Gone to pot

It's prep day for my baseline colonoscopy. So you know what that means. Or...if you are a youngster or are avoiding your half centenarian duties you don't.

It means I get to eat a liquid diet all day today. Then, at 1ish (it was supposed to be noon but I did a radio interview at 12:30 so I pushed it back) I took 5 little laxatives. Now I'm supposed to drink half of a gallon of stuff - which has been chillin' in the frig. I know it's going to taste awful and make me crap liquid - called colyte or some such. I also get something to keep me from being gassy and crampy. Yeah right.

I'm supposed to chug not sip it. I'm not a chugger - of anything! I did put flavoring in it. It still tastes like shit. I was queasy before I started drinking this stuff!

It's not been the best day all-in-all. I did get to work at home, and loved not having to pack my bag since I'm not staying in DM all week. Yesterday I just went up for the day. I got up and walked a couple miles this a.m., but didn't do more since I didn't get to have my Wheaties.

Then we had a DNR Department wide meeting. I participated via phone. The director didn't say a whole lot. Nothing earth shattering. Then I was to do a phone interview with Iowa Public Radio on Iowa's Waste Reduction Goals. I had talked to the staff person about the interview a couple times and had sent her information. So I thought we were on the same page about the topic.

Wrong. Wendy from Cass County who I know quite well also joined me on the show. The interviewer - a guy, didn't catch his name, asked one question I was expecting and then jumped about on a variety of topics. He asked me about decomposition of waste in landfills when trash is baled. WTF guy?!?

I told him that's not my topic I'd rather talk about waste reduction - he veered back there temporarily. Then they took calls about plastic bag recycling and Styrofoam. Geez. Not what I was expecting...And on it went. When..I was rescued by an unlikely source. Our landline phone battery gave out and started beeping - I begged off when the guy asked about sighting new landfills and Cedar Rapids.

Back to my colon. The preparation is the worst part. Yeah right. Glass #1 is now history. Better go pour another. If only it tasted like a lemondrop martini...argh. I will spend a great deal of time on the potty tonight, and thanks to my buddy Nancy A, I won't fall for that - "oh it's just a bit 'o gas" feeling, or it could be a messy "shart" (figure out what that's a combo of...).

Tomorrow my husband will take me to the hospital at 7:15 a.m. I will strip, have an IV inserted. Then be sedated and a tube will be inserted in my nether parts not to be named. Luckily I'll be ga-ga and won't remember a thing! Hopefully shortly thereafter Dr. Kuhl will report smooth sailing for my colon. Then I'll be on my way home.

That will be it for me and health for the year I believe (she stated, fingers crossed).