It's prep day for my baseline colonoscopy. So you know what that means. Or...if you are a youngster or are avoiding your half centenarian duties you don't.
It means I get to eat a liquid diet all day today. Then, at 1ish (it was supposed to be noon but I did a radio interview at 12:30 so I pushed it back) I took 5 little laxatives. Now I'm supposed to drink half of a gallon of stuff - which has been chillin' in the frig. I know it's going to taste awful and make me crap liquid - called colyte or some such. I also get something to keep me from being gassy and crampy. Yeah right.
I'm supposed to chug not sip it. I'm not a chugger - of anything! I did put flavoring in it. It still tastes like shit. I was queasy before I started drinking this stuff!
It's not been the best day all-in-all. I did get to work at home, and loved not having to pack my bag since I'm not staying in DM all week. Yesterday I just went up for the day. I got up and walked a couple miles this a.m., but didn't do more since I didn't get to have my Wheaties.
Then we had a DNR Department wide meeting. I participated via phone. The director didn't say a whole lot. Nothing earth shattering. Then I was to do a phone interview with Iowa Public Radio on Iowa's Waste Reduction Goals. I had talked to the staff person about the interview a couple times and had sent her information. So I thought we were on the same page about the topic.
Wrong. Wendy from Cass County who I know quite well also joined me on the show. The interviewer - a guy, didn't catch his name, asked one question I was expecting and then jumped about on a variety of topics. He asked me about decomposition of waste in landfills when trash is baled. WTF guy?!?
I told him that's not my topic I'd rather talk about waste reduction - he veered back there temporarily. Then they took calls about plastic bag recycling and Styrofoam. Geez. Not what I was expecting...And on it went. When..I was rescued by an unlikely source. Our landline phone battery gave out and started beeping - I begged off when the guy asked about sighting new landfills and Cedar Rapids.
Back to my colon. The preparation is the worst part. Yeah right. Glass #1 is now history. Better go pour another. If only it tasted like a lemondrop martini...argh. I will spend a great deal of time on the potty tonight, and thanks to my buddy Nancy A, I won't fall for that - "oh it's just a bit 'o gas" feeling, or it could be a messy "shart" (figure out what that's a combo of...).
Tomorrow my husband will take me to the hospital at 7:15 a.m. I will strip, have an IV inserted. Then be sedated and a tube will be inserted in my nether parts not to be named. Luckily I'll be ga-ga and won't remember a thing! Hopefully shortly thereafter Dr. Kuhl will report smooth sailing for my colon. Then I'll be on my way home.
That will be it for me and health for the year I believe (she stated, fingers crossed).
4 comments:
when jud and i bicker tomorrow about something minor are you going to run out of your room and scream at us like a crazy person about how you had a tube inserted up your ass before you retreat back to your room and slam the door almost off its hinges?
oh wait, that was the LAST time you had a colonoscopy. my bad. haha...good luck!
And people say I have a good memory. That time I had a flexible sigmoidoscopy (sp) in the doc's office, which is much worse than this cuz you have to stay awake and it felt like the tube was going to pop out of my abdomen. Ouch. And it's only the lower intestine - this time it was both sizes - just for your too much information.
Do you remember when Dave B decided to mix his drink mix with Vodka? And then he crashed and burned in the halfway, gashing his head? The medical types get a big kick out of that story..........it shouldn't be funny but it is, because everything ended up okay!
I WISH I would have mixed it with vodka. I kinda remember that. Did he bump his head?
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