All my heart and gizzard

Love this pic - the denim look

With cousins Colby and Jordan at Christmas

I never knew it would be this way. That having kids and loving them would be such an overwhelming emotional experience. I love their father, of course. But he is my equal - my partner. It's a different kind of love that I have for Amy, Jud and Patrick (our little angel in heaven). The kind that knows no bounds.

From the first time I felt that fluttering in my belly when I was pregnant with Amy, I was hooked. I had been through one miscarriage and the sadness that goes with the loss of a pregnancy. So it was exciting that I could now feel that someone was really "in there" and letting me know it. Soon after that, Paul bought me a diamond necklace to celebrate my first Mother's Day, even though our child wasn't yet born. It's still my favorite necklace - I wear it nearly every day. I guess I feel like it's a good luck charm all these years later.

My love for my children has sometimes played out as Momma Tiger. School bullying has been a hot topic lately. Neither of our kids was picked on a great deal - but I can think of times when Amy and Jud each came home crying about something that happened at school. I'm all for kids working it out but in these cases, Momma Tiger kicked in! In each case, I spoke to the other child's mom - you better believe it. Let's just say Tyler Linderman didn't make fun of Jud's jeans again. And Jimmy Ide didn't mess with Amy's purse either. (I'm not as much of a Tigress as my sis Betso, but I can growl if need to).

And when they played sports, I've got to admit, sometimes I was That Mom. The one that yelled at the ref a little too much. But hey, I didn't carry my own score book for my kid...And I never called the coach to see why my little baby wasn't playing more. (Even though I thought he/she should be).

Watching Amy and Jud each receive first high school and then college diplomas (in 4 years no less) made my heart burst with pride. Visiting Jud in St. Joe and Amy in Denver and hearing about their new lives as young adults also makes Paul and me proud. I wasn't prepared for those kind of feelings when I signed up for this parenthood thing. Yeah, it's not all hearts and butterflies - there is some not so fun stuff in there. Like getting phone calls about things they need help dealing with. (I'm glad Paul gets the car and grill calls). And we don't always get along the greatest when we're together for long periods, especially when we try to stay in the same hotel room. We're not used to each other's quirks anymore I guess...

Today for Mom's Day, my children gave me a fab gift (a gift certificate for shoes!) and both contacted me. I feel really good about the people they're turning out to be. They are the gifts that keep on giving. Feelin' the love with all my heart and gizzard (one of Amy's sayings when she was little).