Writer's Block redo - Coffee

This post originally ran in 2013. I have updated it and am now reposting for your reading pleasure. I don't know if it's retirement, isolation, or lack of dedicated effort - but I'm having a hard time coming up with Blog topics that I haven't already covered. Plus we don't really do anything, so a diary blog is out. Here goes on the redo: 

Coffee Jones

Age 12 with Momo, Bubba and Charlie the dog

I think it was my grandma, Zora Clayton Stewart Bullock - aka Momo, who introduced me to coffee. She "babysat" a few times when Mom and Dad were out of town. Momo drank coffee, just like Mom, but at breakfast time she encouraged me to try it. She added lots of milk and sugar. Instead of my usual Cap'n Crunch, I had toasted Wonder Bread, slathered in butter dipped into a marvelous concoction of coffee, milk, and sugar. It was a fun and different treat for when Momo stayed with us! It made me feel so grown up. 

Mom enjoyed coffee too (with her morning cigarettes). Remember those perking coffee pots? We had one -just like everyone did in the 1960s. Those pots made interesting noises, indicating that something important was going on inside! They took forever to brew coffee. If you forgot to put the top on the pot, the coffee perked all the way up to the ceiling! Leslie the kid thought that was really funny. 

In the 1970s Mom when through her "Zen" age. She got a funky coffee press with a filter and a decanter that sat on the stove. It was all very complicated. I don't know if it tasted any better, but she thought she was very sophisticated! Many years later, our daughter Amy got this same system. And she's lefthanded like Mom. So even though I attribute Amy's gentle personality to Laura Goldsmith, Paul's mom, there is some Pat in her. haha. Once drip coffeemakers came out, Mom went to a Mr. Coffee system. You just couldn't beat the convenience - AND that name. A dude was making you something! 

I never became a big coffee drinker in my early years, despite that yummy coffee, milk, sugar concoction. In college, roomie Vicki and I picked up some Folgers instant coffee crystals for late-night studying. It was before the microwave days - so we still had to boil water! I remember when Vic and I took Zoology together. We stayed up so late before a test that we became "slap-happy". I still smile today when I hear the scientific words for the various secretions the body makes as we had to memorize them. We laughed until we cried. Those college years were magical! The coffee wasn't.  

I didn't start drinking coffee again until I got married to a guy who has a real coffee jones. Paul can't help it - it's in his genes. Nature and nurture really. The Goldsmiths are farmers. They drink coffee 24/7. Recently we had a family Zoom and we talked about who drinks coffee. Most still do - some all day. Paul amazes me - he can drink the stuff (black of course) until midnight and still sleep. He'll even drink cold coffee after it's sat in the car all day when we're traveling. We take the thermos everywhere. 

Me? I'd better not sniff caffeine after noon or I'll be buzzed for hours. Sometimes I can get jittery from just one cup! My Creston bestie Deb and I used to get coffee drinks at True Value in Creston. Yes, in that town the coffee place is in a hardware store - they can multi-task, and it's good. We'd go on Sunday afternoon, then I'd lay awake for hours that night. Nancy Drew finally figured it out. It was the caffeine. Duh! I had to go to decaf. 

In 1986 we moved to Creston, the home of Bunn-O-Matic an international coffeemaker company. Since then, we have been spoiled by coffee brewed instantly. I know the real experts look down on this method, but we lived and worked with the Bunn-ites! I toured the factory, which is the largest employer in town. Their employee break area has all of the good beverages - coffee, tea, hot chocolate. Okay, probably not as good as the break area at Coors, but close! We had three Bunn-O-Matic brewers in our 26 years of living in Creston plus a few in West Des Moines. Finally, a couple of years ago, our most recent Bunn gave out and we went with a different brand as we were buying retail. We went with a Cuisinart drip coffeemaker that doesn't require a paper filter. We like it. But I still enjoy checking out restaurant coffeemakers to see if they are Bunn people. 

Paul used to think Folgers was the "best part of waking" - except for another day with me (haha). After moving to the (not so) Big City, he has learned to grind his own beans (since we bought Starbucks beans by mistake one time and I purchased a grinder). We've tried lots of types of beans, but he's a Starbucks fan. Since he grinds it and drinks it black, he gets to pick.

Some people swear they can't function without their morning joe. There are lots of cartoons, memes, dishtowels, and decorations based on coffee. Beyond Starbucks, in Des Moines and everywhere, fancy coffee has never been more popular. I do enjoy a coffee drink like a latte but have to admit I am somewhat intimidated by some of the hot and cold beverages available today. Today's people have taken "special orders don't upset us" to a high level. It turns out we like that. 

I'm still getting used to this new personalized way of life. In the olden days, families like mine had more kids and less time for personalization. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the number of choices available. At coffee shops, I usually stick with skinny vanilla lattes. I'm sure there are lots of other delicious possibilities - but what if I choose unwisely? The problem is real y'all! Paul always sticks with black coffee at those places. 

During the pandemic, and just over one year of retirement, it's amazing how much enjoyment I've gotten from my morning cuppa with Cinnamon Dolce creamer. I usually just drink the one cup with a warmup partway through. Caffeine jitters you know. A friend of mine lost her sense of taste/smell after getting Covid-19. Coffee is one thing she really misses. We don't know how much we rely on daily rituals until they're gone. I hope you have something to help get you through each day - a beverage, snack, snuggle, TV show, or exercise. It's all good. Be kind - to you and others. I'm working on that every day. 

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Carry On Camping

Do you remember the movie, "Carry On Camping"? 

The movie originally came out in 1969 when I was only 12, and it looks like it was a bit risque. I remember going with Chris Deardorff, but we must have gone when it came around again...can't imagine Pat B and Ginger Deardorff sending us off to a sexy movie at age 12. Since then, besides my Girl Scout day camp years, anytime I've gone camping that film title pops into my head. Not the risque part - just the humorous part. So much can't be controlled! You're at the mercy of nature, neighbors, and bad planning.

Summer vaca in Florida visiting my grandparents - no camping

Growing up, my family was NOT a camping family. Exhibit A - my dad, Dave Bullock. Evidently, his years in the army cured him of any idea that living "rough" was fun. Our vacations involved hotel rooms or at the least, cabins. My sisters and I were in Girl Scouts and attended summer camp, so we got a taste of camping then. I have fond memories of Camp Cheley in Estes Park, CO - an overnight hike and campout. It was quite an adventure.  

My next camping experience was quite memorable - except for the fogginess due to the liquor involved. It happened while I was studying ever so hard at Iowa State University one VEISHEA weekend. Iowans will remember VEISHEA - that wonderful student-run celebration on campus that was parade/party/ showcase. It was doomed because of riots in later years. They couldn't figure out how to party without being overly destructive - grrr. 

That weekend, early in May, a group that included my roomies, Jane and Vicki, and our pal, ISU volleyballer Kelly, rented a tent from campus recreation. We decided to camp at The Ledges, a beautiful state park near Boone - just west of Ames. We took the essentials - beer, chips, cookies, and marshmallows. 

By afternoon we were already feeling the alcohol glow when our guy pals from Stevenson House, including Moose and friends, Shit for Brains, and others with nicknames I don't recall, were canoeing the Des Moines River. I don't know if we coordinated the meeting, but sure wish I had a video of the event.  Picture - Girls: cheering drunkenly on the shore of the Des Moines River as it passes through the Ledges. Boys: drunkenly see us and stand up in the canoe to wave - tipping over into the chilly water. Slow-motion would be great.  

The whole group ended up sitting around our campsite fire ring. Thank God we had Moose the Boy Scout to build the fire. As night fell, it got chilly and seven or eight of us piled into the tent. The guys hadn't planned to stay but driving didn't seem to be a good idea. I remember being damp and chilled to the bone. Wet drunk boys stink. It was epic!

I didn't camp again until the year I graduated from college - when we started our much blogged about trips to Ridgeland, Wisconsin to tube the Apple River. We stayed in a huge tent owned by the Huston family - again, many stinky people. 

That year I graduated and moved to Sioux Falls, SD where I had my first real job. Paul Goldsmith, bless his heart, made the drive there several times. It was then, without the trappings of college, we really got to know each other and learned how much we enjoyed each other's company. And we went camping. 

Does it look like 2 people will fit in that tent? Especially with that hair!

Paul had a pup tent - a tiny thing. We planned a trip to SE MN, a place some of my SD co-workers had told me about. I believe it was this place - Blue Mounds. I remember seeing the Bison. And how tiny and claustrophobic Paul's tiny tent was - the canvass was mere inches from my face.  

Since then, through the years, we camped a few times. I've written before about our Memorial Day camping experiences - 45 degrees and rainy at Jester Park and Pine Lake with our college friends. What is it about sitting around a campfire with friends? Good times! 

During our Creston years, after the kids were a little older, we camped a few times with our friends who rolled a little nicer than tent camping. Higgins had "the Big Unit", a pull-behind camper, Crittendens had a camper, and Bobbie and Jeff had a pop-up camper. We invested in a new tent that fit four people and a dog. I remember fun trips to NE Iowa near Waukon and Saylorville. We biked and canoed and the kids had a ball. It's always good to go with people who know what they're doing and have the right equipment. And attitudes! 

Since then, Paul upgraded the pup tent for a nicer one for hunting trips to Colorado. He's got some more outdoors equipment too. I haven't camped in 20 years! So imagine my surprise when Paul and I were discussing potential Labor Day weekend plans and I suggested tent camping! I know. But consider this: we need to be away from people as we're on "Baby Watch", and we don't just want to sit here. Jud and Kara's baby girl is due 9/12. We're getting antsy! The words came out of my mouth "what about camping?" I was as shocked as he was. 

So that's the plan. He found a remote camping spot in a state forest. Forty years after the first time we camped together we will Carry on Camping. Maybe we'll make this an every 40 year thing! 

Alaska Spendor

We took a long talked about a trip to Alaska in June. Ten fabulous days with four of our best friends. And we're all still friends after the trip (I think). I've known Vicki since one of my first days as a college co-ed and she walked in my room and asked me if I wanted to walk with her to get our ISU season football tickets. A lifelong friendship was born! Next, sophomore year I met Moose (Steve) who was lined up to be one of the football coaches for the Schilling House flag football team. I met Paul (my beloved) and Kay later - junior and senior years. Kay even knew Paul before I did, as their dorm floors had interacted.

First Alaska meal - on a lake with planes landing

So this group has lots of history. When we graduated, we kept getting together. Is that "failure to launch" when it comes to new friends? We did ski trips, annual 4th of July trips, and raised our children like cousins - at least until we all bought houses and our kids got busy in school. It isn't easy to stay in touch, especially through those busy kid years - but they are the friends who even if you don't see them, you pick up like no time has passed.

Now, every fall, Paul tries to round everyone up to attend an ISU football game. A couple falls ago we started talking about places we wanted to travel to. Alaska! But not a cruise. Vicki had lived in Alaska as a very young child. Her father worked for GE Corporation. Tragically her dad drowned while fishing and Vicki and her mom moved back to Iowa after that. She had cousins in Alaska so she also spent more time there as a kid. The allure was there for her to go back and see the state as an adult. The rest of us were interested in seeing a beautiful new state - for Moose (state #50).

We arrived in Anchorage on 6/12, rented a Chevy Suburban. Headed to Denali - just outside the National Park - 3 nights, Fairbanks, a mystery location (Majestic Valley Wilderness Lodge) south of Fairbanks, Whittier, Seward - 3 nights, Anchorage.

Flying into Anchorage seemed a lot like Des Moines - except for the mountains and all those float planes. The weather was fabulous (at least that's what they all kept telling us) while we were there. We had a great first lunch and checked out a free museum and the Ulu Factory Store. After a night there we took off north to the beautiful federal park - and the great mountain loomed largely - formerly known as Mt. McKinley, returned to a native name, Denali. We stopped at a pull off for photos. It is awesome and I was in its spell the whole time I was in its presence!

Rivers from glacier runoff are gray with silt

Awesome first view of Mt. Denali

You know it's not the same traveling with people at age 60+ as it was at age 20. Our accommodations were "interesting". For example, the place we stayed for three night at the Denali Grizzly Bear Resort was likely described as a quaint cabin. It was a creeky old place that reminded me of summer camp as a kid. When we first toured through the joint, Kay sat down and laughed maniacally. She volunteered for the top bunk with the painful ladder steps. The back deck view was the best part of the place. The one potty for six people kept busy!

That back deck at the Grizzly Mountain Lodge

It doesn't look bad from the outside...

The sights and activities at Denali made it all worthwhile! Our Back Country Adventures bus excursion (bus driver Steve was great and we were in the front of the bus) lasted about twelve hours on Day 1 in Denali. It was awesome. We saw glaciers, moose, caribou, fox, and bears. It was a long day but totally worth it.

We watched this moose for several minutes - plunge her head under water! 

The next day we stopped at the visitor's center and took a hike down to Horseshoe Lake. We saw a moose grazing in the lake - very cool! My investment in Merrell hiking shoes was well worth it! That night we ate at the Salmon Bake in a building that was crooked from frost heaved ground. The staff made a point of telling us the place was cleared by the health department. A tamed squirrel trotted through as Paul went to the restroom. We weren't in Iowa anymore!

Vistas were spectacular

Such beauty!

On Sunday, we headed north to visit the area of Vicki's early childhood - Nenana and Fairbanks. We stopped off in Talkeetna along the way for lunch. I think it was the "cutest" Alaskan village we visited. And it had a brewpub with a sunny deck and several stores and vendors.

Vic with bartender - who lived in Nenana when she did

The next stop was Nenana, a tiny village with that came up with a great gig - selling lottery tickets on when the ice goes out on the river each year. It's a huge money-maker. The general store was closed but the tavern was open. Yay. We got to meet several locals, including the bartender - a woman the same age as we are, who would have been living in Nenana when Vicki was living there. She was able to tell us many things about the time Vicki and her folks lived there. We met the pub owner and a brother and sister who enjoyed talking to aging Iowans about their lives in Alaska. When the woman hit for $300 on a scratch ticket, she bought a round for the house! This was one of my favorite stops - hanging with the locals. Or...it's just that I like dive bars - no matter where they are!

Fairbanks was fine (can you tell - not our fave place). Our hotel there was nice and clean and we all had our own rooms! It was on a popular river that people tubed kayaked and boated on. That was exciting. It's a blue-collar town. We drove around, got lunch and toured a small city park and had a nice meal at another brewery. Vicki had spent time with her cousins at age ten here and we tracked down their home. My how things look different fifty years later!

The next morning we headed south - stopping of course at the North Pole! Who can resist Santa's place? I was sad that Buddy the Elf wasn't there...

North Pole

Our next stop was a gem as we ended up getting "upgraded" to the big house. The Majestic Valley Wilderness Lodge is a helicopter ski resort in the winter - and is right next to the landing pad/airport. It was lovely and they treated us right.

Our hike at Majestic

We took a hike and had a lovely salmon meal followed by a dip in the hot tub. It was super. All of the places we stopped for gas and snacks each had their own stories - no Casey's General Stores out there in the wild. People were very friendly.

That night we were in for another interesting lodging night! After a stop by Girdwood, Alaska's ski resort to ride the tram to the top. This was our only somewhat rainy day. Everyone kept telling us how lucky we were. On to Whittier - where a one-way tunnel opens up hourly in an alternating fashion. It was a loooong tunnel! The town could be its own reality TV show as everyone lives in the same building. And guess where we were staying? In that very same building. On the front - it didn't look bad - 15-floor high rise. We drove around to the back to figure out where to check in. Ugh - the paint job hadn't extended to this portion of the building yet!

The town of Whittier lives here! We think the bus could be great for tailgating...

Our apartment was on the 15th floor - with a great view. We were able to do some laundry, people were friendly. Everywhere we went in town - they all lived there. The next day we took a half day Phillips Glacier Tour in Prince William Sound with super seats inside and a lovely seafood chowder lunch. Two forest service rangers narrated the tour and were super.

The blue color of the glaciers is a trick of the light

We left that night for Seward, which involved a trip back through Anchorage south to the Kenai Peninsula and the Gulf of Alaska.

Lodging just outside of Seward was the quaint Abode Well King Cabins - 3 darling tiny cabins, very clean with kingsize beds. The town itself was darling too. There were the marina and downtown. Their first night we hit - you guessed it - the brewery.

On Thursday we did an all-day glacier tour. I must admit I wasn't that excited about more glaciers after the previous day, but it turned out to be even better than the day before! We were in a smaller boat and we were able to see lots of wildlife - sea lions, whales, puffins. I gotta admit, the whale tail was pretty impressive! I don't have the camera to get good wildlife shots. Maybe after retirement...

The most moving thing was the Northwestern Glacier. It was named after the university. We got so close to it, the captain turned off the motor and we and experienced it calving - actually breaking down. The sound was like thunder and a jet flyover. Each glacier has its own personality, I'm sad glaciers are losing ground. This is our world - we need to care for it by reducing our human impacts. 

Our home for three nights - cozy! 

On day 2, Paul and Fred went Halibut fishing for 12 hours and Moose continued to drive the daisies (Kay, Vic and me) around. We had a fab breakfast and then did the tourist shopping thing downtown.  Later we hiked up to the Exit Glacier - you just can't get enough ice, ice baby! We stopped at a local bar and chatted up the bartender and her friend. I like doing that - a trick I learned from my brother-in-law, Bolder. She said she lived in Denali for 3 months and didn't see the mountain like we did. We feel so fortunate.

Exit Glacier

We spent a lot of time awaiting the great outdoorsmen to return from their fishing trip. They arrived an hour after the appointed time - Paul had a 60 lb Halibut in tow. We brought it home - fileted in a foam cooler - nom nom!

Halibut!

This is a big-eyed goldfish. No, not really! Yellow Eye Rockfish. They released it back y lowering it into the depths

On Saturday we trekked back to Anchorage with a stop at Cooper Landing on the way - to see the fly fishers in the river. They were nearly shoulder to shoulder! We had a nice lunch back in Girdwood before we arrived in Anchorage for our last night - celebrating Summer Solstice. Downtown was hopping and we checked out a couple breweries that were packed full. We got a spot on a rooftop for one and then ate at Humpies Great Alaskan Ale House. Our waitress was a young Bosnian native who shared her story with us - fascinating, as were all the nice people we spoke with.

Last night - water was as popular as the drinks!

Sorry if this rambled - it's one of the best trips I've ever been on. Great friends, beautiful scenery, wildlife, and wonderful people. Life is good!

View near our Seward cabin. I miss those mountains! 

Big Screen Memories

Do you remember the first movie you ever saw? For me, movie memories are similar to songs - who was I when I saw this movie?

One special movie memory is from 1967, when I was ten years old. Gone With the Wind was re-released and our mother took my sisters and me to see it in a big city - Des Moines? The theater had a curtain that closed at intermission. Mom cried during the opening credits - she'd seen this show before. The saddest parts of the movie to me, even then, were when Scarlet rode the horse to death. And when Rhett shoots the pony.

I have many more wonderful memories of "going to the movies". My movie love affair started even before age ten. Our school and the local theater had a summer movie deal. We could buy a sheet of summer movie matinee tickets - giving our parents (moms really) a break from the kids during the endless school break. We saw movies like Frances the Talking Mule and The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (Don Knotts Y'all).

The tickets were valued at something like $.25 each. The real money for the Atlantic Theater came from concessions. Popcorn and candy! Back then, soda pop came from a machine in the lobby - a thin dime for a small cup that would shoot out, be filled with some crushed ice and Coca-Cola. It was fun just to watch the machine make the magical mixture! But wait...there's more! If you got the "lucky cup" you got to go to a movie FREE.

Face it, in small town Iowa, there aren't a lot of options when it comes to activities. So we went to "the show" a lot. It was exciting to see the movie marquis - to see what we could go to next. One theater in the whole town of 7,000 people. Comedies, RomComs, Horror - we went to them all. I went with girlfriends. In junior high, I met my boyfriend Mike Carlson there. We held hands. It wasn't all it was cracked up to be. My hand got hot and cramped. I wanted to move it, but was scared to....that boy/girl stuff was hard. In the balcony at the theater there were actually twin seats - with no arm in between. Sweet! My high school boyfriend, Mike McCauley and I went to Funny Car Summer - a movie about drag racing. Hmmm, must have been teen love - that movie sounds horrible to me now.

I saw a few more movies with my mother that were important in my life. I was in high school when the movie Summer of 42 came out. It was rated R so I needed an adult to take me. Sally's mom Anna Day and Mom took Sally and me to that show - a coming of age story about a teen and an older woman who loses her husband to the war. Mom and I cruised over to Omaha to see the movie Jaws. She left to go use the restroom and didn't appear until much later - after I began to get worried about her. She said she ended up sitting down in the back - because she didn't want to miss the action. I also saw John Travolta's Staying Alive with her. She became a huge BeeGees fan after that movie. These memories of Mom make me smile.

Okay - when I said there was only one theater. That is true. But in the summer there was one other movie option. The Drive-Inn! I don't remember our family going there. As a teen - you can bet my friends and I went. With beer! We saw all sorts of crazy movies - like Death Race and Blazing Saddles. It was easier for me to go to horror movies at the drive-in - I could distract myself there - not as scary. Wednesday night was Buck Night - we'd all pile in one car. Lots of good Drive-Inn memories.

College was another great movie memory time. There were some classics from that era. My college pals, Sally, Vicki, and Jane loved Rocky so much. We listened to the soundtrack endlessly. We had the poster. Adrian! One Saturday, after a long week, we attended a sobfest The Other Side of the Mountain - the Jill Kinmont Story". It's about a skier who becomes paralyzed. Then we went to a party and drank beer. Oh, college. Ghostbusters, Animal House, Halloween, Monte Python, High Anxiety, Kramer vs. Kramer, Grease, Heaven Can Wait, Goodbye Girl. I could go on...Halloween scarred me for life against horror movies.

We've come a long way from buying sheets of movie tickets for summer school break. Paul and I went to the new "A Star is Born" Friday night. I loved it. Stefani Germanotta (Lady Gaga) was perfect in her role, as was Bradley Cooper. Lady Gaga's voice has it all. I really appreciated a chance to see her without all the glamour of makeup. It was her first acting gig and she nailed it.

We live right by a huge theater complex. We used to look up movie times, arrive at the theater and buy tix. No more. There's a new way to buy movie tickets - it's complicated! I miss the days of real people. Yesterday I got online to buy tix on the Cinemax website. I needed to login with a new password and select the time and seats. Then I needed a password for Visa. Sure it may be less complex next time I get tix. If I remember my password. And my seat did recline - even better than those twin seats at the Atlantic theater!

Paul and I like to re-watch some movies - sometimes over and over again. We especially like comedies. I tease Paul about his go-to movies. Gladiator, Twister, Shawshank Redemption. He just can't seem to flip by those on the TV Guide without watching. We must watch Animal House, Caddyshack, Vacation and Ghostbusters every few years.

Paul and I don't to nearly as many movies as we used to. We have Netflix. There aren't as many that we wish to see. Movies are expensive (and tix are complicated). But I'm glad they still keep making them. Movies are important in our culture and as stated in this blog, they help make up the framework of our lives.

Paul Left Again...

Man, I really got you readers with my last headline about Paul leaving me. Yes, I baited you and it worked. I can see how many readers there are for each blog - it really jumped on that one. Sorry to disappoint. He's stuck with me. We do joke that someday he'll ask me to dress up in a brown outfit with an antler hood and I'll be walking in the woods - oops! Hit by an arrow. No officer - I thought it was a deer. Okay - that's creepy, but it makes us laugh.

This time he's in Green Bay with our son Judson. They have started a "thing" where they attend an NFL game each year. Jud is a Cowboys fan (did we fail here? or just let him be his little self at age 4?), and Paul is a Packers fan. Last year they were in Dallas for a Cowboys/Packers game. Paul had never been there before - Packers pulled out a win at the end of the game.

This year it's a Packers vs. Buffalo game at Lambeau Field. Paul took his Rodgers jersey for Jud to wear. A full one half of Paul's wardrobe is either Cyclone or Packers - so he's covered. The beautiful part of these trips is that Jud figures out all the logistics for his dad. We're hard to buy gifts for - so this is such a gift. They flew into Green Bay and had a room at an Air B & B very near the stadium. They will fly home right after the game.

Next year they plan to go to a Cowboys "away" game - visiting more venues around this country. I love this tradition - even though I'm not part of it. Hmmm, what can Amy and I do? Bonding - adult children are wonderful.

I love dive bars

Lunch at Hickory Park - Sunday

Last weekend Paul and I enjoyed another tradition that has become an annual thing - Cyclone Football with college pals. Steve (Moose) and Kay came from Gurnee (north side of Chicago) along with their children from the Twin Cities. Vicki and Fred came from Northfield, MN. My college roomie Jane and a couple of her kids came too. Others stopped by our tailgate too. I can't say enough about our host and hostess Kevin and Kari - so thoughtful and generous setting up the tents and chairs, sharing their spread.

The weather gods blessed us on gameday. It was a perfect early fall day. The Cyclones beat Akron. We went to the classic dive bar the Tip Top before retiring to our hotel in Ames for the evening. When we walked in the door, a guy was standing on a table trying to put his foot behind his head. It must have been a bet. Or the beer talking! 

It's such fun catching up with our friends. And we are starting to plan an Alaska trip for next summer. No college friend weekend is complete without a Sunday morning lunch at Hickory Park. We all know what we're going to order before we see the menu: smoked turkey on an onion bun with mashed potatoes & gravy. Paul and I shared a delicious hot fudge sundae. I had to rest on Sunday - having fun is hard work! 

This weekend is a quiet one. I went to the Farmer's Market Saturday morning where I found the jigsaw puzzle for this Christmas in Vail, and a baby gift for my new grandniece Lily Lopez. (Leslie's daughter). I love sending those Cali kids Iowa gifts.

On Saturday night, college roomie Jane and I watched the ISU game at the Angry Goat. I've known Jane since I was 18 years old. Lots of history! Of course, the game didn't come out like we wanted it too. The Cyclones hung in there but didn't have enough offense in the end. I trust our coach to keep these guys on the right track. 

Funny: at work, the State of Iowa switched our operating system to Google a year ago. Last week my Gmail updated to a new version that anticipates what word I'm going to type. I can hit tab to accept the word/phrase or just keep typing.

I started an email to my co-worker Becky to ask her to update my program webpage with a new document. When I send emails like that I sometimes just sign with an L instead of typing my whole name. Gmail tried to fill in

Love you,

Good thing I caught it! I actually laughed out loud. And didn't hit tab to accept. But I wondered - what if we all expressed our love and appreciation to each other more often? I've worked with Becky for 10 years now. I told Becky the story - what I nearly sent. And I shared with her that I have grown quite fond of her.

Thanks, Google, for reminding me that I should appreciate all of my relationships more. Please don't let me start emailing stakeholders - citizens of Iowa and landfill operators signing "Love you". That would be weird!

Paul is Leaving Me

Just after our 36th anniversary, Paul is leaving me. For just over a week anyway.

Thirty-six years. I can hardly believe I've been alive that long, let-along married! How did this happen? Luck and good choices. Both of us were lucky to live at 230 Campus Avenue our junior years at Iowa State University. It was a brand new apartment complex built on the west side of campus. My roomies, Sally, Jane, Vicki and I were the first ones in unit #421.

230 Campus Avenue

Paul wasn't there that fall quarter. He was off in southwest Iowa tagging geese at Forney Lake in Fremont County. His cute roommates lived in #209. We met them through our friends who also lived in the 200's. Eventually, Paul came back to visit and I met him at an FAC (Friday Afternoon Club) at the storied Ames restaurant, Aunt Maudes. It wasn't love at first sight.

During the spring of our junior year, Paul was determined to put together a co-ed softball team. He must have heard what excellent athletes my roomies (not Vicki :>)) and I were. I also snagged Jennifer Deter. He asked his buddies and between us, we had a kick-ass team! Before I knew it, I went on an actual date with the coach, one Paul Goldsmith.

That summer, my roomies and I lived in Ames and did odd jobs for the university. Important stuff like paint the broomball rink boards. I worked for the rec department and counted the number of people in the gym - walking a route between two buildings. It was a pretty good gig.

College Paul

At night, Vicki and I spent time watching a men's slow pitch softball team sponsored by Minski's Pizza. Paul and Vic's honey Fred played on the team. It was a great time, drinking beer and cheering for our fellas. One weekend, they played in Harlan, so we visited my Atlantic hometown. My parents got to meet "Goldy" as everyone called him. Some people still call him that.

Run Paul

Still - I thought it was a summer fling. He likely wasn't "the guy". Was he? Everyone has this dream picture of who they'll marry. I thought my guy would be a big dark-haired dude. Not this wiry blond farm boy. Still, we did have fun and both liked sports.

When I graduated in the spring of 1980 and moved to Sioux Falls, he still had some school to finish up. I wasn't sure what would happen. He came to visit me. We wrote letters and talked on the phone (expensive long distance calls). That was when we really got to know each other - without all the background noise of college life. We fell in love in slow motion and became best friends. It hasn't all been easy - but there is nobody else I want by my side.

Now I've been married to my best friend longer than I've been alive...okay, not quite that long. I can't imagine life without him. So when he leaves this week to go hunting in Colorado, he'd better not croak! I need the guy. Happy Anniversary 8/28/82.

  

High Anxiety - you don't win

In 1977, on a break from our vigorous study Iowa State University schedule, Vicki, Jane and I went to see the Mel Brook's movie High Anxiety. In the movie, Mel sings a little song that has the refrain, "High Anxiety - you win", he chortled.

Oh how we laughed at that idea. Yes we had worries as college students.

• What did I get on that test? (Back when they posted scores by Social Security Number in the hall outside the classroom)
• What will I wear when we go out tonight and will the cute guy be there?
• How will I get along with everyone on my dorm floor? (we had to call the girls next door on their dorm phone - to notify them that we could smell the pot they were smoking.) Of course we couldn't be as obvious as telling them that. Vicki came up with using a fake voice like an old neighbor lady - she dialed and said "Your dog's in our garden". Worked like a champ! They stuffed towels under their door...
• Later, I worried about, gasp, getting a job. I didn't want to move back home to Atlantic and live with Mom and Dad.

Mad Magazine's Alfred E. Neuman

As you can see - there isn't all that much to worry about there. My health was good. My parents were footing the bill - and I didn't even question that, or understand how lucky I was. It was just the way my life was - back before the price of college became so outrageously expensive. My parents and Atlantic grandparents were alive. Some of my personality traits were set by then. I feel nervous about being on time for anything (thanks Dad). Unlike my friend Chris Deardorff - to whom time has always seems to be an abstract idea.

I lost my "I am bullet proof status" in my 20's. I think most of us do. I worried about the usual stuff. Work, family, relationships, health. But not obsessively.

That changed last summer. I remembered just how bad is was when I got together with a couple good friends last week - and told my story. Thanks to Julia and Christine (who is looking great in her last trimester of pregnancy) for allowing me to tell my Graves Disease story - which is therapeutic for me.

Last summer before my Graves Disease diagnosis, anxiety was running high - mostly about my symptoms.

Once I was diagnosed, a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Even though I still had the medical symptoms, much of the anxiety was gone. Oh I still have my quirks! I am becoming even more of an introvert than ever. It's a good thing I have vitamin Paul to ease my symptoms. I wish it were that easy for everyone with major anxiety.

I'm working on being healthy - that's the best way to fight GD, which is an auto-immune disease that attacks the thyroid, causing it to emit hormones throwing one's metabolism and stress hormones out of whack. I'm hoping a March blood test shows me to be heading toward remission. No matter what, I'll always have GD and will deal with symptoms. But hey - everyone is dealing with stuff. This is mine.

Thanks to my friends and fam for helping me through this. For listening to my story. If you need a listening ear for your story. Just ask. We all have one. Or two!

Speaking of stories, the Creston wrestler who collapsed at the state duel meet the week may be released from the hospital today. His heart stopped and he had to be shocked six times before he got to Mercy right across from Wells Fargo Arena where the match was held. It turns out he has Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome. You can look it up. It is something could have taken his life without quick action by those present.

Facebook photo of Tayler and 2 CHS finals wrestlers

I worked with Tayler's grandmother at Gits Manufacturing (she is a character!) and remember Tayler as a little guy running around when Jud played soccer with his older brother. Everyone is so pleased with the great outcome from this near tragedy! And the Panthers bounced back with a 2nd place finish at state. Proud of our former home community and their support of this family.

Don't fail to allow failure

Are we a nation of Helicopter parents? This article in HuffPo has me scared. The title is, "Are We Raising a Generation of Helpless Kids?"

A couple of the stories in the article have me shaking my head. What have parents come to? We're afraid to allow our children to fail - paving their way through life until...when? How will they react when something doesn't go their way?

One story in the article is about a college freshman who receives a C- on an exam and right in the middle of class, she calls her mommy who wants to speak to the prof. He declined. Pat Bullock wouldn't approve. She believed in the school of "hard knocks". You deal with it. Mom did have her limits.

She picked me up when I didn't get any bids to be a sorority girl at ISU. Mom knew when to swoop in when necessary. (I guess Betsy's car getting nailed before her early morning in-home nursing visit in Omaha didn't qualify - sorry Bets). Staying in Ames would have left me hanging in the wind all weekend at the dorm while the other girls I went through rush with were getting ready for their welcoming ceremonies - torture. I don't remember the ride back to Atlantic for Labor Day weekend, but I'll wager it was painful for both of us.

Mom had encouraged me to go to Ames for Rush Week. I was a Kappa Kappa Gamma legacy! She loved her sorority experience at the University of Iowa and remained active as an alum. Cindy also loved KKG at Drake. Neither of Mom nor I knew what was in store - that the Iowa State University Greek system was at an all time high in popularity. That this little somewhat introverted SW Iowa bumpkin without the hair fixing gene was ill-equipped to face the gauntlet of rush.

While getting ready for the tours and parties - I started to "get it" - I wasn't a good fit for sorority life. I'd put my clothes on (I hadn't purchased a new wardrobe for this occasion) and a little eye shadow. Done! The other girls - oh the gyrations they went through and the beauty that emerged when they were through. I still don't know how to do that stuff, and obviously don't care to learn...it's not in my nature. Why would someone want to curl their eyelashes. Ouch! My makeup kit is a joke.

After my rejection from the Greek System - it was hard to return to ISU. But I sure wasn't staying in Atlantic! I bet Mom was fretting about it as she dropped me off again. Of course I wasn't thinking about her - I was all about me!

Dorm party - my roomie frosh Loraine on the left, Vic on the right and Jane in the back

The good news was that my pals Sal, Julia and friends I was soon to meet - Vicki and Jane, were not sorority girls. They lived on my dorm floor. It turned out better than okay for me - I met lifelong friends and did just fine without the Greek system. Thank goodness my mother didn't call the KKG main office and force them into admitting me into that house. I bet she considered it though...


My fro makes me taller than 5'10" Sally?

The next challenge was that D I got in Biology! Mom didn't call anyone then either. I figured out on my own how to change majors (several times - ending up with Fred Hoiberg's dad as my advisor), looked into (and rejected) the idea of going to a smaller school, and arranged for a tutor. It was all really hard to do. Doing all these things helped me grow up. My parents provided support to me in weekly phone calls (and cash). By spring semester I was getting As and Bs. I took Biology over and received an A my sophomore year. Still, as a third child and an introvert, it took me a long time to mature - many more years past college. Growing up is hard, even with supportive parents.

We parents do not like to watch our children fail. It hurts! Just like when they fall down - our urge is to rush in and fix it for them. When they were babies and took a spill - you could downplay it. Instead of rushing over you could say - from afar, "You're okay!" They'd often dust themselves off and keep on going. Real life can work like that - encouragement goes a long way.

Paul and I cannot claim perfect parent status. Just ask out kids. I swear they remember every parental "No No" I ever did, not thinking about the times I read to them, took them to the playground - the good stuff! But we did allow failure, and punishment when they were naughty. Again - not perfect but not helicopter.

In 1997, when I worked as Recycling Educator in Creston and my office was at Creston City Hall, the McFees and Goldsmiths took the children to the Lighted Christmas Parade. There was a soup supper at the Meal Site at City Hall. The kids got antsy and started running around. Amy and Krissy locked themselves in the City Council Chambers. That infuriated Kimmy and Jud who poked a plastic thing into the lock and snapped it off. Oops!

Jud and Kim HS Grad

The parents required them to apologize to the City Manager (the custodian was able to remove the plastic item) who gave them each a couple hours of trash pick up duty around City Hall as penance. Lesson learned. (At least it made me feel better - haha.)

One other thing we held back on was talking to coaches. And our kids played about everything so there were lots of opportunities! Parents get too wrapped up in this little microcosm of life -we were guilty too. We talked about sports too much at home - in front of Amy and Jud.

Coaches (and teachers) are like bosses - you're going to have good and bad ones. Kids need to learn to deal with them. It will help you later in life. They shouldn't have to put up with abuse, but when it comes to playing time - let them deal with it.

I believe in people being accountable for their actions. Too many parents today are trying to find ways to hold others accountable for what their kids do. How will that help them succeed in life?  I'm preaching to the choir here - I just wanted to let you all know that you're doing the right thing. It's not always easy. But it's right.

Iowa State Vs. Iowa football - memories

I was there for the first game when the ISU vs. Iowa football series kicked off again in 1977. So many students wanted tickets that you had to enter a lottery to get the privilege to attend. My college roommate Vicki and I hit the jackpot and were able to purchase tickets for something like $8 each. Woohoo! We made plans to stay with my high school buddy Mona Jones who was a frosh at Iowa.

Check out the Iowa banner behind me...

On Game day, Vic and I tailgated with Vicki's folks - they were ISU grads, but they had Iowa tickets for many years with their friends who had an RV. The game didn't go as planned - ISU was the favored team yet Iowa came out on top that day. Mona's dorm was rockin' with all the partiers later that night. Vicki and I decided about 1 a.m. that we weren't going to get any sleep. So we headed back to Ames. All the way Vicki took me through some story - where you had to make choices and those choices told you about yourself. It was cool! And kept me awake.

The girls at the game

The next year we must have all won the lottery. Or ISU received more tickets - because we all attended the game - which again was in Iowa City. Sal, Jane, Vicki, Moose and Steve. I kind of lost though - because I had to drive...after pre-gaming at Cy's Roost. We drew straws. We passed beers between cars on I-80. Crazy college days.

It was a long night for me - staying in the Chi-O house with Christie Jo Deardorff. I got a post drinking migraine - before I knew that's what I had. The game outcome was much better that year and we danced afterward with Vicki's folks and friends at the Airliner.

During the 15 year losing streak, time my parents, who were Iowa grads, invited Paul and me to attend an Iowa game as their guests. We lost something like 60-6. Butt-kicking. Thank you sir may I have another!?!

The losing streak thinned my skin. It's why I don't get into texting Hawk fans and joking about the game as much as others. They had the edge for 15 years. That took away the fun for me - not due to the good Hawk fans that cheer for their team through thick and thin. But we know those who like to jab like they're true blue and are quick to through the team and players under the buss at the first whiff of a rough season.

I'm trying to lighten up - it's been 16 more years after all. And the Cyclones are holding their own in the W/L department since that time. It's time for me to chill.

More Memories:

I was at one of the kid's soccer games when I heard that ISU was leading Iowa in 1998 - and it looked like the good guys might finally win one. The streak would finally be over. I still love watching reruns of that game. JJ Moses. Finally Jud had a reason to be happy to be a Cyclone - born into a losing streak as his birthright. Amy was happy too, but she wasn't into it like Jud.

2002 - Seneca Wallace brings the team back from several touchdowns down, giving Iowa their only loss. That guy was something to watch. I talked to him last year at one of our home games.

2005? Iowa was ranked and heavily favored. Jud and Paul went to the game. I stayed home. ISU won fairly easily. Drew Tate knocked himself out of that game after a pick.

2007 - ISU The Shaggy game - Culbertson, ISU's kicker, knick-named Shaggy, hits enough field goals to win the game. A drunk Iowa chick, smoking a cigarette shrieks at me from a car - calling me an "F'ing old Hag". And I said - "But I'm a winning F'ing old Hag". Love that story!

Iowa fan in a kilt...

Iowa won the next three - until 2011 when, in Ames in a back and forth game, I won the game for us in triple overtime by standing in a lucky spot on the stairs below the concourse. The excitement was heart stopping - over and over as each overtime went by. I high fived strangers. My phone blew up as friends around the country texted after the game. It was awesome and so very fun. My most fun time at an Iowa game.

2012 - watching on TV as Iowa State linebacker Jake Knott saved the game in the closing minutes by tipping and intercepting a pass. The radio feed notes Iowa's color man Ed Podoak stating "this should be a touchdown". Not. Phew! Relief!


There is some talk of ending the series. Logically it may make sense for both teams. ISU could use a cupcake. Why can't we schedule one or three? The Big 10 now has 14 teams in the conference - and scheduling issues. I don't care. This state loves this game. It's good for commerce, workplaces, media and people. I hope it never ends. I'll continue to work on my attitude.

Pondering the benefits of raising kids in a small community

When my sisters were here, we talked a great deal about our childhoods - growing up in Atlantic. Lots of fond memories - good people. And a few creeps! Haha...every town has 'em.

When it came to raising my own children - I gravitated right back to my roots. Kind of. Creston isn't all that much like Atlantic - despite the fact that they're close in size and are in the same athletic conference. While Atlantic is the preppy, dressed up cousin, Creston is the biker dude in leathers.

While each is attractive in their own way. Creston is better at hiding the good stuff...and in my view Atlantic uses the blow comb a little too much - a little too much show, instead of go. My view may be a bit tainted by years of our kids competing with Atlantic though - grain of salt...

In 1986 Paul applied for a job opening in Creston - we really thought it would be a stopover on our way to something bigger. On our way, we found a loving community - a great place to raise a family. So we stayed 26 years. Amy is planning her 10th class reunion - Creston High School...so I've been thinking. For one thing - WOW. How fast did that time go! Crazy fast. And we haven't aged a bit.

Deep thoughts:

• A community can be anywhere - right in the middle of a huge city
• Our community was Creston - it's like a quote from one of my favorite cartoonists, B. Kliban's "a plain but good hearted girl"

I can't find a picture of that one, but here's another one of my B. Kliban favorites - my college roomie Vicki and I found his books in college. I can't quote any classics, but damn...I know all this guy's perverted and funny stuff..

B. Kliban

• Childcare - we hit the jackpot. Carol Frank and family were fabulous for this young mother. Becky and Ron Riley's kids were there. The Steinkamps lived across the street from Franks and the other Rileys - Frank the UPS guy and his wife, Marcia, lived by there too - so we had big Ryan Riley and little Ryan S.
• I was working at the bank, and later Gits and a group of parents (it was the Beta Sigma Phi moms - yes, I finally pledged myself to loveliness, a sorority - best thing I did when we hit town. Thanks to Julia Stuetelberg, my AHS classmate Dave's wife,  who suggested it) put together a preschool carpool. Later we did the same for kindergarten before it went to full day.
• St. Malachy - the Catholic school turned out to be another community within the community. We found a home there, with the staff, teachers and principal (once they got through a few wackos like that Caroline who purchased a stoplight for the lunchroom. When it got too noisy...red light!). We served - Paul on the Board of Ed, me on the Foundation Board. The kids flourished - Jud got to wear the blue and gold for the Knights basketball team and Paul helped coach. Amy donned cheerleading threads - do you believe it? There weren't enough girls to field a team so she played hoops for the Creston team - they were very accommodating.
• The transition to high school from St. M was a little intimidating - but they already knew a lot of kids from sports. We had to meet the teachers and find out how to work with them. We became active with the booster club.
• In a small town our children were able to participate in many things. Amy and Jud were mostly interested in sports, but it could have also been band and plays. I miss our sports watching pals! Especially from Jud's class. Fun group - the parents all worked together and didn't snipe and get competitive with each other.
• Our kids could go to Family Shoe store, purchase shoes and we would stop in later that week and pay. Because Steve (Dr. Shoe) know us.
• They could go to the dentist or the eye doc and know they were with friends - people they've hung out with. You don't usually do that in the big city.
• Yeah, it's a little weird to party with a doctor that has seen your hoohoo...but to him, it's just another orifice. That's what I told myself anyway.

What's my point? I'm glad I grew up in a small town and raised our kids in one. Yes, there are tradeoffs. Amy found out the hard way that big city eye docs don't let you take frames home to show your room mate overnight. Big city high schools are able to offer more sophisticated curriculum and AP classes. But we did have Southwestern Community College. Neither Amy nor Jud is likely to live in a small town ever again - and I probably won't either. (except perhaps when we are in a nursing home and are in rooms near our homies who can remind of all our memories) We all appreciate our roots.

We're heading to Creston tomorrow to party in the park with Bobbie and Jeff! It will be like going home.

you may this after reading this blog....