Taking the tube

I experienced my first MRI yesterday. Those initials stand for Magnetic Resonance Imaging. It's a giant tube that your whole body goes in to. My appointment was at DMOS - Des Moines Orthopedic Surgeons out on West 60th in a snazzy (that's an old fashioned word, no?) office building near the new Mercy and Methodist Hospitals.

Dr. Kallemeier - very nice

My new Doc - hand/arm surgeon Dr. Patricia Kallemeier had suggested I have the test - to see just what's going on with my owie elbow. I can see the wheels turning in your brains now - you're a klutz, you say - I've read about your idiotic falls. If not - let me refresh your memories.

First the spill on the main drag in Creston - it was because my knee joints froze up in the cold. My friends made me jog to catch up with them on that cold day. It had nothing to do with the one Mimosa I drank. Really. Then - I may have also hit my elbow when I broke my foot on the stairs at Joan's. But my foot hurt so much that I didn't pay attention to the elbow.

Last winter (or was it two winters ago) I decided it would be a good idea to oil the cupboards in the kitchen while standing on the little wooden step-stool. Probably not such a good idea on a bamboo floor - slick. I flew off, reminiscent of Chevy Chase's best Gerald Ford impersonation. My tailbone took the brunt of the wipeout - but there may have been some collateral damage to the elbow.

No matter the cause. My elbow hurts. I ended up at the surgeon after a couple other tests. The nerve one was kinda cool. That doc, a kindly yet nerdy old guy zapped my arm with electric shocks to see how it reacted. Come to think of it, he was a bit like a Nazi performing experiments on me...

Dr. Kallemeier wanted more information after she looked at my XRays so I got set up for the tube. DMOS's MRI machine is supposed to be extra big, but the cylinder didn't seem any too big to me. I had to take off my jeans and anything else with much metal in it, like my stainless steel necklace. The staff people propped my arm up on pads and told me to lay completely still so they could get good pics for the radiologist.

And I slid in. The headphones were good - oldies. I decided to squeeze my eyes shut so I didn't know where I was - even though the dang machine was quite loud, clunking and grinding. I was relaxed enough to actually doze off at one point until the MRI clunked and startled me. After about 35 minutes they pulled me out and gave me a shot of iodine, so the radiologist could get a better look at the bump in my elbow.

On Monday maybe we'll have more answers when I see the doc again.