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| Patrick's tree - Atlantic Cemetery |
Last night I heard that tragedy had struck a Creston family over the weekend. Two brothers, 11 and 9, exploring and playing on their family's farm, drowned Saturday afternoon. They were students at the Catholic School where Amy and Jud went to school. Their parents own Creston Livestock Auction and their dad, Tom Frey is a champion auctioneer. He has volunteered his services for the past 20 plus years at the St. Malachy Auction fundraiser - to raise much needed money for the school. That was even before his kids attended the school.
DM Register NEWS
It really hit me last night - on the eve of Patrick's birthday. You just never know. We could bubble wrap our children. But they could still get some illness - or choke on the bubble wrap! And who could live wrapped up like that. Or not ever going anywhere. We could let fear paralyze us. What kind of life would that be? Not much of one. As parents we do the best we can - sometimes tragedy happens.
Still. I didn't sleep well last night. Does some greater power just watch and allow these things to happen? Why do some of us suffer, yet others seem to breeze through life? Are they more deserving? Or...as some say - does God just give us what we can handle? I am handling the loss of Patrick - the only way I can - one day at a time, and because I have no choice.
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| Patrick, December 1991 |
Back when we first lost our baby boy there were days I fell apart. I didn't think I could go on. But I was lucky - I had 2 other children who needed me. So I had to get my act together. I allowed myself the occasional blubberfest. But I had to decide. How would he want me to live? Would Patrick want me to live my life in mourning - less of a person because he had not stayed on this earth to be part of our family? I decided that answer was no. Slowly I entered the world again. It's a good thing too - my kids might be all growed up - but they still need me!
When we lost Patrick to hypoplastic left heart syndrome in 1991, we were very fortunate to live in Creston, Iowa. The people there surrounded us with love. Some of them were our good friends, but others were people we hardly knew.
The Frey family is going to need that love now and for the next - well, forever. A card, a tree planted for T.J. and Nate, a donation in their names. Or just a look, a pat, a hug - you don't need to say anything. That's all. It's up to you neighbors. Tom and Leisa need your love and support. I know you're up to it. You were there for us.
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