Girl Talk - no boys allowed

Like the fire of a thousand suns...the hot flash!

Unless you can stand hearing about things like Uteruses. Or is the plural Uteri? Don't ask me, I have fuzzy brain. Why you ask? If you're not asking - this blog's not for you!

Start up the way back machine. Going on three years ago now I had a hysterectomy - DaVinci style (it's a type of computer assisted surgery) - quite artistic. I decided prior to surgery that I wished to retain my ovaries so I wouldn't be plunged into immediate menopause, but Dr. Dornbier found a large cyst on leftie - so out she went. Since surgery I haven't had any monthly - well reminders of my womanliness. So I haven't been quite sure whether or not I've gone through the change or not.

Mom had a hysterectomy at an early age - so I didn't have her to go by. Sister Cindo had one in her 40's. But Suso - she kept going strong with periods until past age 55! So I wasn't sure what to expect. When could I expect to go through menopause? When would I be in the Big M Club? Some of my friends had their last period in their 40's whilst others are still experiencing the monthly joy of hemorrhaging with cramps. And buying all those feminine products at top prices.

A few weeks ago I noticed I felt intense heat washing over me. Hot! Then it was over. Could this be one of those hot flashes I'd heard my girlies talk about? I must admit I'd made fun of them - but now I feel their pain! It's kind of like when I laughed about girls getting their periods in 7th grade - and then I got mine...no fun. For 40 years with timeout only for pregnancies! Hot flashes became a multiple time daily event. Yoo hoo.

But the worse part? Fuzzy brain. I'm having problems with word retrieval. People's names? Gone. Even words perched on the edge of my brain just waiting to pop into a sentence. But no. Said word is stuck, wedged in a brain crevice not to get to my tongue. Until later - when I'm not trying to come up with it. And there was that lil episode at the bridal shower when I signed Patti's name on the card with her maiden name. And I didn't even know her when she was a maiden! Damn you hormones.

Some days I go through brief periods when I don't even feel like myself. What the hell!?! Am I finally growing up? Or is it all the damn hormones ebbing and flowing?

I had my annual physical with Sheryl Young ARNP this week. She's such a nice lady, and she took time to talk to me about my life - not just check my various orifices and organs. I've known Sheryl for 20 years or so - so that also makes it easy for me to spill my guts (no not literally) to her. She mentioned the possibility of hormone replacement, but I'm holding out for now. I need to get this dented wing of mine (shoulder injury) fixed before I think about the next thing.

So if you're talking to me, and a bead of perspiration breaks out on my upper lip, and I forget a name or a word. Or even my whole train of thought of where I was going with the whole story - just laugh with me and offer me a beer! Unless we're at work of course...

They say this too shall pass. And I'll be sharp as a - one of those things you beat horses with - again. Oh yeah - a whip!

The continuing saga

of what happened to my uterus. Hmmm where were we? Oh yes, a few weeks ago I described giving birth (or at least it felt like it) in the bathtub a month ago, and then my doctor's visit where - doo doo doo do (dramatic music) a polyp was discovered in my uterus.

So after much soul searching, I decided my uterus, as good as it's been to me, must go. After all - it (with a little help from Pablo the pool boy and my ovaries) gave me three kids. Surgery was scheduled for yesterday, and we arrived early, as per Dave Bullock rules. Check in was fairly simple, and we were soon shown into pre-op.

The lab/vein/urine (I know there's a better name but can't come up with it) person was right out of Grey's Anatomy. The Sandra Oh character - oriental and stoic. Nice enough, but prim and proper. Anyway, she got the job done, and soon I was naked, save for the nice thick cotton gown that did seem to cover my ass. Plus I got to put on some ted hose - I think that's what they're called. Now I really feel sorry for my friend Vic who, due to a history of blood clots, has to wear those often.

Then we waited for the Doc to finish up with his first date. Yes, there was another uterus before me. He stopped in briefly, told Paul that after surgery I should do no housework for 10 - 15 years. My kind of doc all right! Then off he went and I got a nice shot of Versed in my IV. Minute 1 - I remember thinking - this is like my first lemondrop. Minute 2 - OUT! Paul said I was mumbling. Then I don't remember a thing until post-op. No nausea, coughing etc.

Surgery took longer than expected - due to scar tissue. You may recall I had opted to keep my ovaries if they looked good. Alas - Mr. Lefty was a dud as it had a cyst. So out it went. Let's hope that was the root of all evil and all pain will now be banished - including my shoulder issues. Before I knew it they wheeled me into a room. A private one with no comatose woman in the other bed (memory from my last surgery).

I was hungry (see my blog from Monday). So I ordered pancakes from room service - still jealous from Monday's breakfast with my buddies. They weren't real good but I ate them anyway. I took a peek at my gut - 3 new holes plus my belly button. I got an ice bag to put on them. I told the nurse I hoped to go home that night.

A tech came in to remove my catheter. Yay! Later I got my IV out. Meanwhile Pablo waited patiently. I was feeling pretty good, and the nurse took out my IV and called the Doc to see if checkout was OK. We got out of there around 9, and stopped by Walgreens for meds. Home at 10:3o. Oh sweet home.

I told Deb I feel about as bad as after one of her tough ab workouts. haha. I'm a little sore when I breath deeply - probably due to them pumping me full of gas to separate my organs. I'm wondering what will happen now that I'm down 1 ovary. Don't see the doc for a month. Today I'm taking it easy. Fingers crossed no infection! Feeling thankful for all the good thoughts and prayers. I'm a lucky gal!

Missing da bikers

It's the best week of the year to walk the Waukee bike/walking trail. Most of the serious bikers are on RAGBRAI. It would be safe to venture on the trail to walk. But I forgot my workout stuff. Damn it!

First thing this a.m. I went to see Sheryl Young for my pre-surgery physical. Had a mini EKG, blood work, peed in a cup and answered Qs. Then I got to visit with Sheryl who is an ARNP. She asked about the procedure and wondered if I was keeping my ovaries or not. Hmmm, she gave some reasons why it might be a good idea to ditch the little buggers. In the end we decided I should discuss it with the doc.

Then I spent a couple hours at the Environmental Protection Commission meeting. This is a board who makes rules for natural resources stuff. For the first hour we listened to the commission discuss hog confinements. Then it was time for public comment - each person who signed up was allotted 3 minutes to vent. The first ten people were against a proposed hog confinement in Van Buren County. I felt empathy for them. I wouldn't like my property surrounded by pooping hogs.

After that, a couple solid waste peeps (Hal and Cindy) spoke out against a proposed change in my rule. The one that spells out much of what I do. Chad, who has been with our department longer than I got the privilege of then getting up to speak about the changes. The commissioners grilled him about the part Hal and Cindy spoke on. If it goes through, our department will take in more $$ in solid waste tonnage fees - collecting for construction and demolition debris that is presently exempt. In the end, the commission voted as Chad asked them to. Next the proposed change goes before a rules committee. Stay tuned.

After a brief period in my cubicle, I then went to see Dr. Dornbier about my upcoming surgery. He explained the possibilities of the surgery. What could go wrong. Infection has the highest probability. Yuck! He listed off pros and cons on the ovary thing. Clear as mud. I need to call in the marines to help with this decision. My sis Betso the nurse and her loyal hubby Wayne the wonder Doc. Plus I need to discuss it with my beloved pool boy. Stay tuned.

Tipped tea cup

I must have been 10 or so when Mom had her hysterectomy at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. I remember asking Dad, "what's wrong with Mom"? He told me she had a tipped tea cup. Hmmm I guess I uterus could be considered a type of tea cup. NOT! Back in the 60's people weren't big on using proper names for organs of a sexual nature. I'm surprised Dad didn't tell me Mom had a problem with her tinkler.

Mom also had to endure several painful vein stripping surgeries for varicose veins. I am sure that had to be tough - to go from a hottie to someone with Frankenstein stitches all over her legs. Mom had to wear leg wraps for a long time after her surgery.

Back to me. After 3 hours in search of the cause of my recent female medical issues, today we have a diagnosis. I was lucky to get into see a partner of Dr. Turner who did my ablation two years ago. This was the first time I'd met this Doc - Dornbier is his name. Turns out he's the brother of Anita Studer in Creston. Small world here in Ioway. After Dr. Dornbier did an exam and heard my symptoms at his office on Westown Parkway in West Des Moines, he sent me back downtown for a vaginal ultrasound.

The waiting room at an obstetrics/gyno is an interesting place. Lots of pregnant women and their support systems - mom, husband, signif other. Lots of babies. And then there's me - a dried up old woman. I could tell the ultrasound tech was measuring something during my procedure. When she was done she told me to go back to West DM to see the Doc again. Good thing I'm enjoying my book on CD.

Dr. Dornbier said I have a polyp in my uterus. So it's NOT a tipped tea cup. Choices - hysterectomy or another D&C. One would be permanent and require an overnight at a hospital and 2 weeks off work. The D&C not as much, but not as sure a thing.

After my appointment, I felt down. I am feeling old and worn out and fat. A little pity party for myself. But sometimes one needs that. I'll get over it. But for now, allowing a little self-pity.