It's been a while since I've cried

A book I read recently had a great quote describing a situation the female lead character was going through - "Just the normal stupidity of life in which sometimes it is necessary to cry." I like books that let us inside the character's inner thoughts like that.

That quote nails my usual reason to cry - just the little stupid stuff that sometimes adds up, building up a sort of pressure. Then, when the scale of life finally tips, I cry. Mostly it's at home, often when I'm in bed in the dark. I usually try to muffle it so I don't awaken any of the others. I mean Paul, Odie and Kitty. Though Odie and Paul can be good at consoling me.

Moki the wonder dog (1990-2004) was a great consoler. He mopped up a lot of tears during the my time of intense grief after Patrick's brief life. And when Mom died. Odie got mop up duty after Dad died. Hugs from my family always help too.

I do get teary eyed fairly frequently any more. Heck before I know it, I'll be like my dad, or worse yet, Diana McKim - crying over Hallmark commercials. Sometimes I think it's therapeutic to watch sad movies and cry. Movies can help those sad stupid little things adding up to bubble over, and you can those tears off your chest.

One time in college (according to Wiki it was 1975) my roomies (Sal, Jane, Vic) and I must have been feeling blue. We went to the movie theater at North Grand Mall to watch "Other Side of the Mountain - the Jill Kinmont Story." Jill was a potential Olympic skier in the 50's who suffered a ski accident in Utah. She was paralyzed from the neck down - at age 18. We went to this movie during a time that must have been quite stressful for each of us. All those tests, boy issues, which beer to drink. Anyway we all blubbered and came out puffy and red. Quite attractive! Then we went to a party and drank heavily.

One can't predict when the tears will come - just hope to God it's not at work. When I was younger, it seemed tears were much closer to the surface when it came to talking to my boss about emotional type things. God I hated that! It seems like such a sign of weakness, but I felt helpless to stop them.

I haven't cried at work in years (guess I'm a crusty old lady now), but when I worked at Gits (1995-1997), tears were necessary! Now that was a very stressful job. Good thing I had a nice quiet place in a corner of the parts room to head to when tears threatened.

At the landfill, I cried after my shouting match with the 240 pound 6'5" scary equipment operator. He got in my face and I got right back in his face, not crying until he left and I came to my senses. What was I thinking? That guy could have hurt me. I didn't cry after the little old lady scale operator kinda threatened me with her gun after we argued. "I have a gun in my purse and I know how to use it," she said. But I did kinda hyperventilate when I got back to my office.

No predictions on when tears will come again. Just that they will.

Good sheets and cereal

In in Waterloo, at day 2 of the trash conference. Staying at the Fairfield Inn, not the Ramada attached to the conference center. Why? That motel didn't have the $50 government rate, so I searched for a place that was and ended up here. It's not bad - a division of Marriott ya know.

And it has good sheets. Not an icky germ ridden comforter like lots of motels do. Extra pillows too. At the motel continental breakfast this a.m. I had Captain Crunch. Ah breakfast of champions. My mom was a sucker for kids asking for sugary cereal!

When we were really little, I remember eating soft-boiled eggs in a special egg cup. I got a black mark at Kindergarten (evil Mrs. Christiansen) for having egg on my face. Guess we were learning the skill of face washing. But when I got a little older, Betso and I mostly ate cereal for breakfast, while Mom smoked and did the NY Times Crossword puzzle at the table.

I'll loved all the sugary stuff. Sugar Smacks, Fruit Loops (not my fave), Corn Pops, Frosted Flakes, Cocoa Puffs and Cap'n Crunch (not with crunch berries though). Lucky Charms were good too. Then Count Chocula came out. I was a fool for that stuff - made the milk chocolaty good! We also liked Pop Tarts - my favorite was cinnamon, and Cream of Wheat with brown sugar in it.

Do you remember Carnation Instant Breakfast? I'd drink one of those AND eat breakfast. Hmmm somehow I didn't turn into a two ton tilly. Guess it was all that activity, since we only got the 3 channels on the boob tube.

Though I didn't smoke at the table, I did buy many of the sugary concoction cereals for my own kids. I know, bad mommy. Tomorrow I'm thinking of hitting the IHOP near my motel. I'm might have a waffle with chocolate chips and whip cream. Ummm just kidding - about the waffle. I'll get stuffed French Toast. Once a sweet freak...

Wow

Just realized I went over 200 posts yesterday. Hmm I'm thinking I should get an award for bein' so wordy...

I'm at my 13th annual Iowa Recycling and Solid Waste Conference. This year it's in Waterloo. Makes me think about that first one I attended. It was in Sioux City. About a month prior to the conference I went to a waste sort in Perry. Yeah, I know! I get to do all the fun stuff.

A waste sort is when people actually dig through loads of garbage to determine what the makeup is - how much is paper, food, metal etc. At the waste sort, I met a couple of cool women with whom I'm still friends today - Susan and Barb. (friendship longevity is something worth striving for...) Knowing the Union County Landfill Commission (my employer back then) was not rolling in dough, I made arrangements to room with Susan S. at that first conference in Sioux City.


Sleeping/rooming with people you don't know well is kinda weird. In fact sleeping with anyone is weird, because we all have our own little rituals. I'm happy to report that Susan and I got along quite famously. She (nor I) snored or made other strange nighttime noises. In fact we stayed up late chatting and getting to know each other. Susan is an awesome lady, very hardworking and thoughtful.

At the conference I hung out with Susan and Barb at breaks. They introduced me to another cool chicka - Pam. The four of us became fast friends (what does that mean? Do some people make slow friends?), meeting periodically to talk about recycling education, and our lives in general. The three of them were great mentors and peers to me, especially in those early years when I was struggling to figure out just what I was supposed to be doing in my new job as recycling educator.

Tomorrow I should see Susan and Pam. Alas Barb moved to Fort Dodge with her pastor hubbie - she was just a newlywed that first year in Sioux City. Barb is now working for Trees Forever, but she says she misses the trash world.

I like trash people. They are good people. Except for the dumb asses - there are a few of those. I plan to enjoy myself with the 150 trash folks tomorrow.

Belly Laughs

Just back from my power walk - deep thoughts regarding our weekend. Some of my convoluted thoughts:

1. The most fun part of the weekend for me was driving around KC in a Suburban filled with 12 peeps.

2. Dwight Conover provided the most amusing quip of the weekend when, drafted to be one of the "back floor sitters" in the ride, Dee said "I'm getting a cramp in my foot" and Dwight (also a back floor dweller) said so earnestly - "Do some kegels!"

3. For those of you who don't know, those are the pelvic floor exercises women are advised to do, but I'm not sure they do anything...

4. I laughed my ass off when he said it! Tears in the eyes laughing. I love to do that.

4.5 Marilyn levitated in the van, just like people from Fairfield. She was wedged into seat 3 very tightly.

5. The next most fun part was sitting in McKim's room watching football after the game, drinking beer and eating Bobbie's 50th bday cake. Marilyn wanted to get another chair to drag into the room and she dashed into 221 - unfortunately that was not the room of anyone in our group - much to the surprise of the family resting on the beds!

6. That too made me belly laugh.

7. Todd is a goofy funny guy when he is partaking of alcoholic bevvies.

8. Donnie remembered his skivvies. I saw 'em (neatly folded in his suitcase).

KC2

Fortunately, I've reached a wise age, when I have a great deal of self-control. And I don't want to have to tinkle all the time. So I didn't have another drink until we reached our next destination - the KC Light and Power District where there was supposed to be a big Cyclone gathering. We kinda missed it. But it didn't sound like much anyhoo. A pretty decent band set up and began playing in the center stage area.

There were hundreds of Clone fans milling about, and we had fun running into folks we knew. There were several restaurants around, but they were all packed and we didn't get to eat until 9ish. Bobbie finally hit the wall - needed food. So she used her wiley eve of 50 talents to secure a table and some french fries at a sportsbar then. Then the clampetts loaded back up in the horseless carriage and headed back to the Comfort Inn, where Jeff fell asleep in coat and shoes as soon as he lay down. He was vewwy vewwy tired!

In the a.m. we sardined back into the Suburban for the short trek to Arrowhead Stadium. The weather didn't cooperate too well - it was overcast and windy, and we were all cold. I looked like a big Cyclone burrito with several layers of cardinal and gold clothing on! I started the day with a lil Mike's Hard Lemonade LITE. We chatted with other tailgaters parked near us, including our neighbors the Taylors. Good thing they left Jenna home to care for our cat!

I text offspring Juddy David and found out he was tailgating not far from our area, so Paul and I set out to find his group of 15. We ran into my college roomie Jane Flack (now Conn) and her sister and 2 brothers and their wives. Jane left her fam home in Waukee doing activities. It was nice to see the whole Flack clan - I've known 'em for 3o years! Then we wandered a bit more and found Judson and clan - took him back to see Flacks where he gave Jane a hug - so sweet! My baby likes to hug the womens. We met Jud's friend Noelle's folks too.

When we got back to our tailgate, people beside us were grilling fab foods like racks o ribs and wings. Dwight had hooked us up with a bank tailgate so we headed there for barbeque, which was good but it was very chilly. Bobbie and I decided we wanted to be Bayer VIPs as their tent had sides and a rockin' band. Bobbie even helped herself to a VIP neck hanger. She's a mature 50 now...

We got patted down heading into the game - that was interesting. Paul had my bday flask stuffed into his drawers, but they must have missed it thank goodness! The game was tragic. What's new. Post game the rent a cops ran us out of the stadium pretty quickly as there is a Chiefs game today (Sunday), but Todd seemed to be having fun playing flippy cup. I decided to drink a little beer post game, but ate enough to offset it. We walked to a not so good barbeque place later - Jeffie got bad barbeque. After a breakfast at Waffle House we headed home. Another memorable weekend. Man I'm beat!

Kansas City

Just back from KC. Great time! Though, as a Cyclone fan I must acknowledge that self-fulfiling prophecy came through once again. The Clones lost in devastating fashion. As they've done so many times.

Anyways, after the angst I portrayed after the Iowa game, I'm not going to dwell on that part of the weekend. I'm going to relate the "good stuff." Bobbie (the bday girl, turned 50 on Saturday) and Jeff picked us up on a chilly windy Friday around 11 a.m. We headed to the Elms Club for lunch, where I had a burger and my first beer of the day. Then we rendezvous with the rest of the "gang" for the trip. We rode with B&J and the other 8 funsters were in Higgins' suburban. Al and Sharon, D&D McKim, Dwight and Marilyn Conover and Suzie and Todd Stofferahn.

It wasn't a bad drive to KC. One potty stop on the way, and pulled into our over-priced Comfort Inn around 3. All the motels were in price gouging mode for game and big NASCAR race in town. We quickly re-grouped and headed to KC's ISU Cyclone outpost, Kelly's Tavern - serving 36 ounce schooners of beer. I must admit, I did share some of mine with Pablo as he made a restroom visit - that's a lot of suds! We also had a bite of pizza and shared our weekend excitement with an overflow crowd of other Cyclone fans. Loud and fun! Photos above from there.

Did I mention that once we reached Comfort Inn some of us rode in uncomfortable positions? Yes, we packed 12 people (none younger than 46) in a Suburban. Three in the far back on the floor - with no air! People watched in amazement as we unloaded. Poor Al Baby got stuck being permanent driver of this rolling group of smart asses on wheels. Oh boy did we get smart after our stop at Kellys, when we headed to Olathe to get tickets from Ryan McKim.

More on the next blog - with more pics!

Feeling crabby

I'm feeling crabby tonight. Not sure why...planning on a fun weekend - starting tomorrow at noon. Perhaps it was the rainy weather all day. Gloomy! So I didn't get to read outside at lunch.

When I left work, I needed to stop at Carpenter Uniform to pick up a couple DNR shirts I ordered. It was raining and I wasn't quite sure where I was going. I first turned on 56th Street, and ran into a dead end - so I had retrace my route and get on Grand over to 63rd. I do not know my way around Des Moines.

Then I turned on the wrong street off 63rd, but lucked into finding it a few minutes later. All in the rain. By the time I was on my way out of town the rain had tapered, and I could breath easy - 0ut of traffic. Odie and Paul were happy to see me. But I was beat! Plum tired.

I'm leaving Dell behind for the weekend, so will have to catch up on bloggin' Sunday. Hoping to be in a cheerier mood.