Moms
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| Jud's first Florida trip |
I saw a link for this on Facebook last week too - but didn't take time to watch it. Then last night, we sat in front of one of "those" kids in church. You know the type...(Jud was one). Challenging! Busy, fussy - not the type to sit through an hour long church service, that's for sure. Carter (I heard his parents talking to the little guy) was about two, and he is a demanding guy. He put the folks through their paces during Mass.
It took me back. After watching the video link above, I wondered just what Amy and Jud would say nice about our parenting - more specifically, my mothering. I mostly hear the not so good stuff. Yeah, they remember that alright! The times I snapped (not being very patient, as the moms on the video described it...). Parenting is hard - it's the hardest thing I've ever done. Those little people, and then not so little but maturing people, challenge us to the max! Sometimes beyond our limits of our emotions, skills and physical abilities.
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| First day of school |
The town of Creston may not be big, but we were so fortunate to live there. We didn't have family close by, but the daycare providers we had were loving and caring towards our children. The Frank family - with Carol as the head "sitter" took charge of the Goldsmith kids from the time Amy was 1 1/2 until Jud was 3 or so and I quit working fulltime. They even kept the kids overnight a few times. Their daughter Missy babysat for us evenings too - which was great because she knew them well.
When I was pregnant with Jud, my pal Mary suggested we sign up for a parenting class. What? Weren't we already parenting our perfect little 2-year-old daughter Amy? Why would we need classes for something so natural? But we signed up for the class put on by ISU Extension? I'm not sure. Jill Glanzman was the instructor - she was in my women's sorority at the time. I was sad when she moved away shortly after that.
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| Keith Peterson and Sam Katzer look on - Superhero bday cake |
We knew some of the others in the class - Bobbie and Jeff McFee, and it was really my first chance to meet someone named Deb Peterson - destined to be my BFF someday. Her husband Larry wasn't able to participate much as he was on sports writing duty for the newspaper. During the class, held at the Methodist church education building, there was daycare/class provided for the kids. Mendy Ritzman helped with that, and Amy loved it - doing drawings and projects.
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| 3 generations |
We talked about methods of dealing with child behavior in the class. And the magic of the "Timeout" instead of spanking. Yep, we didn't use the 'ol flyswatter like mom - and instead plopped our kids onto a bench that Paul built. It was in the front entryway of our home at 201 East Prairie. Sometimes I put the naughty child there not very gently. A few times I gave myself a timeout. I locked myself in the bathroom - because I knew I might resort to violence if I stayed around my naughty children if I remained near them. They pounded on the door of course - not understanding how close I was to snapping.
The best part about parenting class was being around other parents to hear their trials and tribulations with their kids. It was like therapy! It helped me realize that I wasn't alone in feeling so insecure about what I was doing. TV shows either show perfect families or those that are so comic and dysfunctional that you don't believe they're anything close to real. Somewhere in between is the truth for most families - not perfect, but doing the best that they can!
After watching the video clip above, I thought about all the good things I did as a mother - even though my children might not remember them. I quit my full time job to stay home with them. On mornings when we were home, when the marching band would go by our house, we would rush out and sit on the porch to watch them. I would point out the "older" kids we knew - like their babysitters.
The kids would "help" me bake cookies. Sometimes they would break the egg onto the counter instead of into the bowl - which drove me nuts. But I stayed calm and scooped it into the bowl. They would usually get bored and wander off soon. I dragged them to the library lots. (Jud always had to go potty in the stinky downstairs bathroom). We also played many games - they probably remember Paul mostly in this role, but I was in on the family football games and basketball games. Plus the board games - the dreaded Candy Land. Argh.
Our dog Moki was the best at Hide and Go Seek - our whole house was the hiding area. Moki would usually rat Paul out by "pointing" to his hiding spot. I enjoyed taking the children and dog to Creston's parks. Moki thought he was a kid and would go down the slide when they did. Though Paul was the sports team coach for their teams - I was there faithfully in the stands with the rest of the moms, bringing treats as needed. I made sure they got the very special birthday cake they wanted each year, and planned their birthday parties. They had some good ones.
After Patrick's short life in 1991, it because difficult for me to find joy around the Christmas season. So when the kids got older we began to volunteer to help at a local Christmas Dinner held at St. Malachy School. The children got used to service - preparing carry out meals, and delivering some years. They also helped bus tables and chatted with the folks who attended the event.
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| Amy gave me this note on what must have been a rough day for me...have kept it in my wallet ever since! |
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| Love this pic |
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