Preggo Dreams

On the deck at J and K's 

Finally, after many washed out attempts due to illness and the pandemic, we were able to visit Jud and Kara in Saint Louis. Yay! For those who haven't heard, they are soon to be parents. 💖

Baby Girl G is due in mid-September 2020. They wanted to break the baby news to us in person months ago. Thanks to Covid, we ended up finding out via Zoom call with the whole fam, including Amy and Corey. A new fam member is on the way - yahoo!

It's getting real! Jud and Kara have been working on the baby's room. It's really a large landing that will work as the baby's area while she is little. That way she'll be near their room upstairs. The small crib will fit in the closet opening - leaving room for the changing table, a dresser, and a rocking chair. It will be perfect for the little one.

They also had a few house projects for Paul (soon to be Pops). Yeah, I'm trying out grandparent names - almost as important as the baby name! (No, not really). J&K's cozy 1910 home - with the second floor added thirty or forty years ago, had been updated in recent years - before they purchased it. But you know houses - they always need something. Paul built and installed a couple of shelves. Jud and Kara helped and were on paint duty. There were several trips to Home Depot along the way. I was in charge of WD-40 patrol, spraying squeaky doors. And, mostly tried to stay out of the way - dish and cleanup detail. 

Closet

I didn't realize how much I really missed them. Zoom calls are nice, but they sure don't take the place of "in-person". Two weeks before our visit we really tried to curtail interaction with people to reduce the chances of spreading anything. I took along an enchilada casserole for Friday, we had bratwurst one night and they ordered Pi Pizza with cornbread crust one night - so yummy. So not our usual going to restaurants like we usually do in STL. There are so many good restaurants there. Jud and Kara have a lovely deck that is secluded thanks to lots of trees, bushes, and fences. There are lots of squirrels and birds to watch.

Kara is 7 months pregnant - and looks so darn cute as only preggo chicks with long torsos can. She's been feeling pretty good, though the STL heat in humidity is starting to take a toll. It's nice that they have a fenced yard so they don't have to take their good boys - pups Henry and Archie for walks. But they can if they feel like it around their cozy neighborhood in the little burg, Brentwood population 8,000ish. It's just outside of STL proper.

Kara's pregnancy has taken me for a walk down pregnancy memory lane. Pregnant with Amy, I stayed small for the first 4+ months. Then in the last couple of months, I got huge, eventually giving birth to a 9 pound 7-ounce baby a week past the due date. Similar to my Jud pregnancy though he was only 9 lb 4 ounces. Patrick, my c-section baby was breech, was a totally different pregnancy - only 7 lb 6 ounces. I didn't gain nearly as much weight with him. Wiser? Or just busier with 2 kids?

Bucko

While pregnant, I remember having vivid dreams - such as giving birth to a kitten. Likely because our cat Bucko slept by my legs. Kara said she's had some weird ones too. You know how that thing happens - when you are thinking or talking about something and it pops up in another part of your life? This week I was listening to one of my fave authors, Laura Lippman. The book is called "The Girl in the Green Raincoat". It's part of the Tess Monaghan series, one I had somehow missed reading years ago. In this book, Tess, a seven month pregnant Baltimore private investigator, is confined to her screened-in porch/bedroom due to preeclampsia. In the book, Tess dreams that she gives birth to a radish and everyone tells her it looks like her! Listening to this, I laughed out loud while walking on the trail. The book was a play on Hitchcock's "Rear Window" as Tess tries to solve a mystery stuck in her home. 

We are all so excited - dreaming about the arrival of Baby G! Who will she be? That said - I remember what those first few weeks of life with a newborn. With many employers, parents today get more time off when the baby is born. Especially dads. That should help in the lack of sleep department - a tag team. I recall being delirious at times - Jud was not a good sleeper. He really was a night owl all his life until he started working. Not good with a morning person mom!

In today's Internet age, the pressure is on for parents to present their homes and children as perfect at all times. That's why I always try to share my "fail" stories with young parents. They need to know perfect isn't real! And our home was filled with kid toys and well-worn furniture through those years. It goes by pretty quickly! 

The nutty stuff that I did is what my kids remember. 😶 Looking back, I do wish I'd been more patient. ...Note to future grandma...We took one parenting class and I read lots of books on the topic. I recommend all methods of learning for parents. There are probably lots of online resources. One thing for sure - kids need order. They don't need to be given everything they want. I hear Grandparents have different rules! haha

We got together with our friends the McFees this weekend. We talked and laughed a lot about the days (20 years ago) when Bobbie and Jeff with Kristina and Kim would have Sunday night meals with Paul, Amy, Jud, and me. The kids would play and we'd talk - about jobs, parenting, farming, our parents - everything! It was therapeutic. Hearing that other people struggle parenting too made it easier to accept. 

I miss Bobbie. Such a big hole in many lives. We'll go on, but we will not let her memory die. 

Places Everyone!

We all knew our spots in the Goldsmith Subaru. Jud drove, with Paul riding shotgun. In the back, left to right it was Kara, me, Amy and Corey - four people packed into a three-person back seat. We didn't want to take two cars as we drove about Saint Louis during the Goldsmith/Park Thanksgiving/Christmas adventure.

We arrived in Saint Louis last Wednesday, starting our jam-packed Thanksgiving holiday adventure. Amy and Corey had arrived the night before. First, we stopped by the Chess store and museum, because I'm a huge chess player and enthusiast. No, not really. But it was a cool thing to see. Did you know art and style to go with the game? I wish I was smart enough to play it. After that, we went to a vodka bar and then on to Pi, a delicious pizza joint.

Cheers! 

Post Turkey walk 

Thursday was Thanksgiving, of course. Boy, do we have a lot to be thankful for! Our family has grown to six, welcoming Corey. We are all thankful Kara is a fabulous entertainer. And Jud helps.  She prepared not one, but two superb holiday meals. Plus the table was gorgeous. The girl had a spreadsheet to help her organize the meals. Paul helped a bit with the turkey and we brought the usual creamy mashed potatoes, but Kara did the rest, including gravy. Sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, even sweet potatoes. Paul supplied the pumpkin pie for dessert. That night, we played a family game where knowledge is king. In team play, chicks ruled. Kara came from behind to roar to a victory.

Kara and Amy pose outside the Frank Lloyd Wright home

Kara made "chick plans" for Amy, me and her on Friday morning. We went to a local coffee shop for a delicious beverage and egg sandwich. Then we had a date with architectural history - Frank Lloyd Wright style at the Kraus House.  Besides the three of us, there were about eight others there, plus the docent, who was quite knowledgeable about the house, family, and architect. It was very interesting and I learned a great deal. FL Wright was innovative, and was a control freak and asked much of people he designed homes for.

Fun chatting with this group at Union Station

Friday was beautiful! We took the dogs (Archie and Henry) for a couple walks that day. Odie preferred to hang out at the house. We also watched the movie about the inception of the McDonald's corporation called Founder. It was interesting. We went downtown to check out the updates to the Arch and walked several blocks to view Union Station, whilst talking about best movies from the kids' childhoods. On the drive home, Jud took us by his new office at Purina. He works on the Beneful product line.

That night we went to Stacked, a burger joint on the south side of town. It was very good. Bellies full, we pointed the Subaru at Budweiser, the beer plant, where a free light show was being displayed. The warm weather brought lots of people out.

Saturday was Christmas! Our family will be with the "other side" (the In-Laws) for real Christmas. We opened presents early because Amy couldn't wait. haha. We had traded names and each person ended up with a lovely gift. We gave each grandpuppy a "dolly" but neglected to get one for Odie, so she spent the rest of the weekend stealing Henry and Archie's. I used my bath salts tonight (from Jud). About 11 a.m. we headed to a series of three local breweries. Schlafly, one with games and Urban Chestnut, where we sat outside in the sun.

Darts!

Saturday afternoon was set-aside for the Cyclone game watch. Except for Kara who slaved over a hot stove. Next time our Christmas may need to be planned for Friday. The huge chunk of prime rib took a bit longer than expected, and the Cyclone game (torture of another sad/close ending that did not favor the good guys) caused Paul to mix up the gravy while the game was still in question.

Dinner was served. The menu - scrumptious corn, twice baked potatoes and prime rib with gravy. Kara's hard work was well worth it. I was on cleanup duty for both family meals. Though I can cook. cleanup is my preferred slot. Saturday night was quiet. Corey and Amy headed downstairs to watch Clemson's big rivalry game with South Carolina. Lucky he didn't even need to hoot and holler much as his Tigers took out their rivals quite easily. The banana cream pie Kara made was a good topper for the evening - but the movie we watched was pretty forgettable.

I love hanging out with these people. Two-thirds of us talk a lot of sports. Kara and Amy aren't into it that much and get tired of the constant patter. I don't do that well at chick talk. Still we had a lot of laughs and fun. The main floor shower broke on Day 1, and the guys figured out how to fix it for less than $20 and a trip to Home Depot. It's nice to have an engineer in the family (Corey).

We took off fairly early Sunday morning, dropping Amy and Corey off at the STL airport on our way out of town. It's likely Jud and Kara went back to bed after we took off. They were probably pretty tired and ready to have their house to themselves again. I know what that's like. Amy and Corey were already in Denver at their place by the time we pulled into Des Moines. I feel very grateful for such a wonderful family.

The big event

And the process was grand!

I admit, I was a bit emotional this past week, leading up to Jud's much awaited wedding. It's milestones like these that make one consider our paths in life. How did I get to be a 58 year-old woman with this amazing son about marry a talented, beautiful, caring woman?

While in my car this week running an errand, a song came on that elicited thoughts of Jud through various stages of his life. (I was at one of West Des Moines long stop lights)
Picturing him:

• newborn - looking much like his big sis, but still like himself
• toddler, towhead blond - full of himself and impish
• temper tantrum boy - tough to wrangle because he was so strong
• those grade school years - when his love of all things sports emerged
• junior high and high school filled with sports practices
• entering college, a new Jud emerged - talkative and funny - meeting lifelong friends his freshman year, finding his way in life
• at his cousin Leslie's wedding in 2010, he started talking about a girl he was interested in. By Christmas that year, he was smitten
• following a career path in logistics, starting in St. Jo, Missouri - but staying kinda close to this very special girl
• Watching this relationship grow and mature - to when he called to tell me he was going to ask Kara to marry him

I admit, sitting at that traffic light, I went all "Diana McKim watching a Hallmark Commercial" and got teary eyed.

Right then I was sure I'd be a basket case at the actual wedding ceremony.

Fast forward. We traveled to Saint Louis, where Jud and Kara have made their home for the past two years, on Thursday morning. Kara had channeled my mother (AKA "the YMCA Director" Pat Bullock) and emailed an itinerary out that week. We planned to pick my sis Cindy and her son Colby and girlfriend Liv up at the airport that afternoon. Sis Betsy, husband Wayne and their oldest boys Alex and Paul flew in that afternoon and rented a car.

All our bags are packed - plus two long dresses!

Our home for the weekend was the Hyatt located right by the St. Louis Arch. So close I could spit on it! Okay, not really - but almost! Fabulous facility if you're ever looking for a place to stay, or hold a wedding. Kara and Jud decided if they were going to get married in STL, they wanted to embrace the location - instead of heading to the suburbs. 

Paul and I headed to Jud and Kara's apartment to meet up with her family that night for a picnic. It was nice to see them again in person since we hadn't gotten together since the kids graduated from ISU in 2011. Kyle and Renee's son Nate arrived shortly after we did with his wife and their baby Alexander. The weather forecast was looking promising for the big event! It was nice to have a casual event to meet with each other and talk - before "stuff got real".

Later we were able to hang out with family in our room which was "party central" - a suite. Daughter Amy and her boyfriend Corey had arrived that afternoon and went out to eat with a work friend of Corey's.

Paul was busy on Friday picking up tuxedos and shuttling groomsmen for theirs. After lunch at a burger place with the clan, I was able to hang out with Cindy, Betsy and Wayne at the free zoo in Forest Park. We didn't have time to see the whole thing, but the bugs and reptiles were cool. Amy, Corey, Colby, Liv, Alex and Paul toured Budweiser and got to see that neighborhood. Sister Susi and husband Jim arrived late Friday afternoon - we had a bit of time to catch up with them before heading off to the next act. A few of the Goldsmith siblings were starting to trickle in too. It was surreal having all these people there for us!

Friday evening was the rehearsal, followed by a meal Ballpark Village, a short walk from the hotel but right near the St. Louis Cardinals ballpark. Not a favorite team for either of my two guys, but hey - they can still appreciate a gorgeous park. Paul gave his toast at this dinner. He did a wonderful job. I'm glad I didn't have to speak! (I'm more the writing type!)

pretend wedding

My honey looking hot in his new sport coat

Jud and Kara on the walk to the restaurant

Jud with Whiteds

Rehearsal dinner gang

with Amy and Corey in front of the ballpark

When we got back to the hotel, my fam had arrived back from the Shaved Duck restaurant in the Hill neighborhood. It sounded like they enjoyed the food after a bit of a wait. We had fun chatting with family members for a while when Jud and Kara and some of her friends stopped in to say Hi. They were pretty wound up! I must say I didn't even hear Jud come in later to sleep on the fold out bed in the other room of our suite. I did get it all set up for him so he wouldn't be stumbling around in the dark! The wedding day deserves its own blog...