Toughest job I ever loved

It's Mother's Day Weekend. I always think of my Mom - forgetting that it's my day too. Until my cool kids remind me.

I've been a mommy nearly 30 years now! I've never been a natural at it - I'm the first to admit it. I didn't grow up learning how to nurture babies. I was only 5 when my little sis Betso was born. I don't remember much about her babyhood and didn't help with bottles or care. I wasn't asked to babysit infants - a wise move by Atlantic parents.

I never changed a diaper until I gave birth to Amy Elizabeth Goldsmith. The Dr. Spock baby book was my friend, along with advice from my pal Vicki who had given birth to Kelli Marie a few months earlier. Paul and I faked it. Good thing babies are resilient little things.

Amy was an easy baby, except for her penchant for projectile puking. Who knew babies could hit walls from a distance of 3 feet? We finally figured out she had a milk allergy and soy formula solved that problem. I spent many early mornings at our little rental home in Osage watching the PTL (Praise The Lord) Network at 5:30 a.m. Oh...it wasn't because I was into Tammy Faye Baker (and her teary eyes). It was because the good cartoons came on right after that! I also loved cuddling with my little red-haired honey.

I remember wondering why the nurses were trusting us to take this little baby home - even with our second child, Jud. After carrying a baby inside you for 9 months, all of the sudden you've got this little life to deal with. It can be overwhelming - especially when sleep-deprived. I'd put Jud in the baby swing and wind it up - before heading downstairs for a quick shower. Was that okay? Those are the kind of things that a young mom can beat herself up about. There aren't books for every little thing - and we do the best we can.

I like to hear my co-workers talk about what their children are doing. It reminds me of the things Amy and Jud used to do. The stages of introducing solid foods, diapers, going to the playground, playing with friends, youth sports, movies and music - there are so many good memories. And some that weren't that great - that kept us awake nights.

Even though Amy and Jud are "all growed up" and live far away now, I think about them every day and text them often. We will see them soon - heading to visit Amy Memorial Day weekend and Jud in June. I am so very proud of the adults they have grown up to be. My job as Mommy will never be over. It's a title I love.

Mommy

Amy (age 23) still calls me Mommy. I thinks it's sweet. To Jud (age 20) I've been Mom for quite some time. They are both titles I'm very proud of. My kids are my bestest accomplishment.


Sometimes I talk like parenting is/was a big chore. But the days our children were born were the most amazing joyful days in my life! You kinda get to know each child while they're in the womb, but giving birth is like opening a present (all except for the bloody painful part). Who is in there? Such promise - so many stories to be written.


These days I'm not around little kids much - except in stores and restaurants when they seem to be screaming and shrieking. I forget how cute they can be. Babies are kinda scary. They're so needy and vulnerable. I didn't babysit and wasn't around babies much until I had my own. I did a lot of reading about what to do when. It was a lot of work. But oh, when they smiled that first smile - clouds parted, exhaustion lifted.


As they hit toddlerhood, the funny/cute things they said overcame the bratty tough times. Such energy - it was hard to keep up with! I recall parking Amy in front of the TV during multiple viewings of the Elephant Show just so I could rest. For Jud it was GI Joe and Inspector Gadget. They played together really well - and had wonderful imaginations! I loved listening in on their antics - trying to escape the bageyes (bad guys).


When they were school age our lives were ruled by their activities - mostly sports, but we tried piano (fabulous recital), dance (Amy was a pickle, in a green leotard, reused as Halloween costume), Scouts (too much competition and testosterone going on) too. Jud played soccer shortly after tonsil surgery, a few days later he threw up blood and had to go bad under anesthesia to get them cauterized. Amy had a triple play as pitcher on her softball team.


The kids had a lot of friends over to play. And they had fabulous slumber parties with artistic birthday cakes. We put together wonderful imaginative Halloween costumes - something I'm really proud of since that type of stuff really isn't my thing. Having kids pushed me to do things I never would have otherwise, just because I loved them.


And yes, I've basked in the reflection of their glory. And laid awake nights when things didn't go so well for them. It's hard to let go and let them live their own lives, but yet they are. And I like my newly re found independence. But on this Mother's Day weekend, I miss my kids and having our family living together, being a part of each other's daily lives, good stuff and bad.