having a family gathering across the street - Odie has amused herself by barking at kids and dogs periodically. Knucklehead! I worked until just after 4 and am now watching Oprah. Much more relaxing than my days at the Wallace Bldg, but prolly not so productive.

I may just have to have a lemondrop or two tonight, once my friend Mary gets here. I can feel my endorphins getting ready to kick in! Hope you have a nice weekend too...

I'm a scofflaw

Not really, but I do like that word. I did go 70+ mph when passing a slow-goer in a 55+ zone today. That's when the word popped into my head. And I decided I liked it!

That was after decided a one word description of myself would be "sensible". Shit! How did I end up being sensible? I want to be madcap and scofflaw. But I'm too damn no-nonsense. I vow to try to do some little things to get out of my ordinary life comfort zone.

Like...I may just leave the house WITHOUT a tissue in my pocket. Yeah, take that! Then I can just sniff annoyingly. And I might just each my lunch at breakfast and my breakfast at lunch. I'm going to speak first to people who aren't really looking at me. I'm going crazy now...

Speaking of crazy, my good friend Mary is coming for a visit tomorrow. In reality she's coming for a wedding, but we get to see her! When Mar and I get together it seems like she never moved away. Can't wait!

Ridin' the bus

I rode the bus today to the Land Quality Bureau retreat at the Annett Center in Indianola. It got me to thinking about bus drivers. Most of the drivers I've known are a certain personality - both nurturing and safety conscious.

I wasn't a bus kid when I attended Washington Elementary in Atlantic, Iowa. In fact we walked to school in the morning taking the shortcut through the "woods" - 10 yard wide strip of trees that ran the length of our block. Then we walked home for lunch - peanut butter and lettuce sandwiches on white bread. So I only got to ride the bus for special occasions like field trips.

When I hit high school, I rode the bus for sports. We always had nice drivers, but I don't remember their names. My most important sports memories are from the bus ride. We always had fun chatting. The best part was we got everywhere safely.

I believe the bus drivers I know best are the guys that drove the kids to their sporting events - Darwin and Lee. Lee is a quiet guy, genial and a sports fan. Darwin is like no other. He drives a school bus during the day too and is great with the kids. He gently teases them and they can tell he cares.

Darwin would share road information with us and we called his cell to find out what the weather was like on road trips. He also serves as the MC of the prom grand entry each year. The kids enjoy how he does the introductions. Darwin is also an auctioneer, who does great things when doing auctions for charity. He's good at parting folks from their $ while making them laugh!

When Paul and I went to Italy to visit Amy we were on a tour, with a guide and driver. I confess I don't remember the driver's name - but he was quiet and effective. Plus he lugged those heavy bags in and out.

Today, one of my co-workers, Mel (he has his CDL) drove us to Indianola. Mel is a take-charge guy who seems to be very effective at his job. (He used to be the tire recycling guy so I've known him for years). We arrived safe and sound.

At the retreat, Brian the Bureau Chief was talking about different types of people - ones who like to ride and ones who like to drive the bus. I found that to be ironic - when I had been pondering bus drivers and their personalities earlier this morning. While I enjoy a nice bus ride and I usually let Paul drive when we travel, I can't seem to help myself when it comes to work and life situations. At this point in my career, I am pretty sure of myself and am definitely driving, while carefully avoiding the other vehicles of course.

Retreat

Tomorrow we have a non-retreat Retreat for work. I don't know why they call it that. Perhaps it is because we're only traveling a half hour south to Indianola for the meeting. Our whole bureau - Land Quality is supposed to attend. That includes Underground Tanks and Contaminated Sites as well as Solid Waste and Financial and Business Assistance - the two sections I work with.

I'm taking the bus to Indianola from the Wallace Building along with many of my co-workers. Should I take a book along to read while we ride, or chat? Should I be shy or outgoing? I spose it depends on my mood for the day. I'll report more on this development tomorrow!

Job-hunting - doesn't it suck? I've been trying to help Amy look for jobs in Denver. Job hunting is one of the biggest ego pummeling activities ever! When I looked for jobs - I would find things I knew I'd be good at. Then I couldn't even get an interview...

Good luck Amy. Kick job hunting ass!

Finally see Jane

Me, Vic, Jane, Sal at an ISU football game in Iowa City - looks like we're losing!


I finally got to see my college roomie Jane tonight. I had emailed her a couple times about getting together now that I live in Waukee part time. Jane has lived here for some 14 years or so. She and her husband David bought a rural place way back then, and now the town has grown around them.

I've known Jane since 1976 - so 33 years. Geez that makes me feel old. She lived on my dorm floor with my longtime friend Sally starting 1/2 way through our freshman year and during our sophomore year. Then when we were juniors, we moved into our place at 230 Campus Avenue - Sally, Jane, Vicki and I. We were all great friends and shared everything.

Jane and David have 3 kids - Morgan is 14, Cole is 12 and Jacob is 10ish. Only Morgan was there tonight. We had a nice quiche with fruit and a salad. Yummy and quite nice compared to my usual restaurant food.

As with most old friends, the years seem to melt away when we talk. We know each other's families well - including nieces and nephews. So there was a lot of catching up to do. Jane does real estate appraisals in addition to all her kid running. David is a Des Moines fireman.

Jane is a good friend. Being with her makes me miss her - know what I mean?

Folks were flamin' outta control

It was so entertaining when the boogie started to roll, I heard somebody say "Burn baby burn, disco inferno". Not really - it was more of a rock and roll 70's party - not disco. Nonetheless that's the song I had stuck in my head all week, in anticipation of "That 70's Party" at the Val Air Ballroom in DM Saturday night.

Ten of us from Creston (due to recent negative publicity, we avoided telling anyone where we were from) attended the big event - a fundraiser for several children's charities. It ended up being fairly pricey - I thought the food was included in the $25 ticket price, but it was a separate fee. Beers were $5 too. Oh what the hell - it was for a good cause and we don't party in DM too often!

We got there early - we're old. In our defense, the info said it started at 6:3o, so we got there a little after that. It was fun seeing people drive up in their lime green VW van - the driver had an awesome afro and platform shoes and his gal had a cool 1 piece jumpsuit (and had quite the abs I must say). Deb dressed the most retro of our group with her polyester shirt tied at the waist and a tank (almost a tube top), underneath.

We snagged a table and had a bit of food. Our group included Pat and Susan [their significant others declined this awesome event - Susan's sweetie prolly doesn't remember the 70's - haha he's young but not quite that young...], Deb and Larry, Bobbie and Jeff and Diana and Don. Plus my honey Pablo the Poolboy and me. Fun group!

Then we people-watched. Lots of folks came in dressed to the 9's in 70's garb. One chick (Pat later learned, by using her Law and Order questioning tactics, that the chick is 40 years old) was in a Dream of Jeannie outfit. The guys were drooling. Sproing (the noise she made when she did magic). Some guys had great wigs and outfits, sideburns and all. Other people went more with the hippy look.

We drank and danced. And talked about cars we had - Pinto, Mustangs, VWs, Torinos. Beer we drank - Olympia, Hamms, PBR, Old Milwaukee, Old Style, Coors, Red White and Blue and more. We reminisced of hair styles, clothes and music. There was a cool slide show during the event with pics from the 70's - Farrah Fawcet, Doors, The Godfather.

The band - Boomerang was excellent! They could do the Stones, Doobies, Steely Dan and more. I forgot how hard some of those 70's tunes were to dance to. But we managed. After 10, when the band took a break, we decided to head to downtown DM to see what was happening. While I'm in DM a lot, I don't get out on the town.

We went to Highlife Lounge near Court Ave. - it's right out of the 60's. In fact it's much like the Eagles Club in Creston! We drank 6 oz. Miller High Life beers, followed by a dessert slippery nipple shot. Designated drivers Don and Deb got free pop. We were home by 1:30 a.m. or so. My poolboy drank more beer than he has in quite some time. Of course I got another migraine - even though I didn't even drink that much. But it was worth it!

We had a bitchin' good time!

Busy

Last night the deck looked nothing like this shot from after a storm...

Yep, I was too busy to blog last night. I was sittin' on the deck, taking in a beautiful Iowa evening with my buddies and my beloved. (who is under the weather I might add). It all started like this...(flashback music)

I was sitting in my chair after 4:30 PM on a Friday. I had my annual mammogram at 3 PM at the hospital - they have a new digital mammo machine, (two tits (thumbs) up rating from me) that gives them an image they can view right away to tell if it will work. So I was back home trying to get some work done on a goal progress calculation for my job.

My phone rang - it was Bobbie checking to see what was going on for the evening. I hadn't given it much thought, hanging loose to see what was happening. We decided to think it over and talk later. In the meantime, I had an urge to have people over to sit on our deck. I texted McKims and Higgins and told Bobbie to come on over - Jeff could join us when he was done haying.

The house didn't look too bad - cleaned last weekend, and Paul doesn't mess it up much. I stared into the frig and realized how little party like good we had. Paul dug thru the chip/snack cabinet - a bunch of stale stuff that needed to be tossed. And the biggest problem GASP - only 1 lemon. Not enough for multiple lemondrop martinis!

So Paul made a quick HyVee run - he needed beer anyways. And we were on! I sprang into action, getting liquor out for the marvy concoction - made with 3/4 shot triple sec, 1 shot lemon vodka, juice from half a lemon and a splash of sweet and sour. The cup is rimmed in sugar after using the rind to make the edge sticky. Shake over crushed ice, Ahhh! Diana, Bobbie and I each had 2 small ones. Then we were cut off! I switched to cheap chardonnay, but only had one glass before feeling my old nemesis, migraine come on.

McKims brought a cheese/meat plate and Sharon had some delectable chicken/bacon things and dip. That was my supper. We laughed a lot - which makes the work week seem a whole lot less important...

My husband the TV star

Paul at his 50th birthday party last year

I'm watching a Iowa Public Television show on the devastation of last year's floods. The TV crew came to Creston and interviewed Paul for this special last winter. So he should be on coming up sometime in the next half hour. This is the IPTV link to the segment: http://www.iptv.org/video/detail.cfm/3883/tij_20090604_230/format:wmv

It's the full 26 minute segment of the show. He's on around minute 11.

You probably think Paul (Pablo the Poolboy) is only an expert in caring for pools. Not so. His real job, for the past 26 years has been as a conservationist - working for the federal government to prevent soil runoff, making the world safe for humankind. Ha!

What he does is pretty important. The things we've done to the land for the past hundred years has affected water quality - putting land into crop production that was never meant to grow crops. Clearing and tilings field and other land development in areas in the flood plain have have helped encourage quick runoff to Iowa's streams.

They just had his clip - speaking to interviewer from his office, with old pics of Amy and Jud in the background. Awww. And he sounds so damn smart and authoritative! I'm proud that my honey is somebody known around the state as an expert in his field. Plus he's pretty cute too.

Garage sale

My neighbor in Creston is having a garage sale. I was just over scoping out the stuff for Amy - who is due to move into her new apartment any day. My neighbor's mom-in-law used to have her own furniture/gift store in town and so much of the stuff is from that store.

I had a garage sale only once in my life. Once was enough! It took hours to carry all the stuff out and price it. People creepily started circling our house in their cars the day before the sale - staking the place out.

Then, and the set day of course they arrived much earlier than the appointed time. Damn - can't you read a clock? And no matter what price I put on stuff - they wanted to haggle it down. Like something for a quarter and they'd say - will you take $.20 for these? Jeeeez. Yeah, hey I have an idea - why don't I pay YOU to take them!

In the club

My niece Leslie emailed me yesterday about a friend who gave birth to a stillborn baby girl. She wanted to know if I, as the parent of a baby that also died, had any words of wisdom for her friend. I believe time helps, but there are just so many tears you need to cry. After nearly 18 years, those tears are rare, but we still think about how things might be different if Patrick was around.

So now niece Leslie's friend is in the club nobody should ever have to be in. And she got booted out of the "things like that happen to other people" club. I'll be thinking of her, and her husband and the grief journey they're on. I hope people wrap this couple in their arms and help them through this process.

On to cheerier topics. Last night I met Paul and friends in Norwalk at the Creston/DCG boy's soccer game. The boys lost, unfortunately, but it was fun seeing Lucy and Jim and Joan and Greg and my honey of course. After the game we stopped at a restaurant. Ah memories of the old baseball/football/basketball/soccer days. All three couples have sons that graduated in 2007. Below - one of Jud's early soccer teams. Jud was in his blond dye stage - right in front of Paul on the right.

When Amy played sports there were some parents we hung out with, but through the years most of the girls quit participating, so Paul and I usually drove to games by ourselves. With Jud's group, a large number of boys stuck together and stuck it out through their senior year in several sports. We parents got to know each other well, and became good friends.

While I don't miss the days of stressing over playing time, victories and referees, I miss the camaraderie we had. Carpooling saved us all mileage and allowed us time to learn about each other's lives and families. We became close friends. There's nothing like friends!