Packed weekend

Whooo coach - I'm still exhausted. That was a brisk pace for this not quite so youngster. We got up Friday morning and headed south on I-35 towards Oklahoma. There is a toll road through Kansas and they collect some change, boy - $12! But we finally crossed the line into the windy state - and it was whipping on the plains.

About 10 minutes after we checked into the Sooner Legends Hotel, the McKims pulled in the parking lot - Don, Diana along with Diana's sis Barb and Katie's pup Lena. Quite a hotel - full of Sooner memorabilia. Later, Ryan's girlfriend was due to arrive with her folks - they're from Clinton. Laura is still in school at ISU and is a nanny for the children of one of the ISU coach's children.

We stopped at the attached bar for a couple drinks - but we sat outside so Lena could join us. Oklahoma allows smokers in their bars - it was like a time warp. Yuck! We had supper plans for a local legend restaurant - The Mont.

We headed there to meet up with the Conovers. Dwight, Marilyn and their son Phillip had driven down from Des Moines, arriving shortly after we did. They with friends they were staying with from Tulsa who own a condo in town. After we were there a while, Don's sister Denise showed up with McKim's daughter Katie who had stayed been bunking with them. OU Sooner staffer Ryan McKim joined us as well. Along with the Sooner marching band...playing - you guessed it - Boomer Sooner. I had a nice chat with Denise - she is a guidance counselor at a school near Dallas. Nice lady, as are all the McKims.

Saturday was game day baby! Thanks to our local hosts and tickets and a parking pass courtesy of Ryan McKim, we had a great time. If only the Cyclones could have played a whole game! Tailgating at OU is quite gentrified - not at all rowdy as it can be in Ames. That might be due to the early start (11 a.m.) but I was amazed how quiet everyone was. No rowdy music or loud cornhole games going on in the parking lot!

The guys went to pick up our tickets at Will Call and ended up at the Conover's hosts' tailgate location - right by the OU Daily paper building on campus. I enjoyed walking on campus - there were actually trees there! I pushed a strange button on my camera so pay no attention to the weird face on the photo!

 

Marilyn and Phil with Laura (Ryan's GF) and Dee in the background

 

Paul with Laura's dad on the left

Dwight points out the thing to Laura's Mom

Finally, it was game time. The good stuff all happened when we sat in our real seats. We eventually moved down by Laura and her folks - next to all the OU recruits. It's fun to sit that close to the action - but I wish ISU could have supplied some excitement. We did get to see OU coach Barry Switzer up close and personal.  The second half was brutal - OU scored something like 38 points straight.

Love this couple's reaction to ISU scoring first!

Barry Switzer - red shirt

After the game - we needed a drink!

We drove out to see the football coach's mansion (from outside the gate) after the game. Then we watched football in our hotel room and ordered pizza. The next day we had a big ISU basketball game to catch! But that's another blog...

Selfie - an OU guy carved from a tree stump

Where the Wind Comes Sweeping Down the Plain

We're headed to Oklahoma - tomorrow. It will be my first time there. Oh we've driven through the corner before, but that doesn't really count. We're going Norman, Oklahoma to attend the ISU vs. Oklahoma Sooners football game. Why would we want to do that? I know - it's been a rough year for our beloved team. Sucky, in fact. We'll think of this as our bowl game - in Norman.


Ryan - the cutie on the right

Our friends the McKims and the Conovers will be going. Ryan McKim, Don and Diana's son is on the staff for the Sooners after working for ISU since 2006 in various roles. Oh he tried quitting his football habit - graduated college with a degree in Biology and all. He even took a year off, worked at a bank and tried coaching high school football and working at jobs the 'ol home town - Creston.

Then the NCAA coaching siren song (and ISU Coach Paul Rhoads) proved too strong. So Ryan - who is daughter Amy's age (We call him number 2 - because he was ranked 2nd in their class while Amy was numero uno - McKims call her cheater, but they don't really mean it) went back to work as a graduate assistant in 2012. Translated that means low pay and long hours doing the thing you love.

Last summer Ryan got an opportunity to jump ship - to take a real paid position with the Oklahoma Sooners as an assistant special teams coach. Iowa State doesn't even have such a position! So he loaded up the Malibu and moved to Beverly - um Norman. Leaving behind his girlfriend, Laura and all of us Cyclone groupies. But we're happy for the kid! Ryan is living with a video guy and seeing what life coaching football beyond Iowa is like. Saturday we'll get to see him in action - as he helps his team most likely kick our team's butts.

Dwight and Marilyn Conover will be there - along with their son Phil. Laura (the GF) is coming too - along with her parents. It should be a fun group of Ryan and ISU supporters! I'm sure I'll report more later.

When we get back from Oklahoma, we'll rush right up to Ames to see the men's basketball team take on Michigan. Former Coach Johnny Orr will be there along with commentator Dick Vitale - his first ever visit to Ames. Then for the topper of the weekend - our pals Robyn and Julia will be in town. We get to get together with them. Can't wait!

More tidbits:

Amy gave me this cool bank for my birthday. I'm starting to fill it up for my next big adventure!

 

While shopping at Costco tonight, I noticed the piano man (no not Billy Joel) had this baby for sale. Note the buttons and whistles. If I would have had this instrument back when I took piano lessons I could have just pushed buttons and pretended to practice. I wonder if it plays chopsticks? So probably a good thing that wooden piano we had (that Betsy scratched her name in with a nail) didn't have buttons...

Clavanova Jr.

I received my DNR security card one of the first weeks I worked there - nearly five years ago now.

The card allows me to enter the Wallace Building through the west door, but has never worked at the North door. I finally emailed the Director's Administrative Assistant to ask what the scoop was. I suggested that perhaps it is my unfortunate hairdo in this photo that prevented building access. Karen emailed Capitol Security (yeah - they're like cops, but at the Capitol), and they said I really didn't have any levels on my card. Geez. I've seen worse hair than that around the joint. Anyway - now I've got 113 Access - whatever that means. No new photo though.

Thanks to Sarah Carper Darby at Sahar for fixing me up with a new hairdo about a week after this pic was taken - and for keeping me on the better hair path since then. It IS more work. I can't just wash and wear - but it's worth it. 

Veteran's Day - and the anniversary of losing our beloved Boldie

In some ways it feels like I just saw my brother-in-law Brian "Bolder" Lefebvre last summer. In others, I feel like I've missed him for longer than the year he's been gone. Bolder passed away a year ago today. I miss him terribly - but mostly so because I know of the huge hole his loss has left in my sister Cindy's life. Their son Colby is feeling the loss too.

Terrible picture...but one of all 4 of us so couldn't resist...plus Boldie's lil legs

Paul and I were preparing to move to West Des Moines last year when we heard of Bolder's serious reoccurrence of cancer. Virulent the doctor said. Our whole family rushed out to see him and to support Colby and Cindy during this time. The Alvillar girls were there with their mom, Susi. We gathered around for just a bit - and then left the Lefebvres to deal with hospice and...the end. Their wonderful friends, especially the Pottorffs. Eric was with Cindy and Bolder at the very end.

In the past year Cindy has gone through all the tough things. She was called "widow" by the pastor doing the memorial service. Man...that's reality calling. That word sounds like it should be reserved for some spaghetti Western movie, or rich older women dressed in black, riding in a limo. Not a five year old Subaru.

Cindy took part in grief sessions early in 2013. They were set up for people who lost someone - so included those going through divorce as well as death of a loved one. She shared some of the other stories with me. When we lost our son Patrick I read everything I could about others who lived through the loss of a child - reassuring myself that it could be done! There is something to be said for connecting with others going through similar circumstances to help you see that what your doing isn't all that crazy. Crying in your breakfast cereal, no energy - no interest in the typical things you used to enjoy. I wish those sessions could have gone on...but in some ways, it's good to move on.

So Cindy did. She is an awesome inspiration to me. I know she has gone through some tough times - and she keeps those to herself. Just like Eddie Murphy's character in the movie Trading Places - he says he's a "Karate Man" they bruise on the inside. Cindo doesn't like to show her bruises to the general public...or even her family too much. It's the English background you know - stiff upper lip!

I wish I lived closer so we could help more with the physical stuff - changing light bulbs and furnace filters etc. One day I called and her toilet had backed up...to the tune of $600, thanks to a root in the yard. That's when it's nice to have a partner to help share things with - the raking, pet duties, house, financial worries.

Great pic of 3 of my fave peeps!

Then there's being half a couple. I thought about that recently. Yesterday's blog about tailgating and hanging with friends - who were all couples. What a difference it would make if I were single. I doubt I would get football tickets. The thrill would be gone without Pablo to discuss the games with! And who would pack the car and drive me back and forth? I might go to a game or two...but not the whole season. One would have to make a concerted effort to get back into a social scene. And it would be hard.

I told Cindy recently how much we miss Bolder and how proud I am of her. She is making her way in this world and surviving. She isn't retreating into a total shell. This weekend she went to Denver shopping with Bonnie - and bought boots thank you very much! There is a lot of life left for my soon (April 9th) to be 60 sissy (and what a babe at that age!). Bless you Boldie (Coast Guard Veteran) where ever you are. Love to you and the rest of the Lefebvres.

Thanks to all veterans!

Dave served our country and Jean held down the fort while he was gone

Larry and wife Regina

• Our brother-in-law Dave Fox served in Viet Nam and then in the National Guard around the world.
• Paul's brother Larry Goldsmith was injured in Viet Nam. Paul remembers his parents getting the news.
• My dad served in Korea - we loved looking at his uniforms in the closet downstairs. Paula Bacon and I wore parts of the uni's for Halloween one year - including the boots!



Dad in military school uniform with Aunt Marty

• My great, great grand-dad Adnah David Bullock was one of the last living Civil War Vets in western Iowa. A Sherbourne New York native who mustered out of the army at age 18, he died in Atlantic, Iowa in 1941. Ironically, he married a Waukee gal, Ella Fuller, and I've now settled so close to there.

In another small world thing, note where Adnah David's brother lived, listed in the Obit - Earlville - where Paul is from. Things that make you go, hmmmm. Plus I liked how they noted he only had 2 of his own teeth and didn't drink. My grandfather obviously changed that trend - with the liquor thing anyway.  Wouldn't that make today's obits more interesting?

My dad's namesake, and Judson David's too...

Donnie's Birthday

Bobbie dropped a ($100) Benjamin at Maverick's Friday night for a drink - and didn't realize she'd only gotten change for a Jackson ($20) until the next day. But that and the last minute of the game - with the final ugly score - were the only bad things about the Donnie McKim birthday weekend. And Bobbie called Maverick's - the restaurant/sports bar near our place on Jordan Creek Parkway - and talked the manager into replacing half her missing $, so $40.

The Mcs - McFees and McKims showed up Friday night about 7 p.m. for a slumber party at our place. We headed right to Mavs cuz we were all hungry. I volunteered to be the designated driver. After messing around with headaches for the past week, I decided I didn't need the additional ammo of alcohol to fuel more head pain. It was fun catching up with the Ms. We hadn't seen Bobbie and Jeff since early September.

Don scored his favorite bev from Conovers for his birthday

Great crowd - despite a dismal record. Hats off to ISU fans!

Saturday we got up early - another 11 a.m. kickoff for ISU. Paul had made a crockpot egg casserole that cooked all night. It was delish! We arrived at Jack Trice to tailgate around 9ish. The wind was brisk, but the sun was shining. Dwight and Marilyn Conover stopped by, along with son Phil who was hanging with Bobbie and Jeff's niece Brittany - whose guy worked with Phil this summer. Ryan McKim's girl Laura gave us passes into the Jacobson Building - the inner sanctum by the football field. She's the nanny for a coach's kids, so she is golden!

Went in the Jake at halftime

The alumni band played in the Jake

After the game we hung out for a while to let the crowd clear out. But the cars kept driving through our area - irritating the birthday boy. He and Bobbie decided to handle it - putting the barricade across, cutting off traffic.

Great pic of Don and Pablo

We stopped at a bar south of Ames, near Kelley, Iowa on the way back to West Des Moines.

I drank my one beer/drink of the whole weekend at this bar
 

Bobbie had to commiserate with this fellow farm wife.

After we drove back to our place - with Paul as Designated Driver. Bobbie was quite chatty and we sang along with satellite radio. We headed 30 miles west to Dexter where a good restaurant, the Rusty Duck awaited. Along with two couples to surprise Donnie - Paul and Donna Pals and Beth and Todd Nielsen. We sang Happy Birthday and Don received ice cream (not a neck rub from the waitress, like he requested...)

Though it was only 9 p.m. when we left it seemed like it should be midnight! Paul and I headed home after that and the rest of the gang talked of stopping in Stuart at a bar. Yawn...we were in bed by 10 p.m.

It was a fun day with good friends. In this month of Thanksgiving, I remain grateful for our wonderful friends.

What style leader are you?

Last week - on Halloween Day, no less, everyone in our Bureau at work attended a retreat at Walnut Woods - a state park located on the Southwest side of Des Moines. Because it's like pulling teeth to have catered meals at such events - our bosses don't want to see the next Des Moines Register be "Taxpayers foot the bill for state employee lunches".

Our new boss, Alex got creative - a soup and dessert contest! I took Chicken Noodle, using a HyVee roasted chicken and frozen noodles. It was good. There was a late plea for soup sign ups, and it must have worked, because we had plenty for the group of about 50. A couple chilis, veggie with beef, another chicken noodle with real homemade noodles. I even had squash soup - not quite as good as my pal Julia's recipe. The desserts were fab - scary fattening and scary themes. Former bureau chief Brian Tormey stopped by to help with the judging - so nice to see him! Creston's Bill Ehm, the Bureau's Division Administrator, was also there for part of the day.

We did a session on customer service first thing. You may now picture me answering the phone with a smile on my face. (insert goofy smile here). We are public servants - and I thought it was a good reminder - regarding outside customers, and internal ones. We tend to forget that our co-workers are customers too. Michelle Wilson, who grew up as the daughter of a DNR wildlife guy somewhere in Southwest Iowa, was the speaker for this session. She was good.

The next speaker is working on her PhD at Drake. She was tasked with helped our bureau work through some things that haven't ranked high on our annual survey. She first wanted to help us determine what type of leaders we are. She uses Lee Bolman and Terrance Deal's Four Framework Approach to Leadership: political, human resources, symbolic, structural.  We ran through a list of questions, checking responses and then scoring to help us identify where we fall in the Framework.

I borrowed from a slideshow to get more information:
Bolman and Deal's Four Framework consists of:

• Structural Framework - Social architect whose leadership style is analysis and design - focus on structure, strategy, environment, implementation, experimentation, and adaptation.
• Human Resource Framework - Catalyst and servant whose leadership style is support, advocate, and empowerment - visible and accessible; they empower, increase participation, support, share information, and move decision making down into the organization.
• Political Framework - Advocate, whose leadership style is coalition and building - clarify what they want and what they can get; they assess the distribution of power and interests; they build linkages to other stakeholders; use persuasion first, then use negotiation and coercion only if necessary.
• Symbolic Framework - Prophet, whose leadership style is inspiration, view organizations as a stage or theater to play certain roles and give impressions; these leaders use symbols to capture attention; they try to frame experience by providing plausible interpretations of experiences; they discover and communicate a vision.

It was especially interesting to me, since I had just done a mini Myers-Briggs test when I was in Austin with my High School friends. They both came out pretty similar. I came out as a Structural Framework kinda person - with Political coming up closely behind. We had to graph our type and my graph was a bit warped. Hmmm is this a theme with me?

I feel that I'm more of a people person then these self-tests keep reflecting. Hmm. I evidently come off more Pat Bullock than I ever knew. Under this crusty exterior, believe me, there is a very gooey inner core. I am highly empathetic! Of course that does not lessen my expectations from ya'll! I think you can do good things and expect nothing less. I can deal with the aftermath quite well, once the dust settles, if things don't go well.

I do realize I am a very structural person. I need to know what the rules are. Moving targets drive me wild! When I worked at Gits Manufacturing, I would prepare 250 parts as ordered by an automotive customer - there was a lead time of 9 months to put the parts together. At the last minute the customer would change the order. It drove me nuts! Just tell me the rules - and I will figure out how to deal with them, or if I want to quit the game.

I also trend as Political - creating coalitions. I was lucky in this job in that I already had been friends with many of the key players in the industry. Our office has been a difficult place for me to form coalitions - simply because I don't do what anyone else does. Plus I don't have peers my age in my section that are women. I tend to go with the flow.

Many of the people that I work with are Structural. Not surprising since I work with engineers and other scientific, process oriented type people. Later that day we broke out into groups with the various types of frameworks spread throughout the groups. I'm not sure we solved anything - but it was an interesting exercise and the food was good. And we taxpayers didn't have to pay for it. The food I mean. Your trash paid for our part of the day as it pays for our programs.

While I don't think personalities or people can be parsed easily into categories, I do believe exercises such as this have value. It helps us understand our own tenancies and others'. We are all leaders - at work, in our families and yes, even at play or in social situations. Someone has to decide what restaurant we're eating at tonight!

Structural people do have creative sides - they made this kitty litter dessert and the brownies below

 

Birthday fun

I had a nice birthday - for a Monday! I'm 56 years old. Yikes. It doesn't seem possible. I can't be a day older than 46, can I? I took a quiz linked in the New York Times recently that said my "Fitness Age" is 40. Yippy. You put in workout information, waist size and pulse. 56 is the new 40 - except when I look in the mirror....

I received a number of greeting cards - I saved them all to open when I got home from work. Except Paul's - he'd gotten up to go hunting. I opened his card - just to start my day right. Odie gave me a wag and a doggy smile too. I'd purchased cookies at Trader Joe's, but decided to also get Dunkin' Donuts. I did resist those round mounds of goodness but not the TJ cookies. At our office, you're in charge of bringing treats for your own big day - which works well because then if you don't - it's on you! Amy called early - so I got birthday wishes from my girl.

I even snagged a box of gluten free for my intolerant co-workers (their systems, that is...)

After our staff meeting, I had a message saying I had a delivery.

My deer hunter came through with roses

Some how I was lucky to get put on the special calendar for a work lunch for my birthday - even with Becky gone on maternity leave. My job has me working between 2 sections at DNR. Solid Waste staffers are very good about celebrating birthdays. My real section - Financial and Business Assistance - not so much. Four co-workers and I walked down Grand to Quentins about noon for a big baked potato. I enjoyed chatting with them about non-work related stuff!

That afternoon I received a text from Paul saying he'd shot a buck with his bow - yippy! Last year with the move, he got skunked - no deer. This year he's gotten 3 - 2 with his bow and 1 with my car. Of course that one got up and ran away...(I got my car back today - $4,000 damage in total - out of a 6 lane road with no other cars, the deer had to pick that spot to run??).

When I got home from work, I read all my cards - so clever, and nice to hear from everyone. I had a date that night with the Diamond Brooke ladies - because I wasn't expecting Paul home too early. Plus the Packers were playing that night, so I knew he'd be pretty worthless as a dining companion. Marilyn was set to pick me up - so when a vehicle pulled up outside I nearly ran out and jumped in. Then a guy got out - he had flowers! They were from Jud and Kara - how sweet!

Paul arrived with deer in tow. We already have the meat from the doe being processed so he will donate this one to the HUSH program - so the meat with go to the prison system. Phew- as long as I don't have to eat it.

Marilyn and Mary Lou picked me up about 5:30 to head back downtown to Americana Restaurant. There were 9 of us this month. Sometimes there are more, sometimes less. Many of them have Mary in their names (Mary Lou, Mary Jo, Mary Ann) - it's confusing. Plus there is another Leslie - and her last name starts with B. My maiden name letter, which makes me think it's me sometimes. We range in age from young/old (my age) to middle/old (70's). I had a nice lemondrop martini and scallops. They were yummy! Connie entertained us with stories of her granddaughter.

Paul was entranced by the Packers game when I got home - good call by me to attend the meal! Jud called later to wish me happy birthday. He's headed to California - near Sacramento this week for work. Then he and Kara will fly to Denver for a concert and to see his sissie. They're doing a beer tour. It was nice to talk to my little (6'2") buddy.

I received text messages and Facebook wishes throughout the day. All in all - a very nice birthday. I feel very blessed.

Parenthood - the toughest job

Okay - gotta say this video just melted me. Be patient and wade through the NBC stuff...it's worth it.
Moms

Jud's first Florida trip

I saw a link for this on Facebook last week too - but didn't take time to watch it. Then last night, we sat in front of one of "those" kids in church. You know the type...(Jud was one). Challenging! Busy, fussy - not the type to sit through an hour long church service, that's for sure. Carter (I heard his parents talking to the little guy) was about two, and he is a demanding guy. He put the folks through their paces during Mass.

It took me back. After watching the video link above, I wondered just what Amy and Jud would say nice about our parenting - more specifically, my mothering. I mostly hear the not so good stuff. Yeah, they remember that alright! The times I snapped (not being very patient, as the moms on the video described it...). Parenting is hard - it's the hardest thing I've ever done. Those little people, and then not so little but maturing people, challenge us to the max! Sometimes beyond our limits of our emotions, skills and physical abilities.

First day of school

The town of Creston may not be big, but we were so fortunate to live there. We didn't have family close by, but the daycare providers we had were loving and caring towards our children. The Frank family - with Carol as the head "sitter" took charge of the Goldsmith kids from the time Amy was 1 1/2 until Jud was 3 or so and I quit working fulltime. They even kept the kids overnight a few times. Their daughter Missy babysat for us evenings too - which was great because she knew them well.

When I was pregnant with Jud, my pal Mary suggested we sign up for a parenting class. What? Weren't we already parenting our perfect little 2-year-old daughter Amy? Why would we need classes for something so natural? But we signed up for the class put on by ISU Extension? I'm not sure. Jill Glanzman was the instructor - she was in my women's sorority at the time. I was sad when she moved away shortly after that.

Keith Peterson and Sam Katzer look on - Superhero bday cake

We knew some of the others in the class - Bobbie and Jeff McFee, and it was really my first chance to meet someone named Deb Peterson - destined to be my BFF someday. Her husband Larry wasn't able to participate much as he was on sports writing duty for the newspaper. During the class, held at the Methodist church education building, there was daycare/class provided for the kids. Mendy Ritzman helped with that, and Amy loved it - doing drawings and projects.

3 generations

The main thing we learned in this class was that everyone that has kids should take a parenting class. Otherwise how do you really know how to do it? Most of us imitate our parents. Um...not always such a good idea. The Bullock girls did turn out pretty well - but parenting in the 60's isn't parenting in the 90's.

We talked about methods of dealing with child behavior in the class. And the magic of the "Timeout" instead of spanking. Yep, we didn't use the 'ol flyswatter like mom - and instead plopped our kids onto a bench that Paul built. It was in the front entryway of our home at 201 East Prairie. Sometimes I put the naughty child there not very gently. A few times I gave myself a timeout. I locked myself in the bathroom - because I knew I might resort to violence if I stayed around my naughty children if I remained near them. They pounded on the door of course - not understanding how close I was to snapping.

The best part about parenting class was being around other parents to hear their trials and tribulations with their kids. It was like therapy! It helped me realize that I wasn't alone in feeling so insecure about what I was doing. TV shows either show perfect families or those that are so comic and dysfunctional that you don't believe they're anything close to real. Somewhere in between is the truth for most families - not perfect, but doing the best that they can!

After watching the video clip above, I thought about all the good things I did as a mother - even though my children might not remember them. I quit my full time job to stay home with them. On mornings when we were home, when the marching band would go by our house, we would rush out and sit on the porch to watch them. I would point out the "older" kids we knew - like their babysitters.

The kids would "help" me bake cookies. Sometimes they would break the egg onto the counter instead of into the bowl - which drove me nuts. But I stayed calm and scooped it into the bowl. They would usually get bored and wander off soon. I dragged them to the library lots. (Jud always had to go potty in the stinky downstairs bathroom). We also played many games - they probably remember Paul mostly in this role, but I was in on the family football games and basketball games. Plus the board games - the dreaded Candy Land. Argh.

Our dog Moki was the best at Hide and Go Seek - our whole house was the hiding area. Moki would usually rat Paul out by "pointing" to his hiding spot. I enjoyed taking the children and dog to Creston's parks. Moki thought he was a kid and would go down the slide when they did. Though Paul was the sports team coach for their teams - I was there faithfully in the stands with the rest of the moms, bringing treats as needed. I made sure they got the very special birthday cake they wanted each year, and planned their birthday parties. They had some good ones.

After Patrick's short life in 1991, it because difficult for me to find joy around the Christmas season. So when the kids got older we began to volunteer to help at a local Christmas Dinner held at St. Malachy School. The children got used to service - preparing carry out meals, and delivering some years. They also helped bus tables and chatted with the folks who attended the event.

Amy gave me this note on what must have been a rough day for me...have kept it in my wallet ever since!

Okay - that's enough of me patting myself on the back. Just like the moms in the video - I often dwell on the things I did not so well in parenting. Why did I care so much about sports? Why didn't I snuggle with them more and hold their hands when I could? Patience - perhaps I could have used drugs...haha. Woulda, shoulda, coulda. Our children forgive our transgressions so eagerly. They just want us to love and support them. If we could find a way to impress upon all parents that there IS a better way to parent, to show moms a video like this, perhaps we could make a difference. It's the toughest, most important job anyone can do.

Love this pic