after my prep for surgery day, I'm nearly back to kicking ass and taking names! I truly feel better each day. Just one week ago I had to observe while my friends ate breakfast, as I was on my colon cleanse day. Yep, it was Jello and chix broth for me. I had to make an emergency run to Fareway for Popsicles and suckers, just for fun.
After "lunch" I began my attempt to drink the sodium stuff (lemon) that was to do the trick. It was only 12 ounces, and it was chilled and on ice. But I am not a big drinker anyway - and this stuff went down like cough syrup. As the day went on, I was beginning to think it hadn't worked.
Thank God for Nancy A and her breakfast story of her pre-surgery experience. She said while throwing a ball for the dog she suffered a "shart". What? We all pondered. She went on to explain that she thought she would just pass a little gas (after drinking the magic potion) and much to her dismay a foul liquid ran down her leg! Thank God she's a nurse and I'm sure she dealt with it as a professional! WTF!
So later last Monday night, I was in the bathtub, thinking perhaps I'd have to choke down the last couple ounces of the "stuff" that I had stashed in the frig. When I felt some gas bubbling through my abdomen. Light bulb moment. I could just try to pass the gas, but hey, what if I'm like Nancy. Oh damn - good thing I heard that story or I may have taken a nice shit bath. Ugh!
For the next hour or so I was a frequent flier on our potty.
Then came surgery. When I regained consciousness, I realized I was hungry and I began eating. And waiting for my sleeping bowels to wake up. For the first day and a half, there was no activity - not so much as a small fart (I hate that word and if you ask me it's grosser than the other F word, but it is descriptive). I much prefer Robbie Dob's term "fluff". Or our childhood term "putton".
I was starting to worry that the Doc had screwed something up. I was feeling painfully distended by food and gas at that point, and what if there was no longer a legitimate outlet? Sounds painful! Then, Wednesday night gas began finally making it's way through my colon. It took until Friday morning to produce a "nice BM" whereupon I texted my husband saying "Poop Happens!" I'm sure he was overjoyed and it made his morning at work.
Since then things have gone swimmingly! In fact my colon is very active - could it be the lower left side pains I've suffered lately were the result of my colon and the ovarian cyst? Hmmm one does wonder. For now, I'll enjoy the newfound colon motility. And now you know more about my body than you ever wanted to - but I wanted ya'll to know this shit (stuff) in case you ever undergo surgery.
After "lunch" I began my attempt to drink the sodium stuff (lemon) that was to do the trick. It was only 12 ounces, and it was chilled and on ice. But I am not a big drinker anyway - and this stuff went down like cough syrup. As the day went on, I was beginning to think it hadn't worked.
Thank God for Nancy A and her breakfast story of her pre-surgery experience. She said while throwing a ball for the dog she suffered a "shart". What? We all pondered. She went on to explain that she thought she would just pass a little gas (after drinking the magic potion) and much to her dismay a foul liquid ran down her leg! Thank God she's a nurse and I'm sure she dealt with it as a professional! WTF!
So later last Monday night, I was in the bathtub, thinking perhaps I'd have to choke down the last couple ounces of the "stuff" that I had stashed in the frig. When I felt some gas bubbling through my abdomen. Light bulb moment. I could just try to pass the gas, but hey, what if I'm like Nancy. Oh damn - good thing I heard that story or I may have taken a nice shit bath. Ugh!
For the next hour or so I was a frequent flier on our potty.
Then came surgery. When I regained consciousness, I realized I was hungry and I began eating. And waiting for my sleeping bowels to wake up. For the first day and a half, there was no activity - not so much as a small fart (I hate that word and if you ask me it's grosser than the other F word, but it is descriptive). I much prefer Robbie Dob's term "fluff". Or our childhood term "putton".
I was starting to worry that the Doc had screwed something up. I was feeling painfully distended by food and gas at that point, and what if there was no longer a legitimate outlet? Sounds painful! Then, Wednesday night gas began finally making it's way through my colon. It took until Friday morning to produce a "nice BM" whereupon I texted my husband saying "Poop Happens!" I'm sure he was overjoyed and it made his morning at work.
Since then things have gone swimmingly! In fact my colon is very active - could it be the lower left side pains I've suffered lately were the result of my colon and the ovarian cyst? Hmmm one does wonder. For now, I'll enjoy the newfound colon motility. And now you know more about my body than you ever wanted to - but I wanted ya'll to know this shit (stuff) in case you ever undergo surgery.
2 comments:
This made me laugh... I remember when Amy and I were on the golf team and every time they'd tell us it was time to "put," Amy had to suppress a giggle. I did the same after she clued me in to Grandpa Dave's endearing term. :)
haha, i always expected everyone else to know why i was giggling. i would forget that it's just a family term.
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