It was a benign tumor

I knew when the nurse told me, "The doctor would like to remove your stitches herself," that something was up. I was back in at the DMOS (Des Moines Orthopedic Surgeons) office to see Dr. Kallemeier, the surgeon who removed the foreign object from my elbow a couple weeks ago.

You may have read that blog, but in case you didn't, here's the Cliffs Notes version. I'd been experiencing pain in my elbow for over a year now. I tried ignoring it, but finally got it checked out. A nerve study doc said I had a partially obstructed nerve in that arm. But I also knew I had this weird bump in my elbow.

After the nerve test, I was off to see the surgeon - Patricia Kallemeier, who ran me through some tests and decided to do an MRI. Next up, surgery to remove the darn bump, since I didn't have any of the obstructed nerve (called cubital tunnel) symptoms.

The object Dr. Kallemeier took out of my elbow was the weirdest thing. It had hair and little tiny teeth. It was my TWIN! Her name was Imelda and she loved shoes. Oh, no, guess that was from my Big Fat Greek Wedding - a great movie. And I made up the shoe part.

So anyway, while Dr. Kallemeier snipped those stitches, she explained the little pea shaped thing she took out of me was actually an Angioleiomyoma - a benign tumor. I'm her first patient to have this type of tumor. (and don't I feel special).

The article she gave me says 60% of people with these tumors experience pain like I did. (my exact words to describe this pain are "it burns like a bitch"). I guess the other 40% of folks have friendly non-painful benign tumors. Surgery seems to have done the trick! I've not felt the burn since she popped that puppy out. I'm glad the stitches are out too.

I feel very fortunate that - first, it was benign. And that I have great insurance and access to wonderful healthcare professionals.

I hope I didn't lose my love of shoes now that Imelda is no longer living inside me.

Mummy arm

Elbow surgery is in the past, best scase scenario so far -if the biopsy is what we're expecting. The little bump, that Dr. Leslie had speculated long ago was cartilage - was said to look like just that. Dr. Kallemeier thought it was a pea sized piece of cartilage. From one of my clumsy falls of the past couple years?

The Des Moines Orthopaedic Surgeons nurses called Monday to notify me I needed to show up Tuesday at 10 a.m. for surgery. Their surgical center is near their office - on 60th Street in WDM, off Westown Parkway, just south of University. I wore shorts under my sweats, hoping I'd get to keep them on with my sports bra, but no such luck. Undies and socks only, along with a lifeless gown. Paul and I waited quite a while as the Doc finished up another surgery. A nurse botched one attempt at an IV (I'd make a terrible heroin addict - small veins), but got try 2 into my forearm.

The doc came in for a last minute check and to feel the area. The bump was easy to feel, right under the skin on the inside of my elbow. She marked it with a pen. She was in scrubs - I was likely surgery number 3 or so of the day. Did that bother me? Was she tired by then? I thought about it. For a surgeon - it must be like game day! It's what they live for. Office visits are the boring stuff - what they have to do to get to the good stuff - their performance, fun!

We had decided I would be put under general anesthesia in case the bump was woven around nerves. It turned out that wasn't the case - but better safe than sorry. I walked into the surgery room. Brrr! The nurses were chatty, until the doc shot something into the IV that I felt into my lungs. I said a couple more words...then - lights out. I came to in my chair in the recovery room. My arm was wrapped elbow to hand. It's an amazing thing.

They gave me crackers and water. I was damn hungry since I hadn't eaten since 10 PM the night before and it was around 1 p.m. Paul said Dr. Kallemeier told him about the "bump". He said she told him it pretty much just popped out. Perhaps I could have had him slice it out with his deer cleaning tools (after I had several Lemondrop martinis...). haha We stopped at burger king for a chicken sannie on the way home. After a nice fatty lunch, I napped all afternoon, and woke up feeling pretty good.

Anyway - I am supposed to keep this mummy arm wrap on for 5 whole days. Right. I don't think so. I'll see how long I can stand it. There are only a couple stitches on under there. It's supposed to keep the arm swelling down. I have plastics baggy things to shower in. Nevertheless, I imagine some moisture getting in. And it will start to stink.

Hope this takes care of the issue - burning pain, sporadic and very distracting. If not - I'll be back in for surgery to move a nerve. I got some Tylenol with codeine for pain, but I don't think I'll even need to take any. Glad that surgery is over with.

Stubborn Wienie

Another Monday, a bit more snow. This one was slick as snot, according to those who had to commute longer than 3 minutes. That's about what my current commute is. Love it.

Back to the snow. Of course the sidewalk outside the loft hadn't been scooped, so Odie rebelled at the thought of tinkling first thing this a.m. when Paul took her out. It was still snowing right along, so we let it go.

At 11 a.m. , I had an appointment to see the arm surgeon again - after my MRI. I was glad to have the trusty Subaru driving to WDM for my appointment - the snow was still falling and roads were a bit treacherous.

The MRI turned up a nice shot of the blob in my elbow. Of course they still aren't quite sure what that lump is, but we agreed it needs to come out. I'm hoping it's the cause of the pain I'm feeling. Dr. Kallemeier says it could be a benign tumor on a nerve. Yay. (not) Anyway she's going to remove the little bastard on the 28th.

I was in a hurry when I came back (since the doc was running behind and I didn't get back until nearly 1 PM), but I realized I needed to run by the loft to take Odie out. Didn't want the little pooch to explode. I carefully scooped a path to her normal tinkling area, and clipped her on her leash for a quick jaunt out. She wasn't having it. I was angry. It reminded me of the days of having toddlers - totally unreasonable. All she had to do was squat quickly. But no! Argh!

I dragged her back upstairs and was very crabby with her. She got no treat. That's right - you heard me. After work - it was more of the same. Except I bumped my head on the metal railing for the stairs for our loft before taking Odie out - for nothing. Thank goodness when Paul came home she finally did the deed. I was tired of being mad at her.

I hope the winter clears up - I can't take much more of this stubborn wienie stuff!

Taking the tube

I experienced my first MRI yesterday. Those initials stand for Magnetic Resonance Imaging. It's a giant tube that your whole body goes in to. My appointment was at DMOS - Des Moines Orthopedic Surgeons out on West 60th in a snazzy (that's an old fashioned word, no?) office building near the new Mercy and Methodist Hospitals.

Dr. Kallemeier - very nice

My new Doc - hand/arm surgeon Dr. Patricia Kallemeier had suggested I have the test - to see just what's going on with my owie elbow. I can see the wheels turning in your brains now - you're a klutz, you say - I've read about your idiotic falls. If not - let me refresh your memories.

First the spill on the main drag in Creston - it was because my knee joints froze up in the cold. My friends made me jog to catch up with them on that cold day. It had nothing to do with the one Mimosa I drank. Really. Then - I may have also hit my elbow when I broke my foot on the stairs at Joan's. But my foot hurt so much that I didn't pay attention to the elbow.

Last winter (or was it two winters ago) I decided it would be a good idea to oil the cupboards in the kitchen while standing on the little wooden step-stool. Probably not such a good idea on a bamboo floor - slick. I flew off, reminiscent of Chevy Chase's best Gerald Ford impersonation. My tailbone took the brunt of the wipeout - but there may have been some collateral damage to the elbow.

No matter the cause. My elbow hurts. I ended up at the surgeon after a couple other tests. The nerve one was kinda cool. That doc, a kindly yet nerdy old guy zapped my arm with electric shocks to see how it reacted. Come to think of it, he was a bit like a Nazi performing experiments on me...

Dr. Kallemeier wanted more information after she looked at my XRays so I got set up for the tube. DMOS's MRI machine is supposed to be extra big, but the cylinder didn't seem any too big to me. I had to take off my jeans and anything else with much metal in it, like my stainless steel necklace. The staff people propped my arm up on pads and told me to lay completely still so they could get good pics for the radiologist.

And I slid in. The headphones were good - oldies. I decided to squeeze my eyes shut so I didn't know where I was - even though the dang machine was quite loud, clunking and grinding. I was relaxed enough to actually doze off at one point until the MRI clunked and startled me. After about 35 minutes they pulled me out and gave me a shot of iodine, so the radiologist could get a better look at the bump in my elbow.

On Monday maybe we'll have more answers when I see the doc again.