Bolder Memorial Service

I'm heading back to Vail Thursday to attend Bolder's memorial service. Paul arranged with Paul Lorenz at FNB for us to sign our loan papers a day early so I could leave. I wasn't sure if the service would be Friday or Saturday. So we'll head down to Creston Thursday a.m. and I take off for Colorado that afternoon. Paul needs to stay home and oversee the movers, who are hovering around the DSM area with our stuff in a truck.

 

I'm expecting a large turnout at this event, as Boldie is loved by all in the Vail valley. His mother Claire and Brother Bret and his wife are attending. Claire is in her mid 80's so this will be a tough trip on her. I will be glad to thank Bret for all his help for Cindy in Bolder's last few days on earth.

 

Amy will be by my side. Jud won't be able to attend - he's spent so much time traveling lately. I'm so glad he was able to spend time with Boldie last week.

 

I fly back into DSM late Sunday and will spend Monday at home unpacking and recovering. I feel bad leaving Paul with the move, but there's no other option. And he better put the silverware in the right drawer! No picture hanging before I return.

 

 

Isn't this a great picture! 

 

 

Brian Philip “Bolder” Lefebvre 1953 – 2012

Bolder Lefebvre, 59, passed away on November 11, 2012 after a 2 year battle with cancer. He died in the comfort of his home, after spending his last weeks having a great time with family and friends.

Bolder was born on April, 12, 1953 in Holyoke, MA. to Jerome and Claire Lefebvre. He graduated from New Hampshire College in 1975, and spent 3 years in the Air Force National Guard. He moved to Vail, Colorado, in 1978, where he was employed in the food service industry and as a retailer. He met Cindy Bullock in 1981 and they married in 1984. In 1989, they were blessed with a son, Colby Breton Lefebvre.

Bolder was loved wherever he went, and was the type of guy who could sit in pub and instantly connect with the staff and patrons alike. He was known as the Mayor of E-town, because he enjoyed presiding over the bar, and watching sporting events at that establishment in Edwards where he and Cindy live. Bolder was a big fan of the Boston Celtics and the New York Giants. He liked to cook and knew his way around a grill – helping to influence his son’s career choice. He wore his heart on both sleeves and both pant legs. He will be greatly missed.

Bolder is survived and lovingly remembered by his wife, Cindy, and son, Colby, of Vail. He is also survived by his mother, Claire Lefebvre, West Springfield, MA and brothers Brett (Trudy) Lefebvre (Newburyport, MA) and Russell (Beth) Lefebvre (Carmel, CA). Also left to mourn are Cindy’s family, many nieces and nephews, other relatives, and many friends. He was preceded in death by his father, Jerome Lefebvre.

A photo I scanned recently...

 

Party at the Lobby

I'm served up like Turtle Soup Bob Berning used to serve in his Chef's hat

It's our last weekend as Crestonites. We're going through some stress right now. Our Bro-In-Law is dying. We are moving from the town we've lived in for many years - so there are lots of details to attend to. We are living in temporary quarters. Paul has started a new job and I am in charge of a 1 1/2 day workshop this coming week at work. Even are dog is feeling it. Pressure!

We talked about it on our way to Colorado last week. I was in the mood to be bitchy to Paul and I'm sure he felt the same. Ready to snap. You know how it is - when the going gets rough - take it out on your spouse. We talked it out - recognizing the number of stressers we have on us.  No big knock down drag out fights so far. The movers come tomorrow. They will pack everything and load stuff into the truck. It sure is nice that we don't have to pack. So that helps the stress level. I am packing my undies, as I don't wish to have guys I don't know pawing through my drawers...(or even guys I know).

A few weeks ago we decided we wanted to have a going away party before we leave town. So we asked Tim Gray owner of The Lobby - the newest bar downtown if we could have it in the new room attached to the bar. The Lobby is at the former Bernings. That was where our first realtor Betty Brown took us for lunch when we visited Creston on our househunting trip. Bob and Frieda Berning operated the restaurant and hotel - years later we'd get to know them pretty well. Back on that first day, Hollywood Susie was sitting in the Red Room, in the back of the restaurant. She was wearing her crocheted beer can hat. Quite a character! When I saw that hat, I knew this was going to be my kinda town!

Anyway - I digress. Tim said we could have a party in the new room. We could hire a DJ. No charge for the room, as long as we would invited people who would purchase liquor. Hmmm that might be arranged. I called up Billy O. the DJ/Karaoke guy and we were set for November 10th at 8 p.m. Last night - party time baby!

Joni and Bill

It's not easy to get up for a party when your heart is heavy. But my sister Cindy had urged me to have fun. And I know Bolder would be all for it. We have to live. It doesn't help them for the rest of us to be sad all the time. We got to the Lobby about 7:30 pm. Dan and Denise Miller were already there because they thought the party started at 7 p.m. Denis and Mendy Ritzman arrived shortly after we did. Then the rest of the folks started rolling in. I was pleased to see Nancy and Kenton Groth, and Barb and Steve Crittenden stopped by too. I was happy that our neighbors Joni and Bill Taylor attended. They have been so good to us through the years...watching the house, loaning Paul their truck.

Billy O and his wife set up the music and we all moved into the party room, which is attached to the regular bar through a large doorway - so everyone at the Lobby could enjoy the tunes. It was a good thing too, because there were some darn good singers in the crowd - great for karaoke! One was a surgical nurse - a young woman in her 20's who did a great Carrie Underwood. Amy's classmate Haley Walters was there - though she didn't perform her single (from Facebook) "Crushin" she did sing a Bonnie Raitt tune. Near the end of the evening, Deb and I sang backup for Dan Miller on "You Don't Call Me Darlin". He's great on that song!

I'm no lead singer - but Dan is! Deb and I back him up

Home girls lookin' good!

And we danced. Did I mention all my fave peeps were there. Besides the ones already mentioned - The homegirls and their fellas: Joan Weis, Patti Kralik (see I didn't call her Antisdel), Deb Peterson, Pat Moeller, Susan Weineheimer, Nancy Anthony, Bobbie McFee, Diana McKim. Man, how I'll miss them. I reminded them I must be invited to their holiday gathering. Let's hope they don't forget! Deb broke the dancing ice by requesting "Love Shack". I gots to dance to that song! 15 miles to the Love Shack! There were many favorites. One thing I found is that I'm not bad at line dancing when I've only had a couple beers. We finally dragged the guys out to dance when the song "Shout" was played. McKims really got in the spirit and flopped onto the floor on their backs. Too soon it was over.

We had fun dancing

I was tired though. And I knew I had underpants to pack today! My last day as a Crestonite. It's been a good run.

Full of Thanks

Thank you to all the Veterans and actively serving troops. We can never thank you and your families enough for your service to our country.

Next - a shout out to my fabulous family. We are strong and loving. It never shows more than when one of us needs the support of the others - as when some 21 years ago, Baby Patrick was born and too soon, died. And now when our beloved Boldie is spending his last few days on earth.

Last Sunday, Paul and I drove to Colorado - stopping at Amy's in Denver when we got there. It was my birthday! The big double nickle. I recall when my dad turned 55 - he said he was turning the speed limit. Yay. Sister Betsy and Jud were each due at the airport about 4:30 p.m. so we picked them up and drove up in 2 cars - the gals in Amy's Honda Fit and Jud and Paul talking sports in our car. (I suggested they talk about their feelings and emotions, but I don't think that happened...)

When we got to Lefebvre's home in Edwards, Colorado - a mountain village just past Vail at 7:30ish. The Alvillar girls were already there - my sis Susan and her daughters. Bolder - prognosis BAD, was settled into his chair, tucked in with a blanket. Son Colby was there too. Friends had delivered fab food. My nieces, Leslie and Jordan - the lil cuties - had gotten me party hats and a badge for my birthday. The hats said something naughty - Susi was a bit embarrassed that her daughters had purchased them, until I reminded her I am a former landfill lady and have a bit of a potty mouth...The girls also got mustaches for all of us - in honor of their Uncle Boldie, who sports a great 'stache.

My kids (I'm guessing Amy) put me through a "follow the clues" to my birthday gift - tickets to Book of Mormon, when it comes to DSM. Can't wait to see it! My sissies purchased a couple cakes. Cindo's neighbor offered rooms in her home for the kids to stay in. Paul and I and Susi and the girls had hotel rooms - we headed there pretty early as everyone was beat. Betsy - our resident nurse (though she's a retired RN to concentrate on her true love - selling Longaberger baskets) stayed in Lefebvre's spare room. Bolder's condition is worsening daily.

The next day we arrived back at their place in the a.m. to eat the quiches friend Eric Pottorff had baked ahead. Fab! Bets was able to attend a doctor's appointment with Cindo and Bold. It was as we feared - all blood counts were worsening. We were glad Bolder was able to go to the pub that night with us, before the kids headed back to Denver. Susi, Leslie and Jordan headed home from there, while Amy and Jud came back for yet another meal supplied by friends. Lasagne.

That was the hardest time for me - when the kids had to say goodbye to their Uncle Bold. Amy lived with their family when she was just out of college and worked at Beano's on the mountain. So she's kinda like their pretend daughter. And Jud has bonded with Bolder over sports - the guy wears ISU garb in our honor. So tears were shed when they left to head back to Denver. This is SO hard.

The next day Cindy, Bets and I went for pedicures. Paul hung out with Bolder at the house. We took care of some necessary business - tough stuff, but glad we were there for support. Then we stopped by Colby's work to say goodbye. By then Paul had driven Boldie to another pub to see his peeps. E-town, his regular hangout, was closed for cleaning. Paul said people were hugging him, and greeting him - he's so well-liked and obviously the news has gotten around. He was exhausted by the time he got home though. So that night - when it was time for us to leave, oddly it wasn't all that emotional. It was like we were all too spent at that point.

Bolder's brother Bret has been there since Thursday. It's a good thing because his health has diminished very quickly. He was able to go to E-town with his brother Thursday night - and it was packed and they toasted him. But that night was bad - he needed help changing clothes and showering. Since then he has needed oxygen and they brought in a hospital bed because he can't make it up the stairs to their room. Cindy says his breathing has grown very raspy. Bret had to leave today to go back to Massachusetts, so I hope the hospice nurses give her enough support with his care. I'm so very proud of my sister Cindy. She's been so strong through this, and I can't say enough about how much I admire her.

Cancer is ugly stuff. I hope and pray Bolder is not in pain. Though I know that mentally he was suffering when we were there - I cried with him as he lamented this illness stealing his life. The frustration that he wasn't able to do what he wanted. Cindy says he's so sad that he won't be around to watch his son get married and have children. That makes me tear up to think about. We will have to be sure to tell the little Colbinis about their grandpa - the legend of Bolder! Thank God for family.

I grew up in Creston

I was born and raised in Atlantic, Iowa - but I grew up in Creston. I've lived in Creston longer than anywhere else in my life. Paul and I moved here in 1986 thinking it was a stop on our way to someplace else, and we stuck a lil longer than we planned! And in the meantime...I grew up!

Amy was a babe in arms when we arrived all rosy cheeked to the southwest Iowa town of 8,600 people. It's no Atlantic! Don't get me wrong - I love my hometown. It's attractive, and there are a lot of nice people there. Chestnut Street the main street downtown, which still seems viable compared to many Iowa towns. Yep, Atlantic is nice, but it can be a little um, snobby. (My view after attending there as the "other" team as our children played for the CHS Panthers).

Creston is a blue collar town, with several factories dotting the landscape. Bunn-O-Matic - the coffeemakers, are made here, along with Gummi-Bears, a fruity smelling place! Plus some other stuff you probably wouldn't recognize. Like Vanmark - they make giant peelers for companies like McDonalds. And Fansteel, a foundry for helicopter parts among other things. Some local guys have also built up a good sized business grinding lenses here too. All those businesses have one thing in common - they need workers. The unemployment rate in town is around 5%.

It's not really a pretty town. You tend to forget that unless someone is coming to visit and you look at the place through a visitor's eyes...then you see the salvage yards on each edge of town. And the rundown homes people have neglected. Downtown isn't winning any prizes either - there's no main street to brag about. The refurbished Iowana and former FNB Building - now Upper Crust have perked things up though! The Depot was once where my office was - I'll always cherish hearing Bingo called downstairs whilst trying to put together a recycling education program. There are some nice parts of town too! The college and hospital are looking good once again after the tornado.

The Depot

So as you can tell - wasn't been the looks of the place that kept us in Creston. It's the people! Right from the start - they were darn friendly! They accepted young Paul Goldsmith as their District Conservationist in 1986 when Bob Loudon introduced him around. And once I was invited to join Zeta Iota Chapter of Beta Sigma Phi Sorority, I was set. We were "somebody" - we had friends! Folks at my job at First National Bank were nice too. Even today, we are friends with people we met all those years ago. When we were babies. We've grown up together - they know all my crap. Warts and all.

So that's what I mean. We grew up in Creston. When we moved to town - neither of us had experienced much strife in our lives. Our parents were living. Though I wasn't finding the job of my dreams, I was happy parenting and working. We had great daycare providers who helped us raise our children.

Through the years - we lost a child. The town stepped up to help. Our parents passed away. Paul's sister Connie, and two Brother-In-Laws died. Happy things happened too. Jud was born. The kids grew up and participated in activities. Relatives married, babies were born. Amy and Jud graduated from high school and college. We celebrated joys and sorrows with our friends. Somewhere along the way I grew up (I know, sometimes I pretend I'm still 22).

When I started working in Des Moines, I suppose I knew it might someday come to this - moving to the Big City. Now it's a reality and I'm happy and sad. Driving around town has it's been hitting me. Adams Street with all the fall leaves. Soon I won't live here anymore!

I HATE goodbyes. So just know I will never say goodbye to Creston and my friends here. Only "until later". You'll see me. We have friends in town. We know where they live!

If you read this before Saturday November 10th and live near Creston - come to the big party to celebrate at The Lobby. 8 PM. There will be a DJ. Put on your dancin' shoes!

Volcanic Cancer

Bolder and Cindo

It's taking our beloved Bolder down. Cindy and Bolder saw the chemo specialist yesterday. He only had bad news for them. For whatever reason, cancer is spreading like lava through Boldie's body. Fucking Volcanic Cancer. The doc said he could try some trial treatment and spend his time in the hospital being a pin-cushion - with no guarantees. Or he could go home and wait. What would you choose.

They did give him a hormone shot yesterday, and some type of new pills. He's not in terrible pain at this point - just is experiencing awful itching. Cindy says he looks like he's been beaten with a chain - likely because his bone marrow isn't functioning properly. He doesn't have much of an appetite, but I was glad to hear he still went to Etown - his favorite bar with Colby recently.

I talked to Cindo today. It was good to speak to her in person - and not just get my info from texts like I did yesterday during lunch. Texting while I sat outside Jimmy Johns and tried to keep a stiff upper lip. I chewed food that tasted like cardboard, reading words that couldn't possibly be true. Bolder is going to die soon.

The news was so surreal. How can it be possible? The doctor says Bold may only have a couple weeks to live. I'm glad their son Colby lives in the Vail Valley. That he lives close is such good support for his parents. When they left the Doctor's, despite wanting to dissolve in a puddle, they needed to do things like talk about a funeral and call hospice. It just sucks so bad!  

We all want to be with them, but don't want to overwhelm and tire them out. Paul and I are driving out there Sunday. Susi will head over from Grand Junction. Betsy is flying in. Amy will come and Jud is considering coming too. Our family (my sisters and Paul) loves Boldie like a brother - he's a tenderhearted soul who wears his heart on his sleeve. He loved our parents. He's cried with us when we're sad and is happy when he knows we are happy. He cheers for the Cyclones because we do! (He wears an ISU cap and crewneck sweat shirt in our honor).

We'll be together to hug Bolder, Cindy and Colby. We'll cry and we'll laugh. I'll be able to tell Bold how much I appreciate him - and how well he's loved my sis. Even though we've called them "the Bickersons". Yep - they're one of those couples - crabbing at each other about dumb things. It's the patter of their marriage. Ying/Yang. He comes in the house and yells, "Cindo!" at the top of his lungs and watches ESPN on mach 10 sound level. That irritates Cindy. Man how she'll miss it.

For now, I'm glad we're heading to see them. Families should be together at a time like this. Please keep the circle of your prayers surrounding us. Thank you!

Another week past...

The countdown is on. Two more weeks until the movers are here. We'll be putting the "stuff" of our lives into a big truck. That's weird.

Hope he's not a back seat driver!

At this moment 2 deer heads are in my car to take to my former roomie Joan's place (shhh - she doesn't know she'll have a couple little friends staring at her for a while yet). The movers wanted $1,000 each to move them - crating and uncrating. No thanks! There are 2 more in the basement awaiting transport later. Paul parted with one - it's at the Holy Spirit ReRun Shop if you have a burning desire for a deer head.

This week Paul is pheasant hunting in South Dakota with college buddies, Mike Huston and Tom Sullivan. He's done this hunt the past few years and he always has a great time hanging with his buddies, and they get a few birds too. I plan to get together with Joan while he's gone - we need to catch up!

Great ISU game day yesterday with a victory over Baylor! McFees rode up with us and we drove by our new home on the way to the game. Bobbie and Jeff said they think they can find their way back - we'll have a room for them on Cody Drive! This week we purchased the dining table, a love seat and some art from the sellers. On a similar note, we sold our table/chairs and some other stuff to our home buyers. That worked out great! Our realtors have been swell on this regard. Shout out to Roger Saxton and Marg Hull.

Check out radiant heater - ahhhh

Paul chats with Jud's buddy Mitch

 

It was a chilly day, but Don's niece brought a radiant heater. It was great! It was soup day - 4 kinds of soups were perfect! Plus pumpkin and apple bars - and bevvies of your choice. Jud wasn't there (he and Kara were at her cousin's wedding in Tampa) but his buddies showed up in force and we still love them - and they helped us eat soup! Donnie's college roomie Jim and wife Patty were there - they just moved to Denver from St. Louis, because their 2 children live there. Paul and I attended the Spirit Walk to High 5 the players entering the stadium for the game.

The team runs to the students and sings the fight song

And then our beloved Cyclones came through with a glorious Homecoming victory. It was college football at its finest. The 54K crowd was lovin' it! We did The Wave 3 ways - regular, slow and on crack (really fast). It was really fun. The alumni band played with the Iowa State University VARSITY (Not the JV dammit) Marching Band played. The sound system played all the good tunes that old ladies like to dance to. Diana and I stood on one leg to help the defense stop Baylor on third down situations. (We do what we can).

CPR - on left

After the game we had passes (because McKim's son Ryan is on the coaching staff) to go in the "Jake" building where the team locker room is. Former Cyclone great Seneca Wallace was there. Coach Rhoads came out. Everyone was joyful!

The drive home was late, but Jeff has imbibed enough liquor to entertain us most of the way. His head started bobbing about ten minutes from home. We are happy and blessed people!

Brother-In-Law Bolder Report: Bolder was not able to have his first full chemo due to low platelets. He did have a partial one. They'll try again soon. Please keep Bold and my sister Cindy and their son Colby in your prayers. They will need all our strength and good thoughts during this time.  

Plagiarism

I just watched a story on plagiarism on the Sunday Morning Show. I thought I better fess up that my whole blog is plagiarized. Yep. I am stealing this stuff from some other chick who has a wierd life and thoughts...so don't blame me. Except for the stealing part. haha

Aww...I'm just teasing. You can't make this stuff up. It's my life and welcome to it. Sometimes it's funny when I start telling someone what I'm up to and they already know - because they read my blog! I'm an open book. Blog.

That happened just last night at church when my friend Cheri told me she knew we'd sold our Creston home. Before I told her in person. It will be a good way for people to keep up on what the Goldsmiths are up to...if they continue to care once we move to the big city. Now if I can just figure out a way to keep up on their lives...

Prior to moving, Paul and I are cleansing - our home of stuff we no longer want or need. I texted Amy yesterday to see if she still wants the 2 boxes of stuffed animals we had stored downstairs. She texted back, "Well I just saw Toy Story 3 so it's an even more sensitive subject than usual!" I'm sure she was half-serious. The kid loved her stuffed toys. In that movie, the little boy donates his toys to a daycare where they're doomed to the baby room and they get drooled on day after day...I split the difference and picked out a few faves and put the rest in the "give away" box.

Then it was time to go through books. Many memories there - the beloved ones I read the kids must stay. But there are others I have no emotional ties to. The back of my car is full of stuff destined for my buddy Deb to take to the staging area for the Planned Parenthood booksale. They accept videos puzzles and games too - so they're getting all our old VHS tapes. (I took some to Creston's Friends of the Library Booksale too) Disney to Adventures in Babysitting. There are many memories with the kids there too. I also bagged up all my leftover feminine hygiene products - pads/tampons to give to Deb for use at our local Planned Parenthood. Those products are expensive - no use tossing them out!

I'm keeping the Playmobiles, the Duplos and Legos and other toys that will be fun for little ones who come visit our home someday. Amy's old dolls will be there too - the American Girls and the Cabbage Patch - all well played with, complete with the little hair care kit she made. Jud's "guys" superhero plastic things and some metal vehicles will stay too. He saved the "important" to him stuff - electronic games. How sentimental!