Infidels!

I spent much of church thinking about infidelity. (I told you before about my penchant for daydreaming about life in general during mass - it's my time to think about life).

Last night we went to Casa (the local Mexican joint) with McKims after their golf game. Later, we stopped by Bobbie and Jeff's for a nightcap or 4 to watch the sun go down on their deck. It was gorgeous! And a bit chilly - Bobbie had to break out the fleece blankies her mom, Grace, made for the whole fam damily one year for Christmas. I got Jeff's cowboy model - extra long.

Idle chat of course turned to gossip. Diana goes to coffee weekly and gets the local gossip, so we heard about a couple couples who had strayed from the family bed. Nobody we're close to - anybody I've ever done anything with. But people we see - at work, or at church.

One couple - the people from church - I had just wondered about to Paul. Why wasn't the husband with the wife and two girls at church lately? It pains me that people will risk throwing away their beautiful family for a fling. What's it really about? And this wife travels!?!?

The other tidbit I heard was about a young woman who stood by her husband through his cancer treatment and while she was in labor, he was texting his girlfriend. And this is all in small Creston, Iowa. It's ugly people. I think that instead of worrying so much about not allowing same sex marriages, those people should come up with ways to strengthen all marriages to prevent these types of breakdowns.

I trust Pablo and always have - but traveling does leave each one of you alone, to your own devices several nights a week. Should I worry more? Should he?

In Florida this year sister Cindo asked me if I thought our dad, who traveled something like 35 years ever had women on the side. I told her I really didn't want to think about it. Mom said some pretty awful things about dad through the years, when she was feeling mean - but that was one thing she never brought up. Thank God!

Do people go into marriage thinking the whole fidelity thing is optional? And are there ways besides sex that people are unfaithful to each other? Can marriages recover from affairs? Or are the affairs simply the result of marriages that were too screwed up to last to begin with? Are some people (mostly men) biologically set to want to screw everything in sight? Is it asking too much for them to have just one partner?

I'm perfectly happy with just one partner. I realize I'm past my peak years now - so that probably helps. But I was never tempted to stray. Pablo the Poolboy and I are pretty evenly matched - when it comes to the bedroom (children avert your eyes). And that is important! And mattress related things don't always start in the bedroom - especially when you have babies and little kids. Those are the kinds of things a couple has to work through - before one gets all frustrated and looks outside the marriage for relief.

Ahhh. I coulda been a counselor. Or not - probably not enough empathy. Last night ended up with some laughs - some of our conversations should be recorded - so convoluted. Gotta love old friends.