Making memories

After our fabulous cousin Christmas on Friday in Denver, on Saturday, we were off to the mountains. We love our people there - Aunt (my sis) Cindo and cousin Colby. Plus our pals the Pottorffs and many other friends we've met through the years. We kinda like those lumpy mountains too! So majestic.

Upon arrival, the six of us, plus Cindy headed to Fiestas for lunch. We had a nice meal before the annual Lefebvre Christmas party. There was snow in them there hills, but not as much as usual. Saturday was sunny and quite warm. That afternoon, we checked into the Riverwalk Hotel and I began to gather my party "outfit" pieces. I wanted to surprise the family by showing up in my latest ugly sweater -a Santa's helper elf. Alas, the black stretchy things I thought were leggings turned out to be athletic shorts. Ugh, that wasn't a pretty picture in my head, white hairy legs on an elf. Paul and I walked down the street and I picked up a new pair of leggings at my fave store, Ptarmigan. In Edwards you don't find $20 leggings, but hey, I had to complete the outfit! The churchgoers found a nice evening service in Edwards.

cheers!

Bolder's Christmas sweater lives! My lovies

The elf sweater came complete with a hat! 

The party was marvelous yet again! Though I believe Paul and I may have baked the wiener winks a bit long on the bottom rack. #weweresingingandforgotthewinks Even though Colby no longer works at Moe's barbecue, they delivered wings and white sauce. Cindy's friend made delish meatballs. Yummy. I enjoyed watching our kids interact with the partygoers. This was Corey's first time at the big event. I wish he would have had the opportunity to meet Bolder and be at the party when he presided, calling out the music like Lawrence Welk. The party wound down earlier than in the olden days (5 years ago) and we were cleaning up by 10 p.m.

Post present opening smiles! 

The kids were excited to get up early Christmas morning and open gifts! No not really. They wanted to get the gifts over with so they could get up onto the mountain to ski and snow board. At least Corey and Jud did. I played elf and handed out the many beautiful gifts. Smiles and laughter were frequent. We were feeling the love!

Colby left to go to work at his new job at El Sabor in Vail. He's been working pretty much every day since the season started. Our kids and my big kid hit the slopes. Cindy and I hit the jigsaw puzzle (this year it was "Games We Played") - I'm glad to report there were no paper cuts. The skiers came back tired but intact as well!

That night we attended the annual Pottorff yummo meal. They kindly extended their invite to all six Goldsmith-related peeps. I heart them! We met their new family member, puppy Dodger. The Sanders family was there and our pal Frank who brings lovely vino, but we'd like him even if he didn't. I enjoyed listening in on the "kid table" conversations. Bonnie and Eric's son Byron now works as a trainer at a small university. Reeve graduated and will attend grad school. Amy's getting hitched! They are growed up compared to the first time we were invited eight years ago.

I really hated saying goodbye that night as we were taking off early the next day to travel back to Iowa. We won't see our loved ones again for quite some time. (insert tears). Amy, Corey, Jud and Kara stayed on at Cindo's one more day for more mountain fun. They stopped at El Sabor for a lunch break and rumor has it their cousin with connections there bought. Those four (plus their auntie & cousin) seem to enjoy hanging around each other. #suchafunfam
I hear rumors of cart racing when the kids got back to Denver. Kara and Corey are speed fiends I'm told.

And so another Christmas is in the books. Phew. I love having an excuse to get together with my family, but dread the holiday build up - ya know? It's a lot.

Early morning goodbye to the mountains

Ten years ago on Christmas Day morning I got the call from Dad's girlfriend Kay that he was being rushed to the hospital in Omaha. He passed away a few days later as all four of his daughters had arrived to gather around him. I can't believe it's been that long. I sure miss him.

I don't know what happens to us we die. But I believe that when we are still alive and gather together  - whether with family or friends, the spirits of loved ones past are there with us. And they have had much to be pleased about.

lunch walk at work the first day I was back

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Favorite Christmas

We just flew in from Colorado and boy are my arms tired. Okay, not really - we drove. And by we, I mean Paul, who drove most of the way home from Vail in the snowy mountains to DSM. It was snowy in the mountains at 6 a.m. when we left - blowing too. Then, we hit Denver and thought we were home free. Not so fast said Eastern Colorado - try black ice on the road for about 80 miles off and on. Not fun. Good thing I had a trusty pilot.

It was tough to leave this morning, ending the whirlwind fabulous time with family over this special holiday.

• On Thursday Jud, wife Kara, Amy and fiancé Corey and Paul and I went to the light show at the Botanic Garden. For people like us, who didn't partake in the marijuana edibles, they sold groovy glasses that made little figures appear when you looked at the lights.



Corey and Amy will stand in this spot in August and say their vows. No goofy glasses...

• In just over eight months, Corey and Amy will be married at this very location. We can't wait! We are hoping the weather will be quite different...But not hot as hell.

Wedding reception will be in this room!

• After viewing the lights we went to Euclid Hall for supper - it's our nephew Colby's fave place. I just enjoyed soaking in being with my 5 fave people!
• Friday we hung out at the 16th Street Mall. There's a bowling alley there, those we never ended up donning the cool shoes and tossing the heavy black balls. Ping Pong and billiards were played though. Later we stopped at a deli that Amy works with (in her graphic design biz) for delicious cookies.
• That evening my Aunt Marty threw a family party at her residence. Our family, my niece Jordan and her fiancé Jill and my cousins, the Lamms, were there. It had been a while since our children had gotten to see my cousins- Amy (hubby Tom) along with their kids Kate and Matt - both students at CSU. And my cousin Richard, who entertained us with memories of Christmas past.
• After the delish meal, Aunt Marty told us about her favorite Christmas memory. A few others chimed in with their memories. I'm thinking this definitely will be added to my list of favorites!
• I'm glad my children have had a chance to get to know my auntie, and her sis Aunt Jeanie. Plus my cousins. Friday they all got to meet Amy's fella Corey. Marty had met him earlier - and had given her seal of approval. #coreymadethegrade

After the meal, Odie was happy to see the kids - her siblings! She moaned, whined and received the appropriate amount of belly rubs. The evening couldn't have been better. The next day - we were off to Vail/Beaver Creek to hang with my sis Cindo and nephew Colby. My eyes are getting awful tired and that will need to be a story for another night!

I Got the Feels

A little after 6:00 a.m. each Monday morning is not the most cheerful time for me. That's when, each week, I arrive at the "over the hill" Wallace Building to work. I love what I do - but where I do it, now that's another story.

If you know me, you've heard and seen my litany of complaints.

• Mice (and the occasional rat)
• Lack of working elevators - one day a couple weeks ago, we were 0 for 4 for a few hours
• Leaking roof
• Bugs on Floor 1, so I have to walk the gauntlet of slow crawlers on my way to the elevator each morning
• Smell - this winter the joint has been plagued with the smell of death. They keep telling us that it's the sewer, but I believe my nose can still tell the difference between crap and dead rodents...

There's more, but you get the gist.

Imagine my delight this morning when I walked in to see each and every occupied cubicle decorated as if there were a little working (tissue paper flames and all) fireplace outside the doorway, with a stocking hanging there. Each stocking had the name of the proud cubicle occupier on it.

Some elves took a great deal of time out of their personal time to put these up. Nobody is fessing up, but I believe it was the supervisors and bureau chief.

That fake fire warmed my heart. There is nothing like a little appreciation to bring a smile to one's face early on a Monday morning. I may be a long winter for state workers....we might want to leave those fireplaces up! Many thanks to the elves.

Walking Taco

I ate a Walking Taco (a marvelous concoction of taco chips, ground beef with taco seasoning, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream and salsa) at the Iowa State Men's basketball game last night. Every time I eat one, I take a walk down memory lane - back to when our children were busy taking part all those sports.

Softball, baseball, basketball, volleyball, soccer and football. It was at one of those games when I ate my first Walking Taco. When your children are in sports, if you are a true parent and are "All In", you help with all aspects. Some coach (Paul) and others take snacks, drive kids around and serve by, well, serving. I did all those things and helped with concessions. I served up a few Walking Tacos myself!

Following kids around, traveling to games, watching games and serving Walking Tacos with fellow parents, I discovered that you bond with them. You learn about the challenges your friends face and share their joys. You laugh, you cry, you bitch about the referees and other parents. Their sons and daughters are like nieces and nephews.

And then one day your kids graduate from high school, and you're cut off! Sure, you can still see your friends. There typically aren't any tacos involved. Life goes on.

Michael Hyde got married to beautiful Erin last Saturday. He and Jud go way back to youth soccer. Paul and I started car-pooling with his parents, Jim and Lucy to games. Ben Weis's mom Joan started riding with us too. Her husband Greg was in veterinarian school. He was able to make some games, but was a busy guy. We had that car-pool bonding thing going on. Love those people - and miss them!

Jud was in his bleached hair phase

Several Creston guys in this group

The wedding reception provided a great opportunity to see not only the couple of the day, but the parents! And many of Jud's buddies. There were even some adorable grandchildren!

Michael looks back at Jud

Jud and Kara were disappointed not to be able to attend, but Kara's work/travel schedule, a new puppy and getting settled into their new home precluded the trip. Next summer is time for their class reunion. I hope who ever plans it has activities for the parents! We need to get together again. Maybe we could do a fund-raiser. Walking Tacos anyone?

25 years after Patrick

We knew you but a short time. You are not forgotten. Never forgotten.

It would have been Patrick's 25 birthday on December 2nd. He was born 12/2/91 and passed away 12/8/91. The first couple days of his life were fine. I feel bad thinking back, that I took it for granted.

Then his heart crashed and he was rushed via air ambulance to Blank Children's Hospital in DSM. He was diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart syndrome. There were really no good options for us at that point, other than to disconnect life support. We took him home to the Creston Hospital where he passed away in our arms.

That experience was life-changing. When we first got to Des Moines and the pediatric cardiologist met Paul and me, she led off by saying, "You have a beautiful son." I knew that was the worst news. My heart sank. 

Periodically I re-live that moment. A telling moment in my life - when I grew up. I didn't live in a fairy tale anymore.

How many times did that doctor have to give devastating news to people like us? Your son's heart is incomplete. It was a death sentence back then - today, there are more options.

I didn't want to believe the doc. But it was true. And so he passed away at only six days of age. We went home with empty arms, to two young children who needed our care. I needed to heal, and parent. It was the hardest thing I've ever done.

Looking back, I don't know how I did it. Or how we kept our marriage together. It's easy to be angry at your partner when he doesn't grieve like you do. Guys (at least mine) don't want to talk about it. They want to work in their shop and build stuff! I read every book in the Compassionate Friends library (a cardboard box of books). Books about other parents who had lost children - I wanted to read about their pain, and then get to the end of the book. Just to make sure they got through it.

Our priest, Father Howard stopped by periodically, just to make sure we were doing okay. We'd make popcorn and chat. Amy and Jud, then ages six and not quite three, kept us busy. Amy was very compassionate. She'd draw cards showing Patrick as an angel - always including him as part of our family. Jud didn't quite understand what happened, but he was do adorable and made us laugh. 

For better, for worse was a vow Paul took seriously. You never really now how someone will be during tough times until you go through them. Though I don't recommend it, Paul is a wonderful partner to go through hell with. He put up with a wife who had a lot of tears to cry. He entertained the kids during those times, getting supper on the table too. Yep, I picked a good one!

Slowly we worked through the toughest part of our grief. It never really goes away. Especially around Patrick's birthday I always wonder, "what if"? He'd have been a busy guy, standing up with his brother and sister in two weddings in 2016 and 2017. Maybe he'd be living in our basement. Haha! I am too "Pat Bullock" for any of our kids to think of living there for long.

Our family is growing! We've added a daughter - Jud's wife Kara. In 2017, we'll add Amy's fiancé Corey to the fam. Our angel has more people to watch over now.

RIP Mrs. Brady

My mother let us watch a lot of television. Except the Brady Bunch. That show was banned from the two Bullock TVs - a Zenith console, color and a smaller black and white set downstairs - set on one of those metal racks.

Why, of all shows did Mom ban this one? She disdained how unlike real life the show portrayed American families. I think there was mumbling about how it "made her teeth rot". Too sweet. Thus the poor Bullock girls had to resort to catching glimpses of the popular show at neighbor's homes. Betso remembers popping next door to the Reinertsons to see it.  Rosemarie evidently was not taking a stand on the Bradys.

As the years went by, Mom slacked off in her edict. We watched re-runs and didn't even think of comparing that family to ours. By then I was older and was able to watch with a jaded eye. Some of the kids had gotten into "trouble" in real life by then. Aha! Mom was right. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. The housekeeper, Alice, was my favorite character. I'm sure Mom would have loved to have a live-in Alice around too - to help with the toil of raising four girls.

RIP to Florence Henderson, aka Mrs. Brady - another icon from the 1970's gone.

Another Thanksgiving is in the past, but giving thanks is not. This year has had many ups and a few downs. When things aren't going so well, I only need think of all of you - my family and friends. I feel the warm puppy by my side as I write this. I call Odie a pup, but is soon to be 12. She's really an old broad with a gray muzzle. She helps enrich my days. It's the little things.

Some of the Goldsmith clan celebrated Thanksgiving with us. Paul is the turkey master. I appreciate everyone pitching by bringing something! I loved getting out the special family china. It brings back memories from many meals through the decades. The gravy boat is my favorite piece.

The platter is stored in a back closet - huge enough for a whole hog. I believe the set is the combination of two grandparent's sets. It's fragile and lovely. No dishwasher for this stuff....

Carol had to break it to us that our antique baster circa 1970, thanks to Zora Bullock) was shot - no suck left.

Foxes and Archers - can't believe Mandy is a HS senior!

A great team,  Carol and Paul - uniting for gravy

The best part about hosting a meal? Leftovers! I had pie for breakfast. Next we get so celebrate Christmas with our children (that now includes their spouses and "to-be spouses" in Colorado. We'll see Aunt Marty, Lamm cousins and my sis and nephew. Maybe even Jordan and Jill! What a way to finish up the year. I hope your tummies are full and you had some "Brady" moments yesterday. Or not...

Front Porch

Jud and Kara moved into their new home last week.

Doesn't it have a beautiful front porch? As my Aunt Marty says - it looks like a happy place. Complete with a front porch swing. I can't wait to visit.

All of the homes Paul and I have owned have had small front porches - stoops really. Nothing as grand as this. It reminds me of my grandparent's home at 909 Poplar in Atlantic. I have so many great memories of that home - the place my father and his sisters grew up.

It's on Zillow now, so I was able to get photos of what it looks like today. Someone has taken good care of this beauty!

I wonder if there are still peonies along the left side of the sidewalk?

We always went in through the back door - so this was our view. The kitchen. This was where my grandma, Zora Clayton Stewart Bullock whisked the turkey to when the card table holding the turkey collapsed - tossing said bird to the ground. It was Thanksgiving and my great uncle Max Bullock was attempting to carve the turkey. That's my recollection anyway. My gran, Momo, proudly brought the turkey back out moment later saying, "good thing we had a spare!"

Beautiful fireplace

We spent many holidays in that home, playing games in the front hall. We'd play with the toys our father and aunts once played with - board games from pre WW2. Tiddly Winks into the corn bread container. Sometimes we would bravely go down into the cellar - unfinished and chilly. Or the attic, where I was told the insulation (by sister Cindo no doubt) would swallow me alive. In each of those places there were remnants of my aunties and Dad - prom gowns, toys and books, like the Bobbsey Twin and Nancy Drew.

So much built in storage

 There were four bedrooms upstairs at the home. It was fun to stay overnight with Momo and Bubba (Wallace Orville Bullock). And sleep in the room at the top of the stairs. Once retired, my grandfather took oil painting lessons in Omaha. He became quite good, winning ribbons at area art shows. I have a couple of his works. I remember the front bedroom filled with easels, paints and paintings in various stages of completion.

In the early 1970's my grandparents moved to a condominium (Bub couldn't ever say that work right - he called it a condo -ninium). It was lovely and fit their needs with everything on one floor. My former boss at the gas station, Harry Hjortshoj and his wife purchased the house on Poplar. We were glad to see it go to someone who would love it as we did.

And so it goes from life's front porches. No matter where we live, be it a house with a big front porch, or an apartment in a city or a townhouse. We are all connected - creating memories. We are family.

A photo from 909 Poplar - living room

I'm wishing everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving.