Tales of the Farmer and the Salesman

Our granddaughter Nell is coming for Christmas! Along with her parents Jud and Kara and our daughter Amy and spouse Corey. And our four doggo grandpups - Franklin, Eros, Archie, and Henry. I vowed to never be the type of grandparent that forsakes my kids once a grandchild is born, but this is grandparent thing is pretty fun so far.

Just last night I was thinking of all the things we need to tell Nell. We were watching the news and a story about farming was on. I realized that Paul has a big burden. He needs to connect Nell with her farming roots. He grew up on a farm in Eastern Iowa and worked with farmers his whole career. My dad sold ladies lingerie for nearly 40 years to stores across Iowa! Talk about opposites. Still, growing up in smalltown Iowa in the 1960's and 70's, regardless of my dad's career, farming has been a big influence on my life. I did go to Moo U. 

I smile even today - imagining Paul's dad George asking about my family, and Paul explaining that my dad sold women's underthings. I wish I could have seen the look on George's face. Our dads were not much alike, yet they got along quite well. Both were really good at chatting. After Paul and I got married, when Dad was on his sales route through Iowa, he enjoyed stopping by the Goldsmith home in Earlville for a cup of coffee. I doubt they chatting much about lady's undies though - probably more about weather and crops. 

Dad with Goldsmiths, Jeff McFee, and Jean Fox and St. Malachy food fair

I've actually heard more about life on the Gsmith farm from Paul's older siblings - chicken fixin' day sounds like something I'm glad I missed! Paul and shared stories about meals, making sausage, driving a tractor as a really young boy, being around for milking cows, and scooping corn at the bottom of the silo - scary rats were brought up. And George made sure that Paul got to scoop manure whenever he had a hangover. 

Our former hometown, Creston, may be known as a railroad town, but agriculture is a big driving force there. Amy and Jud grew up with classmates from farm families. Hayrack rides were part of the annual St. Malachy Spaghetti Supper. Kids were into 4-H and Future Farmers of America, showing livestock from prize cattle to hogs and sheep. Classmates with surnames like Baker and Miller took time off to help get crops in. 

The next generation of Goldsmiths aren't involved with farming. Paul's brother Larry and wife Regina lived and farmed the "home" place near Earlville for many years, but sold out once their five boys went off to college and moved away. It's hard for Paul to drive by the farm now - most of the outbuildings are gone, though the house is still there. 

Our friend Jeff McFee is a farmer. It's a a life you must love to take on! I've never been a risk taker - preferring more "knowns" in my life, such as how much $ I'm going to make for the work I do. Farmers don't have that luxury - there are soooo many variables! I enjoy listening to Paul and Jeff talking about what's happening in the ag world - with cattle, crops, weather, prices, and farmer gossip. Boy can they gossip! A few years ago when Jud reached adulthood, he finally started to "get it" about farming. He asked Jeff if he worked outside all day even in winter. "Yep" was the answer. Hard to imagine for we cushy inside job people. Farming is a more than a job - it's a lifestyle. 

Yes, Nell needs to know her farming (and lingerie) roots! Family stories are important. People need to know where they come from - not because they must always stay the same, because is part of their foundation. Paul and I will be sure to tell Nell (and any future grandkids) the lore. 

Don't think for a minute there won't be Laura Goldsmith and Pat Bullock stories. That's a whole 'nother blog or two! 

As you can see below - our family still trades "the goods" on holidays. 

Easter

Paul and me 1982

Easter clothes - that were also used for my cousin Amy's wedding 1992

Today I've been thinking of Easters past. Thirty four years ago Paul took me to Webster City for Easter - and to meet his parents. I'd already met his sis Jean and husband Dave - but not their four kids.

Paul had told his sister Jean he was bringing a "surprise" to dinner. Argh - how embarrassing! If I knew him as well then as I do now, I'd have chewed his ass not to have let them know he was bringing an extra mouth to feed. Jean quickly put an extra plate on the table and was very gracious about it. I suppose Goldsmiths were used to lots of mouths.

Me - I was kind of in shock. It was a lot of people and I sure wasn't  used to that girlfriend role. George and Laura Goldsmith were there. "We like ham for Easter and we're pretty easy to get along with" was what I came away with. I'm sure they were all thinking "Is this the one - not what we really had pegged for Paul." He was supposed to be the priest of the family after all.

Other memorable Easters with the Goldsmiths: We usually headed to Paul's folk's place in Earlville way for that holiday because my parents were often still in sunny Florida. I recall watching The Ten Commandments in the "front room" at George and Laura's place. (once we discovered they were also getting the porn channel by mistake!) I remember driving to Earlville for Amy's first Easter. I had purchased a little mint green dress for Sunday to show her off. She looked so cute with her cap of reddish hair. It was hotter than blazes that year. We were so proud to show her off to the family.

When we went to Earlville for Easter, Laura would make sure to have tons of candy. She would dye lots of eggs or buy them from the neighbor girl across the street. After the kids went to bed, Paul and I would hide plastic eggs filled with candy around the living room. Amy and Jud would have a blast looking for them. Paul and I would also take an Easter basket for each kid - usually with some small gift - my favorites were kites and sidewalk chalk. One year we found a long lost Easter egg later that summer. Somebody was a good hider!

The Goldsmith family gathered - mostly the locals, Carol/Irv and kids, Larry/Regina and kids - sometimes Dave and Pat would come over from Freeport with Sarah and Matt. Amy and Grandma Laura would play the organ and sing. If we were there long, our kids always wanted to go out to the farm where Paul grew up. Larry and Regina lived there with their 5 sons. The two youngest, Karl and Kurt liked to play ninja turtles, video games and took the kids out and around the farm. At George and Laura's family members would play cards and Rummy K. Those are such good memories!

On Sunday we'd make the four hour drive back to Creston. One year when we got home, Fabulous Mary Faber (keeper of the kitty cat) had hidden eggs all over our yard. The kids still talk about how fun it was to find them. Easter is a joyous holiday - quiet for Paul and me this year.

And I didn't even try

I picked a great father for my children...without really even trying!

Sometimes when I talk to my oldest friends, they tell me that I talked long ago about what I was looking for in a mate. I don't recall this at all. Evidently my words had more of an impact on them than they did me! Or I was blowing smoke up their asses...

I wasn't like my roomie Sally - gorgeous blond and 5 foot 11". She always had guys lined up to date her. Othere roomies: Vic and Fred were destined for each other. Jane dated several guys (I'll never forget Stan). I'd had the HS boyfriend - the oh so nice Mike McCauley. Too nice for me. So nice that I broke up with him by our senior year, and dabbled a bit with Craig Both. He was more of a bad boy. But I didn't really have an ISU bf (Mark who broke my heart at the end of freshman year was a fairly brief dalliance). Moose wasn't bf material back then. I remember listening to sad love songs wondering if I'd ever find "the guy". Karla Bonoff - "Someone to Lay Down Beside Me". Oh the angst.

I've seen TV shows where advice is given that women should come up with a list of what they're looking for in a guy. But I don't remember doing that. Blond Catholic farm boy that will someday make a great father would not have been on my list! Somehow, despite myself, I lucked out. And so did our children.

How so? I think the best thing Paul Goldsmith does for Amy and Jud (and don't forget Patrick) is to love their mother well. In my opinion that is one thing many parents today do wrong - they elevate the children above the mate/marriage, putting too much stress on the kids. Sure the little monsters (children) might seem like they enjoy being the center of attention. But really it's stressful for them to feel as if the burden of the family depends on them.

In addition to treating me well, Paul also is a pretty darn good daddy. (Amy still calls him that and I love it, Jud opts for the traditional Dad). I expected it from the start and he came through - changing diapers, feeding the baby, getting up in the night. He was really good at the expected stuff - teaching the kids about sports, outdoors, mowing. He coached them through every sport - remaining fair to all the children, not inflating our kid's playing time. Paul is a wonderful role model, sharing household duties with me, we make a good team. Plus he's a good provider - demonstrating just what a good employee is for USDA all these years.

Now that A&J are mostly growed up, they still call Paul for advice on many things - cars, job stuff, investments, work. They call me too - it just depends on the nature of the question. I am in awe of the reliable, awesome guy he is. Sometimes I get lulled by it..taking him for granted as I'm sure our children do too.

Today, on his 25th Father's Day I am filled with appreciation that 30 years ago I was lucky enough to marry this wonderful father. Thanks to George and Laura Goldsmith for raising such a wonderful man.

Paul on last year's Elk hunting trip in Colorado

I miss my daddy David Judson Bullock. He's been gone 5 years now. I got to know him so much better in his later years than I did when I was young. He was such a friendly guy - could talk to anyone. Happy Dad's Day Dave Bullfrog!

Mom and Dad - Thanksgiving in Grand Junction one year