Sarah with Baby David taken last summer - bet they've both grown!
December 1 and it's shirt sleeve weather. Love it! It's my niece Sarah's bday - she's 14. So glad my prissy sis Betso and her husband Wayne had a girl. They had three boys prior to Sarah's birth. Twins Paul and Alex (one of them was supposed to be female - they found out just before they were born that they were both boys). Then Eric was born when the twins were 3. Betso Bean loves her boys dearly but she was still hoping for a girl someday. Then on December 1, 1995 Sarah was born.
When Betsy was born, all I had wished for was a baby brother, so I could play with his boy toys. But no, I had a girly girl sis. She loved playing dolls. Her favorite toy was a giant Barbie head - you could do her makeup and hair. (Perhaps I should have dabbled with it a little - then I would actually know how to do makeup now...). "Barbie's Head is Nice and Big the TV commercial said."
After Sarah was born, just for fun B&W popped out one more baby boy, David. He was born the year our Mom died. Betso was 6 months pregnant when we all rushed to Atlantic to be by Mom's side as she succumbed to lung cancer. That baby bump was something for us to look forward to - a new life to come after Mom's death.
But oh how Betsy loves having a girl - to do girl stuff with. I must admit, that even though I'm still a tomboy at heart, I also love having a daughter! (see the blog from a couple weeks ago about the cardinal and testosterone poisoning..) It's fun to have somebody to shop with and to talk about something other than sports.
Tomorrow is a big day. It's the birthday of our baby boy, Patrick George, born 12/2/91 died 12/8/91. He'd be 18 and a senior in high school! What would he be like? Athletic, smart, musical, quiet, outgoing?
When Betsy was born, all I had wished for was a baby brother, so I could play with his boy toys. But no, I had a girly girl sis. She loved playing dolls. Her favorite toy was a giant Barbie head - you could do her makeup and hair. (Perhaps I should have dabbled with it a little - then I would actually know how to do makeup now...). "Barbie's Head is Nice and Big the TV commercial said."
After Sarah was born, just for fun B&W popped out one more baby boy, David. He was born the year our Mom died. Betso was 6 months pregnant when we all rushed to Atlantic to be by Mom's side as she succumbed to lung cancer. That baby bump was something for us to look forward to - a new life to come after Mom's death.
But oh how Betsy loves having a girl - to do girl stuff with. I must admit, that even though I'm still a tomboy at heart, I also love having a daughter! (see the blog from a couple weeks ago about the cardinal and testosterone poisoning..) It's fun to have somebody to shop with and to talk about something other than sports.
Tomorrow is a big day. It's the birthday of our baby boy, Patrick George, born 12/2/91 died 12/8/91. He'd be 18 and a senior in high school! What would he be like? Athletic, smart, musical, quiet, outgoing?
It seems so long ago when we were a part of his short life. He was born with a congenital heart defect - hypoplastic left ventricle. Going through the joy of childbirth and then the tough few days after he crashed and was diagnosed was the toughest time in my life. In many ways it made me the person I am today.
I wouldn't wish the death of a child on anyone, but I wouldn't wish Patrick away to avoid the pain. The first few weeks and months after he died, we were so fortunate to have a friend in Fr. Howard Fitzgerald to walk us through grieving. He truly was a blessing.
It was the early 90's and there was no laptop and no Internet. I had to read books about others who had lost children in order to absorb the experience, to understand it. I learned that men and women deal with grief differently. Often marriages don't survive the loss of a child. It was hard, but we persevered.
Now I have strength stemming from that little guy. And perspective. And empathy. Before Patrick, nothing really bad had ever happened to me before. That experience opened my eyes to to sorrow of loss, and the beauty of the support of family and friends.
Happy Birthday Patrick - we love you always!
4 comments:
aw, my kidlets are famous! I sure do love having a girl but love my boys too! Bittersweet memories about Baby Patrick---I remember us all taking turns holding him until he was gone. I remember not being able to stay for his funeral. I remember asking Fr Howard "why does this happen?" expecting him to have the answers but he did not as he cried along with us. Gone but never forgotten........
Although I did not know the name for it, I'm pretty sure my niece Jennifer died from the same defect as Patrick.(She lived three days.)
It is impossible not to wonder who they would have become. And not to ask, "Why?"
happy birthday patrick!
I always admired how you and Paul came through Patrick's life and death. Amazing, and I am impressed on how you can put it all in perspective today. I guess that's part of our maturity? Anyway, love to you both in remembering a very sad time. mary
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