PVS

Pablo the Poolboy and I are victims of the dreaded - Post Vacation Syndrome. Sheeit. We looked forward to our weeklong vacation in Marco all the live long brutal winter. And it was great - just what the doctor ordered.

But now it's over. and we're - like supposed to pretend it never happened. We're just supposed to be business as usual? Dang...I'm having problems dealing with it. Oh I'll be okay - eventually. I'll adjust to the fact that vaca is over. But last week was hard. Real hard.

I was spoiled by living with my poolboy all week. I take it for granted. And then we part and it sucks - I drive off on Monday and steel myself to aloneness. I'm by myself in the world again. I have Joan - she likes me and asks about my day. People at work are nice. But nobody loves me. There is nobody wagging their tail when I get home at night.

I know - this is a whiny self pity party. I'll suck it up and dig back in. Maybe I had a hormonal thing going on this week - who knows post hysterectomy? That one ovary could still be firing. But Pablo said he felt it too, and he's all main baby.

Paul is definitely tired of his job. I wish something would open up at the state office, just so we could decide just what we want to do. That thought brings huge mixed emotions - the thought of moving scares the hell out of me. Creston has been our home - our touchstone for 24 years. We've grown up with our friends there - and have been through a lot with them. Our kids don't know anything different.

But the thought of living around Des Moines together is intriguing. So much more to do, but no good friends to do stuff with. That's the dilemma! I told Paul we'd have to get a place with a great guest room/bath so we'd have lots of overnight visitors for plays/concerts/restaurants.

Thinking about it makes me nervous, excited, queasy. Selling this house makes me sad and nervous at the same time. I've got no idea what it would list for and how hard it would be to sell.

At this point it's all in the future. For now it's time to go pack my bag for the week.