Hating on Hate

There was love and there was hate.

Our former hometown, Creston is a wonderful place filled with some awesome people. And some that aren't that great. Yes, just like in any town, there are some jerks living there - and I don't just mean people who disagree with my views.

I appreciate that everyone can't be as fair-minded and intelligent about the world and politics as I am. Wink, wink.

Creston has had some hiccups lately. For the past few years a wanna-be artist, perhaps with repressed homosexual tenancies (yes, Dr. Leslie has made a diagnosis), has sent anonymous hate mail (the snail kind) to anyone in town that they deem gay or gay-friendly.

I first I  heard of this was when this person picked on my friend Barb on the occasion of her daughter's engagement announcement hit the local newspaper. I can understand someone not agreeing with the concept of gay marriage and not getting married to a same-sex person and attending churches that don't perform those ceremonies. Others feel they must speak out publicly against it, lest we all think silence means agreement. While I'm no biblical scholar, I kinda wonder about the hypocritical religious types. Why are some things not allowed, yet other things such as divorce and affairs are now given a pass...yet another reason why organized religion is now on my "do not participate" list. Too many self-serving, judgmental rules.

Paul and I no longer live in Creston but are still proud to call it home after raising our family there. We have several family members who we love dearly that have married and will marry same-sex partners. What is so scary about love and partnership? In my opinion, coming generations will dwell on this concept much less than we do. The letter writer seems to be older...(My Nancy Drew skills have seen the clues in the letters).

clever rainbow sign - Love > Hate

I've not received one of the letters. Getting one would be upsetting. As an observer who hasn't received one, I feel sadder for the writer than mad. They spend a great deal of time on this hobby.

As a result of the letters, Barb decided to arrange a small event in Creston on 9/5 - a gathering of those who are against hate. Though not announced publicly, the turnout was good. I was glad we went, sneaking down early to hang out with our friends Deb and Larry Peterson who also attended. Larry, as a newsman who has covered "taboo" topics, has been the recipient of a couple of the dreaded letters. The police and U.S. Postal Service are trying to find out just who is sending the letters. I'm not sure what will happen when/if they are exposed. In the meantime - the hater will keep hating.

Small but dedicated group - some more clever signs than mine

Later this week all hell broke loose when a photo of five young Creston men was revealed - complete with a burning cross, white hoods and a rifle. When I saw it I was disturbed, angry and sad. The photo made its way onto the media scene around the country, with sad, mean comments about our hometown. Extreme racism, dumb kids or a combination of the two? I can't say.

I've read that the Creston High School student body has just over 10% non-white students. I venture to guess those numbers have increased in recent years. Is there resentment from that, just like overall in our country? Have they heard their relatives talk about this topic? Do they not like outside cultures coming into "their town"? These are all things Creston must painfully delve into. I sincerely hope that those five young men have a chance to meet Jewish people and people of color - in a personal way and understand that what they did truly hurts others. Only then can the healing begin. May they come out of this as better people.

And now it's "Hate Week" in Iowa - the big Iowa/Iowa State football game is Saturday. I'm having a hard time getting too worked up about it. Sure, come game time I'll be cheering on my Cyclones against the dreaded in-state rivals. For now, I'm trying to remember that there is more that unites us.

Bees

"It didn't suck" said film critic Paul Goldsmith. No, not really, but I held my breath when Paul and I watched chick flick "Secret Life of Bees" tonight. He usually makes such decrees after we watch (I insist he watch a chick flick every now and again to get in touch with his feminine side)this type of movie.

My hip book group read the book by the same name a couple years ago and we all really liked it. And everybody knows books are nearly always better than movies, because they provide so much more depth and information - stuff like plot development. In this case though, I thought the movie was well cast. Dakota Fanning played Lilly. That kid is a natural!

I always like Queen Latifa who plays Ms. August Boatwright - the matriarch of the film, and Alisha Keys as sister June. There was another sister I didn't recognize and a few no name guys in this film. The story is mainly about a young girl, Lilly, escaping her abusive father but it occurs during the age of civil rights and Martin Luther King. It is set in the south. Lilly's black housekeeper, ends up accompanying her on her trek to a town Lilly believes her dead mother once lived in.

The movie doesn't move quickly, but is never boring. Most of the white people in it are not friendly to blacks. In fact they are down right violent in two cases. It made me ponder...what would I have been like if I were in that situation?

When I was growing up, I only knew one black person, our cleaning lady, Velma Grey. I'm not sure how mom ended up with one of the only black people in Atlantic, Iowa as our cleaning lady. But we were expected to treat her the same as anyone else. I was only a child of 8 or so, but I do remember Velma eating lunch with us. I was fascinated to see that the palms of her hands were white. She was quiet and nice.

So that was how I was raised. I don't remember my parents making racist statements during the news or in discussions. They didn't tell racial jokes. Though my dad was known to embarrass me in later years by exclaiming loudly at a restaurant, "That's the daughter of the new colored family in town." Paul's father, George, who was ten years older than my dad, had never met an African-American until Paul introduced him to his boss at UPS (Paul worked there as a pre-loader in college), Herb. George was quite taken with Herb and it did open his eyes a bit. Nevertheless, he continued his derogatory racial comments regarding athletes when watching sports on TV.

It's hard to know just what I would have acted like if I had grown up in the south in the 1950's and 60's. I believe the "group-think" mentality would have been hard to shrug off. It's much like wondering what it would have been like to be a German Catholic in the Hitler era. Would I have been bold enough to help the Jews or stand up to the regime? I honestly don't know. I would like to think I would have had the guts. In today's world, I am supporting the right of homosexuals to live and love who ever they want to. And I'm not afraid to say it. To anyone.