Here's what

I'd love to write:

Dear Editor,

Lois Monday is a crazy lady. She is a piss poor writer to boot. Plus she doesn't check facts - serving only to stir up the old farts at coffee. If you want to get the real truth about anything - don't believe Lolo!

Recently, at our house I found a stack of dirty cartoons on our printer/copier/fax. At first I thought "Why is Jud printing these sleazy cartoons on our printer?" because Paul said he didn't do it! Then I noticed the small Lois Monday Realty signature from the fax machine that sent them to my printer. What the hell was that about Lois? You owe me for a printer cartridge cuz you wasted lots of my black ink. And that's wasteful. Good thing I recycle printer cartridges.

Anyone who thinks the landfill should still be open should talk to Adair County - they tried to stay open and are now closing...too expensive!

Open letter to Lois-
Remember when you showed up at the Grand Opening of the hazardous materials facility in your curlers Lois? Now that was embarrassing! I had to introduce you to a couple people and you kinda looked like a crazy lady (et tu?)

Okay enough effort on that topic.

My children have used my as a MomMapquest. Sometimes I think cell phones make it too easy for older children to dump their problems on parents. I want to be here for them, but come on - try dealing with stuff yourself.

Jud had to drive to Moline, IL today for a 10 minute appointment to sample his hair for illicit drugs. I think it seems kinda silly to make someone take 6 hours out of their lives to do that, but perhaps that's one of the hoops they make young people jump through in order to test their mettle.

Jud didn't attempt to get his car ready for the trip until last night (despite advice days ago to do so). Lesson learned -
car frozen to the ground in a snow bank
after he got it out, his gas tank lid was frozen shut
Then after all that, this a.m. his car was dead - so he ended up driving his roomie's car, thanks Jeff!
Then around noon today, he called me asking where he was. He whiffed past Moline and was someplace past it not sure where. Good thing my webinar was over and I could talk and pull the map up on my computer. Perhaps I should have GPS locaters placed on my children so when they call to ask where they are, I'll know!

Finally I figured out that he was south of his destination and sat on the phone while he maneuvered turns and finally was on track to his John Deere drug testing location. He made it back to Ames after that with no locater calls. Phew!