tiptoeing in my flipflops

Do you ever have that feeling that things are just going so well that, ummm something is bound to go wrong? Does that make me a pessimist, a glass half empty gal? I don't want to feel like this. I want to just ride the wave, not looking ahead, borrowing trouble. Dumb Leslie - ride the happy wave.

Things to consider:

My life isn't perfect.

• I'm not filthy rich, allowing financial security for me and my family for forever. 
• I'm aging and have issues that accompany that. 
• Work is stressful. I know - it's recycling, not rocket science or life and death heart surgery. Still, I put my heart and soul into it - which leads to some sleepless nights and angst.
• I haven't taken time to make new friends in DSM.
• Our children have found their mates, but still have many life steps to maneuver. How will they ever do it? There is war, infection and other bad stuff in our world (reference: state of the world/politics/ugh).

But things are pretty great right now.

• Even though we're not rich, we have plenty and we have each other.
• Paul and I are both pretty darn healthy and can do the things we want to.
• I love my work, despite and maybe because of the stress.
• Our friends and families are such an important part of my joy.
• It's so cool that Amy and Jud are now on life's journey with partners that we love (bonus!). Part of our job as parents was to prepare them to deal with life's roller coaster. We're not responsible to hold their hands through all of the above referenced things, even though I won't stop fretting about it...

Life is a journey - full of bends, twists, ups and downs. Right now, on the roller coaster of life, I'd say I'm on that wonderful ride - not a heart-stopping plummet, but enjoyable all the same without the terror/fun.

I'm so very grateful and aware.

Just like my mother before me, I've dropped out of attending church. I don't wish to get into it here - #toocomplicated.

I am a spiritual person and believe in a higher power. I am fascinated by how American Indians treat spirituality. It's amazing that at age 58 I'm still searching for answers, but I'll never stop. When I was young I thought people my age were grownups and had all the answers. Now I know this isn't true!

In the meantime, I'll keep blogging, boring you with the details of my life - as I tiptoe along. Hope I don't trip in my flipflops.

fam pic at Jud's wedding

We attended the DSM Art Festival Friday night. It's one of the best Art Festivals in the country according to the artist we purchased a photo from. Whilst there we ran into Sandy Travis (Atlantic) and John and Lois Rose (Creston). It was hot and fun - we walked and sipped a craft beer.

art? or landfill fodder

Nitefall on the River after visit to the Art Festival (and a martini)

Later that night we met a nice family listening to a few songs (see the band Michael Franti and Spearhead) playing at Nitefall on the River. There was another band playing at the Brenton Plaza. Lots of entertainment in DSM that night!

The family we met has two young kids and the 4 year old son was chasing bubbles as we talked. The dad explained his work installing electric into Habitat for Humanity homes in the city - some 20 homes last year. Very interesting. I love this town! #iowanice

Typhoid Mary

I've been sick. Yeah. The urpy, can't decide which end of you needs to use the pot more kind. It wasn't pretty. Fortunately that part of the illness didn't last long. Then came the stomach pain, aches and pains. Next - a migraine of course.

I missed the last Cyclone game of the season - most importantly a chance to hang with my cloney friends on another gorgeous fall day. I was so bummed. The game was a good one - with my pesky Clones hanging in there until the very end. Damn those last three minutes (and not being able to stop the Cowboys on third and long). But I was sick enough to know I was smart not to be in Ames. Port-O-Potty and diarrhea? I don't think so. Those things are bad enough as it is...even when you get serenaded by the marching band when you exit.

I though I'd turn the corner on Sunday - but I couldn't rustle up any kind of appetite and then the migraine just wouldn't leave - so I spent much of that day in bed. What a wasted day. I was sure I'd be ready to go to work Monday - got up and was ready to head out the door when I realized that my knees were shaky. I decided it was a bad idea to head downtown on no fuel - and my stomach was still not up to par. I worked remotely part of the day.

Paul woke up sick this morning. Just call me Typhoid Mary. Luckily he just has the body aches, upset tummy - no projectile vomiting or anything dramatic.

At work I noticed that I tried to stay away from others - afraid I'd germinate (yes I do know I am not using this word right) them. Well you know what I mean. I have one of my busiest weeks of the year right now. Those consultants I worked with today didn't rush up and hug me. I don't blame them!

There's nothing like feeling better after an illness. It makes me think about all those people who are going through illness or are battling cancer like a couple friends I know. I can't wait until you have this feeling my friends. I'm thinking of you.

Too Old to Muzzle

Odie's Mother's Day gift to me was to get her nails trimmed. Of course she didn't offer that up. I kinda forced her into it. PetSmart discovered her rabies vaccine was expired that morning.

Odie last year after surgery to remove a tumor on her chest

"I can't muzzle her. She's too old," the doggie tech told me. As I drove home with Odie (she thought she was getting out of the nail trim...wrong) to get the form, I thought about it. Odie is 10 - so what's that in dog years? How old am I?

I'm too old to muzzle too. Or as my pal Deb and I have stated - our mufflers have rusted off.

I have always been a smart ass - in the right company. But I was quiet in many settings and sometimes failed to speak up to those in positions superior to mine. Yes...I bit my tongue! Maturity has given me the confidence to speak my mind in all situations today. Yay - a reason to be glad to be a grown up.

And now this. Muzzle free. Okay - I'm likely not there yet. But someday - when I'm retired...a few years down the road - I'll let my hair go gray and I'll let fly whatever is on my mind.

 

Non Goiter Graves

Les
 

The good news...what I have is curable with treatment. And I don't have a goiter. Or any kind of growth according to Dr. Doelle, the doc I saw Monday at the University of Iowa Specialty Clinic. He reminded me a little bit of Les Nessman, the nerdy guy on the retro sitcom WKRP in Cincinnati. But he inspired much more confidence.



Dr. Doelle

I liked Dr. Doelle. He spent quite a bit of time with Paul and me, answering all our questions. I'm afraid I got a bit emotional - it's been a long few months a feeling kinda crappy ya'll. Describing my symptoms made me sad. Dr. Doelle listened carefully. I could see his wheels spinning as he considered just what the hell might be wrong with me. He wanted to get another blood test before making his final diagnosis. But it was looking like Graves' disease.

That's a scary word - disease. So when Dr. Doelle called me today after I got home from work to confirm the diagnosis, he was sure to reassure me by saying, "this is curable with treatment." First with a prescription - Methimazole. Long term I'll likely need to decide the best way to kill my thyroid - with radioactive pill or with surgery. Then I'll replace my thyroid with meds.

I'm looking forward to feeling better! I'm sharing this so that if any of my relatives or others have symptoms...they will not waste many months feeling crazy and lost as I did. Dr. Doelle said this is hereditary in the sense that it was probably in my body...and then something set it off. Like many things - they don't know why. My symptoms are:

• frequent bowel movements - which had been coming on for a while. But it's gotten ridiculous. I had even tried to Google that...but came up with nothing. I didn't try to get medical help until I got painful cramps to go with them.
• pounding heart - mine has been masked since I take the Beta Blocker Atenolol for migraine prevention. I can hear it in my ears. It now still beats funky sometimes.
• poor heart tolerance - I thought that was just menopause
• swelling legs - that has been infrequent, but scary when it happened
• anxiety - I was sure I had bowel cancer, and spent many hours worrying about that. I've always been a fretter, but not to that extent
• sleep problesm - not sure about that. I slept pretty well until this should froze...
• Muscle cramps - is that what caused my abdominal problems? I've had feet cramps that are very painful.
• There are other Graves' symptoms that I've not had, thank goodness 

After my appointment in Iowa City, Paul and I walked around Kinnick Stadium. They grow corn there by the stadium. It's actually right by the hospital. I remember attending a few games there - some long ago, when I was actually a Hawkeye fan!

Here I am making a C for Cyclone - just in case you didn't know...





Baking cookies

I baked my Christmas Cookies on Sunday. No not really. I planned on it. Then I realized I was actually dreading baking. Stressing in fact. And why? Nobody was awaiting cookies baked by little 'ol me. It was all on me - pressure I was putting on myself. So I took it off.

I went to Trader Joe's and bought my favorite cookies there. I was happy. I don't care what people think. I did make Mexican dip in the crock pot for Food Day at work Monday. I fried hamburger and everything. Impressive, I know!

Bill Blum, my co-worker made chocolate salad. He took over that job from our former boss, Al, who was single. Chocolate salad involves bringing a bowl and pouring in various types of chocolate - like little caramels and Kit Kats and M&Ms, chocolate covered raisins. There are all sorts of possibilities! 

Later yesterday I noticed my next door (cubicle) neighbor Amy Wilkin scored a chocolate mouse. Someone gave it to her. It was darling. A chocolate covered cherry with chocolate kiss and almond sliver ears on top of a cookie. I posted a picture of this on Facebook and suggested that Jud's girl Kara might like to make these...she likes to do food art. The next thing I knew there was a whole string of messages from my nieces, Leslie and Jordan talking about how my daughter Amy wouldn't eat such a thing because it has a face...

It's true. Amy has lived by that rule for quite some time. Jordan mentioned that Amy will eat hamburgers - that are made from something that really did have a face at one time. PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals). Sorry vegetarian friends. Couldn't resist. Amy finally stood up for herself on Facebook - asking, "Did no one else see Shrek? "Not the gumdrop buttons" scarred me for life!" Ah how I loved the Gingerbread Man! (Not enough to stop eating things with faces).

My mother baked every Christmas. She made two kinds of cut out cookies. traditional sugar and a thin spice cookie that are truly my favorite. The spice cookie recipe is a family one - but I seem to be the only one in our family that really likes them. Amy and Jud weren't ever wild about them and Paul isn't a cookie guy. So there's just me. Not worth cutting out cookies for. I'll eat Trader Joe's almond cookies instead.

Mom used to bake the cookies when we weren't around. At least I don't remember that part. She did let us help frost. We would sit at the kitchen table with table knives and frost away. That frosting was some rich stuff! We'd decorate with sprinkles, red hots and those little silver things that look like beebees.

Then mom would layer the cookies into Lorraine Lingerie boxes with wax paper in between layers. She'd put the cookies into the upright deep freeze in the laundry room. Mom got pretty cranky when she found that some of the layers were gone by the time she got the cookie box out. When playing downstairs we'd sneak into the laundry room and snitch cookies!

I do have good memories of baking cookies with Amy and Jud. And some hormonal memories - one needs patience to roll out cookie dough. I didn't always have it. Does it scar children for life to see dough thrown up against the kitchen wall? Oops. I hope my little lumps of dough children turn out okay anyway...they're frosted pretty well!

Dollys are Important

And blankies too! When Amy was a baby, she received several lovely stuffed toys and blankets as gifts. I'm embarrassed to say I don't remember where the stuffed pink bear came from. It was bigger than the newborn she was when she received it.

We called him Pookie - I think the name came from the Garfield cartoon. (I don't know why it was a him, since it's pink...) Hmm, Garfield is where our dog's name came from too (Odie). I don't really even like Garfield that much, but I must have some kind of fetish. Anyway - out of all Amy's stuffed toys, she bonded with Pookie. That's often what kids do - they imprint on something and it becomes their crutch. It can be a blanket - I heard of a kid who used his blanket so hard it ended up in shreds. So his mom trimmed it to the size of a Kleenex. Still he fell asleep with it each night - rubbing it on his face. Ahhh.

The Bullock grandkids like their stuffed toys. Amy had Pookie - thank goodness our babysitter was only 3 blocks from our house. Sometimes in the rush to get out the door in the morning, we'd get to Carol's house and Amy would say, "where's Pookie?" in that panicked voice. Rather than face the wrath of a PO's 2 year old, I'd run and get him. We dragged him all the way to Florida on the plane more than once...he's big enough that he practically needed his own seat!

Pookie is dingy from loving and being hauled around - I wonder if he can be dry cleaned?

Thankfully, Jud bonded with a smaller bunny we named GusGus. I think that name came from the Cinderella Disney movie. I'd include a photo of said bunny, but Jud has GusGus in St. Joe where he lives. Pookie and GusGus were the stars of many a play and they benefitted from lots of meals cooked in our Fisher Price kitchen.

Colby Lefebvre had Hall Bear - given to him by Cindo's friend Mary Hall. (aptly named - no?). And who could forget Jordan Alvillar with her cat - Kiki. I think the story goes something like this - Susi, Leslie and Jordan went to Florida to visit Mom and Dad. Jordan left Kiki at their condo - our beloved nirvana where Susi, Cindy and I still go each April - though we don't stay in our parents' unit.

When the Alvillars got to the airport, Jordan realized her beloved kitty was MIA. She through a mother of a temper tantrum, screeching KEE KEE throughout the airport. I'm not sure how Susi ever got that little bundle of muscle on the plane...

Betsy's kids had special animals too - though I wasn't around them enough to know their names (the stuffed toys, not the kids - even though there are 5 of 'em I do know them all...).

A few horses were laying down on the job...

Paul and I checked out the new Farm/Fleet in Ankeny Saturday. I saw these toy horses there - reminding me of the porcelain ones we used to received for gifts. We'd put yarn halters on them - then use our erasers as riders. WHAT you say?

They were little rubber animals - you could stick them on your pencils at school. Or use them to ride your horses. We'd name the horses and pretend lots of scenarios - usually about Bar-L Ranch, the horse camp we attended in Guthrie Center. Man, the things we did to entertain ourselves before video games...

Gone Baby Gone

She's gone again - but this time she's stayin' stateside. Amy left this afternoon when we got home from work. She's heading southwest to Crestonia to stay with the Wilsons for a night. That should be interesting! She don't know nothing 'bout no babies! And they have a new one.

My baby - when her hair was fiery red, and my original baby - Bucko

I'm afraid I was the same way. My sister Susi and Vicki Behr with daughters Leslie and Kelli were models for me before I had my own kids! I did very little babysitting as a child. Pity the poor fool that hired me! I remember staying at the Mormans (across the back yards) a couple times. I must have been a desperate last resort. The Mormans - Paul and ?, had older kids. I remember their son  - Paul Junior? He was out of the home I think when his parent decided to adopt a couple younger kids - Eric and Julie, who must have been 3 and 4 or so when I stayed with them. I was probably 12. I think I mostly wanted to play with their older brothers cool model train set! I never stayed with a baby.

I don't think I ever held a baby on purpose (somebody probably jammed one into my arms once or twice through the years) until really I started to pay attention to tiny humans - when Paul and I thought about having one. I held my adorable little niece Leslie when we went to Cindy and Bolder's wedding in Vail in August of 1984 - Les had been born a mere 4 weeks prior.

Kelli, another cutie, was born the next February, and we got to be around her a lot. Behrs still lived in Ames then, and the old college gang gathered frequently. I was pregnant by that time so I absorbed everything Behrs did with the tiny tot. I remember taking her to North Grand Mall with her little fold out stroller - Vic and I had a heck of a time folding the thing out properly. Novices! As much time as I spent around other babies - nothing is quite like having one's own. And nothing is as rewarding as those first few smiles!



Harper Wilson - smiling at her daddy

Amy will be amazed at the amount of "stuff" infants come with! I hope she and Stormy get some time together to just hang out too - maybe Harper will nap. I must admit, I still can't quite get my mind around Stormy as a mommy! I bet people thought the very same thing about me!

After she stays with Stormy, Kyle and Harper for a night, Amy is off to see my second baby, Jud and girlfriend Kara in Kansas City. Kara has a nice apartment near Zona Rosa. I think Jud is excited to entertain his sis for an evening. They will have fun - KC is a great city. Amy will take off Friday morning to head for Denver where a new adventure awaits - apartment and job-hunting. If you know anyone who needs a graphic designer - let us know! I hear apartments are hard to find too.

We'll miss her, but treasure the time we had together!  Last night we lucked out and hit half price cheesecake at the Factory! They introduced S'mores cheesecake, which A and P ordered. I stuck with my fave, Tiramasu.

Amy update, Jud's coming and Yankee Doodle Pops

We heard from our darlin' girl a couple times this week. She was joined in Panama on Sunday June 30th by college roomie Rachelle, who will travel with her for 10 days.

Rachelle is a teacher in Ames. She had not traveled outside the United States before - so this is quite the adventure for her! Amy met Rachelle in the airport so she didn't have to maneuver around there all by herself. The girls knocked around Panama City for a couple days, staying in the Spanish In the City Hostel for $12.50 per night. Amy reported Panama City was "awesome".

Next they are on to Boquete, Panama - which I see is listed as a retirement town for Americans and Canadians. They went on a coffee plantation tour, which Amy loved. She purchased a burlap sack.

Amy so reminds of my mom. She is so fascinated with travel and seeing the sites of foreign lands. She enjoys researching where she is going on each leg of this trip and what she will see. As Amy put together the trip, she built a spreadsheet on Google Docs showing where she'll be each day, with color codes for type of transportation she'll use, and columns for town, country, accommodations and cost. (called "where I rest my noggin") Yes, perhaps a little OCD going on...in a good way.

They are off to Costa Rica today, the 4th. They are still doing some planning for the activities there. Some of the locals suggest things to do and Rachelle took her iPad, which helps for booking when they are near WiFi. Paul and I still count down the days until Amy comes back on to our place on the 22nd. She has the price of that listed as FREE. (She's sadly mistaken - we will make her pay in hugs).

Judson David will be appearing at our doorstep this Saturday all by his lonesome. GF Kara is traveling for work. Though we saw him at Kelli Behr's wedding in early June, it seems we haven't really talked with him for a while. So this will be a treat! Odie will be happy to see her bro too.

Last night Paul and I attended Yankee Doodle Pops in Governors Plaza right by my office. Since 2009 I have watched the setup for this event, but have headed back to Creston for Independence Day where we hosted friends to watch fireworks off our driveway. Except Conover's trees grew and we began wandering over to their driveway the past few years...

It's a new era and we're trying new things! We headed back downtown after a stop at home for the pooch. We parked on the west side of the river just south of Wells Fargo Arena for quick getaway later and had a sandwich at the Standard, which was very quiet - though cars were streaming by on their way to the Iowa Cubs game.

Next we stopped at Lime for a cocktail and met some people from Norwalk who know Creston natives Tracy and Karla Purdum. Our new friends' daughter must have played volleyball against Amy, we decided. We talked concerts with our friends, and the bartender who is also a big Fleetwood Mac fan. Well drinks were $1, so the vodka cranberry tasted specially good.  Then we walked the couple blocks east to find a spot for our chairs for the show.

It was already packed - I saw people setting up their chairs and blankets before I left work at 4 p.m. So our 7:30 p.m. arrival was late...we located near the Wallace Building and couldn't really see a thing. The sound system was good though.

We noticed this youngster rolling down the hill - reminding us of the time little Jordan Alvillar did that at Mom and Dad's in Atlantic. She ended up with chigger bites in places where the sun don't shine. That resulted in me sending a text photo to all parties with some hilarious comebacks from my fam - including new Momma Leslie, who sent a pic back of baby James. Aww.

The evening featured the Des Moines Symphony playing many traditional patriotic tunes such as - the Star Spangled Banner, When the Saints Go Marching In, and we got a real treat when nationally known Iowa grown baritone Simon Estes sang God Bless America. The guy is getting up there - he graduated from the U of I in 1957, but he still has the pipes!

I can't resist a pic of that reflection...

The DM Symphony

 

As the sun slowly went down on the night, they broke out the Sousa songs (Dad would have loved it) - and the booming fireworks. Since the trees were in the way, Paul packed up the chairs and we began walking toward our car.

That's Paul in the visor on the right

We walked across the footbridge by Wells Fargo

We are so fortunate to be Americans - to be able to calmly take in a beautiful evening like Paul and I did last night. God Bless America!

Welcome James Calvin

pre-baby birth

My niece Leslie had a baby yesterday - James Calvin Lopez, 6 lbs 11oz, 21 inches. This carries the Bullock genes into one more generation. I'm happy, and think that Mom and Dad - somewhere, somehow are happy too.

James - day 1. Isn't he adorable!?!

I think back about seeing Leslie for the first time - she was just a few weeks old when Cindo and Bolder got married August 18, 1984. She was so tiny!

And now she and husband Jordan have their own tiny little guy. Can't wait to meet him in person.

Baby Shower, AWB and Waffles and Chicken

Saturday was the baby shower for Leslie Lopez and bambino. He's due July 17th - her birthday and wedding anniversary. She looks so pretty - all tummy! The party was at the Denver Tea Room.

Amy (our talented graphic designer daughter) designed the invitations and name cards at the tables - complete with little phrases about each person. Jordan (who should be an event planner) arranged the decorations and games. Lots of games. The food was delish! Tea, of course, and little sandwiches and scones - warm, just from the oven. There were fancy cupcakes for dessert too. Susi was in charge of paying for the above...

Cindy, Amy Brownlee, Aunt Marty

Susi, and her friends Debbie and Sher

 

Jordan, Amy, Kate Brownlee, and preggers Leslie

Yummy Food

Leslie received lots of nice gifts. Or should should I say, "Herman" did - as Cindo called the babe.

Herman gets a basket from Aunt Betso, who couldn't be with us
 

It was a great party. We're looking forward to meeting the little guy in a few weeks! Later, after a rest (it's hard eating and drinking) we walked walked around downtown Denver. They were having a rock event and an art event - and the weather was fabulous.

 

 

We walked by one stage - and they were singing, "Pick Up the Pieces". It was the original Average White Band. Okay - most of 'em. They sounded great. We had a band that sounded kinda like AWB for our senior prom - every song sounded like "Cut the Cake".

 

That's AWB behind Cindy and me

We ended up at a nearby bowling alley - they had a bloody mary bar and Paul could watch the baseball game with 7 women. Later Amy, Paul and I walked to a local bookstore, Tattered Cover. It was very cool - way nicer than a Barnes and Noble.

 

We ended the day at a funky restaurant that Cindo selected called Euclid Hall - named after the mathematician. Their menu is interesting - after appetizers of pickles and sausage, Amy had pig's ears - fried. Paul had chicken and waffles. The chicken was ground and covered with even more coarsely ground chicken. Cindy had a cauliflower salad. I had a mini fish sannie.

IN front of Euclid Hall

It was a busy day - I love my family. I slept like a rock!













Free Weekend

Thanks to all the veterans who have served our country. My family enjoyed a beautiful weekend because of your sacrifices.

We left Des Moines Thursday afternoon and pulled in to the Cabela's store in Kearney, NE around 6 p.m. We used to think that place was great, but now the other newer stores put it to shame. Paul got broadheads. No - they are nothing to do with women...they are razor sharp points for his arrows.

We took off early the next day and were able to have lunch with Amy at our usual spot - Udi's. Amy eats gluten free when she can, and they have a great gluten free menu. They have great sandwiches and can even get their granola at HyVee here.

We checked into the Marriott Residence Inn downtown after shopping at REI - the sporting goods superstore. We got socks. It is a cool place, and people there are so active. We went to Amy's temp new digs. Oh did I tell you she moved? Amy quit her job. She's done Friday. She will leave early next week to drive through North Dakota on her way to Minnesota to be a bridesmaid in her good friend Kelli Behr's wedding in Northfield. Of course we'll be there, along with Jud and Kara. The Behrs are like cousins to our kids - since there mom Vicki is my college roomie.

Then Amy will come to Des Moines for a few days before she leaves for her "walk-a-bout". Yeah, I know she's not an aborigine. But that's how I'm thinking about her trip to South America, with stops in Peru and Ecuador by herself. She is heading to central America too and will travel with her friend Rachelle. Megan may join her too. Am I nervous about the trip? Hell yes! But she's got to be Amy and this is what Amy does.

Back to Friday. By then, Cindy had arrived. There was a bit of confusion about our rooms - the Marriott was having a hard time figuring out the Bullock girls! But we straightened them out. Kinda. Today Susi got a survey that called her Cindy Alvillar. Susi brought along her friend Debbie for the next day's shower. The six of us had a reservation at Oceanaire that night. It was a cool place with an attentive waiter. Susi even got us baked alaska for dessert!

The walk back was gorgeous. Denver has great architecture. Cindy, Paul and I took a walk the next morning so I continued my photo op. The baby shower, hosted by Amy, Susi and niece Jordan for niece Leslie was later that morning.

check out the trees on the roof

 

We walked by Oceanaire - love Paul and Cindy's reflections

You can't tell but that is purple lettering and relief on this building - the green car is wearing a boot

 

 

 



Full of Thanks

Thank you to all the Veterans and actively serving troops. We can never thank you and your families enough for your service to our country.

Next - a shout out to my fabulous family. We are strong and loving. It never shows more than when one of us needs the support of the others - as when some 21 years ago, Baby Patrick was born and too soon, died. And now when our beloved Boldie is spending his last few days on earth.

Last Sunday, Paul and I drove to Colorado - stopping at Amy's in Denver when we got there. It was my birthday! The big double nickle. I recall when my dad turned 55 - he said he was turning the speed limit. Yay. Sister Betsy and Jud were each due at the airport about 4:30 p.m. so we picked them up and drove up in 2 cars - the gals in Amy's Honda Fit and Jud and Paul talking sports in our car. (I suggested they talk about their feelings and emotions, but I don't think that happened...)

When we got to Lefebvre's home in Edwards, Colorado - a mountain village just past Vail at 7:30ish. The Alvillar girls were already there - my sis Susan and her daughters. Bolder - prognosis BAD, was settled into his chair, tucked in with a blanket. Son Colby was there too. Friends had delivered fab food. My nieces, Leslie and Jordan - the lil cuties - had gotten me party hats and a badge for my birthday. The hats said something naughty - Susi was a bit embarrassed that her daughters had purchased them, until I reminded her I am a former landfill lady and have a bit of a potty mouth...The girls also got mustaches for all of us - in honor of their Uncle Boldie, who sports a great 'stache.

My kids (I'm guessing Amy) put me through a "follow the clues" to my birthday gift - tickets to Book of Mormon, when it comes to DSM. Can't wait to see it! My sissies purchased a couple cakes. Cindo's neighbor offered rooms in her home for the kids to stay in. Paul and I and Susi and the girls had hotel rooms - we headed there pretty early as everyone was beat. Betsy - our resident nurse (though she's a retired RN to concentrate on her true love - selling Longaberger baskets) stayed in Lefebvre's spare room. Bolder's condition is worsening daily.

The next day we arrived back at their place in the a.m. to eat the quiches friend Eric Pottorff had baked ahead. Fab! Bets was able to attend a doctor's appointment with Cindo and Bold. It was as we feared - all blood counts were worsening. We were glad Bolder was able to go to the pub that night with us, before the kids headed back to Denver. Susi, Leslie and Jordan headed home from there, while Amy and Jud came back for yet another meal supplied by friends. Lasagne.

That was the hardest time for me - when the kids had to say goodbye to their Uncle Bold. Amy lived with their family when she was just out of college and worked at Beano's on the mountain. So she's kinda like their pretend daughter. And Jud has bonded with Bolder over sports - the guy wears ISU garb in our honor. So tears were shed when they left to head back to Denver. This is SO hard.

The next day Cindy, Bets and I went for pedicures. Paul hung out with Bolder at the house. We took care of some necessary business - tough stuff, but glad we were there for support. Then we stopped by Colby's work to say goodbye. By then Paul had driven Boldie to another pub to see his peeps. E-town, his regular hangout, was closed for cleaning. Paul said people were hugging him, and greeting him - he's so well-liked and obviously the news has gotten around. He was exhausted by the time he got home though. So that night - when it was time for us to leave, oddly it wasn't all that emotional. It was like we were all too spent at that point.

Bolder's brother Bret has been there since Thursday. It's a good thing because his health has diminished very quickly. He was able to go to E-town with his brother Thursday night - and it was packed and they toasted him. But that night was bad - he needed help changing clothes and showering. Since then he has needed oxygen and they brought in a hospital bed because he can't make it up the stairs to their room. Cindy says his breathing has grown very raspy. Bret had to leave today to go back to Massachusetts, so I hope the hospice nurses give her enough support with his care. I'm so very proud of my sister Cindy. She's been so strong through this, and I can't say enough about how much I admire her.

Cancer is ugly stuff. I hope and pray Bolder is not in pain. Though I know that mentally he was suffering when we were there - I cried with him as he lamented this illness stealing his life. The frustration that he wasn't able to do what he wanted. Cindy says he's so sad that he won't be around to watch his son get married and have children. That makes me tear up to think about. We will have to be sure to tell the little Colbinis about their grandpa - the legend of Bolder! Thank God for family.