This goes out to Pat B. and all the mommies

fashion shot Pat Morehead  -around age 16

Without a doubt, my own mother Patricia Nelle Morehead Bullock was the biggest influence my life - the early years. She was a strong, intelligent woman who always advocated for me to do something with my life. She also held each of us Bullock girls accountable for our actions. I love talking with my sisters about her when we get together. During the 2020 pandemic, we've been video-chatting weekly. Before this, our interactions were much less frequent and were more likely to be email - less personal. So that is something good that has come from this invisible evil thing. 

Since she's been gone since 1997, sadly some of my memories are starting to fade.

Me and my Mommy

It's not like my Dad gets no credit in my upbringing. He was part of the formula - but Mom was the glue! To quote one of my fave priests (Father Leonard Kenkel..."thank you, thank you - even when I went to confession) for all you did" Mama.

On this Mother's Day weekend, I also must give a shout out to all those other moms out there - sorry to those I've missed. There are really too many to mention in this blog.  

• Laura Goldsmith, my mother-in-law, a kind, gentle and caring person of so many (9 children, 23 grandchildren). I never Laura say a mean word about anyone.
• My sisters - Susi forged the way, becoming a mom a year before I did. And Cindy and Betsy. All three are awesome mothers who have raised wonderful kids. Now, my niece, Leslie is even a parent herself! Since the original post, nephew Alex and wife Lisa became parents. I love being a great aunt, watching those little ones grow. 
• My Sisters-In-Law -  In my opinion, all the sisters and brother's wives did top-notch jobs as mommies - the 23 Goldsmith grandkids (21 without our 2) - nice people one and all! We're fortunate to be accumulating many great-nieces and nephews on that side as well. Love seeing those photos on FB.  
• Friends - first of all my college pals. Vicki was the first mom among us. She gave birth to Kelli the same year I had Amy. I copied her - on many things, but Amy was much less prissy than Kelli and didn't potty train herself.... Then Kay Wilt chimed in - bringing her girls into the mix. Such close families, fab kids. 
• Atlantic pals, Julia Hoilien, Pam Jepperson, Sally Rodgers, and Chris Watson - all strong loving mommas. 
• College roomie Jane Flack - parenting first three fab children  - who have grown to be great young adults. 
• Crestonians -
• We spent many evenings hanging out with the McFees sharing meals - the kids would play until someone had a problem. Then a mommy (or daddy) would have to settle it. Bobbie is a very organized, no-nonsense kinda mommy (similar to my parenting style) but she had a snuggler with Kim.  
• We also hung out with the McKims - another fam with children the same ages as ours. Diana always seemed to be cooking or coaching with her kids - they were well supported, passionately as only an Italian mamma can pull off.
• The Petersons, mothered by my pal Deb, were blessed with two sons. Deb came from a fam of all girls. She handled parenting boys gracefully - without snapping nearly as much as I might have when the testosterone was oozing and they were rassling or punting the football into each other's faces.
• Lucy Hyde, Joan Weis and other carpool pals - we swapped many a parenting story through the countless hours of carpooling to football, soccer and basketball games.
• Mary Faber - before that lady moved north, the Goldsmiths hung out with the McCann kids and Mary a great deal. She served as a great role model - someone who didn't allow her children to rule the roost. Mary seemed to get the job done without yelling or berating them. Hats off for that - I never quite mastered Mary's method.

There are many more of you Mommies out there - too many to mention. I was watching, you know. Moms - we all try our best. They who say it's the hardest job in the world. They're right!

Here are a few things I learned along the way.

• Babies seem so scary and fragile, but are tougher than they look. Moose bashed baby Kelli Behr's head on a ceiling (Playing "oops a daisy" in a bar). She cried like mad, but she is totally normal today...we think
• It's hard to not give in to a strong-willed child - especially when they are making a scene in a public place. You have to "pick your battles" but it you give in you'll be creating a monster
• I read many parenting books. (Not because Amy and Jud were lil monsters.) I'm a reader - that's how I learn. Parenting isn't innate. One must learn strategies!
• This is one thing that really resonated with me. Children truly want boundaries - rules. That's what makes them feel safe. If they are the ones setting all the rules then they have the power. That is overwhelming for them. In my opinion many families today are in this position - causing chaos.
• It's very easy to want to "fix" everything for your child. Even today - when my children are grown up. One should fight against doing that. Remember it's in battling against the bad things in life that one truly grows as a human being. Let your child fail. And then praise the heck out of them when they find a way back!
• Don't live your life over again through your child. Sure, if they like a sport or other thing that you enjoy - encourage it. That's only natural. But they are not a miniature you. 
• Be prepared for surprises - each generation thinks differently. Yours will too.  
• Let them go. Encourage it! If you blubber when they go off - to a friend's, to school, to grandma's it will make them feel sad/scared. It's hard and it makes moms sad. They came out of our bodies after all! But it's healthy for them. If you need to cry wait until they're gone. It should be an exciting time for them.
• While your child/kids are growing up, develop your own hobbies and nurture friendships. Don't be a martyr - thinking you will be doing the best thing by giving kids 100% your attention. Demonstrating a healthy marriage, (or healthy single parent who can deal with ex-husbands as the parent of your child), healthy friendships and hobbies is a great way to show you love them.
• I know, this all sounds preachy. Even to me. Parenting is much easier to pontificate than it is to do. I wasn't all that great at it. My children have many memories of times when I lost it. Why, oh why don't they remember the good stuff I did? I tell myself that's because that was everyday...

Children are much like the weather...except you don't get forecasts on TV and online. Those perfect days are so sweet! And on those other days - you just bundle up or strip down and go with it - dealing with it as best you can.

I sure enjoy watching and hearing about my little relatives and friends on Facebook and at work. The stories bring back memories of raising our children. I've had many titles through the years, but just like my mother before me...the one I'm most proud of is Mommy.

My fam at the circus in Atlantic

On the Audit trail and lunch in Pella

Team Pirate is on the Environmental Management System (EMS) Audit Trail in 2014! Yes...I can practically hear the excitement in your eyeballs as you read this! You'll be following the scintillating tales of our group's madcap antics across Iowa. No not really. That's why I decided we needed a theme this year - thus Pirates, argh! We've been doing these audits four years. Team members put their foot (feet?) down regarding costumes though. Not even eye patches.

Team Pirate - on this end of the table.

We met last week in preparation for this year's audits. I wrote the meeting agenda in Pirate Language. I must admit I cheated and Googled words. Did you know there are Pirate dictionaries? I think "Talk Like a Pirate Day" has aided the popularity of this activity. Me Mateys were amused. (or pretended to be)

Scott asks a Q, Jen RV looks at notes, Becky is taking notes and Jeff is thinking deeply

During the audit we ask landfill staff members about their EMS implementation. I won't bore you with the details, but these folks are doing stuff way above and beyond trash ya'll! And they are putting in procedures explaining how they do things and are documenting results. That helps justify programs and to know how to best help the public. And...when staff members leave - the important stuff doesn't leave with them.

rolls to die for!

Today (Thursday) we went to the South Central Iowa Solid Waste Agency Landfill (SCISWA) in Tracy - 12 miles south of Pella. Me buckos and I spent the morning with the staff there - hearing about the progress they've made. It made me miss working at a landfill - for a short time anyway! Then the feeling dissipated. Poof.

We stopped in Pella for lunch - such an amazing little community. They just held their tulip festival last weekend and the flowers were still showing off. SCISWA staffers had recommended the Italian joint (in a Dutch town??) in town. It was molto bene! Very good. And I liked the Italian guy's accent. Sexy. The bread was fab too.

so pretty!

After lunch some my co-workers headed towards the Jaarsma's bakery. I headed the other way to get a pic of the giant windmill in town. I discovered there are big shoes to fill there! I asked an older gentleman to take my pic in them...he obviously wasn't familiar with Smartphone cameras. He got me getting into the giant clogs and more! Then he pretended to run off with my phone. Funny, oldster. I would have kicked his ass..with giant clogs on. haha

Aren't these clogs a hoot?

I caught up to my co-workers and purchased some scrumptious baked goods for the DNR motor pool guys back in Des Moines. I picked up the van we took this morning at 7 a.m. - right when they opened. They were very polite and friendly. I appreciate that. I dropped the bag of goodies off when I took the keys back with the mileage/gas sheet. They were happy!

Good trip today - it was nice to get out of the office with some scalawags!

Scott pays for his Jaarsma purchase...Becky and Jen at left wait to buy theirs - mouths watering!

Other notes:
My new fave show is on - Rehab Addict! It's on HGTV - follows the house flipper Nicole Curtis - a cute blond gal who lives in the Twin Cities area. She's got one of them Minniesoda accents. Like my friends the Behrs...

In tonight's show Nicole took an old cast iron tub to the recycler and touted the benefits of this place, because it took household hazardous materials. What a pitch woman! They had a "Swap Shop" there too - just like the facilities we work with do. They take materials people deliver that are still usable and put them up for adoption. Nicole selected a product to take home with her - some home fixer upper product. Free. Boom!

It's in the air - just ask my nose

I've had two treatments with Dr. Simplot - at Iowa ENT Center. He's cauterizing my sinuses with chemicals. Yes, it's as icky as it sounds - but I do believe I'm getting pretty good results. He told me around 70% of people treated in this manner do. I've got one treatment left.

my nose was working overtime at the Farmer's Market Saturday

Results: I've gone from taking AllegraD nearly every day at $1.50 a pop to barely taking it. And the other thing. My sense of smell is back. Well better anyway.

I don't know when my nose started failing me - if I used to have the ability to smell more. I've suffered from allergies, like my daddy did, since I was little. I faithfully trotted to Dr. Wilcox's office for allergy shots from age 4 to age 18. The concoctions were prescribed by allergists in Iowa City and Omaha. Along with the shots, through the years nasal sprays I used must have taken their toll on sinus tissues.

I started to notice that others could smell things I couldn't - good and bad. I college, my roommate Vicki would comment about smells all the time - and I was clueless. Sometimes I was glad I couldn't smell whatever it was...like the rotten thing in our frig that looked like a science project in the making.

If anything, through the years, my sniffer has gotten worse, not better. My sis Cindo has a keen sense of smell. I always notice this when we're in Florida together. Now - this cauterization has opened up some olfactory senses that have been dormant for a while. I've noticed a couple things.

What - me have bad breath?

Our dog has really bad breath! Those silent ones I always thought I snuck out - they're more deadly than I thought. There are also may of great smelling things in this world. I've enjoyed that aspect too - not just Subway bread - but flowers and other cooking smells. A fresh spring day - now that we've had a few.

If you've suffered with sinus problems or other health issues - consider talking to your doctor about it. It had been many years since I'd seen a specialist for my sinuses and there are many new treatments available. The Nose knows.

We're in the army now

As I drove around Amy's neighborhood in Denver last weekend, we went by a Salvation Army home. I thought - "hey, that looks familiar." Yep, Amy said, my sis Susi had told her she used to work there. The Booth Home - Salvation Army.

My sister Susi went off to college when I was only 11 or 12. She headed west to Colorado to attend Temple Buell College in Denver, later called Colorado Women's College. (Ironically, now the campus is Johnson and Wales - where my nephew Colby earned his bachelor's degree in culinary science). Susi majored in sociology - transferring to Denver University later where she earned her 4 year degree.

One high school summer I went to visit her she was working at the Booth Salvation Army Home (I think that was the name) in Denver - working with young women. I was around 17 and was so in awe of these young women/girls really, who were placed at this home. Why were they there? What circumstances would make girls my age not be able to live with their parents? I was so naïve...

I went there with Susi to help the staff plan a camping trip in the mountains with these girls. We packed sleeping backs and slept in cabins with the girls. I helped with them in the swimming pool - teaching them swimming skills. The trip was very eye-opening, that's for sure!

Some of the girls were kind of intimidating and scary. I guess they had to be to survive in their world. Or maybe they were just mean. I think being around these girls is part of the reason I have the progressive attitudes that I do about programs to help those who are born with less to get ahead.

Tonight was Diamond Brooke Ladies night out. I went to Champps to eat with women from our condo association. There were 10 of us. The California ladies are back - after 6 months away from the brutal Iowa weather. We had out own party room. The waiter didn't know Pino Grigio from Pinot Noir. I tried to convince Jan, the Cali snow bird, that in Iowa....wines are different than in Cali...but she didn't believe me. Nice time.

A few sights from my walk yesterday around the Diamond Brooke block. #sogladitsSPRING

redbuds!

running water in the wetland after recent rain

Across Cody Drive - always love the flowers at this house

If you have to throw a plastic bag away, tie it in a knot first...prevent this from happening

Tell it like it is

Words to Inspire the Soul is a Facebook site where people post sayings. This one describes me to a T.

Regarding asking for my opinion (or even when I give my unsolicited opinion...)

I won't say this is always what I do...but much of the time...

This is not a bakery.
I don't sugar coat anything.
If you ask for my opinion, then that's what you'll get.
Don't be mad when it's not what you want to hear.

I've always been like this. It's how I was fortunate enough to be born (is it in my genes?) and raised - my sisters are much like me. I'm not sure if it's due to nature or nurture.

I don't tell people that things are great when they aren't. I don't act like the sun shines out of someone's rectal opening when it's really radiating the same gas the rest of ours are. Eww. When I compliment someone - I mean it! I should do it more often, I know - I notice things about those around me often and I should tell them about it.

I can also be a harsh judge - another thing I learned growing up (my grandpa..."how much you weigh now, honey?). Or my dad..."her butt was as wide as 2 ax handles". Those voices in one's head never really quite go away. I finding myself making judgmental comments about people just to get a laugh...it's how I've always gotten attention. The curse of a #3 daughter - starving for attention.

Creston pals at Susan's wedding. What is going on with my hair?

Back to the the topic of friends. I blog often about how blessed I am to have many great friends! Today Bobbie McFee texted that she was coming to the Big City from Creston for a bit of shopping. Paul and I met her for lunch at South of the Border. She looks great! Several Crestonian pals are meeting for an independent weight loss group headed up by my bud nurse Nancy Anthony. They're all thriving under Nan's tutelage. Great job ladies! My Creston friends are true blue. (But I don't get to see them as much as I would like since I moved away from them).

Back when I was young - living places like Sioux Falls and Omaha  I was on the lookout for new friends. When friend shopping it's easy to be fooled by really good fakes. My natural tenancy is to be wary of people until they prove themselves over time. Flakes beware. I'm not talking about those people who are just unorganized and so therefore are kinda flaky about dates/trips/and other stuff - they just can't help themselves.

I mean the kind of somewhat conniving people who are flaky because they're angling for "better" options. They'd like to do something with you until someone cooler asks them out for the same night. Flake - screw you and your better option. (Let me be clear - I'm not talking about anything happening recently to me. Old wounds).

It takes self esteem to break up with "friends". I'm lucky that I'd rather sit at home with a good book than go out with people who just aren't that into me and my "tell it like it is" ways. Still, now that it's year 2 of living in the Big City, Paul and I do need to work harder at developing a local friend group. #I'manintrovert

Market and Derby Day!

Mom grew tomatoes on the side of the house a couple years and pretty Iris grew there too. That was about as in-touch with farming as it got at 202 Crombie while I was growing up in Atlantic, Iowa. My grandpa did take us out on his farm visits every once in a while. He owned a few farms that he cash rented. When we smelled cow or pig poop, he'd say, "that's the smell of money!" Me, I wasn't interested in gardening. Carrots were something that came in a bag from a store. I kept busy with my GI Joes, climbing trees, riding bikes and later - with my horses - Frosty followed by Jack. (It's Derby Day - I'm pining for those marvelous animals).

Pablo got a golden ticket (a license) to hunt the 4th wild turkey (no not the liquor) season. I knew he'd be getting up at the crack of dawn to head south for that activity. A perfect time to call my former roomie Joan McFee Bentley to see if she was available to go to the Des Moines Farmer's Market kickoff day. The weather was forecast to be perfect and Joanie was available! WooHoo.

She picked me up about 9 a.m. so we arrived when the thing was in full swing - parking was...well kinda like parking in Denver! Especially with the mess of cleaning up the burned out shell of Younkers which has disrupted the traffic flow. Like a pro, Joanie snagged a great spot on the street just south of the Market.

We made a beeline for the Iowa Farm Boys Hearty Food Company for breakfast burritos. Awesome and drippy. Anita Mittag - one of the owners (it's a family biz from Prescott, near Creston) always remembers me and calls me by name. She liked my environmental newspaper column in the Creston News Advertiser - years ago. It's one reason I blog today...I've driven to write. Something, somewhere.

I talked Joan into posing for this selfie in front of this giant Dutch Letter - even though she doesn't really even like Dutch letter...

My purchases:

• Bacon - while I was buying it someone wheeled a pet pot-bellied pig by (in one of those pet stroller things) and they bacon selling guy joked that he had his eye on it...
• Asparagus
• A couple Dutch Letters - I'm surprised they let any out of Pella since it's their big festival this weekend
• A couple Baklava - though I must admit they aren't as good as the ones I always used to get at the International Food Fair Creston's Holy Spirit Church puts on each September 

We didn't take time to look at a whole lot else because really it was just too packed due to the nice weather. What a day! 

Joanie and I then made our way over to the EV (East Village) as I had oil on my shopping list. Allspice sells oil and vinegar that they bottle themselves. With pink/purple hair. Joan got the sales pitch. 

Joan concentrates while listening to the spiel - she bought walnut flavored oil for salads

Looking at some of the spices, I almost thought I was in a Denver pot shop...

Have you ever had a recipe calling for Hen of the Woods? 

I had a great morning catching up with Joan. I lived with her for about 4 years - and we got to know each other pretty well! I miss hearing about her life - as we used to share our work angst and keep up on what was going on with fam. We need to get together more often. 

This apron says it all! 

Paul texted me early that morning to say he'd gotten his tom turkey...thanks to his new decoy...Suzie Snood it said on the box when it arrived from Cabela's. The little hussy. Worked like a charm! 

We did some errands this afternoon - we were in the mood to pick out plants for the pots out front. We tried a new garden store - family owned Canoyer Garden Center. They had lots of helpers for neophytes like us. 

I took a photo of a flower pot at the farmer's market that I wanted to imitate - Paul and the staffer selected plants

Now I'm watching the pre-Derby coverage. Horses are so beautiful. If you've never been around one then you probably don't know what personalities they have. I think they have a sense of humor - even more so than dogs - who are so earnest. I was lucky enough to own two. 

First my trainer horse (she trained me) was - Frosty. She was an older mare - steady but not flashy. My parents didn't have to worry about Frosty bucking me off. But the people who sold her to me missed her - so they dangled a young sorrel gelding in front of me...and my mentor Wayne Rodgers approved. So I bought Poco Hi Jack. He was 3 (the same age as these Derby horses) and needed training. He had a tenancy to rear, and buck. 

We brought him to Bondurant - which back then was way past Des Moines to be trained by Les Walker for a whole month. Now it's just another suburb...It must have been like reform school. He came back with much better manners! Jack turned out to be a great fella - boarded in a stall at a barn at Guttenfelder's farm near HyVee in Atlantic. 

Must have been about 8th grade summer - awesome leather show halter my folks got me for a gift...4-H baby!

I know how lucky I was to have a horse. It never would have happened without the oversight of Wayne Rodgers who made sure my horses had all their vet work and were shod and fed. I paid the bills - but he was the one who knew what needed to be done. Yesteryear and today - surrounded by great people. #blessed.   

Feeling like a sloucher

I'm feeling like a sloucher. (but a happy one) I hired my first cleaning lady today. I know - it's just Pablo, Odie and me - most of the time. So the place doesn't get too pitted out. Still - we live here...and stuff adds up. I don't do too bad at the regular every day picking-up stuff. The Clean It people will just come once a month to do the "deep cleaning" stuff that I don't get to. (mostly because I don't make myself...#poormotivation)

scene of part of the slovenliness

But I made the mistake of buying a bad vacuum cleaner...boy was that dumb! Hmmm, how could we have done that? Isn't buying a vacuum a lot like buying tires? So not fun. Unless you're my pal Chris Deardorff who really digs on sucking shit up. That's just weird. Maybe I'd get it if I had the $700 vacuum from when the Kirby guy did came and threw sand on our floor (and sucked it up) at our first house in Creston - but we'd still be making payments on the thing!

When I was a kid, we always had a cleaning lady. The first one was Mrs. Grey. She was the first black person I ever met. They may have been the only African American family in Atlantic - probably not easy back in the 60's. On cleaning day, we always ate lunch with our cleaning people - I was fascinated that the palms of her hands were so light. I'm sure I stared ever so rudely. Mom cleaned right along with our cleaning ladies. She usually - did the laundry when they were there too so they could help make up the beds. Dad was traveling Iowa selling lingerie.

The next cleaning lady I remember was Leona Wheatley - who became almost a part of the family. On deep cleaning days - windows, hardwood floors - Leona's sis Et (probably short for Etta but I never asked) would come too. Leona was quite a character - married to a man my parents said was a mean drunk. Leona was funny and never shy - she helped with all of our big family events, like weddings. Leona didn't drive so when I got my license one of my jobs was to run her home. She lived not too far from my Grandparents place at 909 Poplar.

When we lived in Creston, lots of our friends and neighbors had cleaning people. I kept threatening to get the service but never followed through. My friend Thea always lamented that she would have to clean for the cleaners. I'm not planning to do that. They're going to start out by cleaning carpets in 3 of our rooms. I'm so excited to get some of the things that have been "hanging" over me taken care of without going through the pain myself.

I hired Clean It, Inc. upon recommendation from a co-worker. I'm hoping for a good one time a month relationship! Call me lazy...with my schedule - I believe I've earned it. But I do feel like a bit of a sloucher.