Tilted Tree Missing

Hurricane Irma hit Marco Island, Florida last September. Mom (well, her memorial tree, anyway) didn't make it. Over fifty trees around the Gulfview condominium had to be removed after the storm. The old girl (tree) was twenty years old- planted by our parents' friends after Mom's death in 1997. Another storm hit early in the tree's growth, as it always had a "tilt" to it. Thus our annual photos "holding her up".

The pose - holding the Mom tree up

In the spirit of our mother, my sis Cindo and I love Marco Island. We were so happy to see that the island has recovered well from the storm. Roofers are going nuts around the small spit of land. Windows have been replaced - with a few more to go. Other than that it seems to be "business as usual".

We arrived on April 5th for our annual post-winter get-away. Iowa didn't get the memo that winter is over, so Paul and I were glad to go south, where sunny Florida treated us right! Colby and Paul spent two days fishing. They tried out a couple new fishing guides and had a ball!

Papa brought home supper, whilst I guarded the pool

Besides boat fishing, Colby got up early and fished off the beach by Tigertail

Most mornings we walked about three miles on the beach. Often the tractor man had groomed the sand, so it was tougher going and a good workout. A couple mornings we walked to our fave breakfast places.

Walking pic

View from 4th floor

Cindy, Paul (when not fishing) and I spent our afternoons scrounging for shade! The hurricane took a toll on the tree-lined are by the pool. I am not a sun-goddess! I did read five or six books. Our condo was on the fourth floor this year. A big change from 21! When I got too hot, I could sit on our deck and feel like I was by the pool. One day, when Cindy and I huddled under a couple palm trees, we nearly saw the old card-playing guys get into a fist-fight. Isn't retirement fun?

Bday girl and son

Of course, we went to our fave restaurants multiple times. We hit the Little Bar for Cindo's birthday. They always ask us if it's our first time there. Ha! Try 50th. I did veer from the usual and tried the blackened scallops instead of shrimp one night. Grouper almondine is the best though.

The Crazy Flamingo is off the beaten path, but we love their peel and eat shrimp. While the others dig the oysters, I go with other stuff like onion rings. Joey's Pizza completes the usual spots - their garlic knots are to die for. The pizza is pretty good too. We like shopping at Winn Dixie for lunch stuff - they have great fresh bread.

We took Colby to the airport in Fort Myers on Tuesday 4/10. It was sad to see him go. The joint always seems empty after he heads back to Vail. I have so enjoyed getting to know my nephew as an adult. Fishing nut, innovative chef, restaurant manager - and an easy guy to talk to about anything. I love his deep hearty laugh. He makes me smile.

Once Colby left, Paul was stuck with the women. We planned a couple tourist things - visiting Rookery Bay National Estuarine Research Reserve one afternoon. It was super interesting. We walked a short nature tour around the area and saw a small alligator.

Mangroves

The other highlight was the Marco Historical Museum. It's around eight years old. I can just imagine our mother volunteering there - in 7th heaven. She was enthralled with the history of SW Florida. It was very well done - beginning with the Indian tribes who had initially lived in the area. Marco really wasn't developed until the 1970's. Back when Mom and Dad bought their place in the late 80's, most people still hadn't heard of the area. Now, most people know where Marco Island is - many have been there.

Mom's tree might be gone, but her real tree - her family is going strong! Oh, how proud she would be to see our family tree growing - this year adding Alex's soon-to-be wife Lisa. This summer we sisters will gather in Oregon once again - honoring our parents and our family. The love is strong.

But vacation is over for now. Coming back to Iowa sucked - it was snowing. Ugh. Odie's caretakers spoiled her and she's doing great. I do love my bed. Life is good.

Free Range Children

I didn't really read the story - but I got the gist. Somewhere out east, a dogwalker saw some "loose" children at play in a park. They were GASP not being supervised by an adult. Gulp. How dare they. The children were taken in by some type of protective services and the parents were arrested. Someone labeled them the "Free Range Kids" - like they were chickens.

Um, I'd like to put out a warrant for the parents in Atlantic, Iowa in the 1960's and 70's. You're busted! I know it's a different era now - but arrest. Really? Kids can't even go to the park?

Mom's fortress - as painted by Marilyn VanAntwerp

Last summer a little girl was taken in here in Des Moines because she was left at a park all day. I can't remember if her Mom was working? Looking for work? In a bar? That made headlines too. The little girl was around eight years old, and didn't have any way to have lunch - so that's understandable that people were upset that she was left alone. So what is acceptable?

I saw a funny blog last week "What Would Mom Do?" Sneak preview - Lock us outside and drink a Tab.

That was pretty much our childhood - but Mom didn't lock the door - she just shooed us out. We ragamuffins did show up for meals though. Peanut butter sandwiches with a lettuce leaf in it. Iceberg!

Cindo and me today

When I got to hang out with my big sis Cindo on vaca in sunny Florida (Yeah, I'm rubbing it in), we talked about our idyllic childhood. The neighborhood was our kingdom! We'd trot through storm sewers, climb barbed wire fences up above Bredensteiner's house to get to the pond (Thar be frogs here!), and make anyone's yard our own. Any open space was open season for a pickup game of anything - football, freeze tag, hide and seek, and kick the can. My mother didn't lay eyes on us for hours at a time. Free range!

As a young adult I was a life guard at Sunnyside Pool. There I saw many Free Range children - on their own for the day....or under the life guard's supervision only. That meant they'd come and go to the park, eat junk if they had any money. Freeze if they only had a towel and it got cold. There was nobody at home if their parent(s) worked. Many rode their bikes to the pool (no helmet), or were dropped off with a wave. They survived.

I'm not advocating that everyone today should send their children off by themselves. Paul and I sure didn't allow our kids to explore on their own any too soon. I remember the first time I left Amy in the yard of our first home in Creston all by herself. There were large picture windows so I could keep an eye on here - but it was on a somewhat busy corner...and the street...it was so close! I watched like a hawk.

The first time we left the kids at home without a sitter, the Kristina and Kim McFee were with them at our house. Amy must have been about 12 and we adults were just downtown. Let's just say it didn't go the best - something about our dog Moki barking and the big girls thought someone was there and they all went outside...We received a phone call and had to go home.

Everyone needs to know their own child's limits and slowly let the string out as they begin to function on their own. I saw a great quote yesterday - it's very appropriate here. It's by William G.T. Shedd. “A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for.” You can't keep your kid in the harbor forever!

I feel fortunate that I grew up in the golden Free Range age. I hope today's children are allowed to range some too!

I returned from 10 days in sunny Florida to snow

Well kinda.

 

My office cubicle was covered with this snow-like stuff. All surfaces. A note on my desk said - "See What You Missed". Well played Jeff Fiagle, well played.

Oh how nice it was in Florida this year! The weather was fabulous - best ever I think - from the day we arrived to meet Cindy and Colby at the airport to the day we left.

When we arrived, we ate shrimp and drank beer at the Crazy Flamingo. It's tradition! During the week we walked on the beach - some 35+ miles. Colby and Paul fished. We even ate the shark they caught. We celebrated Cindo's birthday at Fin. It was fun. There was cake! No singing.

Birthday girl and son Colby

We cleaned up for the birthday extravaganza

Mom's tree - a bit more crooked every year...

Enjoying oysters our last night

Sisters!

Paul was proud of his shark

 

My favorite beach!

 

There isn't much else to write about our week. Rinse repeat. Beach walk, pool, drinks, supper - with people I love. It was just what the doctor ordered.

Sisters' weekend

My sissies are coming - well, two of 'em anyway. Susi had other plans involving husband Jim's army buddies. So she couldn't make it. Those other two girls I grew up with are coming. Cindo came to Iowa to visit us at our new home in WDM (that's West Des Moines Richard Lamm) last year. Now Bitsy Betsy is coming!

We have a busy agenda - I sent them a spreadsheet. Putting that together helped me organize meals and feel like I'm somewhat prepared for the visit. It's not like I will fall a part if we don't follow it exactly...but it's  a starting place. We purchased groceries tonight.

• Cindy arrives first - Pablo is picking her up at the DSM airport as I'll be in Iowa City doing an audit of the solid waste agency's Environmental Management System. He'll be waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs at the International (what...are there 6 gates?) Airport. He said he'd be holding a sign that says "Lafave sister" (her name is Lefebvre). Of course then we'd need to hold a sign for Betso that says Other Fave sister - and her name is Kohan.
• Paul needs to go back to work, so Cindo is going to knock around downtown DSM and the East Village. I'm printing her a map of the joint. http://eastvillagedesmoines.com/site/assets/map.pdf
• I'll be back around 4, and then we're getting some drinks. I think Locust Tap is in order - because there is no place like that. I don't want to go overboard...because
• Betso arrives about 11 p.m. That's like 2 p.m. her time. (really it's 9 p.m. - cuz she's from Washington). She'll be travel tired though - after flying all that way.
• Friday we're traveling to the mother ship. Land of our birth, the Big A, A-T-L-A-N-T-I-C. Atlantic. We will stop by the cemetery - our peeps are there. No...not them really. But we like to stop by there. Last year Cindy sprinkled some of her husband Bolder's ashes there. He loved my parents, and he cried when Patrick passed away.
• We're having lunch with our friend Kay Harris. She was a special person in our Dad's life.
• On the way back we're swinging by Walnut - to check out the antiques.
• Friday night is steak fry night at our place. Gateway Market filet Mignon's. Jud and Kara are arriving later from St. Louis - their friends are getting married in DSM this weekend.
• Saturday - you know what day that is. FM babay. Farmer's Market. We need some rhubarb - Pablo plans to make a pie. Damn we forgot the secret ingredient at the store. Pudding.
• We're hoping to see our cousin Bob after we "market".
• That night we're going out - to Jesse's Embers or Centro? Not sure
• Sunday is Father's Day. I hope I remembered to prepare and start the egg casserole Saturday night. Jud and Kara will be there. I'm glad the bestest daddy in the world will see 50% of his living children.
• That night - Queen will Rock Us at the Civic Center. We have tickets to the live event. I think we'll head downtown for appetizers first.
• Monday I'd planned to head to Ames to tour Reiman Gardens, lunching at Hickory Park. Rain may derail those plans though...
• We're having burgers that night with smashed red potatoes, a Facebook recipe that is so good!

last year - sprinkling Boldie at the Atlantic Cemetery (some of him got on my lips...)

So those are the plans - pretty simple. Mostly I'm looking forward to hanging with the girls!

Front of the line!

I knew it would be a good trip to Marco Island when my ID and boarding pass got the double beep at the Des Moines International Airport at the check station. I soon found out that meant I was on the good list - and didn't need to take off my shoes or have the whole body scan. Woohoo! That makes such a difference. Paul (aka the urban terrorist) wasn't so lucky...it must be that little Cy the Cyclone on his backpack...

Our Florida trip was perfect. Here are the highlights:

Mon and kid

• Hanging with my sis Cindo and her son Colby - hailing from Vail, CO. They don't see much of each other during everyday life. Colbs is busy with his job as a manager of a Moe's Barbecue in Lionshead. He lives near there. Cindo works in Human Resources for Vail - the company that owns the ski resort and lots of other stuff. It's a mad, mad, mad world in Vail HR. People get fired for drug use, stealing stuff, their parents get involved - and there are people working there from all over the world.
• Warm weather. It's been hell in Iowa this winter. Florida weather was heavenly. A bit windy but warm and sunny. Morning walks on the beach are part of what gets me through cold winter mornings.

Little Bar menu is handwritten - my faves: Blackened shrimp and grouper almondine

• Our fave restaurants - there is something enjoyable about feeling like a local on vacation. Little Bar in Goodland, Crazy Flamingo for peel and eat shrimp, even the deli - Big Al's, where I get a Reuben. Good stuff.
• Colby and Paul had fishing day on Monday - deep sea in the a.m. and inland in the p.m. Fun guy stuff.
• A madcap night out in Key West for Cindy's 60th birthday. The four of us took a road trip there - it was a 4ish hour drive with a stop in Islamerada. We stayed in Key West at the Parrot Key Hotel and Resort Inn - a cool place with 4 pools! We didn't spend too much time there. 

•  Key West is kind of a New Orleans surrounded by beautiful water, only reachable by bridges and boats. And it's cleaner. And has less music. But it's a crazy good time! I think Cindy's bday was pretty memorable. What I can remember.

smallest bar in Key West

Don't I look fab as a mermaid?

I thought this is so Key West!

Colby wheeling and dealing on hot sauce

• The day we got back from Key West (Wednesday) was pretty low key. It was Cindy's real birthday. I'm afraid I just don't pop back like I used to.

The early a.m. showed us many different shells than usual

• Colby went back to Colorado on Thursday. We took an early walk on the beach that day before heading to Fort Myers to shop briefly at the outlet mall. We were sad to see him go. Especially Pablo - no more guy talk and fishing...
• The rest of the week was pretty quiet - beach, pool, drinks, dinner. Sun! Some of the people around the pool are the same ones who have been there in years past.
• We went back to the Little Bar on Bolder's birthday - the 12th. It's hard to believe he's been gone for 2 birthdays already. We shed a tear. Miss that guy.

The Little Bar has a nut cracker collection - this is a biggie!

• It's always hard to say goodbye to Marco and Cindo. But I was glad to say hello to my bed and dog. Odie had an accident while we were gone. She bent a couple toenails back and the sitter took her to the vet to get the nails removed. $200+ later...she needed pain drugs - poor baby. She let us know about it too!

Can't beat this beach

Sad news upon our return. My Uncle Bill Lamm has had a setback and is now in hospice. He has pneumonia and was on a respirator. He just can't seem to get over the lung problem. I would appreciate your prayers for the Lamms as they go through this process with this wonderful man.

Marty and Bill a few years ago with grandkids in Hawaii

 

Missing FB and dreamin'

So let me get this straight. I've become so accustomed to my Facebook friends that now even my dreams have started inserting information about them. I gave up Facebook for Lent and I'm in withdrawal. I know...I'm not really supposed to talk about my sacrifice. It's part of the deal...no wrenching of my robes about what I'm doing without. But it's what I do - write about stuff.

Heritage House in Atlantic

This morning I dreamed one of my FB friend's dad is in a care facility in SW Iowa and can't really talk anymore. But he can still play cards. Hmmm. Where did that come from? I think the guy still lives happily at home with his wife. Paul and I WERE just discussing Long Term Care insurance yesterday. What to do about it...dilemma.

Facebook isn't my life - but I'd grown to depend on it a great deal for daily interaction. What's everyone up to? Who is having a birthday? What's happening in Creston and with my relatives? The other really tough thing for me...probably the biggest sacrifice. Not being able to share random photos and thoughts with my peeps. Oh there's Twitter - but I don't use that Social Media tool that way.

palm trees, pool - the sandy beach and gulf are just beyond the pool

Thank goodness for this Blog. Without seeing comments back though, which are mostly posted on Facebook, the Blog isn't as satisfying. But I'll keep plugging away. Just think how many comments I'll get to read on April 20th. April 20th...that's a long time from now. I get to go on vaca (our annual Marco Island, FL trip with sister Cindo) in the meantime, so that time shall fairly fly by.

Paul and Dave Fox had a rousing game of air hockey at Mercy hospital today. He is recovering well - but has some weakness physically. Brain injuries are awful things and each is different. Your continued thoughts and prayers are appreciated.

Skiing - beginning experience

Amy is skiing with friends this weekend. (Snowboarding really) I'm jealous - though I haven't skied for years now. I have many fond memories from my days on the long boards. Except that first experience...

Sister Susi (she had officially dropped the "e" from the end of her name by then -hippy!) was attending college in Denver. For the first two years, she was at Temple Buell - a small private school that eventually turned into Colorado Women's College. She played on the golf team and dated fellas from the Air Force Academy.

The Bullocks decided to visit Susi and try downhill skiing. We'd done waterskiing - so what could be so hard? I think I was in 8th grade. It may have been our Thanksgiving break. All of us - including my father were going to ski. Mom arranged for us to borrow ski clothes from the Pellett family.

The Paul and Betty Lou Pellett Family was Atlantic's version of the Kennedys (except Republican). I will do a whole blog on them later - what a clan! The Pelletts skied often and had the gear of the day - stretch pants, mittens and goggles. It was great that we didn't have to buy that stuff. Susi had been skiing since she started attending school there - so she was a bit of an "expert". I don't know if she had her own skis or not.

We were skiing at Loveland (click for webcam) - the first ski area on I-70 past Denver, near Georgetown where we had a motel lined up. It was so exciting and scary. Most of the family rented skis and boots, but not Dad and me. I got to use my Aunt Jean's 1950's boots (lace up - really?) and long wooden skis. Dad had some family member's too. That is important to this story. In that era, someone decided new skiers should learn with skis that were very short. So Betso, Cindo and Mom got that kind. Dad and I were in the antiques. (likely saving $10)


The probably weren't this bad..but in my mind...

Susi wisely lined us up for a short beginner's class on the bunny hill. That seemed to go okay. Then, after a sandwich lunch and hot chocolate, she volunteered to partner with me to go up my first ski lift. It might as well have been a NASA launch as complicated as it seemed to be with my mile long skis! Once I got my ass situated onto the seat, the ride was okay - but I knew the end was coming and I'd have to get off the damn thing.

And did I ever get off! I wiped out in the snow platform leading down from the chair and slide towards what seemed to be a cliff. If I went over that cliff, I just knew I was going end up with broken limbs in some sort of skiing hell. I was terrified and started bawling. Susi helped me maneuver my way out of that precarious situation and start down the hill - which seemed to be a sheer drop. Snot got on my (Pellet's) goggles. I sat on my butt and felt sorry for myself. Susi was forced to use all her collegiate (she was a Sociology major) and big sis tricks to get me going again.

Somehow, I survived! The rest of the family survived. My ankles and Dad's were very bruised from the old leather lace-up boots we wore. Cindy remembers being so very exhausted that she didn't even make it out for supper that night - she just went to bed. Mom was likely stuck dealing with Betsy, who was 10ish and I don't remember much about them...it was all about me, me me.

You'd think I would have never wanted to ski again after that experience. But somehow it was like childbirth...after a year went by, I'd forgotten the bad stuff! By then, Cindy was a frosh at Drake and she and her boyfriend Doug Mustoe took Jennifer Deter and me to some tiny ski place with a rope tow by Dexter. I wore fuzzy mittens (I guess I didn't get the Pellett equipment) and several times they stuck to the rope and continued around the top of the tow without me...I used new equipment there and had a great time.

Cindy had her new Christmas skis (K2s - I can still remember them sitting in her bedroom, a proud possession). Even though her love affair with Doug didn't last, the one with sport of skiing did! She went skiing often and eventually headed west to live in Vail after college graduation. The old bat (and I say this in a loving way...) will soon be 60 and skis often - even helping on the mountain at times when she isn't working her "real" job in Human Resources for Vail Resorts. She says the snow this winter has been fabuloso!

Sadly, Mom and Dad never skied again. Golf was more their thing. I will write more on the fun I've had skiing through the years - and if someone could plop me at the top of the mountain in gorgeous weather with my skis (not wooden) on, I'd do it again. If it wasn't icy or cold. And I could be guaranteed not to fall. Yep...I'm such a wiener. Writing about it almost has me excited about going again someday...



 

Veteran's Day - and the anniversary of losing our beloved Boldie

In some ways it feels like I just saw my brother-in-law Brian "Bolder" Lefebvre last summer. In others, I feel like I've missed him for longer than the year he's been gone. Bolder passed away a year ago today. I miss him terribly - but mostly so because I know of the huge hole his loss has left in my sister Cindy's life. Their son Colby is feeling the loss too.

Terrible picture...but one of all 4 of us so couldn't resist...plus Boldie's lil legs

Paul and I were preparing to move to West Des Moines last year when we heard of Bolder's serious reoccurrence of cancer. Virulent the doctor said. Our whole family rushed out to see him and to support Colby and Cindy during this time. The Alvillar girls were there with their mom, Susi. We gathered around for just a bit - and then left the Lefebvres to deal with hospice and...the end. Their wonderful friends, especially the Pottorffs. Eric was with Cindy and Bolder at the very end.

In the past year Cindy has gone through all the tough things. She was called "widow" by the pastor doing the memorial service. Man...that's reality calling. That word sounds like it should be reserved for some spaghetti Western movie, or rich older women dressed in black, riding in a limo. Not a five year old Subaru.

Cindy took part in grief sessions early in 2013. They were set up for people who lost someone - so included those going through divorce as well as death of a loved one. She shared some of the other stories with me. When we lost our son Patrick I read everything I could about others who lived through the loss of a child - reassuring myself that it could be done! There is something to be said for connecting with others going through similar circumstances to help you see that what your doing isn't all that crazy. Crying in your breakfast cereal, no energy - no interest in the typical things you used to enjoy. I wish those sessions could have gone on...but in some ways, it's good to move on.

So Cindy did. She is an awesome inspiration to me. I know she has gone through some tough times - and she keeps those to herself. Just like Eddie Murphy's character in the movie Trading Places - he says he's a "Karate Man" they bruise on the inside. Cindo doesn't like to show her bruises to the general public...or even her family too much. It's the English background you know - stiff upper lip!

I wish I lived closer so we could help more with the physical stuff - changing light bulbs and furnace filters etc. One day I called and her toilet had backed up...to the tune of $600, thanks to a root in the yard. That's when it's nice to have a partner to help share things with - the raking, pet duties, house, financial worries.

Great pic of 3 of my fave peeps!

Then there's being half a couple. I thought about that recently. Yesterday's blog about tailgating and hanging with friends - who were all couples. What a difference it would make if I were single. I doubt I would get football tickets. The thrill would be gone without Pablo to discuss the games with! And who would pack the car and drive me back and forth? I might go to a game or two...but not the whole season. One would have to make a concerted effort to get back into a social scene. And it would be hard.

I told Cindy recently how much we miss Bolder and how proud I am of her. She is making her way in this world and surviving. She isn't retreating into a total shell. This weekend she went to Denver shopping with Bonnie - and bought boots thank you very much! There is a lot of life left for my soon (April 9th) to be 60 sissy (and what a babe at that age!). Bless you Boldie (Coast Guard Veteran) where ever you are. Love to you and the rest of the Lefebvres.

Thanks to all veterans!

Dave served our country and Jean held down the fort while he was gone

Larry and wife Regina

• Our brother-in-law Dave Fox served in Viet Nam and then in the National Guard around the world.
• Paul's brother Larry Goldsmith was injured in Viet Nam. Paul remembers his parents getting the news.
• My dad served in Korea - we loved looking at his uniforms in the closet downstairs. Paula Bacon and I wore parts of the uni's for Halloween one year - including the boots!



Dad in military school uniform with Aunt Marty

• My great, great grand-dad Adnah David Bullock was one of the last living Civil War Vets in western Iowa. A Sherbourne New York native who mustered out of the army at age 18, he died in Atlantic, Iowa in 1941. Ironically, he married a Waukee gal, Ella Fuller, and I've now settled so close to there.

In another small world thing, note where Adnah David's brother lived, listed in the Obit - Earlville - where Paul is from. Things that make you go, hmmmm. Plus I liked how they noted he only had 2 of his own teeth and didn't drink. My grandfather obviously changed that trend - with the liquor thing anyway.  Wouldn't that make today's obits more interesting?

My dad's namesake, and Judson David's too...

Didn't see that coming...

I read a couple books a week - usually simultaneously. Yeah, now I'm just showing off (other people get stuff done - I read). This week I listened to a Thomas Perry book on CD. I like his Jane Whitefield series, which are about a woman of American Indian descent who helps people disappear. Usually they're running away from abusive marriages or the mob - that type of thing. Jane is an interesting character, very understated and thorough, and I like her Indian background and family lore.

The book I listened to on this week's trip was about different characters, though - "Night Life" starts with a beautiful young woman shooting a guy in the head. Tanya then adopts different names throughout the book, and "is" that person. Catherine - the cop chasing her is the Jane type character. We get background on both characters - I like that. How did they end up the way they are.

One thing I find interesting is that the author, a man, allows men to be portrayed as so shallow. He lets Tanya - the black widow - pick them up right and left. I began to wonder - is it really that easy for beautiful women to attract men? Can a hot chick show up at the bar and take a guy home any night she wants to? Do they buy her diamonds and fall into her web? Don't worry - Tonya got hers in the end.

The second book "Good as Gone" was by an author I'd not heard of before. It was about the kidnapping of a young child - a 5 year-old girl when her parents were visiting Paris. It reminded me of the story of the English family in Portugal or Spain that lost their daughter a few years ago. Usually kidnap stories freak me out. I have to read them quickly. This one was more like a "Taken" movie type scenario. The guy tracking her was like a younger Liam, and he winds up with a cute woman attorney helping him.

I thought I had the plot figured out...I'm pretty good at that. I started thinking the wife of the lost child had an affair and the real baby daddy had snatched the kid. But then there was a plot twist. They end up in Russia where Chernobyl fallout affected the health of everyone. It seems the pediatrician of the little kidnapped girl is there - it's a special clinic he's raised funds for to help the kids of this area. But wait, he's brought his own daughter because she's the same age as the stolen girl and - shock - she has what our son Patrick had hypoplastic left ventricle. She needs a heart transplant. The two girls have rare blood type. She needs to harvest the kidnapped girl's heart to put into his own daughter.

I break into tears! That was not expected. Did not see that coming. Just when you least expect it, your life ends up in an exciting novel.

Patrick

This novel (I know he's not real) doctor is willing to sacrifice the life of a healthy child to save his daughter who has what your baby died from. Our hero saves the day of course. He explains to the doc that it's not fair to cause Lindsay to die for the poor damaged heart girl. The doc dad kills himself. The book lost its intrigue for me. I just wanted to finish it.

With October just around the corner I've been thinking so much of my Brother-In-Law Bolder and my sis Cindo. I'm sure she'll be re-living events from a year ago. Being told Bolder's cancer was back. Learning there was no treatment, that it would be fatal.

Boldie

 

I remember sitting on a bench on Locust street during my lunch break in late October when Cindo texted to say Bolder had 10 days to live. Surreal. We gathered the troops to make the quick trip to Vail. I'm so glad we did! And the days keep passing and the seasons turn. Patrick and Bolder hanging, somehow, somewhere together.

One year ago...

What a difference twelve months can make. In church yesterday I was pondering again. (Yes, my mind wanders as the Homily drags on.) A year ago we were just getting home from our great family reunion trip to Cannon Beach, Oregon. This year...

S'mores...Cannon Beach 2012

• Bolder wasn't yet aware he was still ill with evil cancer
• In mid July I had my manipulation surgery to release scar tissue in my right shoulder after months of pain and immobility. That was followed by weeks of physical therapy and more pain. I was able to put my arm over my head for the first time in months, and broke through the pain after several week of PT.
• Paul had submitted his application for a permanent job in GULP Des Moines at the NRCS state office, and received notice that he got the job a few weeks later. It was one of those - "we hope it happens, "Oh shit" kinda things.
• We celebrated our 30th anniversary

He's got the jacket on here

Big stuff. All of these events have had huge implications. Except our anniversary, which was more like life as usual. With each passing year, and especially after this last one I realize how lucky and blessed I am.

Of course losing Boldie - in such a short time after the docs told him the cancer was back was the biggest baddest thing. It's all really still so surreal.

The shoulder thing made me realize I'm not getting any younger. Though I still can't seem to get in any kind of work out routine or rhythm. I know I need to do it, but I can't find my way there. I walk and ride my bike but it's all sporadic. I need a trainer and a plan. I can't seem to get motivated to workout after 10 hour work days. I'll figure it out eventually. I may have to bribe a certain workout fanatic from Creston to move to DMS.

If you read this blog then you know how much the move has affected our lives! Mostly for the good. We sure miss our homies - our Creston friends. And we still consider ourselves Crestonites - pretending to be city folk. I suppose over time that will change. I have lots of people who have lived here a long time say - "you do lots of things I never do". We just take advantage of it, because it's all new to us! We're like kids in the candy shop.

We like city life - and the opportunities the Des Moines area offers. It's convenient to live near an airport. Amy flies in tomorrow after her 6 week trip to South and Central America. We can go to any movie showing on any night. Restaurant options are limitless. We live on a bike trail and many more are minutes away. There are lots of concerts and live music opportunities and we're seeing Jersey Boys Wednesday night. The short drive home is sweet - especially late at night. Another bonus is being able to volunteer! I love hanging out with my Little Sis match, Chiya. She's been a blessing in my life.

I got to introduce Chiya to Amy

We have found that in Des Moines, we get to see friends from afar and family more often. We were able to host Easter this year with the Goldsmiths. Paul's sis Carol calls when she's in town visiting daughter Barb. Cindo and Bonnie came for a fun visit in June. Robbie Dob called when she came through town and Jane Ertl messages when she's in the area. Bobbie and Jeff stayed a night and we biked in our neighborhood, which was lots of fun. Mary Faber stayed last night! Kay and Alyssa Wilt called as they were heading through town. I need to do better about seeing local friends like Joan, Mary and Jane. It's nice living close to I-80. We got new beds ya'll - the welcome mat is out!

My shoulder gives me little reminders that not all of the scar tissue is gone. Early this year I even had to visit a chiropractor for some treatment. It's motivational, really. I'm not going to frozen land again!

I think of Bolder often. I picture him in his yellow jacket tucked into his plaid shorts like a homeless guy. He is with us going forward - especially in his son Colby (and his near-son Byron Pottorff). Our children too have absorbed their uncle Bolder. Legendary.

Change, though scary, can be good for us if we take advantage of opportunities. That's what we're trying to do by "living la vida loca". (well it's been crazy for us)