Birthday fun

I had a nice birthday - for a Monday! I'm 56 years old. Yikes. It doesn't seem possible. I can't be a day older than 46, can I? I took a quiz linked in the New York Times recently that said my "Fitness Age" is 40. Yippy. You put in workout information, waist size and pulse. 56 is the new 40 - except when I look in the mirror....

I received a number of greeting cards - I saved them all to open when I got home from work. Except Paul's - he'd gotten up to go hunting. I opened his card - just to start my day right. Odie gave me a wag and a doggy smile too. I'd purchased cookies at Trader Joe's, but decided to also get Dunkin' Donuts. I did resist those round mounds of goodness but not the TJ cookies. At our office, you're in charge of bringing treats for your own big day - which works well because then if you don't - it's on you! Amy called early - so I got birthday wishes from my girl.

I even snagged a box of gluten free for my intolerant co-workers (their systems, that is...)

After our staff meeting, I had a message saying I had a delivery.

My deer hunter came through with roses

Some how I was lucky to get put on the special calendar for a work lunch for my birthday - even with Becky gone on maternity leave. My job has me working between 2 sections at DNR. Solid Waste staffers are very good about celebrating birthdays. My real section - Financial and Business Assistance - not so much. Four co-workers and I walked down Grand to Quentins about noon for a big baked potato. I enjoyed chatting with them about non-work related stuff!

That afternoon I received a text from Paul saying he'd shot a buck with his bow - yippy! Last year with the move, he got skunked - no deer. This year he's gotten 3 - 2 with his bow and 1 with my car. Of course that one got up and ran away...(I got my car back today - $4,000 damage in total - out of a 6 lane road with no other cars, the deer had to pick that spot to run??).

When I got home from work, I read all my cards - so clever, and nice to hear from everyone. I had a date that night with the Diamond Brooke ladies - because I wasn't expecting Paul home too early. Plus the Packers were playing that night, so I knew he'd be pretty worthless as a dining companion. Marilyn was set to pick me up - so when a vehicle pulled up outside I nearly ran out and jumped in. Then a guy got out - he had flowers! They were from Jud and Kara - how sweet!

Paul arrived with deer in tow. We already have the meat from the doe being processed so he will donate this one to the HUSH program - so the meat with go to the prison system. Phew- as long as I don't have to eat it.

Marilyn and Mary Lou picked me up about 5:30 to head back downtown to Americana Restaurant. There were 9 of us this month. Sometimes there are more, sometimes less. Many of them have Mary in their names (Mary Lou, Mary Jo, Mary Ann) - it's confusing. Plus there is another Leslie - and her last name starts with B. My maiden name letter, which makes me think it's me sometimes. We range in age from young/old (my age) to middle/old (70's). I had a nice lemondrop martini and scallops. They were yummy! Connie entertained us with stories of her granddaughter.

Paul was entranced by the Packers game when I got home - good call by me to attend the meal! Jud called later to wish me happy birthday. He's headed to California - near Sacramento this week for work. Then he and Kara will fly to Denver for a concert and to see his sissie. They're doing a beer tour. It was nice to talk to my little (6'2") buddy.

I received text messages and Facebook wishes throughout the day. All in all - a very nice birthday. I feel very blessed.

Parenthood - the toughest job

Okay - gotta say this video just melted me. Be patient and wade through the NBC stuff...it's worth it.
Moms

Jud's first Florida trip

I saw a link for this on Facebook last week too - but didn't take time to watch it. Then last night, we sat in front of one of "those" kids in church. You know the type...(Jud was one). Challenging! Busy, fussy - not the type to sit through an hour long church service, that's for sure. Carter (I heard his parents talking to the little guy) was about two, and he is a demanding guy. He put the folks through their paces during Mass.

It took me back. After watching the video link above, I wondered just what Amy and Jud would say nice about our parenting - more specifically, my mothering. I mostly hear the not so good stuff. Yeah, they remember that alright! The times I snapped (not being very patient, as the moms on the video described it...). Parenting is hard - it's the hardest thing I've ever done. Those little people, and then not so little but maturing people, challenge us to the max! Sometimes beyond our limits of our emotions, skills and physical abilities.

First day of school

The town of Creston may not be big, but we were so fortunate to live there. We didn't have family close by, but the daycare providers we had were loving and caring towards our children. The Frank family - with Carol as the head "sitter" took charge of the Goldsmith kids from the time Amy was 1 1/2 until Jud was 3 or so and I quit working fulltime. They even kept the kids overnight a few times. Their daughter Missy babysat for us evenings too - which was great because she knew them well.

When I was pregnant with Jud, my pal Mary suggested we sign up for a parenting class. What? Weren't we already parenting our perfect little 2-year-old daughter Amy? Why would we need classes for something so natural? But we signed up for the class put on by ISU Extension? I'm not sure. Jill Glanzman was the instructor - she was in my women's sorority at the time. I was sad when she moved away shortly after that.

Keith Peterson and Sam Katzer look on - Superhero bday cake

We knew some of the others in the class - Bobbie and Jeff McFee, and it was really my first chance to meet someone named Deb Peterson - destined to be my BFF someday. Her husband Larry wasn't able to participate much as he was on sports writing duty for the newspaper. During the class, held at the Methodist church education building, there was daycare/class provided for the kids. Mendy Ritzman helped with that, and Amy loved it - doing drawings and projects.

3 generations

The main thing we learned in this class was that everyone that has kids should take a parenting class. Otherwise how do you really know how to do it? Most of us imitate our parents. Um...not always such a good idea. The Bullock girls did turn out pretty well - but parenting in the 60's isn't parenting in the 90's.

We talked about methods of dealing with child behavior in the class. And the magic of the "Timeout" instead of spanking. Yep, we didn't use the 'ol flyswatter like mom - and instead plopped our kids onto a bench that Paul built. It was in the front entryway of our home at 201 East Prairie. Sometimes I put the naughty child there not very gently. A few times I gave myself a timeout. I locked myself in the bathroom - because I knew I might resort to violence if I stayed around my naughty children if I remained near them. They pounded on the door of course - not understanding how close I was to snapping.

The best part about parenting class was being around other parents to hear their trials and tribulations with their kids. It was like therapy! It helped me realize that I wasn't alone in feeling so insecure about what I was doing. TV shows either show perfect families or those that are so comic and dysfunctional that you don't believe they're anything close to real. Somewhere in between is the truth for most families - not perfect, but doing the best that they can!

After watching the video clip above, I thought about all the good things I did as a mother - even though my children might not remember them. I quit my full time job to stay home with them. On mornings when we were home, when the marching band would go by our house, we would rush out and sit on the porch to watch them. I would point out the "older" kids we knew - like their babysitters.

The kids would "help" me bake cookies. Sometimes they would break the egg onto the counter instead of into the bowl - which drove me nuts. But I stayed calm and scooped it into the bowl. They would usually get bored and wander off soon. I dragged them to the library lots. (Jud always had to go potty in the stinky downstairs bathroom). We also played many games - they probably remember Paul mostly in this role, but I was in on the family football games and basketball games. Plus the board games - the dreaded Candy Land. Argh.

Our dog Moki was the best at Hide and Go Seek - our whole house was the hiding area. Moki would usually rat Paul out by "pointing" to his hiding spot. I enjoyed taking the children and dog to Creston's parks. Moki thought he was a kid and would go down the slide when they did. Though Paul was the sports team coach for their teams - I was there faithfully in the stands with the rest of the moms, bringing treats as needed. I made sure they got the very special birthday cake they wanted each year, and planned their birthday parties. They had some good ones.

After Patrick's short life in 1991, it because difficult for me to find joy around the Christmas season. So when the kids got older we began to volunteer to help at a local Christmas Dinner held at St. Malachy School. The children got used to service - preparing carry out meals, and delivering some years. They also helped bus tables and chatted with the folks who attended the event.

Amy gave me this note on what must have been a rough day for me...have kept it in my wallet ever since!

Okay - that's enough of me patting myself on the back. Just like the moms in the video - I often dwell on the things I did not so well in parenting. Why did I care so much about sports? Why didn't I snuggle with them more and hold their hands when I could? Patience - perhaps I could have used drugs...haha. Woulda, shoulda, coulda. Our children forgive our transgressions so eagerly. They just want us to love and support them. If we could find a way to impress upon all parents that there IS a better way to parent, to show moms a video like this, perhaps we could make a difference. It's the toughest, most important job anyone can do.

Love this pic

Like a good neighbor

Well...not just LIKE a good neighbor - they were good neighbors. I had a dream last night that conjured up our neighbors at our home at 201 East Prairie. This morning, while getting ready for work I was thinking of them - Don and Betty. It took me a while to come up with their last name = Tyner.

They lived in the yellow house behind ours - it was actually on Walnut Street. We bought that house, in Creston, Iowa in 1986. (Mom came up with the last $2,000 - they drove a hard bargain!) It was mostly green, with some pink. Yee. But the house had cool bones, and it was the best of all the ones we looked at (that we could afford...) We immediately began painting and putting up wallpaper. Degreening the place.

It was November when we moved in, so it took until the next spring for us to meet the neighbors. We were out in the yard with our toddling girl and the little strawberry blond was a natural ice breaker! And Amy soon grew to be a favorite of our neighbors Don and Betty, who were about my parents age. The couple had raised three daughters in Creston, and had a few grandkids of their own, but none of them lived nearby. Betty especially headed lots of attention on Amy.

Tyners allowed the young couple next door to borrow stuff from them. And not just sugar! They had a camcorder - back before they were in your phone...This was the giant kind that looked like a TV camera. We borrowed it for Jud's baptism. Don had a bright red Ford truck that he allowed young Paul Goldsmith to use anytime we needed to haul stuff.

The summer Jud was three years old, Don and Betty decided to add a screened in porch onto their house where the deck was. They hired a carpenter named Paul to build it. Jud was very interested in the process and Paul very patiently answered the 3-year-old's endless questions. "What are you doing now Paul?" "Why?" The porch turned out perfect. Frequently when they sat there, the children wanted to go see them. Of course our dog Moki thought he was one of them. A kid that is...he thought he belonged in the porch with them and rammed his head into the screen until Don let him in too. Gee they were good sports.

When Amy learned to play the piano, Betty insisted she could in and play a tune for her - and of course Betty raved about how good she was! Jud and Amy could always count on the Tyners to purchase anything they were selling too - sports team stuff or St. Malachy goods. It didn't matter.

It was hard to tell Don and Betty that we were moving. We didn't want them to see the "For Sale" sign and find out that way. Of course we'd still see them around town occasionally. About a couple years before we moved away I read in the paper that Don had passed away. So sad to think of Betty without him. The service was set for when I was out of town, so I wasn't able to attend. So I sent a card of course. We were lucky to have good neighbors like the Tyners. I'm glad my dream conjured them up!

Sunday morning - I laughed, I cried

And no...that wasn't just watching yesterday's ISU Cyclone football game. Though that description could have described me, watching the game. It was ugly again. It's one of those years...we're Cyclone fans - we know the drill. Even before the season started I didn't like the home schedule - few early home games, and those were at night. One was on Thursday. Yuck. Add poor team play followed by injuries. I won't even mention the bad calls by referees - because that would make me sound petty. Yesterday's weather was very chilly and windy - it's too early to be that cold. Plus no RV to tailgate with. Sob...oh poor me. Yeah, I'll get over it. It's only football. I'm doing this for fun, right?

Life is good otherwise! Jud and Kara and friends stopped by our tailgate - always good to see them. I love getting hugs from the gang - Brad, Brady, Mitch, Pat - and I got to meet this girlfriend Lori. We had made a Crock Pot egg bake the night before - and it turned out quite tasty. You can't go wrong with eggs, cheese, bacon, sausage and onion. Diana made her signature sticky rolls with pecans. So despite the lack of an RV, we provided!

My pal - friends for over 20 years

Our waitress brought Deb this ice cream

How did we do it? It all started the night before. My BFF Deb was in town - shopping during her day off for birthday. We had made plans to go out for supper to celebrate. She arrived at my place about 4:30 p.m. So good to catch up - we hadn't seen each other since Labor Day! She, Paul and I headed to Cheesecake Factory for Happy Hour. McKims arrived about 6:45 p.m. for supper. We had a great time celebrating Deb's bday - which was Saturday. Deb took off for Creston when we got back to our place. So glad I got a chance to spend time with my bestie.

McKims stayed at our place for the night so we could get an early start for the ISU game in the a.m. We whipped up the egg casserole Friday night and got it started in the crockpot. About 9:30 p.m., Dee, Don and Paul decided to head to the Keg Stand bar to see Damon Dotson play. Phil Conover was there, and Katie McKim joined the group. Alas, I was pooped and stayed home. Saturday morning I was glad though...no hangover! We were up early Saturday and the rest is history. The beaten and bruised Cyclones and their fans are hopeful for next Saturday.

So - Sunday morning - the CBS Show. http://www.cbsnews.com/sunday-morning/

The pumpkin segment made me laugh out loud! Especially when they used a crane to hoist the giant spheres into the sky - and then let them plummet onto unsuspecting junker cars. Pumpkin races, a regatta - Priceless!

The other precious segment involved football. 
I don't see a heading for the story on the website. It was about a high school football team that took a dive on the 1 yard line to allow a learning disabled teammate to score a touchdown. It's not really a new idea. What touched me was the interview of a receiver. He admitted this was not his idea - he's been pretty self-centered up to this time. Then tears began to roll down his cheeks, and he professed how this one event has changed him.

If only we could arrange for every person to undergo such an event in his/her young life. Alas - each of our hearts are not open to such change. Just like some people pretend to be "Christians" but do not act in a Christian manner when it really counts. I was going to say I'm not pointing fingers...but that would be a lie. I have pointed fingers. And sometimes I can point the finger right at myself - I admit it. I can only keep plugging away! Stories like the one told today about a young man learning the value of giving remind me how important it is.

We shall overcome

Last year in Bolder - the gang

My high school homies and I...we've got a few dings (or are a little dingy). Seriously. My friends have overcome some stuff - but are strong ladies that just keep plugging away. I've had my own trials in life - but can't say how much I love and admire my pals and their grace in dealing with adversity. Here are just a few things they have dealt with:

• While still a youngster herself, Pam discovered her baby daughter was deaf (it turned out okay, because Nicole is great, but it had to be a shock)
• Sally's newborn son suffered from an illness and had to have heart surgery, years later another son suffered a stroke and had to have heart surgery
• Marriage breakups 
• Single parenting
• Children who have gone through problems - health and other issues. No matter how old they are, they're always our babies!
• Robyn lost much of the hearing in one ear  
• Loss of a spouse - Joanie just lost her husband in January. They had just remarried, after breaking up a while earlier. Joan was caring for Larry when he took a turn for the worse.
• Loss of parents - too soon, especially Paula who lost her dad in 6th grade, Julia's Mom died in her early 50's.
• Paula's brother Kirk died of AIDS in the early 1980s - he's been gone so long now. Such a nice guy!

Joanie, Paula and Pammy

I'm sure I've missed other trials and tribulations. Nobody is immune from suffering, for sure. Everyone must decide how to deal with adversity. And despite it all - the girls can still laugh. You have to. I'm glad we are also there to support each other.

We remember our friend Theresa who passed away several years ago. We miss and love you Foostic.  

Austin Sunday

On Sunday our hostess Ms. Paula served a lovely breakfast of oven French Toast. I need to get that recipe for when the fam visits. Then we were off again - this time to climb a mountain - or what passes for one in Texas.

monument at the top of the hill overlooking the river and city

 

These ladies agreed to pose with flat Chris and Paula

 

 

Pam and I walked down the block and took pics of the local building artwork


 

Then we stopped at the Women's Art Center for a bit of shopping. I got a couple neat photos to frame as mementos of my trip.

The University of Texas campus was our next destination. Traffic was busy, but Paula deftly drove us around an accident - and got us to this beautiful fountain.

Texas Capitol - think the Gov is home?

By then, we were hungry again. We proceeded to a fun barbeque place called Rudy's. When they found out where we were from, and that we'd not been there before they rang a bell and said "we have a bunch of newbies from all over!" We got to try samples of everything before we ordered. It was very good.

I got turkey, beef and creamed corn

That night we were so stuffed we only ate guacamole, chips and popcorn. Along with a few adult bevs, that was just right! Man - there's nothing like hanging out with people you've known since you were knee high to a grass hopper. They know all your warts. You know theirs. And there is nothing but love and support going on - trading recipes, family information and work situations. They got stuck listening to a bunch of my crappy stories. I guess I'm more like my daddy than I ever knew I would be. He told stories too.

Sally talked us into taking a mini version of the Myers Briggs Personality Assessment. She brought along worksheets and scoring sheets with assessments. They weren't perfect - except Joanie's. I think her assessment pretty much nailed her personality! Mine made me sound a lot like Pat Bullock - a tough decision maker. I hope I come across as having more heart than that! Interesting exercise.

Paula delivered me to the Austin airport Monday morning. It was tough to say goodbye. I don't know when I'll see my buddies again. Love 'em - they're important to me. Again the security line was slow - and I messed up and had the wrong boarding pass in my hand. After fumbling around to find the right one - the TSA gal checked it and sent me to the short line! The one where you don't have to take your shoes off. Must have felt sorry for the dumb lady...

I got myself rearranged after getting through security and heard...bagpipes. It was an honor guard escorting WW2 vets heading out to Washington D.C. I was already feeling sentimental from leaving my friends - and this choked me up even more! Those old fellas looked so proud. The musician played Amazing Grace and a singer did the National Anthem. Awesome. It was a fitting end to my weekend.

We salute you

Austin is Bacon my heart!

My new pick city is Austin, TX. What a cool place! You'd never know it's in the middle of a state that considers itself its own country...haha


 

Sammy the dog in his Halloween costume - (being ridden by a cowboy)

I went to visit my longtime pal Paula Jayne Bacon who has lived in Austin for something like 20 years. I've known Paula nearly as long as I've known Robyn! We were tots together. I flew in on Friday morning after Paul dropped me off bright and early at the DSM airport. I actually had to stand in line there for once at security!

Paula and Sammy

My buddy has a lovely home, and the cutest doggy ever. Texas has water problems - or usually the lack of water. So Paula has purchased huge rain barrels that are hooked to the gutters that collect rain off her roof. And - she has a bitchin' composter with a little stainless steel container right by her sink for organics. I'm so jealous. Now that I live in a townhouse, I no longer have a composter. I think I'll check with the landscape committee about getting one. And a nice rain barrel too.

Composter - far left. 2 large and 1 small rain barrels

 Friday night we took in some music - Stevie Ray Vaughn style. We got to the Saxon Pub early enough to get good seats. Because that's how Paula rolls! She's quite organized. I like that. The club owner (at least he said he was...or he was full of shit - we're not sure which), Joe, came around to shoot the breeze. Then he brought us a round of Austin kamikaze shots. Yum!

We got to see Denny Freeman Band. The drummer was a mentor to Stevie Ray, and the bass player was - well a chick. It took me a while to figure that out. I can say stuff like that, because people have mistaken me for a guy too. When I worked for Harry Hjortshoj at his Fina Gas Station - I used to wear uniform shirts and people thought I was his son. Short hair  and no boobs can be a curse sometimes.

The music was really great. Paula says she likes to go to see jazz on Mondays. How cool is that? I love live music. 

The next day, after a hearty breakfast, we set out to conquer Austin. No, not really. It kicked our butts. All week, the Weather Channel told me it was likely to rain. Wrong - beautiful blue sky. We headed to Lady Bird Johnson Lake to see the sites - Stevie's statue and a ghost tree some artist made.



SR Vaughn

Ghost Tree from the bridge
 

We ended up walking over 6 miles that day - and oh the sites we saw - and old hotel, a festival of the dead and don't forget the boot store. I purchased some Frye Boots that feel as soft as buttah! Oh - I how lusted for some hand tooled cowboy boots. They were beautiful. But I couldn't justify a purchase like that. So I went with something more in keeping with my lifestyle.

That night, Paula cooked a tasty pasta dish for us and we watched an old movie - Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I couldn't help but think about the sisterhood our group of friends has. I am blessed to have such friends!

Tiny skeletons in a store



Driskill Hotel, Austin



beautiful boots
 

Sally couldn't make up her mind - even with Paula to help!