Casseroles

My mother, Pat Bullock, was a casserole queen. She started married life as someone who didn't know how to cook. Lucky for her, she was so gorgeous and smart, Dad didn't mind. #hemarriedahottie

My parents, so young! and Dad's parents

Then she popped out four daughters in eleven years. Dad started traveling the state of Iowa Monday through Friday, repping Lorraine Lingerie. Mom learned to cook the basics. Susi, Cindy, Betsy and I laugh about the things she served us. I don't know how she stayed sane, cranking out meals every night, week after week. No wonder Mom came up with exotic delights like open face hot dog buns with hot dogs and cheese - broiled in the oven. Toasted ham salad sandwiches - ugh! We'd usually also have a salad offering like a canned pear slice on a bed of lettuce with grated cheese. The lunch menu was a peanut butter sandwich that includes a crisp piece of iceberg lettuce on white bread. Campbell's soup - chicken noodle or bean with bacon.

Mom at the stove

Dressed up to cook! 

You know I didn't really pay attention to my mother's needs when I was a kid. Most kids don't. Moms are service providers, right? I feel so fortunate that she worked hard to provide for all of our needs, raising us in our ranch house in small town Iowa. It was an idyllic childhood - one I remember fondly. Our parents didn't need to arrange play dates, the neighborhood was full of kids - families of four to seven running loose on foot and on bikes. At meal time she hollered for us or rang the bell by the back door. We came running.

My Mom didn't have aspirations to be a short order cook. Like many in the post-WWII era, she was a stay at home Mom. In her later years, I learned how much that took a toll on her own ambitions. She graduated from the University of Iowa, tops in her program - Political Science. Mom was busy in our little town - a valued Red Cross swim instructor in my younger years, a Cass County Hospital Board member, and she was active in the Republican Party. But she must have had that "woulda/shoulda/coulda" feeling - if only she'd been born later.

Mom's Thanksgiving dinner

My own years of meal planning and cooking - with the equal partnership of my spouse, increased by admiration of the job Mom did keeping us fed. Even if I do look back laughingly at the menu. In her later years Mom became a good cook. She worked at it! And Dad was the grillmeister. My sisters are all good cooks. I prefer cleanup duty - but can put together a recipe when pressed into service.

Of course, Mom cooked AND took the photo! 

Some people don't like leftovers. I thank Mom for my love of leftovers and the marvelous concoctions we call casseroles. She was especially good with Thanksgiving leftovers. Yummo!

I've never had the magical ability to combine the ingredients to end up with a meal. Thank you, Hamburger Helper! (Amy and Jud may not agree). This work outside the home mom needed all the help I could get to put meals on the table after a long day. We didn't always eat meals out of a box. There were jars (Prego) and cans (Cream of soups) included too. Spaghetti, chops, parmesan chicken, enchiladas and everyone's favorite (okay Paul's and mine) hamloaf. Not a lot of good fish available in SW Iowa back then. We did make a lot of soup - in the Crock Pot and clay cooker. I did have a few fave casserole recipes.

Casseroles mean more to me than food. They mean mealtime - togetherness. That's the best part. It isn't always easy to get the family together for meals once the kids hit sports practice age. Mom would keep a plate warm for me. We did that for our kids. Paul and I still try to eat at the table each night. Unless the Cyclones are playing. We do have our priorities!

Killer Look, Glasses, Visit from Jane & Ken

The fashion world fascinates me. I know, you couldn't tell it by looking at me. It's like cooking, gardening and now fashion. I like them to read and watch - more from afar. But in practice..it is not in my gene makeup to pull them off. It doesn't stop me from trying at times, though.

I'm listening to a fiction book right now by Linda Fairstein called "Killer Look". I've read or listened to all her books about a New York Assistant District Attorney character Alex Cooper. By now the character and her co-characters are like old friends of mine. One thing I enjoy about this series is that the author takes the opportunity to educate the reader about various topics. This book is about the fashion world. I learned that Russian Jews have had a huge impact in that arena.

In the midst of a murder investigation, the book gave background on Fashion designer Ralph Lauren was born in the Bronx to Jewish immigrant parents. His name was Ralph Lifshitz. The author went on to explain how cut-throat fashion is - especially now that the workforce is dressing more casually.

Ah...Leslie drifts back to fashions of yesteryear. When I first entered the workforce, straight from college, I went to stores like Younkers to pick up ready-to-wear "separates". Clothing wasn't always so easy to purchase. The clothing industry in New York City had a huge impact on sizing clothes so that "everywoman" could buy them off the rack.

Another fashion name mentioned in the book with an immigrant Jewish background is Anne Klein, born Hanna Golofski. That name brings to mind my mother and her friends dressed up for their daytime bridge club.

Dressing up for fam events

Today we are into "casual". Though I embrace that look - I do believe we have lost something by surrendering to loosened clothing standards. That said, I don't want to be told to, "Dress like a woman."  I do not like flip flops and tee shirts at work. I must admit that I have mostly given up on dressing up at my office. I salute Chad who sports work casual daily. No jeans for him. And Callie who wears cute fashions daily. Most of us just try to stay warm and comfortable.

What is my point? Just like with many things, I'm nostalgic for days past, when women like my mother dressed up and accessorized. It was great for her and her friends. But not enough to do it myself. We can be fond of the past and still move forward. Learning from history, understanding where we came from can help us do that.

Our friends Jane and Ken were in town this weekend (they winter in sunny Florida). Ken, a media guy, MC'd an event at the West Des Moines Sheraton. The couple scored the Presidential Suite at the Sheraton during the event and visited the "dignitaries" for drinks and sushi Friday night. The most impressive part of the suite was the giant shower, so I snapped this photo of all of us but Geri's husband Frankie - who must have been afraid someone would turn on the water.

Mom and me - big early 90's glasses. Now they're back in! 

On Saturday, I buzzed to Creston to pick up my new glasses. Always great service by our good friend Dr. Don McKim and the staff at Creston Vision Clinic. Bill Sorden always helps me pick frames that fit with my especially biffed up eyeballs. Talk about fashion. Check out my glasses fashion through the years. 80's ugh! Later I met my bestie Deb for coffee. I could have stayed all day spilling my guts. We had lots to catch up on. I miss seeing her more frequently.

Back at our home in WDM, Jane and Ken came to our house (life in the Presidential Suite was over) the couple watched ISU beat the Kansas Jayhawks in basketball with us. Beating KU isn't all that rare, but at Allen Fieldhouse is. They were our good luck charms!

Don't fail to allow failure

Are we a nation of Helicopter parents? This article in HuffPo has me scared. The title is, "Are We Raising a Generation of Helpless Kids?"

A couple of the stories in the article have me shaking my head. What have parents come to? We're afraid to allow our children to fail - paving their way through life until...when? How will they react when something doesn't go their way?

One story in the article is about a college freshman who receives a C- on an exam and right in the middle of class, she calls her mommy who wants to speak to the prof. He declined. Pat Bullock wouldn't approve. She believed in the school of "hard knocks". You deal with it. Mom did have her limits.

She picked me up when I didn't get any bids to be a sorority girl at ISU. Mom knew when to swoop in when necessary. (I guess Betsy's car getting nailed before her early morning in-home nursing visit in Omaha didn't qualify - sorry Bets). Staying in Ames would have left me hanging in the wind all weekend at the dorm while the other girls I went through rush with were getting ready for their welcoming ceremonies - torture. I don't remember the ride back to Atlantic for Labor Day weekend, but I'll wager it was painful for both of us.

Mom had encouraged me to go to Ames for Rush Week. I was a Kappa Kappa Gamma legacy! She loved her sorority experience at the University of Iowa and remained active as an alum. Cindy also loved KKG at Drake. Neither of Mom nor I knew what was in store - that the Iowa State University Greek system was at an all time high in popularity. That this little somewhat introverted SW Iowa bumpkin without the hair fixing gene was ill-equipped to face the gauntlet of rush.

While getting ready for the tours and parties - I started to "get it" - I wasn't a good fit for sorority life. I'd put my clothes on (I hadn't purchased a new wardrobe for this occasion) and a little eye shadow. Done! The other girls - oh the gyrations they went through and the beauty that emerged when they were through. I still don't know how to do that stuff, and obviously don't care to learn...it's not in my nature. Why would someone want to curl their eyelashes. Ouch! My makeup kit is a joke.

After my rejection from the Greek System - it was hard to return to ISU. But I sure wasn't staying in Atlantic! I bet Mom was fretting about it as she dropped me off again. Of course I wasn't thinking about her - I was all about me!

Dorm party - my roomie frosh Loraine on the left, Vic on the right and Jane in the back

The good news was that my pals Sal, Julia and friends I was soon to meet - Vicki and Jane, were not sorority girls. They lived on my dorm floor. It turned out better than okay for me - I met lifelong friends and did just fine without the Greek system. Thank goodness my mother didn't call the KKG main office and force them into admitting me into that house. I bet she considered it though...


My fro makes me taller than 5'10" Sally?

The next challenge was that D I got in Biology! Mom didn't call anyone then either. I figured out on my own how to change majors (several times - ending up with Fred Hoiberg's dad as my advisor), looked into (and rejected) the idea of going to a smaller school, and arranged for a tutor. It was all really hard to do. Doing all these things helped me grow up. My parents provided support to me in weekly phone calls (and cash). By spring semester I was getting As and Bs. I took Biology over and received an A my sophomore year. Still, as a third child and an introvert, it took me a long time to mature - many more years past college. Growing up is hard, even with supportive parents.

We parents do not like to watch our children fail. It hurts! Just like when they fall down - our urge is to rush in and fix it for them. When they were babies and took a spill - you could downplay it. Instead of rushing over you could say - from afar, "You're okay!" They'd often dust themselves off and keep on going. Real life can work like that - encouragement goes a long way.

Paul and I cannot claim perfect parent status. Just ask out kids. I swear they remember every parental "No No" I ever did, not thinking about the times I read to them, took them to the playground - the good stuff! But we did allow failure, and punishment when they were naughty. Again - not perfect but not helicopter.

In 1997, when I worked as Recycling Educator in Creston and my office was at Creston City Hall, the McFees and Goldsmiths took the children to the Lighted Christmas Parade. There was a soup supper at the Meal Site at City Hall. The kids got antsy and started running around. Amy and Krissy locked themselves in the City Council Chambers. That infuriated Kimmy and Jud who poked a plastic thing into the lock and snapped it off. Oops!

Jud and Kim HS Grad

The parents required them to apologize to the City Manager (the custodian was able to remove the plastic item) who gave them each a couple hours of trash pick up duty around City Hall as penance. Lesson learned. (At least it made me feel better - haha.)

One other thing we held back on was talking to coaches. And our kids played about everything so there were lots of opportunities! Parents get too wrapped up in this little microcosm of life -we were guilty too. We talked about sports too much at home - in front of Amy and Jud.

Coaches (and teachers) are like bosses - you're going to have good and bad ones. Kids need to learn to deal with them. It will help you later in life. They shouldn't have to put up with abuse, but when it comes to playing time - let them deal with it.

I believe in people being accountable for their actions. Too many parents today are trying to find ways to hold others accountable for what their kids do. How will that help them succeed in life?  I'm preaching to the choir here - I just wanted to let you all know that you're doing the right thing. It's not always easy. But it's right.

My last ever blog - #1,220

April Fools! I hope a few of you had tears in your eyes when you read the title...or at least were like, "Oh no!" or better yet, "Noooooooooooooo!" 

I can't stop myself - so no worries on me stopping blogging. Cuz I write the crap out of this blog. Collective sigh of relief. All ten of ya's. Actually I sometimes hit triple digits in readers. Not very often though.

April Fools Day - such fun. I played a trick on someone at work who wasn't even there. It was so easy!

So when Bill gets back from wherever he is...he's going to see a sign by his new coffee table in his cubicle. You see when the Powers reorganized our Bureau and brought Dam Safety and um the other people (can't remember their section name) onto our side of the building, we lost our food area - they look at maps there now. So Bill lost his personal coffee pot spot. Now Bill's relocated the coffee pot into his cubicle. The sign says:

Billbucks

(a little play on Starbucks - not to be confused with Bill Buck - Jane Buck's husband...)

"free sniffs"

Bill is very regimented. The sign might put him over the top.

I also texted our daughter to say "We've quit our jobs and are moving to Denver"
of course she texted back to say "Seriously?"
No, not really. But the way my morning started - got me thinking about it....#confrontation(not with Paul)

One of the best April Fools Day jokes I can remember was played on our very daughter a few years ago...you see - that girl - she's gullible. In a good way. Amy aims to please. When she worked at Marczyk's - the gourmet market in Denver some of the guys told her they needed her to deliver steam solution to the restaurant down the street. It was a clear liquid in a 5 gallon bucket and they told her she needed to be careful when carrying it because it could be explosive - so she shouldn't let it slosh.

Workers at the restaurant were watching closely (and smiling I'm sure) when Amy arrived with tired arms. Why? Steam Solution is water! Amy's Marczyk's bosses were so smug when she arrived back at the store after that. We thought the story was so hilarious that year - her father and I, so we told it over and over to our friends. But we couldn't remember that they'd called it steam solution - and called it bean pollution. That makes the story even better, ay? I think so since I fight pollution!

Grandma gave Amy an antique box - both my gullible girls are beautiful!

Amy comes by her gullibility from my side, I'm afraid. No - not from her cynical mother. It's from her grandmother - my mother. Those of you who knew Pat Bullock would be surprised to know that I'm sure. She had book smarts but my daddy could spin a yarn that lady would fall for every time. Then she'd say "Da - ve", making his name into 2 syllables when someone would break it to her that he was pulling her leg. My sis Betso has fallen for more than one gag too.

I think it's sweet.

It's no joke - Jud and Kara are in St. Louis looking for a place to live!

Kara and Jud look pretty happy with the arch in the background

Parenthood - we muddled through it

Our children didn't eat the healthiest meals. Amy tells people about our dirty little foodie secret - we ate Hamburger Helper. Heck - I admit it. The meals were easy and fast. Stroganoff, goulash, and cheeseburger - they tasted good, so the kids liked them. They also ate lots of spaghetti and pork chops/chicken and rice, grilled cheese, and soup. Your basic meat and potatoes. We'd serve vegetables with these meals, but it was tough getting Jud to eat them. I think we had the best luck with canned corn. Amy was more adventuresome.

 

It must have been "make a funny face" photo

We allowed them to order Happy Meals at McDonald's - before they were healthy. They loved the prizes and the fries. I bought sugary cereals - like Cap'n Crunch, Fruit Loops and another fave of mine - Lucky Charms. They're magically delicious, ya know. I grew up on the stuff and still like it today. We got Cheerios and Pop Tarts too. On weekends Paul sometimes made pancakes and eggs.

I was the baker - A & J helped me crack eggs for chocolate chip cookies. Sometimes they'd crack them right on the counter, missing the bowl. I'd try not to be impatient with the extra mess. It took extra work - I'd have to grit my teeth not to snap, as I'm not the most patient person in the world. I've written before about how rolling out Christmas cookies put me over the edge. Amy recalls how I threw the dough at the wall one year. Happy Holidays!

Loved those Easter outfits

Amy and Jud were lucky in the play department. I liked doing that! We went to lots of parks - we'd all get stir crazy at home. McKinley Park in Creston had a fun (and unsafe) kids area with a little swinging bridge and gliding animals that could knock unsuspecting kids down or unconscious. School playgrounds, Green Valley State Park and Rainbow Park - we liked them all. I loved pushing the kids on the swing. We also took Amy and Jud to cool playgrounds in other towns. Our dog Moki thought he was one of the kids. He'd go down slides with them.

Speaking of Moki - we made sure the kids grew up with pets. I know it's not for everyone, but I'm an animal person. It wasn't always easy for Amy and Jud to have Moki as a doggy brother. When he was 6 he starting drinking lots of water - and was eventually diagnosed as diabetic. I cried - thinking it was "curtains" for him. But no - we worked with our vet Dr. Brus to get him normalized on insulin. Everyone in the family eventually learned to give him the shots he needed twice a day. And we all had to make sure he didn't get any food besides his doggy food. Moki lived to age 13, followed by Odie - a plain but good hearted girl. Samantha the Pantha kitty was Amy's birthday gift when she was in 3rd grade. She lasted until last year bless her lil kitty heart.

I suppose I yelled at Amy and Jud too much. We attended parenting classes when Amy was 2 and learned to give "time outs" instead of spanking. Even so, at times I lost my temper and reverted to my childhood training of a whack on the backside. I hope my children weren't permanently traumatized. Amy was very stubborn and could last on our timeout bench for a long time before she would apologize for a transgression. Jud had to be relegated to his room - his 3 year old self would go into such tantrums, it was scary. Or he'd stop breathing and Paul would shake him and we'd yell "breathe" when he'd turn blue. I'm glad he grew out of that stage!

Looking back, it's amazing our kids grew up as well-adjusted as they did. Probably despite of everything we did rather than because of...
I like to read our niece Katie's blog about raising her children. The blog along with hearing my co-worker Becky's stories about her kids' antics bring back so many memories of the stages of child rearing.

This morning the CBS Morning Show featured a Mom who adopted a baby from Africa. The little girl turned out to have a severe heart defect. They tried to treat the problem once she arrived in the U.S., but she lived only 33 days and passed away recently. But the family loved her so well during her short time here - in photos she looked so happy to have a mom. I sobbed thinking of our baby Patrick - who died due to a heart defect after only 6 days of life in 1991. Stories like that bring it all back. I scared Odie with my antics! She had to get up from our chair - poor puppy. I would have liked a longer chance to mother Patrick.

Happy Mother's Day to my mom, Pat Bullock. I miss your strength, humor and intelligence. Thanks to my children who sent a nice gift, and for making me a proud mother every day. And to Pablo - who left me a nice and funny card today - and I'm not even his mother!

Spot off

Pat Bullock was no domestic goddess, but she was hell on spots. That woman had a way with getting all sorts of substances out of clothes. She'd dab the affected item with this and that, and soak it. This was before there were so many wonderful products on the market to help get rid of spots.

Me not so much, on the spot removal. So I was pretty proud today, when I took my pink V-neck t-shirt out of the dryer, I was overjoyed to see the spray from my Tuesday night Shrimp Scampi was gone. I noticed it right after Paul and I dined at the Club Car - a little joint in West Des Moines. It was greasy tomatoey stuff - not good. As soon as I got to Joan's I sprang into action and washed it out with some soap and cold water. In the morning I could still see the spots so I gave it a thorough dose of Spray and Wash. Then I let it air dry until I did laundry today.

Supper tonight was a little more exciting than cereal. A frozen fish filet in the microwave - lemon pepper. And I decided to finally cook the frozen box of "winter squash" I purchased last spring in a fit of healthy eating. It tasted like poo. Even with brown sugar on it. Yuck! The garbage disposal got it.

Tomorrow the girls are going kayaking. In the gloom and doom. Take that Mother Nature!