Shoulder and Peg - it will come back to you *(politics)

One of my favorite peeps was visiting Iowa this week. It worked out nicely into our schedule - the most excellent Bruce Hornsby concert Wednesday night - Paul rode up with Petersons and stayed all night with me at Joan's. I'm so lucky to have a nice roomie! ;>)

The next morning, we had a quick breakfast at Panera (did you know there's such thing as a French Toast bagel?) before my appointment with the shoulder surgeon at DMOS. That's the same place I went for the removal of Imelda, my shoe loving tumor (see my blog from March for more on this...). Unfortunately, the arm surgeon doesn't do shoulders. So that day I saw Dr. Kary Schulte.

First, because the computers at DMOS don't speak to the computers at Southwest Fam Physicians I had to have more X-Rays. I don't like that, but what are you going to do. At least I didn't have to disrobe and it was quick. Dr. Schulte reminded me a lot of my Doc Bro-In-Law - Betso's husband, Wayne Kohan. He's probably in his late 40's, soft-spoken, but someone you listen to. He put me through a series of movements and poked around. It didn't take him long to decide that scar tissue is my problem - not a torn rotator cuff, which I had feared.

I had a few options, but as bad as it's gotten, I've decided to have him put me under in mid July (as early as our schedules allow) and he'll crank that sucker and pop the scar tissue. Yeah, I know - sounds very painful. Paul had that done after his knee surgery and it was worse than the surgery! The same day of the procedure I'll begin physical therapy to prevent new scar tissue from laying down. This time I'll have to work through the pain instead of babying the thing - which is what I must have done that cause this whole problem. When it got sore, I quit using it. How are you supposed to know? And I didn't go to the doctor until it was too late - it was frozen by then. So a lesson to you all - treat injuries early! In between now and July 18, I'll Advil will be my friend and sleep hard to come by. Now that I know nothing is torn in there I'm going to get back to working out - no more whoa is me.

After my appointment (I was glad to have Pablo there for moral support and to ask questions), Paul dropped me off so I could work for a couple hours and he stopped at LifeServe Blood Center to donate. Yes - I turned him into a donor during our time living in the East Village. (Score one for me). I tried to donate at Valley West later, alas my blood pressure was too low. I hate getting rejected!

Dave Fox, Jean, (with Kelli - Denny's wife - not in this blog...)

Then we headed to Webster City for a mini-Goldsmith gathering - a chance to see my girl Peg Fox, who was coming back for her 25 high school reunion and to see family of course. In addition Paul's sisters were visiting: Pat, with husband Dave from Freeport, IL, Carol from Northwood and of course Peg's folks Paul's sis Jean and Husband Dave who have lived in Webster for a long time. Peg and her wife Brooke and twins Alex and Logan, age 4 arrived around 5:30 p.m. Sib pictures from last summer's fam reunion. Didn't seem to get one of Pat and Dave...

Carol and Jean

Peg is the second oldest of the Fox clan. Steve her bro lives in San Diego, Peg in New York City, Kris in Houston and Annette just west of the Twin Cities. So they are spread far and wide. When Peg moved to NYC in the mid 1990s, Jean and I went to visit her there. She attended the New School and worked part time. She had already gotten her undergrad and masters at UNI. It was then when I began to suspect that she was gay, but it was unspoken - I don't think I even said anything to Paul about it.

In 2000, Amy, Jean and I took a trip to NYC. Peg was temping at an insurance company and got us their box seat tickets to Tina Turner at Madison Square Garden. How's that for your first concert experience, Amy? We saw Lion King at the New Amsterdam Theater and had a great time throughout the whole trip! I love talking to Peg - she's a caring, intelligent, funny person. She always asks about our family and takes a true interest in their lives.

I can't say I was surprised a couple years later when Jean told Paul and me that Peg had come out to them - that she is gay. It was hard on Jean and Dave. I don't wish to bring this up every time I talk about her - the fact that Peg is gay certainly doesn't define her - but so many people still don't get it. I can't remember how long ago Peg and Brooke got married in Canada. Four years ago Peg gave birth to the boys - with the help of donor sperm. They are a committed couple raising their family just like any other couple. Oh wait - lots of children don't have 2 parents raising them...

Brooke, Logan, Alex, Peg

Anyway, for all of you out there who are against gay marriage - I wish you could meet Peg and her wife Brooke. Peg didn't choose to be attracted to women - she was born that way. The same with Brooke. Would it make all of us feel better if they faked it and married men? I'd prefer happy people marrying the ones they really love. If Dave Fox can accept this (he started out very conservative and his mind changed through the years), I think many of you out there can. When you have people who have been married and divorced multiple times arguing about the sanctity of marriage....

I'm glad we got to see them. The boys are full of energy - especially after a day of traveling. Like any good auntie I took sidewalk chalk - they enjoyed drawing "ant traps". It was a busy day, but paid off in hugs!

*Peg It Will Come Back to You is a song by Steely Dan

Father Art

Picture - St. Malachy School, Creston

Father Art McCann made my week last night at mass. Paul and I are Catholic - something that often pains me, thanks to the history, politics and actions of the church hierarchy. I'm so wishy washy on the faith that it's surprising I still go to church at all. But I do.


I was raised somewhat Catholic by my mom Patricia Morehead Bullock who was also raised that way. We liked to say Dad was Country Clubian - on Sunday mornings he went to the Country Club to play golf (or pitch in the winter). Mom had to sole chore of raising us to be little fish eaters - making sure we got to church (with doilies on our heads pre-vatican 2), Cathechism, and did all the sacraments. Dad went along for midnight mass at Christmas.


Something happened along the way - by the time I got to high school, Mom ran out of steam. I believe she got disillusioned with church stances on birth control, women's rights, and more. She continued to donate to church but didn't attend or make us go. So we didn't! While attending college, I only went to St. Thomas Aquinas once or twice.


Paul Goldsmith was raised in the Catholic stronghold of Earlville. His parents lives and all extended families' lives were based on the church and church activities. It was the center of their world. They did the rosary together and didn't miss church except upon their death bed. Paul attended Catholic school through 12th grade.


When I began dating Paul I realized how important faith was in the Goldsmith family. Every one of his married siblings except 1 had married a Catholic in the church. The one that bucked the system caused a major ruckus! When I moved to Sioux Falls, I even checked out the church in my neighborhood on my own. Paul and I usually attended when he visited. Then we were married in my home church Ss Peter and Paul in Atlantic. When we lived in Osage we didn't attend there too much as we were often traveling. Plus the priest was kind of a jerk. But Amy was baptized there.


Once we got to Creston, we've been very active in the church - Holy Spirit, and mostly the school, St. Malachy - which I'm a huge fan of for various reasons. Jud was baptized here by a wonderful priest and man, Fr. Gerald Stessman. Our baby Patrick, who only lived 6 days, was the reason we became friends with Fr. Howard Fitzgerald (Creston's priest) and Fr. Art McCann (the chaplain at Iowa Methodist Hospital who baptized, confirmed and gave Patrick last rites).


Despite all these things I has serious issues with the church. I know all churches have issues and politics going on. You don't get a large group of people together without that. I'm in line with the church's teachings on capital punishment, though Paul isn't. I understand the reasoning behind their stance on birth control, though I don't believe most of us can make natural family planning work. Sex is a powerful urge, and most of us have to have such control in so many other parts of our lives, that we won't take the time and use the restraint necessary.


But to go to Africa, where AIDS is rampant and preach against the use of condoms is criminal! Those people have NOTHING except their bodies. Women can't refuse their husbands, but they might get them to use condoms if they didn't have the excuse that the church forbids it. It's disgraceful. Just the idea of a bunch of celibate men making these decisions is wacky!


The church's stance on gay marriage is also something I don't understand. How can you base anything in today's world on strict interpretations on bible teachings? It's a book written by men long ago. So to use the bible as the reason two people should not be allowed to be legally wed is stupid. Yet many Iowans are all up in arms about the recent Supreme Court ruling that gays can be legally wed in Iowa. This law does not say that every church must allow this. It's a legal ruling, not one for religions (separate, remember??).

And don't get me started on choice issues - I contend that places like Planned Parenthood make the world better and safer. But they are considered the crux of all evil to the church. And so my best friend Deb, Planned Parenthood manager recently left the church. It makes me very sad, and confused. She and I share many beliefs. She has always seemed much more Catholic to me than I am! Except for her career choice of course. And now she's chosen to go somewhere that is more welcoming to her. If our church isn't for Deb, is it for me?


So of course the Catholic Church came out spewing against the same sex marriage ruling, calling for a state vote. Priests have railed against it from the pulpit. I disagree! Our local newspaper has had a few letters to the editor condemning homosexual love and marriage. I decided to share my views and that letter was in the paper Friday May 1. I told Paul that I'd probably get some dirty looks in church - and our present priest seems pretty conservative.


What I didn't know is that Father Art McCann was visiting priest last night. We shook his hand warmly on the way into church. (One of my earliest blogs shows him with me and Deb when we attended Sing along Sound of Music - we in nun garb, he in penguin suit (he moonlighted as an usher there). He was so sweet and caring when Patrick died, I'll always love him. I've always thought his views were probably too liberal for the Des Moines hierarchy - he's not been a parish priest for many years.


His homily was on a speaker he saw this week who lived through the Holocaust. It was very touching. Then, during the sign of peace he came down the steps and shook the hand of the people in front of us. Next he shook Paul's hand and mine and looked me in the eyes and said "thank you for the letter you wrote to the paper this week". I got tears in my eyes. That's why I stay Catholic. There has to be people like us and priests likes him to fight the good fight for our side and our beliefs! Thanks Fr. Art for re-affirming my faith that there are other Catholics like me.