Surreal

Have you ever had one of those surreal occasions? A time in your life where it almost seems you're watching yourself in a situation, outside your body watching. This has happened to me in both good times and in bad.

When our baby Patrick crashed in Greater Community Hospital a couple days after he was born was one of those times. I remember hearing a baby crying during the night - I was still in the hospital after my C Section. I wondered why the nurses didn't do something!

Then one of the nurses came in to tell me that Patrick was in tough shape. What they didn't know was why. Life Flight was on the way and Father Howard Fitzgerald had been called. They tried to call Paul but he wouldn't answer the phone, so they called some neighbors who woke him up from a sound sleep and they stayed with Amy. He rushed to the hospital just in time to shoot up to Des Moines following the helicopter to Blank Children's Hospital.

During that moment, when the nurse told me it was Patrick in trouble, I shot out of my body - in denial that it was me going through this trauma. It was fucked up! Howard and I sat in my room the rest of the night with Fr H, making idle talk, trying to pretend it wasn't me - it was a mistake - he was going to be fine. Even now, when I hear of others getting bad news like that - it takes me back to that awful time. I get that dreadful feeling. I'm so sorry anyone has to go through that.

I've had that happen to me in funny situations too - in my current funk I can't come up with any specific ones. But they can be quite funny - though not always right at the time. When telling them later they're a hoot though. I'll try to think of some. Anything to think happy thoughts...