Alaska Spendor

We took a long talked about a trip to Alaska in June. Ten fabulous days with four of our best friends. And we're all still friends after the trip (I think). I've known Vicki since one of my first days as a college co-ed and she walked in my room and asked me if I wanted to walk with her to get our ISU season football tickets. A lifelong friendship was born! Next, sophomore year I met Moose (Steve) who was lined up to be one of the football coaches for the Schilling House flag football team. I met Paul (my beloved) and Kay later - junior and senior years. Kay even knew Paul before I did, as their dorm floors had interacted.

First Alaska meal - on a lake with planes landing

So this group has lots of history. When we graduated, we kept getting together. Is that "failure to launch" when it comes to new friends? We did ski trips, annual 4th of July trips, and raised our children like cousins - at least until we all bought houses and our kids got busy in school. It isn't easy to stay in touch, especially through those busy kid years - but they are the friends who even if you don't see them, you pick up like no time has passed.

Now, every fall, Paul tries to round everyone up to attend an ISU football game. A couple falls ago we started talking about places we wanted to travel to. Alaska! But not a cruise. Vicki had lived in Alaska as a very young child. Her father worked for GE Corporation. Tragically her dad drowned while fishing and Vicki and her mom moved back to Iowa after that. She had cousins in Alaska so she also spent more time there as a kid. The allure was there for her to go back and see the state as an adult. The rest of us were interested in seeing a beautiful new state - for Moose (state #50).

We arrived in Anchorage on 6/12, rented a Chevy Suburban. Headed to Denali - just outside the National Park - 3 nights, Fairbanks, a mystery location (Majestic Valley Wilderness Lodge) south of Fairbanks, Whittier, Seward - 3 nights, Anchorage.

Flying into Anchorage seemed a lot like Des Moines - except for the mountains and all those float planes. The weather was fabulous (at least that's what they all kept telling us) while we were there. We had a great first lunch and checked out a free museum and the Ulu Factory Store. After a night there we took off north to the beautiful federal park - and the great mountain loomed largely - formerly known as Mt. McKinley, returned to a native name, Denali. We stopped at a pull off for photos. It is awesome and I was in its spell the whole time I was in its presence!

Rivers from glacier runoff are gray with silt

Awesome first view of Mt. Denali

You know it's not the same traveling with people at age 60+ as it was at age 20. Our accommodations were "interesting". For example, the place we stayed for three night at the Denali Grizzly Bear Resort was likely described as a quaint cabin. It was a creeky old place that reminded me of summer camp as a kid. When we first toured through the joint, Kay sat down and laughed maniacally. She volunteered for the top bunk with the painful ladder steps. The back deck view was the best part of the place. The one potty for six people kept busy!

That back deck at the Grizzly Mountain Lodge

It doesn't look bad from the outside...

The sights and activities at Denali made it all worthwhile! Our Back Country Adventures bus excursion (bus driver Steve was great and we were in the front of the bus) lasted about twelve hours on Day 1 in Denali. It was awesome. We saw glaciers, moose, caribou, fox, and bears. It was a long day but totally worth it.

We watched this moose for several minutes - plunge her head under water! 

The next day we stopped at the visitor's center and took a hike down to Horseshoe Lake. We saw a moose grazing in the lake - very cool! My investment in Merrell hiking shoes was well worth it! That night we ate at the Salmon Bake in a building that was crooked from frost heaved ground. The staff made a point of telling us the place was cleared by the health department. A tamed squirrel trotted through as Paul went to the restroom. We weren't in Iowa anymore!

Vistas were spectacular

Such beauty!

On Sunday, we headed north to visit the area of Vicki's early childhood - Nenana and Fairbanks. We stopped off in Talkeetna along the way for lunch. I think it was the "cutest" Alaskan village we visited. And it had a brewpub with a sunny deck and several stores and vendors.

Vic with bartender - who lived in Nenana when she did

The next stop was Nenana, a tiny village with that came up with a great gig - selling lottery tickets on when the ice goes out on the river each year. It's a huge money-maker. The general store was closed but the tavern was open. Yay. We got to meet several locals, including the bartender - a woman the same age as we are, who would have been living in Nenana when Vicki was living there. She was able to tell us many things about the time Vicki and her folks lived there. We met the pub owner and a brother and sister who enjoyed talking to aging Iowans about their lives in Alaska. When the woman hit for $300 on a scratch ticket, she bought a round for the house! This was one of my favorite stops - hanging with the locals. Or...it's just that I like dive bars - no matter where they are!

Fairbanks was fine (can you tell - not our fave place). Our hotel there was nice and clean and we all had our own rooms! It was on a popular river that people tubed kayaked and boated on. That was exciting. It's a blue-collar town. We drove around, got lunch and toured a small city park and had a nice meal at another brewery. Vicki had spent time with her cousins at age ten here and we tracked down their home. My how things look different fifty years later!

The next morning we headed south - stopping of course at the North Pole! Who can resist Santa's place? I was sad that Buddy the Elf wasn't there...

North Pole

Our next stop was a gem as we ended up getting "upgraded" to the big house. The Majestic Valley Wilderness Lodge is a helicopter ski resort in the winter - and is right next to the landing pad/airport. It was lovely and they treated us right.

Our hike at Majestic

We took a hike and had a lovely salmon meal followed by a dip in the hot tub. It was super. All of the places we stopped for gas and snacks each had their own stories - no Casey's General Stores out there in the wild. People were very friendly.

That night we were in for another interesting lodging night! After a stop by Girdwood, Alaska's ski resort to ride the tram to the top. This was our only somewhat rainy day. Everyone kept telling us how lucky we were. On to Whittier - where a one-way tunnel opens up hourly in an alternating fashion. It was a loooong tunnel! The town could be its own reality TV show as everyone lives in the same building. And guess where we were staying? In that very same building. On the front - it didn't look bad - 15-floor high rise. We drove around to the back to figure out where to check in. Ugh - the paint job hadn't extended to this portion of the building yet!

The town of Whittier lives here! We think the bus could be great for tailgating...

Our apartment was on the 15th floor - with a great view. We were able to do some laundry, people were friendly. Everywhere we went in town - they all lived there. The next day we took a half day Phillips Glacier Tour in Prince William Sound with super seats inside and a lovely seafood chowder lunch. Two forest service rangers narrated the tour and were super.

The blue color of the glaciers is a trick of the light

We left that night for Seward, which involved a trip back through Anchorage south to the Kenai Peninsula and the Gulf of Alaska.

Lodging just outside of Seward was the quaint Abode Well King Cabins - 3 darling tiny cabins, very clean with kingsize beds. The town itself was darling too. There were the marina and downtown. Their first night we hit - you guessed it - the brewery.

On Thursday we did an all-day glacier tour. I must admit I wasn't that excited about more glaciers after the previous day, but it turned out to be even better than the day before! We were in a smaller boat and we were able to see lots of wildlife - sea lions, whales, puffins. I gotta admit, the whale tail was pretty impressive! I don't have the camera to get good wildlife shots. Maybe after retirement...

The most moving thing was the Northwestern Glacier. It was named after the university. We got so close to it, the captain turned off the motor and we and experienced it calving - actually breaking down. The sound was like thunder and a jet flyover. Each glacier has its own personality, I'm sad glaciers are losing ground. This is our world - we need to care for it by reducing our human impacts. 

Our home for three nights - cozy! 

On day 2, Paul and Fred went Halibut fishing for 12 hours and Moose continued to drive the daisies (Kay, Vic and me) around. We had a fab breakfast and then did the tourist shopping thing downtown.  Later we hiked up to the Exit Glacier - you just can't get enough ice, ice baby! We stopped at a local bar and chatted up the bartender and her friend. I like doing that - a trick I learned from my brother-in-law, Bolder. She said she lived in Denali for 3 months and didn't see the mountain like we did. We feel so fortunate.

Exit Glacier

We spent a lot of time awaiting the great outdoorsmen to return from their fishing trip. They arrived an hour after the appointed time - Paul had a 60 lb Halibut in tow. We brought it home - fileted in a foam cooler - nom nom!

Halibut!

This is a big-eyed goldfish. No, not really! Yellow Eye Rockfish. They released it back y lowering it into the depths

On Saturday we trekked back to Anchorage with a stop at Cooper Landing on the way - to see the fly fishers in the river. They were nearly shoulder to shoulder! We had a nice lunch back in Girdwood before we arrived in Anchorage for our last night - celebrating Summer Solstice. Downtown was hopping and we checked out a couple breweries that were packed full. We got a spot on a rooftop for one and then ate at Humpies Great Alaskan Ale House. Our waitress was a young Bosnian native who shared her story with us - fascinating, as were all the nice people we spoke with.

Last night - water was as popular as the drinks!

Sorry if this rambled - it's one of the best trips I've ever been on. Great friends, beautiful scenery, wildlife, and wonderful people. Life is good!

View near our Seward cabin. I miss those mountains! 

Paul Left Again...

Man, I really got you readers with my last headline about Paul leaving me. Yes, I baited you and it worked. I can see how many readers there are for each blog - it really jumped on that one. Sorry to disappoint. He's stuck with me. We do joke that someday he'll ask me to dress up in a brown outfit with an antler hood and I'll be walking in the woods - oops! Hit by an arrow. No officer - I thought it was a deer. Okay - that's creepy, but it makes us laugh.

This time he's in Green Bay with our son Judson. They have started a "thing" where they attend an NFL game each year. Jud is a Cowboys fan (did we fail here? or just let him be his little self at age 4?), and Paul is a Packers fan. Last year they were in Dallas for a Cowboys/Packers game. Paul had never been there before - Packers pulled out a win at the end of the game.

This year it's a Packers vs. Buffalo game at Lambeau Field. Paul took his Rodgers jersey for Jud to wear. A full one half of Paul's wardrobe is either Cyclone or Packers - so he's covered. The beautiful part of these trips is that Jud figures out all the logistics for his dad. We're hard to buy gifts for - so this is such a gift. They flew into Green Bay and had a room at an Air B & B very near the stadium. They will fly home right after the game.

Next year they plan to go to a Cowboys "away" game - visiting more venues around this country. I love this tradition - even though I'm not part of it. Hmmm, what can Amy and I do? Bonding - adult children are wonderful.

I love dive bars

Lunch at Hickory Park - Sunday

Last weekend Paul and I enjoyed another tradition that has become an annual thing - Cyclone Football with college pals. Steve (Moose) and Kay came from Gurnee (north side of Chicago) along with their children from the Twin Cities. Vicki and Fred came from Northfield, MN. My college roomie Jane and a couple of her kids came too. Others stopped by our tailgate too. I can't say enough about our host and hostess Kevin and Kari - so thoughtful and generous setting up the tents and chairs, sharing their spread.

The weather gods blessed us on gameday. It was a perfect early fall day. The Cyclones beat Akron. We went to the classic dive bar the Tip Top before retiring to our hotel in Ames for the evening. When we walked in the door, a guy was standing on a table trying to put his foot behind his head. It must have been a bet. Or the beer talking! 

It's such fun catching up with our friends. And we are starting to plan an Alaska trip for next summer. No college friend weekend is complete without a Sunday morning lunch at Hickory Park. We all know what we're going to order before we see the menu: smoked turkey on an onion bun with mashed potatoes & gravy. Paul and I shared a delicious hot fudge sundae. I had to rest on Sunday - having fun is hard work! 

This weekend is a quiet one. I went to the Farmer's Market Saturday morning where I found the jigsaw puzzle for this Christmas in Vail, and a baby gift for my new grandniece Lily Lopez. (Leslie's daughter). I love sending those Cali kids Iowa gifts.

On Saturday night, college roomie Jane and I watched the ISU game at the Angry Goat. I've known Jane since I was 18 years old. Lots of history! Of course, the game didn't come out like we wanted it too. The Cyclones hung in there but didn't have enough offense in the end. I trust our coach to keep these guys on the right track. 

Funny: at work, the State of Iowa switched our operating system to Google a year ago. Last week my Gmail updated to a new version that anticipates what word I'm going to type. I can hit tab to accept the word/phrase or just keep typing.

I started an email to my co-worker Becky to ask her to update my program webpage with a new document. When I send emails like that I sometimes just sign with an L instead of typing my whole name. Gmail tried to fill in

Love you,

Good thing I caught it! I actually laughed out loud. And didn't hit tab to accept. But I wondered - what if we all expressed our love and appreciation to each other more often? I've worked with Becky for 10 years now. I told Becky the story - what I nearly sent. And I shared with her that I have grown quite fond of her.

Thanks, Google, for reminding me that I should appreciate all of my relationships more. Please don't let me start emailing stakeholders - citizens of Iowa and landfill operators signing "Love you". That would be weird!

Happy Father's Day Dave Bullfrog!

I don't have any memories of my father actually in a pool - only these pics

Did you really know your dad when you were a kid? Back when Baby Boomers grew up, dads weren't expected to spend a lot of quality time with the cherubs. The rules were different in the 1960's and 1970's. Most dads weren't involved in all of their children's everyday lives - especially when they're girls. They brought home the bacon.

Mom and Dad were very social - Poker Club, supper clubs - such a handsome guy

My dad worked hard to support us by traveling throughout Iowa Monday through Friday. He was a sales representative for Lorraine Lingerie. Fun guy that he was, he'd say he was "in lady's underwear". Ha! This actually included panties, slips, and silky pajamas. Nice stuff, some of it manufactured locally in Bedford and Leon, Iowa. Those plants are now closed.

Dad lived out of a suitcase. He had nice suits that he purchased at Reichardt's Clothing in Des Moines. He left a weekly schedule by the phone. It included town and hotel. No mobile phones back then. If you recall the era, small towns were still commerce centers. They had small department stores that "had it all", including lingerie. Dad had his routes throughout the state. He knew which little restaurants had good pie. He loved Gooseberry. He enjoyed beets and liver and onions - Ick.

Dave Bullock traveled the state of Iowa (and a little bit of South Dakota) in first Buicks and then Cadillacs supplied by Deter Motors. He put 60,000 plus on his cars each year, so he'd trade cars annually. Even Caddies didn't come with a center console back then - so he had Eddie the Cobbler make him a leatherette covered armrest that opened. There he kept his Tareyton cigarettes, Binaca (breath freshener) and Dentyne gum. Salesmen are worried about breath! Dad was a great driver and was only in one accident his whole life - a hit and run in Fort Dodge, not his fault.

Dad used to buy funny toys from his customers bring back to us from his trips. Key the Mom eye-roll. Things like chattering teeth and wind-up barking dogs. When the older three kids grew up, and Betsy was at loose-ends, Mom talked Dad into taking Betsy on his route to South Dakota. Oh, how the buyers loved that little girl! Forgive me Betso if I fail to get the story right. She needed help with her hair, and they'd go to one store so she could get a comb-out from a client. Dad bought Mexican-Jumping Beans (which are really live worms in beans). They couldn't figure out what was rattling in the back window....then they left them in the sun too long, and they fried. Sorry worms!

Grillmeister - note white shoes

I wish I had more memories of spending time with my Daddy when I was a child. We watched family TV shows together Walt Disney and Bonanza. He'd torment us by saying Lassie wasn't going to make it this time. Crying ensued. Mom would yell. Dad liked to take us to Dairy Queen, and we'd take our dog Jud (hey, it's a family name - my son is not...just... named after a dog) and he'd (Jud) get a vanilla cup of ice cream. Dad was the grillmeister. Nearly every weekend he'd sizzle up something delicious - rotisserie chicken, steak, pork roast marinated with mustard/grape jelly.

Dad liked to play golf and pitch at the Country Club. He tried to teach me how to play golf...fail! Susi and Cindy turned out pretty good though. He did teach me how to drive a clutch car, but it wasn't pretty. That corner by the YMCA was a bitch!

Dad was a people guy. He had a lot of friends and continued to make them all through his life. I think that's why he was such a great salesman. He was a snazzy dresser too. The poor guy got criticized a lot by teen daughters later in life."Not the white belt Dad!".

At our first house with the Alvillar girls

I had the opportunity to get to know Dad better in my adult years. Paul and I were very thankful that Mom and Dad paid for flights to visit them in Marco Island, Florida. As young parents buying a house, we wouldn't have been able to visit otherwise. Dad loved showing us their second home. Later, after the kids were born, he'd take the kids down to the beach, tossing popcorn in the air for the gulls. Their interaction was priceless.

With the Kohan boys

After Mom died in 1997, we were all stunned. Mom was a strong woman - the "director" of the family. We had to establish a new order - new communications. We took the opportunity to get to know each other better. It was a busy time as I was in the midst of raising kids. Looking back, I wish I would have taken more time to spend with Dad. But, in the moment...kid duty calls.

Mom and Dad's condo in Atlantic - Paul and I have on sweathers, kids, shorts? 

We got to spend some quality time with Dad and his friend Kay in the last years of his life. He enjoyed her family and ours. Dad was very proud of his ten grandchildren. Somewhere he's watching from afar, sipping a cocktail with his buddies Dandy Don, Eddie Freese, Fritz, and more. They're smiling. Cheers Dave Bullfrog!

Why didn't I get his skinny legs? 

Another successful Marco Trip

Thank Mom and Dad for introducing us this beautiful paradise! Paul and I first went to lovely Marco Island in 1988. We think. We're a little foggy on the year. Young parents a all that. Blame lack of sleep.

Dad retired at age 58. Gee that age sounds so familiar. Hmm, that must be because I'm 58 now. Yet the R word isn't in my vocab quite yet - except to say that Paul says that I'm a Freshman in my quest for retirement from DNR. I aim to retire at age 62 from that job. I'd still need to drum up income from somewhere to support my lucrative lifestyle in central Iowa - living large. haha.

Anyway, I digressed. As Dad approached retirement, Mom and Dad had scouted for a place where they could spend winters - to escape the frozen Iowa tundra. They checked out Arizona where several Atlantic friends had settled, but Mom need water - as in an ocean. So they headed back east to the state where both sets of my grandparents had spend time. Mom's parents actually sold their home in Cedar Rapids and moved into a retirement center in Dunedin, Florida. My Atlantic grandparents wintered in the St. Petersburg area each year.

My folks went farther south on the gulf side of the state, eventually driving over the Judge Jolly Bridge to Marco Island. Mom knew she was home. They rented a condo in the Gulfview a couple years before they purchased a unit. It was sometime in there when we were invited to visit - a year or so after we'd settled in Creston with our young daughter.

We weren't real sure about traveling with a baby, so we approached our fabulous care providers the Frank family about keeping Amy while we took a short visit to Marco via Miami. I do recall that it was a nice break from parenting, but we sure were glad to get home to our kiddo! In the meantime, we fell in love with that island just like my parents did.

Before the beach was restored - check out little Juddy!

That was before the beach was restored, and before many of the condos and hotels that are there today were even built. Mom and Dad enjoyed introducing us to their many friends. The next time we came back, We had both Amy and Jud with us - it was 1991. After that is was game on. We took many trips to see Grandpa and Gran at the beach. Good times!

The second time we took the kids - Betsy and Wayne brought the Kohan kids

After Mom passed away from evil lung cancer in 1998, Susi and I drove with Dad to Florida. It was sad to leave him there without his partner of 45 plus years. He sounded lonely when I spoke with him on the phone that winter. We spent Christmas with him - and that was strange! Palm instead of Christmas trees! In the next year, Dad reconnected with an old friend and fell in love with Pat2 (yep, that's what we called his second wife). She enjoyed Marco too - until her death, tragically another lung cancer victim.

Stormy and Amy with Kay and Dad

Dad suffered a stroke in 2002, and we weren't certain he'd be able to recover enough to live in his own Atlantic apartment, let along make it to sunny Florida. Thank goodness a good friend by the name of Kay Harris stepped up. Dad  had asked Kay on a date shortly before he got sick - and she liked the guy! He was pretty darn swell. Kay and Dad traveled to and from Florida each winter for the next few years until his death in 2006. Our last time with him in Marco was in 2004, when we took Jud and a friend down over spring break while Cindy and Colby were there.

This year, Cindy, Colby, Paul and I talked as usual about our parents as we stayed in the very building where they used to own a unit. Patty, who cleans at the building, still remembers us. Most everyone else is gone though - like Mom and Dad. It's not overly fancy, but has a decent pool, great grounds and is smack in the middle of the beach - right by the Resident's Beach, allowing for a great view.

We enjoy visiting many of the restaurants and haunts that our folks used to take us to. Plus we find new places to go. Colby and Paul like to fish - just like Dad used to - even though he'd often get seasick, poor guy. We love walking along the beach just like our mother did. It's therapeutic, you know. I sorely needed that this year after a rough couple weeks at work. (I've been told that I need to quit caring so much, but I guess that's just not how I am wired.) My sis, Cindo was therapeutic too. She's a good listener and advice giver when it comes to work issues.

Each year we stay in Marco for 10 days, including travel (which was delayed on the way there). By the last day of this year's trip, I was ready to go home, ready for my own bed and to see my puppy. Now that's a good vacation!

Everybody knows the mister

who drives around me and my sisters. He did well. The Bullock Girls (minus sister Suso - we missed her) rocked around DSM and southwest Iowa. That is after Betsy finally arrived. Cindy's flight last Thursday was right on time. She spent the whole afternoon carousing in the East Village, ending up at the Historical Building.

As a matter of fact, she learned that Iowa had problems during the Civil War - trying to make their own fashion statement by dressing in gray, instead of blue like the other Union Soldiers. Oops - friendly fire. Were they using up a large shipment of gray fabric? Interesting. I work right by there - I think I need to swing through the Civil War exhibit and read up.

Anyhoo....I arrived back in town from a day in Iowa City ready for a beer in a not-so-nice dive bar. Locust Street Tap fit the bill. Paul met us there. A text arrived from Bets - her flight was running late. Argh. By the time we were done - 1:15 a.m. was the ETA. We went to bed and set our alarms. Yikes. Finally both sisters were in the house.

Friday morning came too soon, but was a beautiful morning. We headed to our Mother Ship - Atlantic.

Stop at the cemetery

We met our friend Kay Harris for giant pork tenderloins at Oinkers for lunch.

We headed to Walnut to antique after that. I scored a great box that had once stored rubbers (the feet kind...). Check out this cool bear.

Love the dove-tailing on the edges

Jud tells a story Friday night

And that was Friday.

This goes out to Pat B. and all the mommies

fashion shot Pat Morehead  -around age 16

Without a doubt, my own mother Patricia Nelle Morehead Bullock was the biggest influence my life - the early years. She was a strong, intelligent woman who always advocated for me to do something with my life. She also held each of us Bullock girls accountable for our actions. I love talking with my sisters about her when we get together. During the 2020 pandemic, we've been video-chatting weekly. Before this, our interactions were much less frequent and were more likely to be email - less personal. So that is something good that has come from this invisible evil thing. 

Since she's been gone since 1997, sadly some of my memories are starting to fade.

Me and my Mommy

It's not like my Dad gets no credit in my upbringing. He was part of the formula - but Mom was the glue! To quote one of my fave priests (Father Leonard Kenkel..."thank you, thank you - even when I went to confession) for all you did" Mama.

On this Mother's Day weekend, I also must give a shout out to all those other moms out there - sorry to those I've missed. There are really too many to mention in this blog.  

• Laura Goldsmith, my mother-in-law, a kind, gentle and caring person of so many (9 children, 23 grandchildren). I never Laura say a mean word about anyone.
• My sisters - Susi forged the way, becoming a mom a year before I did. And Cindy and Betsy. All three are awesome mothers who have raised wonderful kids. Now, my niece, Leslie is even a parent herself! Since the original post, nephew Alex and wife Lisa became parents. I love being a great aunt, watching those little ones grow. 
• My Sisters-In-Law -  In my opinion, all the sisters and brother's wives did top-notch jobs as mommies - the 23 Goldsmith grandkids (21 without our 2) - nice people one and all! We're fortunate to be accumulating many great-nieces and nephews on that side as well. Love seeing those photos on FB.  
• Friends - first of all my college pals. Vicki was the first mom among us. She gave birth to Kelli the same year I had Amy. I copied her - on many things, but Amy was much less prissy than Kelli and didn't potty train herself.... Then Kay Wilt chimed in - bringing her girls into the mix. Such close families, fab kids. 
• Atlantic pals, Julia Hoilien, Pam Jepperson, Sally Rodgers, and Chris Watson - all strong loving mommas. 
• College roomie Jane Flack - parenting first three fab children  - who have grown to be great young adults. 
• Crestonians -
• We spent many evenings hanging out with the McFees sharing meals - the kids would play until someone had a problem. Then a mommy (or daddy) would have to settle it. Bobbie is a very organized, no-nonsense kinda mommy (similar to my parenting style) but she had a snuggler with Kim.  
• We also hung out with the McKims - another fam with children the same ages as ours. Diana always seemed to be cooking or coaching with her kids - they were well supported, passionately as only an Italian mamma can pull off.
• The Petersons, mothered by my pal Deb, were blessed with two sons. Deb came from a fam of all girls. She handled parenting boys gracefully - without snapping nearly as much as I might have when the testosterone was oozing and they were rassling or punting the football into each other's faces.
• Lucy Hyde, Joan Weis and other carpool pals - we swapped many a parenting story through the countless hours of carpooling to football, soccer and basketball games.
• Mary Faber - before that lady moved north, the Goldsmiths hung out with the McCann kids and Mary a great deal. She served as a great role model - someone who didn't allow her children to rule the roost. Mary seemed to get the job done without yelling or berating them. Hats off for that - I never quite mastered Mary's method.

There are many more of you Mommies out there - too many to mention. I was watching, you know. Moms - we all try our best. They who say it's the hardest job in the world. They're right!

Here are a few things I learned along the way.

• Babies seem so scary and fragile, but are tougher than they look. Moose bashed baby Kelli Behr's head on a ceiling (Playing "oops a daisy" in a bar). She cried like mad, but she is totally normal today...we think
• It's hard to not give in to a strong-willed child - especially when they are making a scene in a public place. You have to "pick your battles" but it you give in you'll be creating a monster
• I read many parenting books. (Not because Amy and Jud were lil monsters.) I'm a reader - that's how I learn. Parenting isn't innate. One must learn strategies!
• This is one thing that really resonated with me. Children truly want boundaries - rules. That's what makes them feel safe. If they are the ones setting all the rules then they have the power. That is overwhelming for them. In my opinion many families today are in this position - causing chaos.
• It's very easy to want to "fix" everything for your child. Even today - when my children are grown up. One should fight against doing that. Remember it's in battling against the bad things in life that one truly grows as a human being. Let your child fail. And then praise the heck out of them when they find a way back!
• Don't live your life over again through your child. Sure, if they like a sport or other thing that you enjoy - encourage it. That's only natural. But they are not a miniature you. 
• Be prepared for surprises - each generation thinks differently. Yours will too.  
• Let them go. Encourage it! If you blubber when they go off - to a friend's, to school, to grandma's it will make them feel sad/scared. It's hard and it makes moms sad. They came out of our bodies after all! But it's healthy for them. If you need to cry wait until they're gone. It should be an exciting time for them.
• While your child/kids are growing up, develop your own hobbies and nurture friendships. Don't be a martyr - thinking you will be doing the best thing by giving kids 100% your attention. Demonstrating a healthy marriage, (or healthy single parent who can deal with ex-husbands as the parent of your child), healthy friendships and hobbies is a great way to show you love them.
• I know, this all sounds preachy. Even to me. Parenting is much easier to pontificate than it is to do. I wasn't all that great at it. My children have many memories of times when I lost it. Why, oh why don't they remember the good stuff I did? I tell myself that's because that was everyday...

Children are much like the weather...except you don't get forecasts on TV and online. Those perfect days are so sweet! And on those other days - you just bundle up or strip down and go with it - dealing with it as best you can.

I sure enjoy watching and hearing about my little relatives and friends on Facebook and at work. The stories bring back memories of raising our children. I've had many titles through the years, but just like my mother before me...the one I'm most proud of is Mommy.

My fam at the circus in Atlantic

A beautiful quilted patchwork of friendships

I am blessed with a beautiful quilt of friendships. This weekend I'll be wrapped in it! Friday night, college friends gathered at our new home in West Des Moines. Kay Wilt was driving through with daughter Alyssa on her way from Chicago to her Mom's in Audubon. She contacted Paul to say we should go out to eat. We decided to make it a mini-reunion!

Catching up

Way back when, Paul met Kay even before I did - during our early years at Iowa State. I didn't get to know her well until her "Moose" years. Kay is married to Steve "Moose" Wilt, who coached our dorm floor flag football team my sophomore year. I've been friends with him ever since then. Oh it's really a patchwork thing - Paul's friends and mine all stitched together.

We were a little fuzzy at this point - must be the photographer (Paul)

 Kay lived with Mary Mormon in Willow Residence Hall at ISU. She dated one of Paul's friends. And I lived in Maple Hall on 6th floor with Jane Flack. Eventually, after college, Jane, Mary and Kay lived together in a house Mary's brother owned in Des Moines. I stayed with them one night when I visited the Capitol City for my job with Gamble Robinson. They were visited by a bat that night, and farm girl Kay took care of the thing efficiently. It was quite exciting!

It was fun having the gals over. Poor Alyssa, who will be entering her sophomore year at Minnesota, just got to mostly listen to our tales of yesteryear. We walked down memory lane, discussing people from college, events and the time period that Mary, Jane and Kay lived together in the mid 80's. It seems so long ago - but sometimes, really not so much. We can't really be this old, can we?

Our discussion briefly turned to Long Term Care insurance. Paul and I have been pricing it. Jeez! We just can't make ourselves pull the trigger on something so expensive and distasteful. It's a very volatile market. WTF. I think we'll wait for a conference with our pals when we head to the Lake of the Ozarks in August. That sounds like a good topic after several drinks...Donnie - we need your deep thoughts.

One of the nice things about our new home is the proximity to I-80. People are more easily able to visit. So we need to get better at entertaining! I didn't get that gene like the rest of the sisters did. We muddled through though. It helped that Mary brought a lovely fruit salad with flowers and Jane brought cake. Too soon, Kay and Alyssa had to head out. It was fun having everyone at our home. I hope it happens often!

I love the window art at the Wave!

I couldn't get Paul the Cheesehead Packer fan to stand under this sign...

Jane took this shot

This morning, we had breakfast with an old friend, Jane Buck - who I know from Atlantic. Bucks were neighbors, living near our home at 202 Crombie. Her daughter Linda was a good friend of my sister Susan, so I became pals with her son Tom. I liked Tom's boy stuff - he had a huge array of army men. We took Jane to the Waveland - or she took us, as it was her treat! She's active in historical issues around town - she's an Altoona gal. At age 82, Jane is sharp as a tack. We talked about all things - from current events to historical buildings. The food was good too. We may just have to make breakfast with Jane a periodic event! It was nice to see her in person, she's such a great supporter on Facebook.

Tonight we will host our Crestonian pal Mary Faber. She transplanted to Emmetsburg years ago, but once a Crestonian...in fact she often tells us local C-town news. The girl is "in the know". Mary can try out our new bed. We got new mattresses and box springs delivered yesterday. I blogged about Mary recently - how she is one of those people who makes everyone feel like you've known her forever. Paul and I are looking forward to seeing her tonight.

Sometimes - like this weekend, when different friends are visiting, I struggle to determine if the various friends we're seeing know each other. It seems like they should! But we are really the only link. Except with Facebook today - some of them know about each other! I told my friends last night that we were taking Jane Buck to breakfast and some of them knew of she was because she posts on many of my blogs and updates.

The friendship quilt stitches tighter and I enjoy it.

Amy update: Amy has been ill with a sinus infection and sounds ready to come home. She flies out of Nicaragua tomorrow for New Jersey and will arrive in Iowa on Monday morning. I can't wait to give her a hug!