Here's The Deal

I heart this group

I scoffed at all of you who shed tears when your little ones went off to Kindergarten. When you told me you cried all the way home from dropping your young 'en off for their big college adventure, I was secretly smug. What's the big deal? Sure, I found it a bit unsettling when I no longer needed to purchase Pop-Tarts at Fareway after Jud left for ISU. Still, my steely heart didn't crack. I enjoyed my newfound empty nest status. I went off to an exciting new job in Des Moines.

Our kids were doing what they were supposed to - growing up.  Much like my own mother, I have not allowed myself to be very sentimental when our children hit those milestones. Happy for them and for me. Amy and Jud were ready for new challenges, and I didn't miss trying to keep them entertained at home. Win, win.

Imagine my surprise when the funk recently hit! Yep, I'm having my Kindergarten moment now. Each child is married and they are off on their own life's path. They have been heading that way for a long time - so I don't know why it's just hitting me now. Amy's marriage? All of their general good career paths? Home purchases? Turning 60? I'm not sure if there is any one thing that has set me off.

I guess I have some work to do. I'm asking myself - what is my purpose now? I'm still working and enjoy what I do, but am not exactly in the rising star portion of my career. It's somewhat freeing! I'm looking for volunteer opportunities. I'll write more about that later after I pass all my entrance exams. I'm on the lookout for more hobbies. Writing this blog is one outlet, my word jones. Thanks for reading and for your comments.

I'll work through my funk - just like you all did on that Kindergarten thing! Just wanted to share.

On to other things:
We had quite a weekend October 14th! It was a wet and soggy ISU victory over Kansas with our longtime (notice I didn't say old) friends. What a great crew! Paul met Mike and Tom in his first months of being a college student. Paul was a farm kid who didn't have many close hometown friends. He bonded with those two from the start. All these years later, their annual pheasant hunting trips have strengthened their bond.

Peace Tree - East Village

I enjoyed getting to know their wives Paula and Shirley better on that Friday night as we ventured downtown to visit the East Village - Peace Tree Brewery and the Republic bar overlooking DSM. Hustons live outside of LaCrosse and Sullivans in the NYC area. It's fun showing off our city!

Mike, Shirley, Tom, Paula

On Saturday, the rain came down early - so we delayed heading to Ames and ate our breakfast burritos right in our kitchen. Our friends Moose and Kay stopped by, so we had a house full, along with our overnight guests. Too bad the weather didn't cooperate. Our friends prepared like former scouts with rain gear for the ISU game. Once there, we were joined by our usual tailgating pals plus Behrs and Jaime Wilt and fiance Mike. We were able to swig down a beer before heading into the game.

Tents are a good thing! 

We don't care about no stinkin' rain delay! 

The rain stopped during the game. Mostly. Thanks, Paul Goldsmith for loaning me your camo rain pants.In keeping with tradition, wineskins made the game go by quickly. The Cyclones didn't give us cause for sorrowful drinks! I like this new, improved team. Post-game rain drove us to the motel where our pal Jane Flack appeared. Yay!

We took over the motel kitchen nook watched football games and chatted. When you meet friends in college, you don't have an idea just what political persuasion everyone will be. Hell, as I've stated before, I didn't even know what I would be. It was interesting discussing topics of the day and hearing areas of agreement and disagreement - without a civil war breaking out. Several of our friends own small businesses, so they have a different perspective than someone like me who has worked for others all of my life and most recently as a public servant.

I wish more people could step beyond their safety zones and exchange thoughts and ideas on these topics in mixed company. I believe we'd find that we have many shared goals - unlike what politicians and some of the media would like us to believe. Labels (liberal - which many use as almost as a slur, and conservative the same on the other side) are easy to slap on someone or a group, but do a disservice. I'm much more complicated than one label. I bet you are too.

On Sunday, a few of us took a spin through campus to reminisce and note how many new buildings ISU is putting up to meet today's student's needs. I love my university - and hope the new president is a great one! We even drove by 230 Campus Avenue - that fateful apartment where Paul and I met. Good memories. No Ames trip is complete without a meal at Hickory Park, with ice cream. The whole weekend had a cherry on it.

Food selection at Hickory Park is important work

Week in review

What a week. First we got to hang out with Jud (soon to be married) for a weekend. Then Amy was here for nearly a whole week! A rare treat when one's children live far (St. Louis) and wide (Pennsylvania). I'm feeling the love!

I like seeing and being with their "others" - Jud's fiancé, Kara, and Amy's boyfriend Corey. But this time we got each of our children alone. And they met each other for lunch Sunday in Hannibal as Jud traveled back to STL and Amy traveled here after Kara's bachelorette party). It was like old times. And just what we needed before the big life change coming up when we happily welcome Kara to the fam.

This weekend is Jud's bachelor party in St. Louis. his buddies from college, who we got to know during those many tailgating weekends, traveled from places afar to party with him one last time as a single man. His local pals from town are there too.

Amy's visit here was a working trip. She's a graphic designer, a small business owner who doesn't have the luxury of "just saying no" to customer emergencies - and they all are, aren't they? "I need that label tomorrow!" There were highlights - Paul's birthday dinner at Smokey D (on Amy), Paul and Amy waxing her car, game watch Friday with Jane Flack at Draught House 50. We had to do breakfast at the Waveland on Amy's last day.

 
Being with our children is certain to bring up memories of them when they were children. Those years went by quickly - in retrospect. I love having adult children and the people they have become. Not younger versions of either Paul or myself, but their own people. Good ones!

Today marks the birthday of my twin nephews Alex and Paul Kohan. I went out to help my sister with the little guys after she had a difficult pregnancy - 3 months bed rest prior to popping out these two guys. Then mastitis. I left Paul in charge of our two cherubs - Jud was just over 1 at the time and Amy was four. Nanny Leslie!

I was only there for a few days, but in that short time I decided that I wouldn't wish twins on anyone! When one would be clean and resting, the other was messy and screaming. Or they both were! They weighed in at about 6 pounds - 2/3s the size as my  babies were. I did what I could to help Betso and husband Wayne to care for the kids, do laundry and their kitties, who were out of sorts because they'd been replaced by screaming meemees. When I returned home to my kids - Jud seemed giant by comparison to A&P!

Fast forward 26 years - Alex and Paul have grown in to fine young man. No doubt thanks to early nurturing by yours truly! I'm looking forward to seeing them at Jud's wedding in a few weeks. HBD guys!

Homegods

Yesterday I wrote a whiny blog about how it was so lonely running errands in the big city compared to back in Creston. I lamented about how I don't get to see familiar faces here.

Then I drove to Costco and saw Crestonians Denise Miller and her daughter Amanda Buck in the parking lot. Inside I ran into them in the clothing section and we had a chance to catch up. Amanda is Amy's age and the Miller's son Tyrell is Jud's age. Old home week! Then I was off to procure popcorn and probiotics. Amanda and husband Michael are expecting their second child in April and are building a house right by Gwen and Dave Buck's - their in-laws. Michael is practicing dentistry with his dad Dave.

Ha! Ha! The gods of fate laughed in my face. We'll keep you off balance they say. Go to the store in the big city? We'll toss in people you know....just for fun.

Later my friend and former college roomie Jane texted to let us know that she and friends were at Bar Louis - right in our neighborhood. We needed to talk about our Big 12 Tournament plans. That event is coming up in less than two weeks and we have tickets and hotel rooms with Jud heading over from St. Louis. So we headed over there for a cocktail and appetizers. It was a nice way to end the week.

As I gazed across the room at the hipster bar, sipping a Lemondrop martini, I noticed an Atlantic homegirl and her daughter at a table near us. Sandy Travis Raike - Class of '77 lives in West Des Moines and we've been Facebook friends for several years. A University of Iowa grad, she now also cheers for the good guys as her daughter was a Kappa at ISU and her son is a TKE - much to the delight of Roger Underwood.

I promised Sandy that the gals from our two classes would one day meet in DSM

It was a fun night hanging out with Jane, her sister Susan, Barb and another friend. Those Flack girls are just so pleasant and funny - yet easy to talk to about serious stuff. When we left the bar we noticed something funny.

It was fitting with my day. The HomeGods were smiling on me that day. Homies at Costco, a drink with a college homie and an Atlantic homie. Life is good.

I stood outside in 5 degree weather to snap this pic

Big Chill

I'm not ready for this weather...my goodness, I had to start wearing my fingerless gloves at work at least a month early! It's ridiculous I know - but my body temp runs consistently way below the human average 98.6. As I get older, the chillier I feel. I believe a warmer climate is my destiny in years ahead - during the winter anyway!

I heard from my college roommate Jane Flack Conn last weekend. We'd vowed to get together more often, and she wanted to schedule a meeting. We settled on Friday lunch at Cheesecake Factory - which kind of defeated the beauty of that place, since drinks weren't in order. Oh, they serve them then - but we both had too much to do to get sidetracked in a booth at Jordan Creek Mall all afternoon. (Though it sounded great...).

It was nice to see Jane a catch up. She is such a lovely lady - who has had a rough patch lately. I know all her family too, since we have known each other since age 18. Plus she knows all of our mutual college friends and my fam - so lots to discuss! Jane's daughter Morgan is a frosh at ISU - another full circle thing. She has two high school age sons at home in Waukee. Too soon lunch was over and Jane was off to pick up Morgan at school. I hope to see her again soon! With drinks.

Friday night Paul and I had an invite to Grimes to nephew Karl and wife Lee's house. Karl's brother Craig was in town to run in the Living History Farms Mud Run. Craig is a Triathlete and computer engineer working in Cedar Rapids. Karl teaches Chemistry at Valley High School. He entertained us with stories of demonstrations for students. Some involved the loss of hair on his arms. I wish I would have had a chem instructor like Karl when I was in High School - I might not have needed Ellen the Bitchy tutor in college! Lee is a biologist who has worked for an arboretum and has done some education gigs. She's planning to get a new job soon.

It was really fun to catch up with those kids - the boys are Paul's brother Larry's boys. Growing up, they lived at the farm in Earlville, Iowa - Paul's home place. Even though Amy and Jud are younger than they are, they always enjoyed hanging out with our kids and we'd leave the kids at their house for overnights. They'd play Ninja Turtles and explore the farmstead of Paul's youth. I'm glad the cousins bonded like that. Jud was an usher in Karl and Lee's wedding a few years ago.

Boys play and await waffles at Waveland

Saturday Paul and I breakfasted at our fave - the Waveland. I always enjoy people watching there. The red-haired waitress said her husband had filled a flask for her for the KC Chiefs game today. She told some of her customers - who must have been friends that her husband, Shep, called it "pants off juice". I thought that was hilarious.

Then we went to my new fave place to look around - Mills Fleet Farm. They have everything! Paul wanted to go to Sportsman's Warehouse nearby - he's lusting after a cammo down coat. We attended afternoon Mass only to find Father Leonard Kenkel was the celebrant! We were pleased that Fr. Kenkel got through it okay - the guy isn't getting any younger! They didn't even give him a deacon to help.

Paul snubbed purchase of yard deer at Fleet Farm

Paul's always said he'd take rogue wives and children on "hunting trips" and take care of them...

After church we ended up at Legends for a drink and supper (I had gumbo!) before settling into our chairs for the football game. Yes, it was a home game and we could have gone. I vetoed it. I just couldn't do it. Yay for the Cyclones for playing great in tough conditions and pitching the shutout against the Kansas Jayhawks. Bravo to all fans who attended! My green chair is now 2 for 2 - lucky on home games. We won the Oklahoma State Game when Paul and I didn't attend 2 years ago.

Today - it's prep day! Our kids are heading this way for the holiday! I need to clean and get groceries. Also my pal Debbie is supposed to be in town. Now - off to swim laps. There has been a great post on Facebook by Atlantic former swim team members helping me walk down memory lane on that topic. Fun!

Life's just too short

Clint Bolinger RIP

Paul attended a work meeting in Corning Thursday and learned that the brother of two Creston friends passed away. Clint Bolinger, brother of Craig and Bill, had suffered from ALS for the past couple years, but very few people knew. That was how he wanted it.
Clint's Obituary

Paul and I didn't know Clint. He worked for an out of town contracting company - traveling and working on large building projects. We have known Clint's brothers and their families for many years. Craig and Ruth with their son Jesse, who is a few years older than Amy. Bill works as a technician for NRCS - so he worked with Paul for the past 20+ years. Since he's a huge hunter, they had lots besides work to discuss!

Clint was married to Amanda (Mandy) Berning - of the Bernings Hotel/restaurant in Creston. Mandy was the school nurse at St. Malachy part of the time the kids attended there. Clint and Amanda's two kids  Austin and Audrey attended St. Malachy, Austin is 5 years younger than Jud and Audrey a year younger than her brother.

Paul felt strongly about attending the visitation - to see his friends and express his sympathies. So after work yesterday we headed southwest to Creston and Powers Funeral Home. It wasn't something I wanted to do. I don't know Bill and Craig very well. I hesitate to put myself in painful positions if I don't have to. I'm selfish that way. But I decided I should go in support of Paul - and I was glad I did.

When we got to Powers Funeral Home, I got to see my dear friend Lamona Bilderback, who works at the Home part time assisting families at this difficult time in their lives. You'd never know she used to be a hard-assed loan officer at First National Bank, until she retired! Well..Mona wasn't ever really all that hard-assed. I loved working with her all those years ago though at FNB - and that was when we built our long friendship. It was fun to catch up with her.

We proceeded to line up to be greeted by the family. We spoke to several people we knew - some from Paul's former office. When we reached Bill, I could tell he was so pleased and surprised to see Paul. He told us his brother had not even told family about his illness - but when last year's tornado his and Clint was not around with his chainsaw, assisting with cleanup, they all knew something was up! By last week, Clint was having breathing problems and he went to the hospice just a day before he passed. A blessing really. Lou Gehrig's disease has to be one of the most rotten of all illnesses. His moved very quickly. Paul and Bill switched to a lighter topic - hunting of course after that discussion!

Next we moved on to talk to brother Craig, who is older than Bill. I'm not sure how we got to know him, but Paul bonded with him early during our time in town. He ran into Craig just last year in Des Moines at the Deer Classic - they really enjoy each other's company. Clint's children and wife Mandy were next in line. They were hardest to speak to! How badly I feel for them - to lose their father and life partner at this young age.

Austin has just finished a year at the Air Force Academy. I was surprised to see that as last I knew he was at Iowa State. I told him about my cousin Amy's daughter's boyfriend. He is attending there to play baseball. That caught his interest - and was a nice distraction from the usual death discussion...I told the kids who we were and who Amy and Jud were. Austin remembered being a buddy with Jud on some St. Malachy project. That is one thing we loved about the school - the mixing of younger and older students. Our kids enjoyed it when they were the young ones anyway. Austin probably remembers Jud as a kicker too as that was something he did. Audrey just finished her frosh year at NWMSU (Maryville) and she runs track.

All of them seemed to be holding up so well - but their lives these past few months - watching their dad/husband die a slow death had to be hell. This almost has to be a relief for now. The finality of it will hit them later. Prayers for this fine family are welcome!

As we headed out, we spoke to others we knew. Ryan and Jennifer Hoyt and their new baby boy - we had them as a marriage ministry couple, prior to their wedding. They recently moved back to town - Jennifer is a pharmacist at HyVee. She's a year older than Amy. It was great to see Mandy's folks - Bob and Frieda Berning - a couple we got to know through our church and through the St. Malachy Foundation. They gave us hugs and said they miss us. We miss them! Frieda laughed when I told her that we enjoy living together full time again - and still like each other! Paul got cornered by Rich Wenzig, a dirt contract before we got out the door. But he saw my look and didn't take too long!

Despite the reason for the gathering, the visitation made me miss Creston a lot. We're pretty anonymous in West Des Moines. That's our fault! I know we'll make friends and it just takes time. But we built our relationships there over 26 years - I miss and value that.

We headed to McFees and helped Bobbie and Jeff load their Suburban up. Kimmy is going back to school. She will pick up a 2nd major in Genetics - her goal is to do research. Jeff says this is IT for him and moving kids. We'll see! Donnie came over and we got pizza. Diana was off getting pretty (haircut). We sat outside on a gorgeous August evening - unseasonably cool. We got home to WDM about 10:15 p.m.

This morning? Waveland - I had a hankerin' for cinnamon French Toast. Then the Farmers Market. We saw Bob and Pam McKee, Mike, Judy and Maddie Moffitt - Crestonites! And my college roomie Jane Flack Conn and her daughter Morgan. We scored sweet corn and tomatoes are here! BLTs this weekend. Fresh bread, blueberries, and dutch letters for tomorrow a.m.

A beautiful quilted patchwork of friendships

I am blessed with a beautiful quilt of friendships. This weekend I'll be wrapped in it! Friday night, college friends gathered at our new home in West Des Moines. Kay Wilt was driving through with daughter Alyssa on her way from Chicago to her Mom's in Audubon. She contacted Paul to say we should go out to eat. We decided to make it a mini-reunion!

Catching up

Way back when, Paul met Kay even before I did - during our early years at Iowa State. I didn't get to know her well until her "Moose" years. Kay is married to Steve "Moose" Wilt, who coached our dorm floor flag football team my sophomore year. I've been friends with him ever since then. Oh it's really a patchwork thing - Paul's friends and mine all stitched together.

We were a little fuzzy at this point - must be the photographer (Paul)

 Kay lived with Mary Mormon in Willow Residence Hall at ISU. She dated one of Paul's friends. And I lived in Maple Hall on 6th floor with Jane Flack. Eventually, after college, Jane, Mary and Kay lived together in a house Mary's brother owned in Des Moines. I stayed with them one night when I visited the Capitol City for my job with Gamble Robinson. They were visited by a bat that night, and farm girl Kay took care of the thing efficiently. It was quite exciting!

It was fun having the gals over. Poor Alyssa, who will be entering her sophomore year at Minnesota, just got to mostly listen to our tales of yesteryear. We walked down memory lane, discussing people from college, events and the time period that Mary, Jane and Kay lived together in the mid 80's. It seems so long ago - but sometimes, really not so much. We can't really be this old, can we?

Our discussion briefly turned to Long Term Care insurance. Paul and I have been pricing it. Jeez! We just can't make ourselves pull the trigger on something so expensive and distasteful. It's a very volatile market. WTF. I think we'll wait for a conference with our pals when we head to the Lake of the Ozarks in August. That sounds like a good topic after several drinks...Donnie - we need your deep thoughts.

One of the nice things about our new home is the proximity to I-80. People are more easily able to visit. So we need to get better at entertaining! I didn't get that gene like the rest of the sisters did. We muddled through though. It helped that Mary brought a lovely fruit salad with flowers and Jane brought cake. Too soon, Kay and Alyssa had to head out. It was fun having everyone at our home. I hope it happens often!

I love the window art at the Wave!

I couldn't get Paul the Cheesehead Packer fan to stand under this sign...

Jane took this shot

This morning, we had breakfast with an old friend, Jane Buck - who I know from Atlantic. Bucks were neighbors, living near our home at 202 Crombie. Her daughter Linda was a good friend of my sister Susan, so I became pals with her son Tom. I liked Tom's boy stuff - he had a huge array of army men. We took Jane to the Waveland - or she took us, as it was her treat! She's active in historical issues around town - she's an Altoona gal. At age 82, Jane is sharp as a tack. We talked about all things - from current events to historical buildings. The food was good too. We may just have to make breakfast with Jane a periodic event! It was nice to see her in person, she's such a great supporter on Facebook.

Tonight we will host our Crestonian pal Mary Faber. She transplanted to Emmetsburg years ago, but once a Crestonian...in fact she often tells us local C-town news. The girl is "in the know". Mary can try out our new bed. We got new mattresses and box springs delivered yesterday. I blogged about Mary recently - how she is one of those people who makes everyone feel like you've known her forever. Paul and I are looking forward to seeing her tonight.

Sometimes - like this weekend, when different friends are visiting, I struggle to determine if the various friends we're seeing know each other. It seems like they should! But we are really the only link. Except with Facebook today - some of them know about each other! I told my friends last night that we were taking Jane Buck to breakfast and some of them knew of she was because she posts on many of my blogs and updates.

The friendship quilt stitches tighter and I enjoy it.

Amy update: Amy has been ill with a sinus infection and sounds ready to come home. She flies out of Nicaragua tomorrow for New Jersey and will arrive in Iowa on Monday morning. I can't wait to give her a hug!