Lean in to Little Joys

Niece Jordan and son Jud got me hooked on Podcasts. If you haven't started listening, download an "app" or application on your Smartphone and open up your world to the many topics out there from soup to nuts (politics, how things work, history, sports, murder). The beauty is that you can do it on your own time. I listen while I drive, do laundry - even clean. Okay, I don't clean that much - but I could!

My "*work husband", Scott and I usually walk together at lunch. Of course, we talk about work topics, along with other stuff like sports, family and weekend activities.
*Scott is a nice young guy - married with a daughter who is nearly two. I call him my work husband because sometimes I can't remember if I told him something or Paul.

In the last couple weeks, Scott has been on vacation and I've been on my own for lunch walks. I listened to Podcasts during my walks. I must admit, the walks go much faster (and farther) with a real live walking partner. But the Podcasts can be enlightening - and there is less bitching by me...

Last week, an Oprah Supersoul Sessions Podcast was on tap, with Sheryl Sandberg on grieving - Life After Loss. Though it's been a while since I've experienced a big loss, I knew this one would offer up some useful information.

In the spring of 2015, Facebook COO and bestselling author Sheryl Sandberg was vacationing with her husband, Dave Goldberg, in Mexico when he died suddenly at age 47. Read more: http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/sheryl-sandberg-on-life-after-loss-i-am-awakened-video#ixzz4qFUqjwKG

I liked hearing Oprah and Sheryl talk about grief and life. It made me feel like I was sitting in on a conversation with friends. Somethin, Sheryl spoke about hit home with me. It is something I've been trying to do - appreciate little joys, instead of waiting for the big stuff. 

Here are a few I experienced this week:

I worked at the Iowa State Fair in the Environmental Education Trailer. A young girl of about 8 years in came in with a pink kitten marionette. She walked it carefully across the recycled wooden trailer floor, feet tapping. Being a smartass, I said, "Miss, I'm sorry, you can't bring pets into this trailer." She got a look on her face and started heading for the door...

My fair friend - playing one of the new recycling games

Of course, I quickly told her I was joking and asked her the kitten's name. "Nell," she said - my Mom's (and Betsy's) middle name. My new friend insisted on showing me how to manipulate the furry creature - placing my hand along the wooden "controller". It was really cute. Joy!

Such a group of loved ones resting here

I had a meeting in my hometown, Atlantic, Thursday. It gave me a chance to stop by the family plot, overlooking a golf course and a bar. What more could you want for a resting place? Our son Patrick's sugar maple tree is beautiful and large, providing lovely shade. 

 At the meeting, a foundation set up to raise scholarship funds for Atlantic High School Students, I enjoyed seeing several longtime friends and acquaintances - I'll use maiden names for the women to keep it simple: Cathy Heithoff, Cathy Hjortshoj, Toni Mason, Mike Henningsen, JC VanGinkel, and CJ Heithoff. There were others who I don't know as well but enjoyed talking to also. 

JC and his wife Marci purchased our family home when my folks moved to the condo by the country club. Though JC and Marci no longer live at 202 Crombie, we talked about the house - and I mentioned how I would hit tennis balls against the double garage door - setting up a ladder to collect the balls that settled on the flat roof. CJ told me that was a specially built ladder for the garage. Brad Henningsen now has that ladder. That made me smile. 

Paul and I decided to attend the Solheim Cup - the women's professional golf team play tournament. It's the United States vs. Europe. This year it is in our back yard at the Des Moines Golf and Country Club - just up the street from our house. Friday night a gal from our townhouse association emailed that she had two tickets for about half price. Bingo! We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves at this event - and ran into our Creston pals (now Okoboji residents) Dwight and Marilyn Conover.    

I woke up to a thunderstorm this morning - something we haven't had much this summer. Breakfast at the Waveland before grocery shopping. 

One other thing I picked up from the podcast. Remember the Golden Rule? 
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Sheryl said that she recommends the Platinum Rule. According to the Urban Dictionary:
Platinum Rule understands and accommodates for the fact that not everyone wants to be treated the same way. It says that we should treat people how they want to be treated, regardless of how we might personally want to be treated in similar situations.

She was talking about the situation when she went back to work after her husband died. People didn't know how to treat her - whether or not to talk about her husband Dave or not, etc. That helped her understand that people are different. You could ask the person - "how would you like to deal with this?" and observe their wishes.

Now - back to watching golf on TV.

The rest of the story

The rest of the wedding weekend was pretty fun too. Paul and I took off Wednesday afternoon. I have to admit, it was hard to concentrate at work that morning.

We arrived at Amy and Corey's new apartment in Denver before 10 a.m. It was looking pretty good, considering they were hosting a variety of groomsmen! Cool complex with a pool and grilling area.

Jud and Kara's flight arrived that morning and we collected to pick them up at Denver's Union Station downtown. They took the light rail in. Amy and her bestie Megan, Jud, Kara, Paul and I lunched at a burger joint with frosty beers that reminded me of my dad who loved icy cold Old Milwaukee. Then the girls got our nails done while the guys checked into the hotel. Meanwhile, Corey was coming back from his bachelor party in Winter Park. #notmuchsleep

That night, the meeting of the parents finally happened. We met Shirl and Jeff Park for a drink at the hotel. I'd seen lots of photos since I put together the slide show, so I felt I already knew them. We discovered we are four people so proud of our great kids. It was a mutual admiration meeting. haha. They were off to meet with family for a late supper.

We headed to "our place", Euclid Hall. It's a restaurant in downtown that has a strange menu, but we tend to gather there. Amy and Corey had time for a quick drink before they were off for supper with the Parks. I was a happy mom with my kids. Later, more family began to trickle into town - Betsy's family and then Cindy. It was a fun first night.

Friday Paul and I walked to a little restaurant called Syrup near the hotel. The hostess noticed our ISU Cyclone gear and asked if we were graduates. She is a Cyclone too! We're everywhere. The boys were off with the Kohans guys to Broncos Training Camp. They had a great time. Of course, Paul loves the Packers the best, and Jud loves America's Team - Cowboys.

Later that morning, my Aunties, Martha and Jean - along with my sisters hosted a shower for Amy at Marty's place, Holly Creek Retirement Community in Centennial. It was a gorgeous day and the was event complete with cousins and bridesmaids. Aunt Marty told the story of her Great Aunties (I think they were Aldrichs - their Grandma Lulu's sisters) who would collect at Bullock's Store in Atlantic. They would hold court there and the Bullock kids - Dad, Marty and Jean would be expected to stop by and "kiss the ring" of each of them.

Rachelle, Amy, Julia with James

Bride with Great Aunties Jean and Marty 

Bridey with aunties and momma

Kara and Cindy

Bride with cousins Jordan and Leslie

The best part was - no games! And the food was really good. Amy and Corey will be stocked with kitchen gadgets for a long time! After the shower, I barely had time to change into my next dress. Yes, it was a new record for me - three dresses in one weekend. The rehearsal was at the hotel, followed by the dinner at a downtown restaurant called Ignite, near the Rockies Ballpark.  

The rehearsal dinner was on a rooftop. It was nice out - with a bit of a threat of a rain.

rooftop rehearsal dinner

Saturday morning, we had a Goldsmith breakfast at the hotel. Amy stayed at the hotel that night - and she knew she wouldn't have much time to talk to people at the reception. It was a perfect time to visit  with her aunts, uncles, and cousins who traveled to Denver for the event. In the meantime, Corey was hosting 6 or 7 wedding party members at their apartment. 

Paul and sibs at wedding

Next, it was onto girl time - covered in my last blog. It's Friday today - one week later. Wish I could do it all over again! 

What is Wuv?

Have you ever seen the cult classic movie Princess Bride? The clergyman, presiding over the wedding is very memorable.

The movie opening:

MAWAGE.

MAWAGE is wot bwings us togeder tooday.

MAWAGE, that bwessed awangment,

that dweam wifin a dweam...

And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva...

So tweasure your wuv

My sister Cindy was nervous about the ee cummings poem Amy asked her to read during Corey and her Denver Botanic Garden outdoor wedding ceremony. Amy wanted her very special Aunt to participate in Corey and her wedding.

So in good Bullock fashion, Cindy teased that she would instead read the Princess Bride movie opening above (complete with accent). All of us were concerned about getting weepy when Amy walked down the aisle with Paul. Cindy was going to lead with "What is Wuv?" Enter - Cindy's reading - problem solved.

We howled with laughter when Cindy went through this at the rehearsal dinner. Yes, we're good at diverting nerves and (and sadness in other occasions) with laughter. The candied bacon served at the dinner also helped. Thanks to Corey's folks for a nice dinner!

You know how when you plan events, the actual event doesn't always live up to expectations? Not a problem with the Park/Goldsmith wedding! Because the ceremony was outdoors, we watched several weather sites all week prior. Some were predicting a shower right at ceremony time. We lucked out with only a few sprinkles after the "I Do's" were done. Woohoo!

I coached myself to live in the moment. Thanks for all the advice before Jud and Kara's wedding and this one from friends and family. I must say I did a darn good job of enjoying each and every moment. I confess I downloaded a podcast for Paul and I me to listen to on our way out -"Crisis Management". Just in case, ya know.

My mom trained me to be this way. Fortunately, thanks to all of Amy's great planning (she comes from a line of great planners including parents and grandparents), super friends and a wedding planner, there were no crises to manage.

Secret life of chicks

This was my second time hanging out with the bridal party doing "girl stuff". Hair and makeup and listening to the gals talk is fun - especially with this crew of women, many whom I've known for a while. It is out of my comfort zone. When they use code words like, "finish up your mascara", I go into panic mode.

The girls talked of TV shows they like, friends, and styles as each person got beautified. I wished my own personal hair stylist, Sarah Darby had been there - but was pleased with the 'do and makeup. The hair was a bit puffy to start - but the stylist assured me be it would deflate - and it did. Phew. Hair teasing makes me panic!

Amy bought us each a Raygun tank top! Aren't the bridesmaids lovely? ! 

Then it was showtime - Amy put on her lovely dress! The look on Paul's face when he saw her was precious. We packed into the car to head to the Denver Botanic Garden - coordinating so we didn't run into the wedding fellas. The girls were sequestered in a basement room in the building where the reception was held. Jenna rocked at popping the champers.

Soon it was ceremony time! Time rushed forward so quickly. I walked out to the appointed area to see so many people that we love gathered to witness the marriage. It was breathtaking. Corey walked me up the aisle, and both of us managed not to hyperventilate. He was nervous. I tried to be the voice of reason - calming us both down.

pre-game face

Corey's father, Jeff, was the celebrant. He did a fantastic job, putting the couple at ease and managing the ceremony.

Cindy did the first reading:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart) ee cummings

i carry your hear with me (i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

During Cindy's reading, my Aunt Marty held my hand. I was touched and grateful, thinking of how proud my parents would have been to be there. Paul's sister Carol also sat in the front row with us - representing the Goldsmiths. George and Laura were beaming down from above.

Corey has mentioned several times how he happy he is to marry into two crazy big extended strong loving families. We were fortunate to meet some of his family members during this event and Amy enjoyed traveling to California to meet his grandparents.

Thanks Larry Peterson for this photo (the bride's mother was successful at living in the moment and not snapping pics) 

The second reading was equally touching - I must get a copy from Amy. Corey and Amy each wrote their vows. I don't have a copy of them, but let's just say Amy's were "so Amy". The exchange of rings went very quickly and soon the ceremony was over - it was photo and party time!

The bride and groom had ordered up their fave drinks to be served there at the garden after the ceremony. A few raindrops fell! Guests mingled and hugged. And sipped. It was lucky that clouds moved in - otherwise, it would have been hot!

Love this pic

When one weds at the Botanic Garden, they select from caterers offered by that venue. This one makes really yummy food. I've now tried a pork belly, tiny donut hors d'oeuvres. And I'm proud to report that the caterer didn't have to return much liquor and even sent out for a bit more gin. That's how we roll! Except for the gin part? Coors Light was gone early but people coped by drinking other beer. Let's hear it for Uber - the app that provides drivers for everyone.

Amy with Megan (former Denver roomie)

After the meal, the toasts began. Corey's brother Andrew helped re-write the words to a Hamilton song. Amy's best gal Megan sang them in awesome fashion with the rest of the bridesmaids as backup singers. Then, Corey popped on shades and sang a verse. It was adorable. Amy's smile said it all.

Corey's brother also gave his own superb speech, followed by our son Judson who mentioned our little angel Patrick. He welcomed Corey to our wacky fam. Paul was last. I noticed he avoided drinking much alcohol prior to his speech - wanted good delivery. He sure came through. The theme of the wedding was #amylearnstopark and I wrote the speech based on that. Paul edited the speech to make it his voice. He'd been practicing while he rode his bike. Well done, honey!

Through tears, snapped this pic

The dances were next. That's when I finally snapped. Amy selected "End of the Innocence" by Don Henley for her dance with Paul. That song contains many memories of the kids growing up. As I stood trying to get a good pic of them dancing, I tried to hold my face to stop the tears - I have to admit I was not successful.

Next thing I knew, Susi and Jud were hugging me and I was blubbering. I guess the whole joint noticed...ugh. Except Amy! Yay.

My kids! 

Did I mention Dave was there? Yep, Amy's beloved car, Dave the Honda (totaled recently due to giant Denver hail storm), was the photo booth. This idea came from someone's class reunion (Mel Pins?) photo. Suddenly the picture frame idea I had seemed boring. Dave must attend - a surprise for Amy! Paul came up with the perfect plans of how to do it. We used an actual photo, blown up, for the chassis. I purchased a steering wheel online (that $20 seemed so reasonable - but the $20 shipping!&%#!) and Paul crafted the rest. Check it out, above. And below.

Me with longtime pals Julia and Vicki

The Disc Jockey for the evening came recommended by niece Jordan. He was super - and the rented wooden floor was busy all night! There is not much I enjoy more than dancing with my friends and family. I am not a great dancer - so the photographer may need to burn a few shots. But it was sure fun shaking a leg and joining and watching the groups having fun.

One of the constants that we stressed all weekend and when we were planning for the wedding was how fortunate we are. Family and friends attended from far and wide. The August timing helped, and the location was a draw - part of the reason so many of my family members live in Colorado. My cousin Amy's daughter Kate caught the bouquet and nephew Alex snagged the garter. Way to go fam!

Of course, it was difficult to have meaningful conversations with everyone we would have liked to. Amy tried to "pre-talk" to family members before the reception, at her shower and breakfast with the Goldsmiths. It was a long trek for them to travel from Iowa and Wisconsin to Colorado. All too soon it was 11 p.m. and time to clear out. Some of the wedding party decided to head to a bar. I was done.

Paul, Jud, Kara, niece Leslie, her husband Jordan and I walked about 6 miles cross country to our Subaru, parked on a city street. Parking is scarce near the Botanic Garden. Niece Jordan and her fiance Jill also tagged along as Jordie had stuff in our car. That walk was a fitting and hilarious part of the evening. We returned to the hotel, chatting in the lounge until 1 a.m. Such fun talking to my namesake (okay we're both named after my grandpa Herbert Leslie) and her spouse.

When my head hit the pillow, I was awash with the feels. I could not sleep! Humbled and thankful for my family and friends. Random thoughts kept popping into my head. Don and Diana flew in after attending Phil's wedding in DSM Friday night. My former DSM roomie Joanie connected with them for a ride to the ceremony. Other Crestonites ran into each other on their way through NE.

College friends flew in and had to coordinate flights. Nephew Colby (and girlfriend/nurse Gretchen) traveled soon after breaking his back. Susi picked daughter Leslie and spouse Jordan up on her way to the Friday shower.

Corey's friends and fam arrived throughout the week (prior to the big Bachelor Party at Winter Park Wednesday Park). We picked Jud and Kara up Thursday at Union Station prior to lunch and chick time (nails).

Union Station lunch with Megan, such fun! Frosty beers - just like my dad liked 'em 

See - I'm doing it again. I couldn't stop! My nieces and nephews were dancing together with my cousins' kids. Many of the people I love were there in one room. It was awesome! Finally, listening to a book on my phone, I dropped off with a smile on my face. Oh, oh, foot cramp. haha. It was worth it! Stay tuned for offical pics of me sobbing.