Aunt Flo, Arthur Itis

Above - a picture showing that I DO know how to walk without falling down. And Ye Old sanitary napkin belt. Thank God they invented StayFree pads right when I started my period! And Platex made the tampon.

In the olden days - around Junior High for me, we girls came up with code phrases for when we had our period. There were phrases like "she's got the blues" Sherry Smith (our grade - there as also one a year younger so we always had to qualify) was famous for that. On the rag - I guess that was more from college. Or we'd ask people if they liked Ho Ho's - those plasticy treats were newly invented then. If they said yes, we pretended it meant they had their monthly menses. Tee Hee. Why that was funny, I don't recall...

But the other key period phrase was -visiting Aunt Flo (Flo like Flow - get it?) Oh those pad and tampon commercials were embarrassing too - especially when my dad was around. I didn't even like to tell my mom when I needed additional supplies - so I was sneak it on to the grocery list.

Now I have another embarrassing affliction (I know - having a period is totally normal and it's not an illness, but it sure felt sick at times!) It's arthritis in my neck according to Bone Cracker Dr. of Chiropractic, Wes. Arthur Itis! A disease of old people.

Dr. Wes put on quite a show when I returned for my visit today. He pulled out all the bells and whistles - a spine replica, a diagram showing my hot spots and the pièce de résistance the X-Rays, showing, alas, some damage in my neck area. Evidently, according to Dr. Wes, I injured it sometime. Perhaps it was way back when sister Susi hit me in the head with a baseball bat. Or it could have been that time in 2006 that I pounded my head into Sumner Street while walking with my friends. Nice black eye - good thing Paul had an alibi!

So Doc Wes put me on his table and manipulated away. It was a good thing I wasn't suffering from gas or I might have made embarrassing body noises when the Doc torked on my spine, neck and hips! My popping body sounded like seams ripping. After that I got to have one of those vibraty heat treatments.

Andrea (poor man's Julia Stuetelberg) signed me up for 2 more treatments this week. Then when I get back from vacation I'll be back for more. Unless Dr. Cindo cures me with her special friend Crisp Chardonnay!