Lincoln

After weeks of talking about it, Pablo and I finally made it to a movie! We chose Lincoln, because I cannot tell a lie - I have wanted to see that one since I read some of the reviews about Daniel Day Lewis's portrayal of the president. I wasn't disappointed!

I didn't realize that Sally Field (I remember Sally from her Sister Bertrille days - the Flying Nun. Loved that show as a young Catholic...our nuns wore habits back then, but no funny hats) had been cast as crazy Mary Todd Lincoln until the movie started. She did a masterful job of showing the president's wife to be on the edge of sanity - loving the president, yet driven wild by the sorrow and guilt of the loss of her son Willy. I loved the scene at the party, when she pulls herself together to greet guests, when she royally gives it to the Finance guy Tommy Lee Jones.

Director Steven Spielberg does a masterful job of showing the pressure on the president. Between the stress from family, the desire and drive to get the 13th amendment passed, the strategy of war and the sadness of the effect of war on the people, President Lincoln ages 10 years in a year.

Hmmm and I get stressed about garbage and recycling. I have had some other stuff going on these past few months too though...no wonder my hair has been falling out! I remember it doing this another time in my life after I'd had surgery. Sarah, my stylist says anaesthesia is hard on hair. And I had it twice in 2012 - Imelda my elbow tumor and then the shoulder manipulation. Add that to the stress of the move and illness and death of our beloved Bolder. I hope it snaps back soon - I can't deal with this limp crap on my head...

Back to the movie. Spielberg made me want to meet Lincoln! What a lovely father, boss, thoughtful man, and funny storyteller. Though sad, the movie had some chuckles. The ending was somewhat jubilant, followed by the inevitable - which was handled nicely. Damn you John Wilkes Booth!

The theater (Jordan Creek 20) was pretty full on a Friday night. Popcorn wasn't that great - made me miss the Creston Theater, where movies are $6 and popcorn is good. I did like the seats and pop holder though, with the cool sound system. Why, when one pays $10 for a movie, do we have to sit through a bunch of commercials before previews start?

A mother's angst

I got my hair cut today - and heard in person about my stylist's Mother's Day angst. It seems her son Conner (or his teacher) had invited her to a Mother's Day tea, complete with funny hats. It was set for last Friday. But sadly, Sarah never got the invite - which was sent home in Connor's backpack. She found out that morning about the event - and there was no way to change her schedule at that point.

So last Friday, all the kids in class, except Connor, enjoyed having their moms visit class. And, according to another mom, Connor's look of disappointment was so pitiful that day. When he got home he told his mom how bad he felt. And she was crushed! She told me she cried her eyes out. My heart went out to her. Sara said at bedtime she apologized again and tried to explain to Connor why she missed the Mom's Day lunch. She said tears welled up in his eyes - and her heart nearly burst. Only a mom can feel that kinda pain! 

What mom hasn't felt that inadequate at some point? Like you don't measure up - or aren't worthy to even have kids. Heck I often felt like I was over my head when it came to parenting. But between Paul and me, we muddled through it - and somehow our kids survived to become pretty cool people.

Sarah is taking Friday off work to spend the day at school with Connor. It's some special day - I don't remember what they're doing, but I'm sure he'll be thrilled to share it with his Mom. That's a good thing about children - they have short memories. (or they'll torture with your shortcomings the rest of your life by saying "remember the time Mom didn't come to the Mother's Day Tea and I felt like an orphan?).

Silver tongued Sarah

It all started two years ago when I first heard about Sarah, the Master Stylist at Sahar Salon here in Des Moines. Diana and Nancy were talking about her cutting their hair. Then my "stylist" at Hair House" moved away and Woody cut my hair - badly. I knew it was time - to finally get a good hair cut.

Now she's like a guy who could talk you out of your pants...except she's slowly talking into being one of those chicks who does hair! First...it was color. I'd had highlights before - just never good ones.

The first time she got out the blow dryer, I started with my usual - "I just let it dry naturally" and she insisted "Oh you can do this!" Then she showed me what to do, step by step. So I had to go purchase a blow dryer - hadn't had one for years. (And I had to get one for Joan's house too - so I didn't have to drag it back and forth).

We went along like that for over a year...me being so proud for self-grooming. I've written before about how I'm lacking the hair gene. Betso got it...starting when she was young, styling on Barbie's giant head, with that one lock of hair that grew. Cindo and Suso too - they used giant rollers and hair dryers back in the day. Not me - I was known to go days without combing my hair.

Today Sarah was itching to do something different with my hair - and I was ready too. thing a little longer. It was color day too! When it was all washed and ready to dry, she said, "you might need a flat iron for this one". Ahem! Gulp. She is slowly talking me out of my pants. Figuratively speaking....

Love the color.Style? Looks good when Sarah does it! I got a cheap flat iron tonight after work. But I don't think my hands bend that way. Wish me luck!

Haircut chatter

Sarah - good form in the blue shirt

I got my Locks of Like (don't get excited I made this term up) trimmed yesterday (they're not long enough for Locks of Love). My stylist Sarah ran the DSM Half Marathon despite being deathly ill with a kidney infection a couple weeks ago. She ran the whole thing - I saw her photos on Facebook later that day. They reminded me of my two Half Marathon experiences - and how much they meant to me.

 

So as she trimmed my hair we talked a mile a minute about it. That's what we usually do - each of us can hardly get a word in edge-wise. She is such a cool chick! Sarah is a HS graduate of the Muy Largo (I know Miss Spanish Smarty Pants Krissy, that word means long...but it looks like it mean large!) town of Murray where she was an excellent athlete who ended up with a scholarship to play basketball at NWMSU. I don't quite have her life story down, but she's lived in Arizona, and was once engaged to another guy before marrying Lucas, who is from Creston and dated my friend Jeanne Piel's daughter back when I worked at Gits (yes everything truly is connected when you're from Iowa).

Somehow she burned out of her fitness type job and other things she did and decided hair was for her, and by the time I knew about her, was doing hair at Sahar, a fancy schmancy place in DSM. (Plus she was married to Lucas and had 2 cutie patootie sons) Nancy Anthony, Diana (and lots of other peeps from Creston) somehow knew about her and filled us in at breakfast one morning at S&K. I was intrigued. A stylist who ridicules you? She did laugh at my hair style when I first went in - courtesy of Woody a stylist at a hair place in Crestonia. Man I thought some gay guys just had the hair gene - I guess they have to keep up on training just like everybody else!

We hit it off right away. Poor Sherri at Hair Designers in Corning tried to get me to blow dry my hair for years, but I was too afraid to tell Sarah "no". She showed me what to do while the dryer was going so it wouldn't go "poof"! I even purchased not one but two blow dryers. One for home, and one for Joan's, where I live when I work in DSM. Sarah is so spunky - she'll tell you just what she thinks! And yes, it's expensive - but I'm worth it!

So last night we discussed the Half Marathon. We agreed we both got emotional crossing the finish line. Because for each of us - putting the time into training, and working that hard for something...and then completing it was so satisfying! Her husband was very supportive of her efforts, which makes me think very highly of him. (and it makes her think highly of him too!) It reminded me of how my fam was very supportive of my effort - Paul and Amy both came for my big finish in 2007. Those things are important.

I'm glad my friends told me about Sarah. She's not just a stylist - she's a friend!

Heart pounding

The medical hits keep on coming! Now it's my other bro-in-law. The youngest one ! Ever so young - Wayne Kohan, Betso's husband. He's a year younger than I am.

Bets says he didn't feel well late last week, but felt good enough Sunday to try a bike ride. After ten minutes his chest tightened up and he decided he needed to get checked out. He had an EKG and echocardiogram.  Both were fairly normal but they decided to do a nuclear stress test Monday.

 He did not have a heart attack and had no muscle damage, but he failed the stress test, which makes them think there might be blockages.  So, the next step is a cardiac cath, where they thread the catheter with scope up through the groin to the heart to take a look. Jeepers! WTF is going on with our fam? 2011 has been quite the year.

Tomorrow is the day - he's going to Spokane to have the procedure since he's a doc and they don't do this stuff at his hospital in Kennewick where they live in Washington state. Fingers crossed meds can take care of whatever it is. Or a stent. Let's hope it's not as dramatic as open heart surgery!

To make things more exciting, baby David (I know...he's 13 now - but he was born the year mom died. So he'll always be baby David to all of the rest of the cousins and aunties) was supposed to be on a big class trip, but started throwing up last night. Then Sarah woke up feeling puckish as well. David went on the trip, but I understand he's holed up in the sick bay.

At this rate Betsy will be in a bed right beside Wayne with heart palpitations! Twins Alex (Washington State U) and Paul (Washington U) are college seniors and Eric is a new frosh at Gonzaga this year. So far they seem to be healthy. Prayers for the family appreciated. They need their daddy healthy! Stay tuned for news about the Kohan family health - after Wayne's procedure tomorrow a.m.

Got my hair did

Yep, I went to the fancy schmancy salon in West Des Moines to get my hair done, instead of the beauty parlor in Creston to get my hair did. It was quite the experience. I'd have to say about the only things Sahar's and Hair House have in common are the gossipy magazines you get to read while your hair is doing its color thing. Here's the link: http://www.sahars.com/

When I walked in the door just before 5 PM I was ready for something different. Until one year ago I spent the past ten years going to Hair Designers in Corning - Sherry was nice, and did a fine job with my hair - but she never got too crazy. When I took the job up here, I had to break up with her. It was just too much driving to go to Corning for my hair.

So I tried Amber at Hair House at my friend Patti's (she just turned Granny yesterday - congrats! Evelyn was born to Caleb and wife Charlotte on 3/16) recommended her). But a few weeks ago Amber moved to Burlington with her husband - so I tried Woody at hair house. He's gay - I know, I am totally stereotyping - but shouldn't he be a natural? NOT. I got a mullet.

Diana and Nancy both highly recommended Sarah Darby - married to Casee Piel's former HS BF, Lucas. And what a cutee he was, back in the day when I worked at Gits and CHS played in the state tourney. D and Nan said Sarah was a whiz who would tell it to me straight. And did she!

The top of your hair looks like a loaf of bread she said - like small town stylists cut it. I don't know why they do that, she pondered. You've got a couple styles going on?!? Do you like this color? Do you want it short? Yes I do I said. But not much input on end. I like the end product and like her. She's a pistol. And it wasn't much more than it costs in Creston. And I'm worth it.

Shirt Sleeve weather

Sarah with Baby David taken last summer - bet they've both grown!

December 1 and it's shirt sleeve weather. Love it! It's my niece Sarah's bday - she's 14. So glad my prissy sis Betso and her husband Wayne had a girl. They had three boys prior to Sarah's birth. Twins Paul and Alex (one of them was supposed to be female - they found out just before they were born that they were both boys). Then Eric was born when the twins were 3. Betso Bean loves her boys dearly but she was still hoping for a girl someday. Then on December 1, 1995 Sarah was born.

When Betsy was born, all I had wished for was a baby brother, so I could play with his boy toys. But no, I had a girly girl sis. She loved playing dolls. Her favorite toy was a giant Barbie head - you could do her makeup and hair. (Perhaps I should have dabbled with it a little - then I would actually know how to do makeup now...). "Barbie's Head is Nice and Big the TV commercial said."

After Sarah was born, just for fun B&W popped out one more baby boy, David. He was born the year our Mom died. Betso was 6 months pregnant when we all rushed to Atlantic to be by Mom's side as she succumbed to lung cancer. That baby bump was something for us to look forward to - a new life to come after Mom's death.

But oh how Betsy loves having a girl - to do girl stuff with. I must admit, that even though I'm still a tomboy at heart, I also love having a daughter! (see the blog from a couple weeks ago about the cardinal and testosterone poisoning..) It's fun to have somebody to shop with and to talk about something other than sports.

Tomorrow is a big day. It's the birthday of our baby boy, Patrick George, born 12/2/91 died 12/8/91. He'd be 18 and a senior in high school! What would he be like? Athletic, smart, musical, quiet, outgoing?

It seems so long ago when we were a part of his short life. He was born with a congenital heart defect - hypoplastic left ventricle. Going through the joy of childbirth and then the tough few days after he crashed and was diagnosed was the toughest time in my life. In many ways it made me the person I am today.

I wouldn't wish the death of a child on anyone, but I wouldn't wish Patrick away to avoid the pain. The first few weeks and months after he died, we were so fortunate to have a friend in Fr. Howard Fitzgerald to walk us through grieving. He truly was a blessing.

It was the early 90's and there was no laptop and no Internet. I had to read books about others who had lost children in order to absorb the experience, to understand it. I learned that men and women deal with grief differently. Often marriages don't survive the loss of a child. It was hard, but we persevered.

Now I have strength stemming from that little guy. And perspective. And empathy. Before Patrick, nothing really bad had ever happened to me before. That experience opened my eyes to to sorrow of loss, and the beauty of the support of family and friends.

Happy Birthday Patrick - we love you always!