Toughest job I ever loved

It's Mother's Day Weekend. I always think of my Mom - forgetting that it's my day too. Until my cool kids remind me.

I've been a mommy nearly 30 years now! I've never been a natural at it - I'm the first to admit it. I didn't grow up learning how to nurture babies. I was only 5 when my little sis Betso was born. I don't remember much about her babyhood and didn't help with bottles or care. I wasn't asked to babysit infants - a wise move by Atlantic parents.

I never changed a diaper until I gave birth to Amy Elizabeth Goldsmith. The Dr. Spock baby book was my friend, along with advice from my pal Vicki who had given birth to Kelli Marie a few months earlier. Paul and I faked it. Good thing babies are resilient little things.

Amy was an easy baby, except for her penchant for projectile puking. Who knew babies could hit walls from a distance of 3 feet? We finally figured out she had a milk allergy and soy formula solved that problem. I spent many early mornings at our little rental home in Osage watching the PTL (Praise The Lord) Network at 5:30 a.m. Oh...it wasn't because I was into Tammy Faye Baker (and her teary eyes). It was because the good cartoons came on right after that! I also loved cuddling with my little red-haired honey.

I remember wondering why the nurses were trusting us to take this little baby home - even with our second child, Jud. After carrying a baby inside you for 9 months, all of the sudden you've got this little life to deal with. It can be overwhelming - especially when sleep-deprived. I'd put Jud in the baby swing and wind it up - before heading downstairs for a quick shower. Was that okay? Those are the kind of things that a young mom can beat herself up about. There aren't books for every little thing - and we do the best we can.

I like to hear my co-workers talk about what their children are doing. It reminds me of the things Amy and Jud used to do. The stages of introducing solid foods, diapers, going to the playground, playing with friends, youth sports, movies and music - there are so many good memories. And some that weren't that great - that kept us awake nights.

Even though Amy and Jud are "all growed up" and live far away now, I think about them every day and text them often. We will see them soon - heading to visit Amy Memorial Day weekend and Jud in June. I am so very proud of the adults they have grown up to be. My job as Mommy will never be over. It's a title I love.

The Circle of Life makes my eyes wet

Paul and I attended The Lion King musical at the Des Moines Performing Arts Center last night. It was my third time and Paul's second time to see a production of this show. Oh how I love it!

The first time I saw The Lion King musical was in 2000 with daughter Amy and my sister-in-law Jean Fox and her daughter Margaret - also known as Peg. We were on Broadway - for reals! Peg secured special last minute "single" tickets for us at the Amsterdam Theater. We were all seated near each other, but were not next to any family member.

I only had one tissue - and it was shreds by the end of the show. I was overwhelmed! I was used to the Disney cartoon version of the story and wasn't expecting to feel such emotion. The beautiful music and portrayal of animals characters in the beautiful old restored theater made me weep.

Last night we were in lucky row 13 - good seats where we could see the characters. Some of them come right into the aisle and were very near us. The production was good and little Simba and Nala were adorable. The singers were excellent. And oh that song.

The Circle of Life hits me in the heart. When the new baby lion is held up for all to see - I can't help but think back to calling our parents when our children were born - to tell them of the new little life joining our family. At that time hospitals had real phones - so making calls was a production. Amy and Patrick were born in the evening but Jud was born at 11:30 p.m. - a late call for my folks in Florida!

Mom gave Amy that antique box

On this Mother's Day weekend, I'm a little sad that our children didn't have a chance to get to know my mother better. She passed away from lung cancer (heavy smoker) when Amy was 11 years old and Jud was 8. The memories they do have are few and faded. She was so proud of the whole clan and enjoyed parading them about - in Atlantic and in Florida. Betsy was pregnant with baby David when Mom passed away. He's now a junior in high school.

on the Country Club cart path

After Mom died, Dad did a great job of getting to know his grandchildren. In some ways I believe that because Mom was gone, they were closer to him then they would have been. Dad's friend Kay Harris was very welcoming when any family would visit, baking peanut butter and chocolate pie. Dad liked to drive the kids around in the golf cart at their Atlantic home, a condo perched on the back 9 of the Atlantic Golf and Country Club.

Two years ago my niece Leslie had a baby boy. And so it goes. At one point in the Lion King, Mufasa tells his son that the stars are past kings looking down on us. Somewhere Mom and Dad are smiling down too.

Lyrics:
It's the Circle of Life And it moves us all Through despair and hope Through faith and love Till we find our place On the path unwinding In the Circle The Circle of Life

Super Powers

My friend Cindy posted this on Facebook today:
"I just now realized I'm a Super Hero and my special power is invisibility"

I joked with her and said something about women of our age possessing this super ability. We Rock! What is it about middle-aged women? Do we don the cloak of invisibility?




pic from the Internet

Unlike Harry Potter, I don't really have a beautiful cloak. I just have my average height and looks - and now my advancing age. I answered Cindy's FB post by posting that sometimes I'm okay with flying under the radar. I like to be left alone while I'm shopping. At other times it's a lonely feeling. I realize I've spent the whole afternoon without interacting with anyone. I feel insignificant.

I could do a better job of making eye contact. I could be more outspoken. But I'm really an introvert in most shopping situations and unless I'm in a "spunky" mood, I don't do things like that. And clerks look past me.

Sure - it's a case of me wanting it both ways. Leave me alone. But not too much! I want it all. Is that asking too much? I'll try to be happier enjoying my super power for now - or speak up and surprise them.

Atown friend

Don't you just love dreams? Leslie's dreamworld seems to project what is on my mind.  I dreamed Paul and I purchased a new home that had a huge room filled with Cadillacs - one for every year. I remember thinking - "I don't want these things...we need to sell them!" (and buy more stuff for the house, I think). I guess I've been watching too much HGTV.

And Paul figured it out where the car part came from - I was planning a visit to Atlantic's automotive king, Don Deter. My dad bought quite a few caddies from Dandy Don, and the rest of us purchased lots of other cars. My first car, a Chevy Monza was from Deter's. It was terrible in snow, didn't have air conditioning and the struts went out on it in like 5 years. But I loved that little piece of crap!

Paul and I bought a couple cars there too, before we moved away from southwest Iowa and began buying elsewhere. They always treated us right, fixing what needed to be fixed without too much hassle. It pays to have friends in the car biz.

Don is rehabbing after recent back surgery and is living at Edgewater, a Wesley Acres facility here in West Des Moines. Don is stuck there until a spot opens up in Atlantic.

Don and wife Jane were longtime friends of my parents. When I heard Don was in the area I was happy to stop by to see him. Edgewater is Southwest of our house - south of the Huston cemetery in the middle of the road.

Don was surprised to see me! It took me a while to track him down. Edgewater is a big place - a new retirement campus in the front with assisted living around back where Don was situated. I nearly didn't make it in as I had to figure out how to punch the code in to get access to the door. When they put me in one of those places....I'll never get out!

I enjoyed visited with Don. He relayed that he'd had a dream about Dad recently - he was all dressed up from traveling, but was playing golf. Such a fun boy! I told Don what Amy and Jud are up to - always love to brag up the kids. And that Paul and I now live in the big city. He was interested in my job - truly wanted to know about what I do. We even talked about the chickens and their flu.

I'm glad Don's back is better. Perhaps I'll get to see him again before he moves back to A-town. It's nice to talk to people who know your people. You know what I mean?

My folks

DSM fun, five day work week

This was my first full work week back after vacation. Reality bites! I'm of the opinion the good 'ol US of A should consider going the European route - work less. Enjoy living more. But so far employers are stuck on 40 hours (or more) for full time. So we need to make the best of our lives - in between that work stuff.

When Paul and I moved to the DSM area, one of my goals was to try to enjoy life more during the week. It's tough in the winter - all I want to do is hunker down in our place when we get home. But now that it's starting to get nicer out...we're doing more! Weather didn't cooperate for outdoors activities (except for a few lunch walks), so our activities were indoors. I don't like to be cold.

We were watching the nightly news on Wednesday when I got a text from my pal Robyn in Orlando. "Hey Pal! Turn on Food Channel...Triple D is featuring (George the) Chili King...I want to go there when all of us do the Iowa reunion!"
I reported the text to Paul. We switched channels and watched George finish up making a yummy pork tenderloin.
Hmmm. We'd never been there. Sure sounded better than the leftover salmon and green beans I planned to zap in the microwave. Google location - and we were off - to Hickman and Merle Hay. We sat at the counter by a nice couple a bit older than we are. They had rushed over after the show too and were Chili King virgins, despite being from the neighborhood.

Service was, um, interesting. We saw four staffers - all busy, none was George of TV fame ( George looked to be about 80 years old). None of them was interested in taking our order, but we just sat and watched the show. One cooked loins, the others shuffled around (one big guy had some low-rider jeans with a view, ugh). There is an outside area - for car-side service - I'm not sure how many were serving those customers.

We enjoyed sharing stories with the couple next to us as we awaited our pork loins. Their daughter had been with Cirque Du Soleil for a while, but has "aged out" and is using her degree from ISU to do something with biochemistry. The man is an architect whose firm has looked at the locking system at the Wallace Building. We bragged about our children. As you can tell - it was a fairly long wait...but the loins were very good. I saved half of my sannie for lunch Thursday. Not gristly. Good breading. It was a fun outing!

RoCa - craft beverage

After another long day of work Thursday, we deserved a break at Team Building at a new place called RoCa on Court Avenue with federal retirees and Jim G. from the Department of Ag. Paul has fun talking hunting with Jim (a Creston native), and we even discussed where all those dead chickens and turkeys from the flu outbreak. How will they be disposed of? Hey...what a fun convo! We did eat the leftover salmon that night.

Friday Paul took the morning off to hunt turkeys near Creston. His decoy - Suzi Snood, was quite seductive once again. He double dipped by having a filling re-done at Buck Dentistry and was back in time to work half the day. Meanwhile, I got to go to the dermo for my annual skin check. They zapped one place on my leg - but I'm so proud of the job I did protecting my skin while I was in Florida. Sadly...the skin damage I have is from years ago - before sunscreen.

That night, we tried out DSM's only brew pub theater - Flix Brewhouse. It's located at Merle Hay Mall. We saw The Age of Adaline - a movie about a woman who experiences an accident that prevents her from aging for 100+ years. It was kinda sappy, but we enjoyed it and the Flix experience - burgers, brews. Next time we'll buy our tickets earlier so we aren't seated so close to the screen.

Merle Hay Plaza - pic thanks to Lost Des Moines Facebook webpage

Being at Merle Hay Mall brings back memories. While the Bullocks did most of our shopping in Omaha when I was growing up. Downtown and Crossroads first - and then Westroads. We did go to DSM occasionally. I remember Merle Hay when it was a shopping plaza - not even covered. Mom had promised me a new turtle as a pet, but when we stopped at the store - there were none available. As a substitute, I ended up with some type of pink foam goop from a toy store. (I was gypped - not as good as a turtle!). I'm sure we went to Bishops Buffet while we were there too - and I got chocolate pie and a balloon with feet.

Now today I was watching a moving there and sipping suds. Go figure. My pal Jennifer said I'd likely sipped beer at a movie before - only it was from cans snuck in. Righto! The Atlantic Drive-In was the site of many beers and movies. In college we took beer to the Indian Hills theater in DSM to watch Sound of Music when it came back out again. That empty bottle made a lot of noise when it rolled to the front of the theater during the movie...legal movie beers aren't quite the same....

Free Range Children

I didn't really read the story - but I got the gist. Somewhere out east, a dogwalker saw some "loose" children at play in a park. They were GASP not being supervised by an adult. Gulp. How dare they. The children were taken in by some type of protective services and the parents were arrested. Someone labeled them the "Free Range Kids" - like they were chickens.

Um, I'd like to put out a warrant for the parents in Atlantic, Iowa in the 1960's and 70's. You're busted! I know it's a different era now - but arrest. Really? Kids can't even go to the park?

Mom's fortress - as painted by Marilyn VanAntwerp

Last summer a little girl was taken in here in Des Moines because she was left at a park all day. I can't remember if her Mom was working? Looking for work? In a bar? That made headlines too. The little girl was around eight years old, and didn't have any way to have lunch - so that's understandable that people were upset that she was left alone. So what is acceptable?

I saw a funny blog last week "What Would Mom Do?" Sneak preview - Lock us outside and drink a Tab.

That was pretty much our childhood - but Mom didn't lock the door - she just shooed us out. We ragamuffins did show up for meals though. Peanut butter sandwiches with a lettuce leaf in it. Iceberg!

Cindo and me today

When I got to hang out with my big sis Cindo on vaca in sunny Florida (Yeah, I'm rubbing it in), we talked about our idyllic childhood. The neighborhood was our kingdom! We'd trot through storm sewers, climb barbed wire fences up above Bredensteiner's house to get to the pond (Thar be frogs here!), and make anyone's yard our own. Any open space was open season for a pickup game of anything - football, freeze tag, hide and seek, and kick the can. My mother didn't lay eyes on us for hours at a time. Free range!

As a young adult I was a life guard at Sunnyside Pool. There I saw many Free Range children - on their own for the day....or under the life guard's supervision only. That meant they'd come and go to the park, eat junk if they had any money. Freeze if they only had a towel and it got cold. There was nobody at home if their parent(s) worked. Many rode their bikes to the pool (no helmet), or were dropped off with a wave. They survived.

I'm not advocating that everyone today should send their children off by themselves. Paul and I sure didn't allow our kids to explore on their own any too soon. I remember the first time I left Amy in the yard of our first home in Creston all by herself. There were large picture windows so I could keep an eye on here - but it was on a somewhat busy corner...and the street...it was so close! I watched like a hawk.

The first time we left the kids at home without a sitter, the Kristina and Kim McFee were with them at our house. Amy must have been about 12 and we adults were just downtown. Let's just say it didn't go the best - something about our dog Moki barking and the big girls thought someone was there and they all went outside...We received a phone call and had to go home.

Everyone needs to know their own child's limits and slowly let the string out as they begin to function on their own. I saw a great quote yesterday - it's very appropriate here. It's by William G.T. Shedd. “A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for.” You can't keep your kid in the harbor forever!

I feel fortunate that I grew up in the golden Free Range age. I hope today's children are allowed to range some too!

I returned from 10 days in sunny Florida to snow

Well kinda.

 

My office cubicle was covered with this snow-like stuff. All surfaces. A note on my desk said - "See What You Missed". Well played Jeff Fiagle, well played.

Oh how nice it was in Florida this year! The weather was fabulous - best ever I think - from the day we arrived to meet Cindy and Colby at the airport to the day we left.

When we arrived, we ate shrimp and drank beer at the Crazy Flamingo. It's tradition! During the week we walked on the beach - some 35+ miles. Colby and Paul fished. We even ate the shark they caught. We celebrated Cindo's birthday at Fin. It was fun. There was cake! No singing.

Birthday girl and son Colby

We cleaned up for the birthday extravaganza

Mom's tree - a bit more crooked every year...

Enjoying oysters our last night

Sisters!

Paul was proud of his shark

 

My favorite beach!

 

There isn't much else to write about our week. Rinse repeat. Beach walk, pool, drinks, supper - with people I love. It was just what the doctor ordered.