Saturday, March 13, 2010

Church thoughts

What do you all think about in church? I know...I'm supposed to be praying and thinkin' pious thoughts. But mostly I'm not.

I AM usually taking measure of my life - a good thing, right? I do tend to wander though...and like Carrie of Sex in the City, I do some questioning and some self talk during that one hour period each week.

Tonight, the sermon was the well known story of the Prodigal Son. I asked myself how I would feel if I were the good bro? I pondered whether the partier bro would still get another inheritance, after the huge party with the fatted calf.

A couple times during Mass we're asked to ask ourselves what our sins have been - and we're reminded that we are sinners. I usually start thinking about my sins sometime during church. It's not like I'm a big goody two shoes - I'm definitely no saint. But even back when I went to reconciliation (we used to call it confession) I racked my brain to come up with sins.

I freely admit it - I'm a meangirl. I'm quick to criticize others. Hell (oops - swearing is another one...) even in church I find myself thinking - I wonder if she's morbidly obese - has she ever considered that stomach band thing??. I think that's my Dad coming out in me. And I'm judgemental - wondering why so and so's husband is never in church. I look at my hands. More age spots. I'm glad I was never beautiful, otherwise this aging thing would be even more painful!

But I got no big stuff to confess. Yeah, I threw up from too much Zin in Earlham at my bday celebration. In a ditch. That's about as crazy as it gets. Then my mind drifts from my sins and I consider what to eat for supper after church.

Then I think about the upcoming work week. How can I get environmental education into Iowa's schools across the state? I plot and plan. Oops - time to stand up and pray. I sit and have time to think again - I remember to be thankful for all I have - my family, our health. I find comfort in the familiar faces around me in church.

We had been watching Big 12 Women's bball before church. I think about OSU player Andrea Riley - a player you love to hate. She makes clutch shots. She flops and gets calls from the refs - even on offense. She takes dumb shots and never gets bench. I consider this. She's one of those players who actually thinks she will make each and every shot she takes I conclude. On to the next non prayer like thought.

We sing a hymn that I like - though only the tune is listed in our hymnal, I attempt to sing alto, wandering back and forth. No one notices (I hope).

Amy I going straight to hell?

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