The Next Stage of Life

The City of Creston lost a favorite son, my friend Linda lost her husband, the Landers children lost a father, and I (and lots of others) lost a friend. Michael (Mick) Landers passed away recently. He was the assistant fire chief in Creston, so his send off was magnificent. Mick died after a valiant battle against evil colon cancer. He was only 51.  

Paul and I attended the visitation where two firemen stood guard as he lay in state. It was comforting to see so many familiar faces at the funeral home. My friend Jeanne now works there - she'll be a great comfort to grieving families. She's such a warm wonderful person. 

Mick's family was lined up to greet people. They were doing pretty well, considering. I blubbered. Geez. At least I'm a good hugger. I really liked that guy. So did lots of others, judging by the line at the funeral home - which included several of our friends. We ended up catching supper with them. At times like that, it's very comforting to be surrounded by friends. 

I didn't really know Mick until somehow I talked him into working part-time for the Union County Landfill with me back in the early 2000's. He was trained to handle household hazardous waste and I needed a buddy to help me do that. And drive a truck with a trailer. We spent many hours together driving to Bedford, Mount Ayr, Atlantic and Audubon to collect drums and boxes of material. 

Those trips also involved hunting down local diners in search of pie! Of course, we spent time trading kid/parenting stories and many other topics along the way. I learned that he was a very honorable single dad, a hard worker, and an all around nice guy. Then he started dating my pal, Linda. Soon love was in the air! I was so happy for both of them when they married. 

Life is mysterious. I don't know what happens next. Mick was a man of faith and I know he is someplace good. After the funeral at the church, the Creston fire station did a ceremony that included the last call. It was heart-wrenching. RIP my friend. 

  

Full of Thanks

Thank you to all the Veterans and actively serving troops. We can never thank you and your families enough for your service to our country.

Next - a shout out to my fabulous family. We are strong and loving. It never shows more than when one of us needs the support of the others - as when some 21 years ago, Baby Patrick was born and too soon, died. And now when our beloved Boldie is spending his last few days on earth.

Last Sunday, Paul and I drove to Colorado - stopping at Amy's in Denver when we got there. It was my birthday! The big double nickle. I recall when my dad turned 55 - he said he was turning the speed limit. Yay. Sister Betsy and Jud were each due at the airport about 4:30 p.m. so we picked them up and drove up in 2 cars - the gals in Amy's Honda Fit and Jud and Paul talking sports in our car. (I suggested they talk about their feelings and emotions, but I don't think that happened...)

When we got to Lefebvre's home in Edwards, Colorado - a mountain village just past Vail at 7:30ish. The Alvillar girls were already there - my sis Susan and her daughters. Bolder - prognosis BAD, was settled into his chair, tucked in with a blanket. Son Colby was there too. Friends had delivered fab food. My nieces, Leslie and Jordan - the lil cuties - had gotten me party hats and a badge for my birthday. The hats said something naughty - Susi was a bit embarrassed that her daughters had purchased them, until I reminded her I am a former landfill lady and have a bit of a potty mouth...The girls also got mustaches for all of us - in honor of their Uncle Boldie, who sports a great 'stache.

My kids (I'm guessing Amy) put me through a "follow the clues" to my birthday gift - tickets to Book of Mormon, when it comes to DSM. Can't wait to see it! My sissies purchased a couple cakes. Cindo's neighbor offered rooms in her home for the kids to stay in. Paul and I and Susi and the girls had hotel rooms - we headed there pretty early as everyone was beat. Betsy - our resident nurse (though she's a retired RN to concentrate on her true love - selling Longaberger baskets) stayed in Lefebvre's spare room. Bolder's condition is worsening daily.

The next day we arrived back at their place in the a.m. to eat the quiches friend Eric Pottorff had baked ahead. Fab! Bets was able to attend a doctor's appointment with Cindo and Bold. It was as we feared - all blood counts were worsening. We were glad Bolder was able to go to the pub that night with us, before the kids headed back to Denver. Susi, Leslie and Jordan headed home from there, while Amy and Jud came back for yet another meal supplied by friends. Lasagne.

That was the hardest time for me - when the kids had to say goodbye to their Uncle Bold. Amy lived with their family when she was just out of college and worked at Beano's on the mountain. So she's kinda like their pretend daughter. And Jud has bonded with Bolder over sports - the guy wears ISU garb in our honor. So tears were shed when they left to head back to Denver. This is SO hard.

The next day Cindy, Bets and I went for pedicures. Paul hung out with Bolder at the house. We took care of some necessary business - tough stuff, but glad we were there for support. Then we stopped by Colby's work to say goodbye. By then Paul had driven Boldie to another pub to see his peeps. E-town, his regular hangout, was closed for cleaning. Paul said people were hugging him, and greeting him - he's so well-liked and obviously the news has gotten around. He was exhausted by the time he got home though. So that night - when it was time for us to leave, oddly it wasn't all that emotional. It was like we were all too spent at that point.

Bolder's brother Bret has been there since Thursday. It's a good thing because his health has diminished very quickly. He was able to go to E-town with his brother Thursday night - and it was packed and they toasted him. But that night was bad - he needed help changing clothes and showering. Since then he has needed oxygen and they brought in a hospital bed because he can't make it up the stairs to their room. Cindy says his breathing has grown very raspy. Bret had to leave today to go back to Massachusetts, so I hope the hospice nurses give her enough support with his care. I'm so very proud of my sister Cindy. She's been so strong through this, and I can't say enough about how much I admire her.

Cancer is ugly stuff. I hope and pray Bolder is not in pain. Though I know that mentally he was suffering when we were there - I cried with him as he lamented this illness stealing his life. The frustration that he wasn't able to do what he wanted. Cindy says he's so sad that he won't be around to watch his son get married and have children. That makes me tear up to think about. We will have to be sure to tell the little Colbinis about their grandpa - the legend of Bolder! Thank God for family.

Volcanic Cancer

Bolder and Cindo

It's taking our beloved Bolder down. Cindy and Bolder saw the chemo specialist yesterday. He only had bad news for them. For whatever reason, cancer is spreading like lava through Boldie's body. Fucking Volcanic Cancer. The doc said he could try some trial treatment and spend his time in the hospital being a pin-cushion - with no guarantees. Or he could go home and wait. What would you choose.

They did give him a hormone shot yesterday, and some type of new pills. He's not in terrible pain at this point - just is experiencing awful itching. Cindy says he looks like he's been beaten with a chain - likely because his bone marrow isn't functioning properly. He doesn't have much of an appetite, but I was glad to hear he still went to Etown - his favorite bar with Colby recently.

I talked to Cindo today. It was good to speak to her in person - and not just get my info from texts like I did yesterday during lunch. Texting while I sat outside Jimmy Johns and tried to keep a stiff upper lip. I chewed food that tasted like cardboard, reading words that couldn't possibly be true. Bolder is going to die soon.

The news was so surreal. How can it be possible? The doctor says Bold may only have a couple weeks to live. I'm glad their son Colby lives in the Vail Valley. That he lives close is such good support for his parents. When they left the Doctor's, despite wanting to dissolve in a puddle, they needed to do things like talk about a funeral and call hospice. It just sucks so bad!  

We all want to be with them, but don't want to overwhelm and tire them out. Paul and I are driving out there Sunday. Susi will head over from Grand Junction. Betsy is flying in. Amy will come and Jud is considering coming too. Our family (my sisters and Paul) loves Boldie like a brother - he's a tenderhearted soul who wears his heart on his sleeve. He loved our parents. He's cried with us when we're sad and is happy when he knows we are happy. He cheers for the Cyclones because we do! (He wears an ISU cap and crewneck sweat shirt in our honor).

We'll be together to hug Bolder, Cindy and Colby. We'll cry and we'll laugh. I'll be able to tell Bold how much I appreciate him - and how well he's loved my sis. Even though we've called them "the Bickersons". Yep - they're one of those couples - crabbing at each other about dumb things. It's the patter of their marriage. Ying/Yang. He comes in the house and yells, "Cindo!" at the top of his lungs and watches ESPN on mach 10 sound level. That irritates Cindy. Man how she'll miss it.

For now, I'm glad we're heading to see them. Families should be together at a time like this. Please keep the circle of your prayers surrounding us. Thank you!

The Big Why

Buddies - Bolder and Pablo

Bolder's cancer is back. He's my sis Cindy's husband (real name Brian) - age 59 and he battled aggressive prostate cancer last year through early this spring. It was rough - surgery, chemo, radiation. There were lots of ups and many downs. But in the end, his PSA, the test they do to see if the cancer is gone, came back good! We were happy.

The Lefebvres went big last summer - traveling to Vegas for their friends renewal of vows celebration. Elvis married Bonnie and Eric with Bolder and Cindo along side. Their son Colby was there too.

Then our great trip to Cannon Beach - we all had a fantastic time. Bold and Cindo got the Master Suite in the beautiful house near the beach and were in hog heaven. Boldie even brought out the pope hat to help celebrate Betsy's 50th birthday. He got to know the wait staff at the local bar, which he loves doing. And they all love him! Paul even shared his martinis. Later he took us to a cool bar in Portland with a frost strip to keep our drinks chilled.

In August, the Lefebvres went back to Massachusetts to Bolder's niece's wedding. Cindo said that was a super trip too - they got to see Boldie's mom Claire who is in her mid 80's, and his bro. They love the food back there, and it's fun for Bold to return to his home.

Amy and some friends were just up in Vail a couple weekends ago, and had a great time. The Lefebvres are such great entertainers. Then Bolder had a checkup, and though his PSA levels still look great, some blood results caused the docs to order CAT and bone scans. The results were bad. He has cancer in his liver and several areas in his bones.

I'm beside myself. How does this happen? Why?

Now he has another fight on his hands. Their community is rallying around them, as friends do. Our family is waiting to figure out just what we can do. Because that's what fams do. For now - I just hurt, and pray. And send vibes their way. I ask for your help on that.

Thank you.