In Honor of Women

Bullock girls - rear view

Today is International Women's Day. In honor of that, I decided to make some inquiries from a few people I know. "What women have impacted your life?"

The results were impactful. Some mentioned friends/famous people they admire. One wrote of a college friend who, despite her own heavy early life burdens, was always there to help those struggling with depression, anxiety, and past trauma.

Several of us couldn't help but mention our mothers. When I think of my mom, I can't help but conjure up my three sisters who took away the best parts of our mother - her strength, intelligence, persistence and don't forget those organizational skills. Others recall their mother's abilities to nurture - and comfort in tough times. One mom helped a friend understand that her bully likely had her own monsters causing her to lash out - which in turn helped my friend become one of the most empathetic people I know.

One pal called out her own wonderful daughter as her muse. As a young mother, my friend says she learned strength from and with her girl.

Two mentioned women who helped raise them up as they moved through their careers. Isn't it wonderful when we can help lift each other up? Even when we are not in power position to give people $ raises, we can encourage others. Sometimes knowing that others believe in you is all it takes. 

My favorite came from a friend who years ago, in a troubled time, reached out to a therapist to help with depression and anxiety. The psychologist was able to help her learn life tools - guiding with "compassion, grace, and patience". My friend still uses those skills today. She happily reported that she called the doctor, now retired, this morning to thank her for her guidance. What a wonderful outcome of this exercise - a made up day to celebrate women!

Paul picked me - kind of a cop out, but it made me smile. I thought he'd choose his mother - what a wonderful woman. Try asking your friends and family. You might be surprised at the answers!

So Chill

I don't recall just when I became such a cold wimp. Did it happen overnight, or was it a gradual thing? The fact is that cold is now more than a mere inconvenience for me, it's a pain!

Bundled at a football game fall 2018

Snowbirds - nickname for people who go south for the winter. My grandparents and parents were snowbirds - escaping Iowa in October, returning in the spring. My mother's parents, Nelle and Herb Morehead, actually retired permanently to a place in Dunedin, Florida. Dad's parents rented a condo (we'll use the short version of the word because my grandpa could never quite pronounce the full word, condominium (ninium, minum..?)) in the St. Petersburg, the Redington Beach area.

Weeks like the last few in Iowa have me daydreaming for warmer places. I love Iowa and our life here. But my bones (and other parts) are tired of being cold - she types with fingerless gloves on, covered with a heated blanket. 

Showing off in ski gear - 1970's Jennifer Deter, Vicki Behr, Steve Hauser - Breckenridge

Memory lane has me playing outside for hours, only surrendering to the cold when I couldn't feel my toes anymore. When we went to Sunnyside Park to ice skate on the flooded tennis court, they were wise to put heaters in that little shack - for a warm-up hut. I skied in cold weather before thin but warm fabrics were invented. Ski boots weren't warm and socks and mittens/gloves got better through time. I started in cotton athletic socks and woolen mittens.

Before schoolboards came to their senses and girls were allowed to wear pants to school, I walked to school in dresses. Sometimes we put pants on under, but you know how fashions are. In upper elementary school, that became "uncool". I remember rubbing my red frozen thighs to get them warmed up after the four block walk. Yikes!

In college, we sat at a few super cold ISU football games way back - before HotHands were invented. I remember thawing my toes out by a heat register. That is painful.

These days I'm much colder and smarter. I get cold just sitting at my desk or in my chair at home. Ugh! I envy those who are warmer blooded. Dare I say "hot" - yet they complain about being uncomfortable in their state too. There are pockets and people on 5th floor of the Wallace Building that are warmer. The rest of us bundle up. I plan ahead for where I'm going and the layers I will need. If I get too cold at events, I leave. (not work - haha).

Those who live and winter in the south are righteously trolling those of us getting nailed with winter weather. Sister Betsy who lives in typically moderate SW Washington has received an amazing amount of snow recently. They don't have snow handling equipment in that area. Seattle got some white stuff too. 

We are expecting more snow and more cold weather in the next week. It's a good thing we are hardy souls - with lots of layers! 

Slip Sidin' Away

It's a snowy Sunday in Iowa. We got about four fluffy inches of the stuff overnight. We're having a real winter this year - sneaking through December with little of the white stuff. People even played golf late into the year. Then January hit.

Years like this one remind me of my childhood in smalltown Iowa. Our garage was filled with a variety of sliding objects - wooden sleds with metal runners, an aluminum toboggan with a green cloth pad, and the wild and crazy metal saucers that looked like hubcaps.

A day like today would have been filled with a number of sledding "runs". We were in and out of the house several times a day, with breaks to warm up and have snacks. Our yard, before we built the deck at the top of the hill, was perfect for sledding. We piled on a variety of winter clothing with woolen mittens. The boots back then were the rubber kind that you put on over your shoes. I don't know how Mom kept all those sizes straight! She did insist we use the back door for entry and exit - right into the laundry room.

When we got tired of our own little hill, we headed for bigger challenges. The biggest we could walk to was Washington Hill - near the Elementary School. The only problem there was Buck Creek at the bottom. Gulp! I never did hit water there. One time I was some guys sledding on a car hood. That baby ran fast! It was fun when someone took the time to make a snow mogul, or jump to route the sled over. Sometimes we sledded so long, our extremities would be frozen. Well worth it though. Fun!

Later, when we had kids, we had modern versions of sleds and we had fun all over again sledding. By then someone had invented blow up sleds. Our dog Moki loved to chase that sled as the kids slid down bus barn hill near our first home on Prairie in Creston.

Snow. Yeah, I get sick of it. But when you embrace it - it's a lot of fun!

Casseroles

My mother, Pat Bullock, was a casserole queen. She started married life as someone who didn't know how to cook. Lucky for her, she was so gorgeous and smart, Dad didn't mind. #hemarriedahottie

My parents, so young! and Dad's parents

Then she popped out four daughters in eleven years. Dad started traveling the state of Iowa Monday through Friday, repping Lorraine Lingerie. Mom learned to cook the basics. Susi, Cindy, Betsy and I laugh about the things she served us. I don't know how she stayed sane, cranking out meals every night, week after week. No wonder Mom came up with exotic delights like open face hot dog buns with hot dogs and cheese - broiled in the oven. Toasted ham salad sandwiches - ugh! We'd usually also have a salad offering like a canned pear slice on a bed of lettuce with grated cheese. The lunch menu was a peanut butter sandwich that includes a crisp piece of iceberg lettuce on white bread. Campbell's soup - chicken noodle or bean with bacon.

Mom at the stove

Dressed up to cook! 

You know I didn't really pay attention to my mother's needs when I was a kid. Most kids don't. Moms are service providers, right? I feel so fortunate that she worked hard to provide for all of our needs, raising us in our ranch house in small town Iowa. It was an idyllic childhood - one I remember fondly. Our parents didn't need to arrange play dates, the neighborhood was full of kids - families of four to seven running loose on foot and on bikes. At meal time she hollered for us or rang the bell by the back door. We came running.

My Mom didn't have aspirations to be a short order cook. Like many in the post-WWII era, she was a stay at home Mom. In her later years, I learned how much that took a toll on her own ambitions. She graduated from the University of Iowa, tops in her program - Political Science. Mom was busy in our little town - a valued Red Cross swim instructor in my younger years, a Cass County Hospital Board member, and she was active in the Republican Party. But she must have had that "woulda/shoulda/coulda" feeling - if only she'd been born later.

Mom's Thanksgiving dinner

My own years of meal planning and cooking - with the equal partnership of my spouse, increased by admiration of the job Mom did keeping us fed. Even if I do look back laughingly at the menu. In her later years Mom became a good cook. She worked at it! And Dad was the grillmeister. My sisters are all good cooks. I prefer cleanup duty - but can put together a recipe when pressed into service.

Of course, Mom cooked AND took the photo! 

Some people don't like leftovers. I thank Mom for my love of leftovers and the marvelous concoctions we call casseroles. She was especially good with Thanksgiving leftovers. Yummo!

I've never had the magical ability to combine the ingredients to end up with a meal. Thank you, Hamburger Helper! (Amy and Jud may not agree). This work outside the home mom needed all the help I could get to put meals on the table after a long day. We didn't always eat meals out of a box. There were jars (Prego) and cans (Cream of soups) included too. Spaghetti, chops, parmesan chicken, enchiladas and everyone's favorite (okay Paul's and mine) hamloaf. Not a lot of good fish available in SW Iowa back then. We did make a lot of soup - in the Crock Pot and clay cooker. I did have a few fave casserole recipes.

Casseroles mean more to me than food. They mean mealtime - togetherness. That's the best part. It isn't always easy to get the family together for meals once the kids hit sports practice age. Mom would keep a plate warm for me. We did that for our kids. Paul and I still try to eat at the table each night. Unless the Cyclones are playing. We do have our priorities!

Carrying the Bags

We came together in Arizona - carrying our baggage. Beat up old bags and newer ones, Some were big and others small. We came together to help each other carry our baggage. Sharing the load makes all the difference, yes? Yes.

I first saw Robyn and Paula at the rental car depot in Phoenix, after leaving frigid Des Moines at 5:30 that morning before the Martin Luther King holiday. Thanks to all the TSA employees at the airports I flew through for cheerfully sending me on my way while working with no pay. I thanked them in person too.

We hopped into the rental van and took off to meet the rest of our gal pals for this year's rendezvous. We are a ragtag group of friends who reestablished our friendship that started in our hometown of Atlantic, Iowa. I like to brag about the fact that my friendship with Robyn and Paula has lasted 57 years or so - but there were some long breaks in there. I've known Watson, Julia, Sally, and Pam for much less time - only 45 to 50 years.

This group of us reconnected around ten years ago and a strong bond formed - even closer than our childhood friendship. We discovered at age 50 that we love each other and have very similar world views. We fill each others' buckets - and mostly we think we're funny.

Watson moved to the Phoenix area a couple years ago. Sal and Julia flew in on Thursday and stayed with her. The van girls had a mission before we met at a Mexican restaurant. To pick up a tall can of Pam - to represent our missing pal Pam who stayed home to support a loved one with health issues. Hugs all around as we joined together. Laughter filled the air around the outdoor table where we sat. (Meanwhile, snowy and cold in Iowa).

The trip south to our Oro Valley (near Tucson) condo took just over an hour. Watson had done a great job preparing for the trip - purchasing food, booze and she even made soup! We were set. That night we just hung out enjoying each other's company. That was when we started unpacking our bags.

These girls are my loves in a way I can't explain. Their friendship is a very safe place that boosts me. It picks me up when I'm down. If I'm having a bad day - I can start a text message with them and soon, I'm feeling better.

On Saturday after we arrived in AZ, we visited the Tohono Chul Garden. I didn't know there were so many types of cacti! One even shot a sticker ball out at Robyn. We enjoyed a lovely brunch at the bistro there. That night we visited Robyn's brother's place. Mike and Kathy Henningsen kindly invited us over for a drink. Mike's grandparents were friends with my grandparents. My dad was a pal of Tom Henningsen - who called Dad "Bullock" to the end. Mike and Kathy have a beautiful winter home to go with their summer place in Atlantic. Son Brad now runs Henningsen Construction. It was fun to catch up with them and talk about the old hometown.

View at Henningsen's home

On Sunday we traveled to downtown Tucson for the Women's March. It was a group decision to participate in this event. Why? Women are making progress - but there still is a long way to go to continue the work done by those who went before us. Paul and I attended the Ruth Bader Ginsberg based movie "On The Basis of Sex" Saturday night. It reminds me how far we've come.

It was a wonderful group of progressive people with interesting signs. I especially appreciated seeing the indigenous people of the area, some in their native clothing demonstrating a field hockey type game. It was a gorgeous day in the low 70's. We listened to speakers and walked together with many, circling city blocks. One water stop featured glass jelly jars instead of plastic. Yay!

We headed back towards the van - hitting the jackpot by finding an artisan area with a bar. Drinks and food were in order - along with a bit of shopping. It was game night - NFL playoffs. We stopped at the store to pick up supplies for the game watch - wings and stuff.

I'd been in contact with homies from my other hometown - Creston. Dwight and Marilyn Conover, now of Okoboji, who also winter in Oro Valley. I first met Dwight when I took a job as a bookkeeper at First National Bank in Creston. DC was the bank pres. I was the lowly lippy help. Marilyn aka Merle and I were in a women's sorority together and became friends. Later, we moved next door to the Conovers. They didn't keep us awake at night with loud music or anything! Dwight's work took them to NW Iowa so they eventually moved, but we still see them frequently at ISU events - mostly tailgating. I invited them over for a drink - our condo was a short drive from their home. My A-town friends were delighted to meet them, and besides, they know our pal Roger Underwood, who has served on ISU fundraising boards with Dwight.

Later that night we Facetimed Pammie, who couldn't be with us. I really missed that girl. She is one who I have really gotten to know better as an old lady than I did as a youngster. She's so open, fun, and funny. We celebrated renewal after a tough health year by a couple of us. And Watson's birthday.

A gift of infinity bracelets

French Silk! 

Then we played Left, Right, Center - an easy dice game that even I can play (no real skill is required). After, we sat around and chatted - dragging out some of our baggage and other things going on in our lives. Those are our gathering times I love the best. The support and unconditional love pours out and surrounds us. We laugh, we cry. We share personal care and health tips. Girlie stuff! Some of us sat in the hot tub overlooking the beautiful mountains. The blood moon wolf moon solar eclipse was just starting. I was tired - I had to see it via photo the next day. What a great day!

Marilyn, Watson and me

Marilyn had offered to take us on a hike to Honey Bee Canyon on Monday to hike to see petroglyphs. It was Robyn's first excursion test driving the new hip - walking in a sandy wash. We all made it! Got some good pics and a feeling of accomplishment.  Paula and I got a tour of the Conover home - Dwight says it a view with a home - the back window framing up the area mountains.

When we got back to the condo, the gang was starting to pack up as Sal had a Monday evening flight. It was a flurry of activity that involved packing up most of the food, bevs and their belongings. Jules and Rob were going too - leaving only Paula and me in the condo. Parting was hard - especially this year. We're tough old coots. Hmm, where to next year?

There was a snafu with the rental van keys. They disappeared. Oops. Paula stepped into biz mode and dispatched the van. We arranged for a shuttle to Phoenix. Thanks to Dwight and Merle for driving us to the pickup site. Nothing like old friends! Goodbye to Paula - it was fun to see her twice these past few months.

I kick myself for scheduling my flight through Detroit. What a dumbass. It was fall when I booked the ticket - and I was trying to coordinate with others. Still, bad plan. I ran through the Detroit airport and got to my seat just in time for the airport to be shut down due to ice. First for an hour, then for the night. I considered getting a hotel but just didn't want to spend $130 for a night of non-sleep. So I slept at the airport. The next morning my flight finally took off at 10:30 a.m. I do know how to stretch out a vacation! My honey picked me up.

Another bucket filling vacation was in the books. Time to put those bags away. Until next time.

Calling it a Career

Last day of work picture

Paul G. Goldsmith has retired from the Natural Resources Conservation Service (NRCS). NRCS is a technical assistance arm of the Department of Agriculture - helping farmers conserve resources and preserve the environment. He started with that organization in Oakland, Iowa in September 1982 - right after we were married. We were babies! And didn't really understand the significance of the career he had undertaken and the impact it would have on our lives. I was just excited that he had a paying job near mine in Omaha!

Our 1982 engagement photo - I got a lot of mileage out of that blue blazer

NRCS soon realized what a gem they had. Paul was promoted to a "boss" of an NRCS office in Mitchell County in 1984 at the age of 26 working with farmers directly, promoting practices to reduce soil loss. And if you know farmers...As the son of a farmer, he did it very well! He moved between boards, the state office, and stakeholders with ease. And managed staff - most were much older than he was in those early years. We enjoyed our time "up north". I found a good job at Fox River Mills - a cool sock and glove factory - as their order department was just becoming computerized. We met many wonderful people and explored the area. But, when Paul had an opportunity to move south to a more challenging hilly county (with bigger deer) in 1986, he applied!

We moved to Creston in November 1986, taking our sweet one-year-old Amy with us. That led to a 26-year run in Union County, an awesome place to raise kids. And hunt deer. Paul career flourished there. He traveled to Washington, DC for training, was part of a hugely successful project to build Three-Mile Lake, which took many working parts and ongoing work on the watershed above the lake (and the lake next to it - Twelve Mile) to keep it from silting in.

I know I'm really not touching the surface of the number of projects Paul and the people he worked with accomplished. I've always told him - no matter what, he can always say he built a lake! I remember driving out and looking at where it was going to go. Now many towns and rural residents enjoy clean drinking water from the lake. The lodge on the lake holds weddings and cabins, family reunions. Not to mention the fishing!

I must admit I'd get a little crabby when a farmer would call at 4 PM on Saturday to ask Paul a program question. But one must consider they don't work office hours. Paul was always very patient, answering their questions. I know it's not heart surgery, but we dirt and trash people are very passionate about what we do. We often bring our jobs home with us. He lost a lot of sleep, worrying about work because he's a fretter and because he truly cared about the outcomes and their effects.

I put my career on hold as we followed Paul's. I feel fortunate that I was able to work in a number of interesting jobs - and eventually found my passion at age 40 doing environmental work too. Ten years ago, after both kids were out of the house, I took a job with the Department of Natural Resources in Des Moines, commuting back and forth. After four years, an opportunity came up at the NRCS state office in Des Moines for Paul - and we moved here.

It was hard to move away from the job he'd had for 26 years, but he was ready for a new challenge, managing the EQIP program. He's been very good at that, and they'll miss him. But Paul and I are very real about this retirement thing - we've seen it happen. You miss retirees, but it's like a pool. You get out - there are some ripples left behind, but eventually, the new swimmers take over. It's the way it is meant to be.

Paul graduated from Iowa State University with a degree in Fisheries and Wildlife Biology. It's hard to get a job in that field - and when you do, you work long hours. He got good advice when he was in school - take Agronomy! Then use your vacation hours to pursue your passion. I think he's even more passionate about hunting deer now than he was when we met...not just the actual hunt, but the sustainability of the herd, putting up stands, observation etc.

What's in the future. I'll continue to work. As I mentioned - no career for me until I was 40, so I need to put in some more time. We'll need to set some ground rules - my telecommute time on Friday mornings are sacred - I can't have him bugging me! haha  He will take some time to get his bearings. He has a number of home improvement projects he'll work on. Our children also have projects! Dad's got skills - yard, woodworking. Now that they have houses...

Paul had a retirement party on his last workday at one of our favorite places, a woman-owned brewery called Peace Tree in the East Village. Even though it was on a Thursday in January, many current and former co-workers came for a beer and a chat - a real tribute to the employee, boss, and friend he was. Our daughter Amy flew in to surprise him. She has the best boss to let her off (self-employed). That was a treat. Jud was there in spirit. Thanks to Paul's workmates for planning the party - it was perfect! It was fun talking to people - many had little Amy/Jud stories. And Paul stories.

It is an exciting time! And a little unsettling for someone who doesn't do nothing well - but he's got big plans.

   

NRCS likes clocks! 

The Adventure Continued

Do you ever fly Frontier? That airline is much like dining in an ala carte restaurant. They ding you for everything you order. When you look at the menu, it looks like such a bargain - a steak for $16.99! By the time you add a side salad and baked potato, you are closing in on $30. My east/west coast readers are like WHAT? So cheap! I'm talking Iowa prices. #heartofbeefcountry Our flight from Denver to the ISU bowl game in San Antonio was on Frontier, where there is a $38 fee for bags - carry on or checked. Seats, drinks, snacks? Cha-ching $$.

We landed in San Antonio, Texas just before Jud and Kara and shared an Uber into town from the airport. One of our New Year resolutions is to use this service more when we go out at night. Now we both have the app on our phones. Yep - it's only taken years. #olddogsnewtrick J&K went off to find their hotel when we arrived at ours.

Mandy, Barb and Mike Archer

The weather in Texas was a big change from Colorado (plus 50 degrees). Our tailgating pals, Ehreckes, and McKims (note - I don't need to add apostrophes to make their names plural - my pet peeve) were already in town - at a pep rally for our fave team, the Cyclones. Paul and I walked around the Alamo and then found a table at a Riverwalk bar Durty Nellie's to hang out at - complete with dirty limerick piano guy. We enjoyed people watching and snagged another table when our friends arrived. Niece Barb and fam sited us! Many others stopped by to say "hi". Cyclones fans were everywhere - in boats, walking by, in restaurants. Ames Far South.

Eventually, we decided to rustle up some food. Always good to get a base for your beer. If you've ever been to San Antonio you know that you walk upstairs to get the street level from the Riverwalk. We ended up at the Number 1 (and only) Sports Bar in town - right across from our hotel.

Busch guy - next to Donnie

If you aren't from Iowa you may not know our people are known for drinking (hangs head) Busch Light beer. (Black Velvet is the number 1 liquor - so it figures. We like cheap). We drank Memphis out of that beer at last year's bowl game. Budweiser, who distributes Busch, sniffed out a marketing opportunity and sent us the Busch Light Guy and plenty of Beer! So guess who stopped by our table and gave us a beer and stickers. He's very handsome in a beer guy way...

We ate corn dog appetizers and pizza. And were back at our hotel by 10 PM. Yay old people!

Photo courtesy of Kari

The next day was game day.  The weather was a bit chillier. We'd decided to do the Riverwalk boat tour early - to beat the crowd. We bundled up and hopped on a boat to get the historical water tour of the area. Very interesting. Then we walked through the packed Alamo - doing a self-tour. It is very important in the history of the State of Texas.

Don's college roomie Jim and wife Rita arrived in town that morning. We met them for lunch, which was delish but was completed on southern time. The hospitality we experienced in SA was slow. Perhaps they were overwhelmed by the cardinal and gold. Staff at many places just don't see to move in an efficient manner. No wonder Iowans are popular hires wherever they go.

College pals reunited! 

We decided to settle somewhere on the Riverwalk for the afternoon since the game wasn't until 8 PM. We walked out of the restaurant and heard cheering from the other side of the river. What? Jud, Kara and their college buddies were perched riverside at Rita's on the River, cheering when boats went by filled with Cyclone fans. We decided that was our place too! We ran into several friends while hanging out - including our former neighbors Todd and Suzie Stofferahn.

The group decided we needed a brief rest before walking to the Alamo Dome - just under a mile from our hotel. When we got to the stadium it was exciting - music, food, tailgaters. We had to walk down around under train tracks. Don's niece was tailgating near a group of former ISU greats including Coach Dan McCarney and Sage Rosenfels.

Gumbo booth - very good! 

Kevin, Kari, Paul and I decided to walk around and soak in the atmosphere - boy-howdy there was a lot. Huge motorhomes, families with kids on scooters and a band. There were flags from many teams proudly waving in the parking lot - OSU, Nebraska, TTU and more. Then we ran into a guy in an LSU shirt. He offered us gumbo - so sure! Kevin ate 2 cups! It was good and hit the spot. We listened to his spiel about a Wisconsin game he went to - a good 'ol boy with quite an accent.

At the stadium - it looks like a riverboat at night

Finally, it was time to go into the Dome! We drank Fireball shots for luck. Guess I should have finished mine. GRRR. I wish our team would have performed better - even so, we were still in the game until the end. Congrats to WSU for playing a game with very few errors - that was enough to win. Their quarterback was elusive and they had good team speed. Leach is a good coach. On to next year! ISU returns many players. Our clan did a group hug at the hotel. We have a great time win or lose - but winning is more fun.

A 6 a.m. flight made for a short night - but it was nice getting home early. What a week we had. I'm an anxious traveler. I don't like packing, am a nervous flyer - not the flying part but the checking in and airport part. I know - it will all work out in the end, but I don't like things blowing up plans. This trip came out better than any expectations I had. All week before we left I coached myself to just live in the moment. I wasn't perfect - a work in progress. 2019 - live it! Happy New Year!